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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

25:29

Camelops, the Camel Face

Paleo Bites ·

2024/08/13

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/camelops-hesternus-front-view-corey-ford.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Camelops, a… well, it’s a camel, guys. Yeah, news flash, Camelops is a camel. God, we really need another dinosaur episode soon. From the Late Pleistocene, this 7-foot camel lived in North America and lived alongside elephants, lions, bison, and wolves. A whole lot of creatures you wouldn’t expect to find on this continent, yet here they were. And here

en

19:13

Oncorhynchus rastrosus, the Saber-toothed Salmon

Paleo Bites ·

2024/08/06

(image source: https://eartharchives.org/articles/saber-toothed-salmon-teeth-more-like-tusks-than-fangs/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Oncorhynchus rastrosus, AKA the saber-toothed salmon, AKA the coolest name for a fish ever, but FYI it’s not actually a valid descriptor anymore, so AKA it’s a massive disappointment. A big flop. Like a fish. Flop, flop. From the Late Miocene, this 8-foot salmonid was still pretty impressive, being such a big fish that also had big

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23:31

Macrauchenia, the Long Llama

Paleo Bites ·

2024/07/30

(image source: Max Bellomio, @digital_duck on Twitter) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Macrauchenia, a big hoofed mammal that either had a trunk or didn’t, kind of like me when I travel or go to the pool. Either trunks or no trunks. It depends on how lazy I’m feeling. From the Pleistocene epoch, this 10-foot-tall litoptern ungulate was part of a group of mammals unique to South America that died out due to the Great American Interchange and the changing climate. Which means

en

33:09

Inostrancevia, of Alexander Inostrantsev

Paleo Bites ·

2024/07/23

(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/south-african-inostrancevia-11935.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Inostrancevia, potentially the largest of the gorgonopsids, which are a super-awesome group of creatures you should be ashamed you haven’t heard of before. Have you not heard of them before? Shame, shame! From the Late Permian, this 14-foot therapsid was the size of a bear, had saber-teeth, potentially fur, and lived millions of years before the first

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26:14

Carcharodontosaurus, the Shark-Toothed Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2024/07/16

(image source: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/zDoGPq) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Carcharodontosaurus, a big super-predator that competed with a croc-jawed dino with a sail and a croc-jawed dino without. Oh, and also a big croc. Good ol’ carchar stood out by not following the croc trend! What a rebel. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 40-foot theropod was one of those unlucky dinosaurs that got blown up twice, once by whatever extinction did it in back in its day and

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25:19

Panthera atrox, the American Lion

Paleo Bites ·

2024/07/09

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_lion) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Panthera atrox, which might also be Panthera leo atrox, making this an extinct subspecies rather than species. Which would be lame. I want differences in my prehistoric monsters! From the Pleistocene epoch, this 7-foot cat is perfectly themed for this great national holiday around this episode’s release… that holiday in question being Canada Day of course. These were in Canada too,

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23:11

Erketu, of the Mongolian Shamanistic God

Paleo Bites ·

2024/07/02

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Erketu-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Erketu, an obscure dinosaur named after a principle deity in Mongolian Shamanism, which means the jokes we make on this episode will surely send us straight to Mongolian hell. From the Late Cretaceous, this 50-foot macronarian sauropod had the longest neck relative to its body of any dinosaur, leading to the aforementioned terrible jokes you all expect us to make that are somehow

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29:37

Leptictidium, the Graceful Weasel

Paleo Bites ·

2024/06/25

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Leptictidium) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Leptictidium, a cute little mammal trying to be a theropod dinosaur, a kangaroo, and a squirrel all in one. Don’t ever say this creature didn’t have goals. From the Early Eocene, this 3-foot leptictidan was part of a family that didn’t leave any descendents and died a terrible and lonely death. Or maybe a peaceful one surrounded by its friends and family. I dunno, I wasn’t

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23:17

Ichthyotitan, the Fish Titan

Paleo Bites ·

2024/06/18

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/inkabg2/art/Ichthyotitan-severnensis-1049125055)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Ichthyotitan, the recently discovered big boy of the early Mesozoic seas that is up there with the biggest boys of all time, along with Perucetus and the modern blue whale. These weren’t just boys. They were men. Whatever that means. Frick the patriarchy. From the Late Triassic, this 85-foot ichthyosaur was a voracious predator akin to an orca, meaning

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26:26

Baryonyx, the Heavy Claw

Paleo Bites ·

2024/06/11

(image source: https://252mya.com/products/baryonyx-walkeri-stock-photo) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Baryonyx, a paramount piscivorous predator with crocodile-like jaws and two very big claws. Yeah, this show can be poetic sometimes. From the Early Cretaceous, this 28-foot spinosaurid theropod has had some high profile appearances in popular culture that have been quite controversial in the paleo community, such as in a famous blockbuster series where it had a few

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25:49

Martharaptor, the Thief of Martha Hayden

Paleo Bites ·

2024/06/04

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/cisiopurple/art/Martharaptor-760488972) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Martharaptor, a lovely creature with a pot belly and long fingernails, kind of like my great aunt Martha. She makes some great cookies, I gotta say. And brownies. Duuuude. From the Early Cretaceous, this 14-foot therizinosaurid was one of the earliest members of its family in North America and closely related to Nothronychus, another one of these dino buggers

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26:32

Lythronax, the Gore King

Paleo Bites ·

2024/05/28

(image source: https://naturerules1.fandom.com/wiki/Lythronax) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Lythronax, a potential contender for one of the edgiest genus names of any dinosaur, right up there with Dynamoterror and Atrociraptor. It’s not enough for these dinosaurs to be scary in appearance; their names have to sound scary too! Gore King! Aaagh! From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot tyrannosaurid’s biggest appearance in pop-culture is probably the Nintendo DS game Fossil

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30:14

Dsungaripterus, the Wing of Junggar Basin

Paleo Bites ·

2024/05/21

(image source: https://www.pteros.com/pterosaurs/dsungaripterus.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Dsungaripterus, a pterosaur that by God Almighty looks like a mouthful to pronounce. SUN-ga-RIP-turr-US. There, I just saved you a lot of time and energy. You’re welcome. From the Early Cretaceous, this 16-foot ornithocheiroid had a really rocking piece of headgear and a mouth that pointed upward, kind of like me when getting mead poured in my mouth by the tavern maids at

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23:03

Sarcosuchus, the Flesh Crocodile

Paleo Bites ·

2024/05/14

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Sarcosuchus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Sarcosuchus, one of the biggest crocodilians in the fossil record that lived alongside some big hitters like Spinosaurus, Carcharodontosaurus, and Suchomimus. Oh, and also a giant sawshark. A truly terrifying swamp, that was. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 38-foot crocodylomorph ate any poor herbivorous dinosaurs that dared to trespass its swamp. Hey, Ouranosaurus, wanna cross the

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29:21

Glacialisaurus, the Frozen Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2024/05/07

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Glacialisaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Glacialisaurus, another dinosaur from Antarctica that lived alongside Cryolophosaurus and ate ferns and such. It’s a basic leaf-eating dinosaur, what more do you want from it? From the Early Jurassic, this 20-foot sauropodomorph lived millions of years before its hot and lush homeland became a frozen wasteland. How would you react if the land you lived in was only millions of

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10:01

Tyrannasorus rex, the Tyrannical Hump King

Paleo Bites ·

2024/04/30

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyrannasorus_rex) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Tyrannasorus rex, a real PUNK’d of an animal by being just a plain-ass beetle named after the most fearsome dinosaur ever. Paleontologists have too much fun sometimes. Someone should rein them in. From the Miocene epoch, this 1-inch beetle was, well, a beetle. You ever seen a beetle? Then you’ve seen Tyrannasorus rex. They’re all the same. You don’t make up over half of all

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26:34

Sauroposeidon, the Lizard of the Earthquake God

Paleo Bites ·

2024/04/23

(image source: https://jurassicpark.fandom.com/wiki/Sauroposeidon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Sauroposeidon, an abso-giganto-freaking-mongus dinosaur and the state dinosaur of Texas, because they like everything big down there. They ain't compensatin' for nuthin’, those durn cowboys. From the Early Cretaceous, this 70-foot macronarian sauropod lived alongside some heavy hitters like Acrocanthosaurus, Deinonychus, and Sauropelta, all of which we’ve covered on this

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23:52

Fasolasuchus, the Crocodile of Tomas Fasola

Paleo Bites ·

2024/04/16

(image source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/triassic-bites-and-a-carnivore-conundrum) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Fasolasuchus, the biggest terrestrial non-dinosaur predator of all time. What a hyper-specific superlative. I bet I’m the biggest human named Matthew that wrote a dinosaur sci-fi series called Megazoic. Except probably not, there’s a lot of Matthews out there. From the Mid Triassic, this 35-foot rauisuchian got a big bit of cinema

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23:21

Alaskacephale, the Head of Alaska

Paleo Bites ·

2024/04/09

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaskacephale)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Alaskacephale, a northern dinosaur that somehow had enough minor differences to escape being lumped into the genus Pachycephalosaurus, but the wildly different and far more spiky Dracorex and Stygimoloch didn’t. Yeah, I’m never letting that go. From the Late Cretaceous, this 8-foot pachycephalosaurid lived alongside the other arctic dinosaurs like Pachyrhinosaurus and Nanuqsaurus,

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23:47

Simosuchus, the Pug-Nosed Crocodile

Paleo Bites ·

2024/04/02

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/583708801714650808/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Simosuchus, an adorable little burrowing critter that despite its herbivory and cuddly appearance was actually an ancient crocodylomorph. I bet its death rolls would be so cute. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot notosuchian lived alongside some big frogs and mammals as well as dinosaurs in their Madagascar home, which sounds nice. I wager they all got along and there were

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311 results

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