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PODCAST

You Love & You Learn Podcast

Welcome to the You Love and You Learn podcast, the place to learn about all things love, relationships, relationship anxiety, and deconstructing the one-size-fits-all narrative of what it means to be in a happy relationship. Join Sarah Yudkin, trauma-informed Relationship Anxiety coach, as she shares the nuance and context that most modern relationship advice is missing. Whether it’s a solo episode or Sarah sitting down to interview guests with their own unique relationship wisdom, you’ll leave

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All Episodes

51:57

#71 - Trusting Your Intuition in Your First Serious...

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/05/14

It can be so hard to trust ourselves when there is so much relationship information and advice out there. Even well-meaning friends and family can add their two cents when sometimes, we really didn’t need it! In this episode, I sat down with a client of mine who shares her journey of trusting her intuition in her first serious relationship. We also explore the fear of being attracted to other people and how to discern if you should listen to other people’s advice. To get access to the “Is

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49:49

#70 - Healing Anxiety Through Nervous System...

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/05/07

Today we’re diving into something that has a big impact on our overall mental health and wellbeing; our vagus nerve. Amanda Armstrong, neuroscience and trauma-informed anxiety & depression coach (and now AUTHOR!) is back on the podcast to help walk us through how to improve our mental health by working with our vagus nerve - the nerve that connects our brain and body, and regulates our nervous system. Amanda has so much wisdom to share (check out episode 50 in case you have not heard

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57:38

#69 - If My Relationship Isn't Easy, Am I Forcing It?

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/04/30

In this episode, I address advice like “a relationship should feel mostly positive / easy / joyful in order to be worth it”, and “if the balance swings negative or if the association is that the relationship is difficult or complex then it’s a red flag.”If you’ve ever wondered “shouldn’t this be easier?” – this episode is for you! The article I mentioned in the podcast is here: https://www.lionsroar.com/intimate-relationship-as-a-spiritual-crucible/ — If you’re enjoying the podcast… JOIN

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45:22

#68 - Build Healthy Realtionship Habits w/ Gottman...

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/04/23

There is so much to learn from the Gottman Method of therapy, which is based on 40+ years of relationship research thanks to the work of John and Julie Gottman. I wanted to discuss how we can apply some of these key lessons to build better relationship habits, and was grateful to have a conversation with Anna Aslanian, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who’s a certified Gottman Method therapist. For more about Anna, check

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43:26

#67 - The Unintended Consequences of Healing

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/04/16

‘Healing’ and growth are usually looked at as good things. But what happens when it becomes something we’re doing to try and be perfect and fix all the ‘bad stuff’?If you feel like you ‘should’ be on a healing journey and growing, or else you’re doing something wrong and not going to live up to your ‘potential’ – this episode is for you. It’s a set of reminders that I come back to often, especially when my inner perfectionist tells me I’m not ‘healed’ enough. — If you’re enjoying the

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44:57

#66 - 5 Signs of Perfectionism in Relationships (and...

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/04/09

Perfectionism has been a big theme on the podcast, but it’s sooooo needed! I truly think perfectionism is one of the biggest impacts on how we show up in our life and relationship, so this episode is for all my high achievers who put the bar so high for themselves and others around them.I sit down with Kayla Licari, a physician associate turned coach that helps perfectionists conquer overwhelm in love and life. After realizing she was burning out from overachieving, perfectionist loops

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49:25

#65 - Mastering Your Mind Drama w/ Rebecca Ore

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/04/02

Does it ever feel like your mind just won’t stop throwing thoughts at you? In this episode, I sit down with relationship coach Rebecca Ore to talk about how to ‘master your mind drama’ and take your power back from anxious thoughts and feelings.She shares her own journey of going from feeling insecure in relationships to valuing herself and feeling worthy through simple, tangible tools and reframes that you can use right away! Resources Rebecca mentioned in the episode: Feel the Fear and

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30:24

#64 - Relationships Are Big Opportunities to 'Look in...

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/03/26

Our partners and relationships are constantly reflecting things back to us, and if we’re willing to ‘look in the mirror’ we can learn so much. One way we can learn from our relationship is to notice when we’re projecting; “when we see the self in the other.”In this episode, I normalize projecting (you’re not doing something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’), give examples of projections in my relationship so you can notice them more in your own, and share steps to shift out of projection into more

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47:28

#63 - From Triggered to Trusting Yourself w/ McKell...

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/03/19

Do you feel like you’re constantly comparing your relationship to others around you? Maybe you see a couple break up then worry you’re doomed to break up too. Or you see another couple doing something “better” than you and feel like your relationship isn’t good enough.In this episode, I chat with relationship anxiety coach McKell Kristen about how to shift from being triggered about other people’s relationships to building a deeper trust in yourself and your relationship. She shares the 3

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30:48

#62 - The "I'll Be Happy When..." Trap in Relationships

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/03/12

I’ll be happy when…I find The One my anxiety goes away my partner acts this way my partner looks just right my feelings are what I expect them to be these thoughts go away We place so many rules on ourselves and our partners, and sometimes expect the perfect conditions to be in place in order for us to be happy or be content. In this episode, I break down why this “I’ll be happy when” trap isn’t helping ourselves and our relationships, and give you 5 practices to shift out of this. — JOIN

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50:33

#61 - Cultivating Self-Compassion w/ Dr. Kristin Neff

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/03/05

In this episode I got to sit down with Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research who has been recognized as one of the most influential researchers in psychology worldwide. We talked all about her findings about self-compassion and how creating a more compassionate relationship with ourselves influences how we show up for others.This episode covers: the 3 pillars of self-compassion how to implement the pillars of self-compassion in your life how to feel your feelings without

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65:28

#60 - Taking Ownership for Relationship Anxiety w/ my...

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/02/27

A lot of times in our relationships, it’s easy to look at our partner and notice all the things they could be doing better. “It’s you, not me.”What’s not-so-easy is taking the time to understand how our own beliefs, patterns, and past experiences contribute to the dynamic. “It’s not you, it’s me.” In this episode, I sat down with a past private coaching client of mine who used to hyper-focus on all the ways her partner could be better. She’s not 100% “fixed” (and that no longer is her

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80:33

#59 - Sex, Anxiety, and Sex Anxiety

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/02/20

If our sex life doesn’t match the steamy scenes from the movies, it can bring up a lot of anxiety: “am I with the right partner sexually?” “are we having enough sex?” “is our sex passionate enough?” etc. And the ironic part is that all the pressure we place on ourselves and our sex life to be amazing can create the opposite outcome—feeling distracted and disconnected. In this episode what I wish I learned about sex earlier (so I’d have lower sex-pectations) and how to show up intentionally

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50:27

#58 - 5 Life-Changing Relationship Rules w/ Kimberley...

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/02/13

In this episode, I talk with Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT, about 5 relationship rules that changed her life. She’s been married for 20 years and has so much wisdom to share. Here’s a sneak peek at the 5 life-changing relationship rules: 1. It is not your job or my job to manage our family’s emotions. 2. It is not your job to please the people you are in a relationship with. 3. They are allowed to have their feelings about our choices. 4. It is okay if they struggle to understand us. 5. You get

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37:55

#57 - "Do I Stay, or Do I Go?"

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/02/06

“Do I stay or go?” “How do I know if a relationship is worth saving?” These are not-so-simple questions to answer, and can cause a lot of discomfort because of the uncertainty they drum up. In this episode, I explore three ways to reflect on these questions (not to get 100% certainty, but to get curious about how you think and feel); Are you looking for permission to stay or go? Are you willing to accept the consequences that come from the decision? What parts of you are looking to stay,

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41:51

#56 - "Are We Too Different?"

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/01/30

Have you ever wondered if you and your partner are too different? Too many personality clashes? “How will this ever work?” In today’s episode I explore why personality differences can feel so threatening and challenging, some reframes about personality differences to help you see them in a new light, and give strategies to navigate personality differences with more acceptance. In the episode I mention my “is it anxiety or incompatibility?” webinar, which you can get here:

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48:11

#55 - The Gifts of Long Distance Relationships...

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/01/23

Long distance relationships can be very challenging, especially if you’re getting pressure from external sources. “When are you going to be living together?” “Are you sure you’re not wasting your time?” “You should only do long distance if you have an end-date in sight” In this conversation I talk to Hannah Frewin of @healingwithhan__ about the ups and downs of long distance and how she went from being anxious and doubtful about her relationship and partner to feeling fulfilled within

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47:49

#54 - Jealous About Your Partner's Past? w/ Eva Thompson

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/01/16

Have you ever been jealous (or extremely jealous) of your partner’s past? Perhaps you’ve ruminated on their ex’s, asked them questions about their past, or felt like you can’t compare to people they’ve dated or been with intimately. This experience is a little something called retroactive jealousy (RJ), and I’m excited to bring on Eva Thompson who helps people overcome retroactive jealousy and get rid of intrusive thoughts and mental movies about their partners past. In this episode we talk

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38:40

#53 - Comparison in Relationships

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/01/09

Do you tend to compare your relationship to others a lot? Does it make you feel like your relationship isn’t up to par? I’m right there with ya—comparison is something I’ve had a hard time with for most of my life. AND, it’s also something I’ve really worked on in the last few years and I’ve been able to see improvements in. In this episode I dive into why comparison happens, what type of person is most likely to compare, the types of comparisons that can come up, how to change our

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62:27

#52 - Leaning into Discomfort in Your Relationship w/...

You Love & You Learn Podcast ·

2024/01/02

In this episode, I sit down with Robert James, an OCD & anxiety coach who having spent years struggling with OCD, finally learned to overcome & now helps others to do the same. We talked all about what it means to “lean into discomfort” in our journey to navigate relationship OCD and relationship anxiety (or general OCD and anxiety). Relationships bring up uncomfortable emotions at times, and if we shy away from them or react to them every time—we will be in for a bumpy ride. Robert

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131 results

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