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PODCAST

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

Heidi Benjaminsen

Heidi Benjaminsen helps women transform stress into calm, fear into confidence and anxiety into peace when sending their children to college! Listen to hear tips and tools so you can be someone that your child WANTS to call and connect with. Learn more at www.heidibenjaminsen.com!

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

16:46

Ep. 120 Accepting Reality

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/02/02

Every time we think our teen or spouse SHOULDN'T be the way they are, think that life SHOULDN'T have gone the way it did, and WISHING our circumstances were different... we resist accepting reality. Which leaves us powerless to create any future change and feel better. Listen as Heidi walks listeners through several small ways in which we resist accepting reality and how it pushes us backward. Learn how to restate sentences in our brain to SEE life and people as they are, which gives us back our

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38:51

Ep. 119 Connecting with Teens: A Conversation with...

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/01/26

There is a secret to how to connect with our teens that certified life and teen coach Ben Pugh shares in a fantastic conversation with Heidi. Listen as Ben shares that our teens think we've lost hope in them and how to change what we're thinking to feel MORE hope. Learn how to connect with our teens where THEY are and the powerful changes possible in our teens when WE change and anchor our emotions. Ben reinforces the belief that when WE change and anchor our emotions, our teens feel the change and

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24:48

Ep. 118 Staying Out Of Other People's Lanes

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/01/19

We create most of our frustration, stress and worry by taking on problems and trying to control things that are not ours to control. By trying to direct and "drive" the lives of others, we aren't paying careful attention to our own responsibilities and control what we actually CAN control - our life, our responses, our actions and more. Listen as Heidi explains the three lanes of life (our lane, other peoples lanes and God's lane) and offers several questions you can ask yourself to help you feel

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15:14

Ep. 117 Borrowing Belief

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/01/12

One of the ways we can change what we believe is possible for ourselves is to "borrow belief" that others have in us or that others have about what is possible. When we see what others have done, we can choose to believe "it is possible for me to achieve this" or "this person believes I have the potential". Listen as Heidi teaches how to look to others or look to our past achievements to fuel our future changes. Borrowing belief is often the first step to creating a new future.

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22:07

Ep. 116 Becoming

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2022/01/05

At the beginning of the year, I challenge you to focus LESS on the goals you want to achieve and MORE on who you want to BECOME this year. Sure, pick a goal that seems fun. Then who you need to BECOME to achieve this. Listen as Heidi shares how to visualize a River of Becoming that has currents and obstacles in which you will BECOME someone who is committed, determined, patient, vulnerable and more.

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09:01

Ep 115 Anchoring Tool: I Am Feeling

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/12/29

When we're feeling "un-anchored" and out of control emotionally, there is a way to pivot our emotions and "re-anchor" them. Learn as Heidi teaches a tool to get control of our emotions and remind our body that WE are creating what we are feeling (not someone or something else). Listen to episode 115 to hear the importance of what we say after "I am...". because these are the things we attract into our lives.

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11:55

Ep. 114 My Favorite Thoughts 2021

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/12/22

Listen as Heidi shares the thoughts and questions that have anchored her through this year, especially a year full of disagreement and social discord. Learn how to distance our own opinions about how other people are living their life with our own opinions. Each thought and question helps get us back in our own lane and focusing on how we show up. Learn how to reflect back on this year to fuel you to grow in 2022!

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17:37

Ep. 113 Be Here Not There

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/12/15

Sitting in regret of the past or worry and anxiety about the future, robs us from enjoying and experiencing our present. In the holiday season, it's easy to rush to get things done - to think the future will be better than today. Listen as Heidi teaches us tools and questions to get our mind out of "there" and back to "here" and the present. There is beauty and gratitude in the everyday, mundane. The more present we can be in our lives, the more we can improve our overall emotional baseline.

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13:47

Ep. 112 Faulty If-Then Beliefs

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/12/08

Our brains like to make opinions and assumptions like math equations - if this happens (A plus B), then the only result is this (equals C). If my child goes to college, they will be successful. These beliefs serve us well... until they don't. Until we realize life is NOT a math equation. Life is all in the gray area, where we can't see all of the variables at play. Listen as Heidi shares several examples of "faulty if-then" beliefs that we should question. When we figure out what we ultimately want,

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17:25

Ep. 111 Emotions To Bring To Holiday Gatherings

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/12/01

While you're deciding which side dish you'll be bringing to the holiday party, take some time to decide the Emotional Dishes you'll be bringing as well. Let someone else bring stress, criticism and perfectionism - we can bring other emotional vibes. Listen as Heidi shares how to bring Acceptance, Curiosity and Amusement to your holiday gatherings. Learn why these emotions will help you connect with others and thoughts to help create these more useful emotions.

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18:44

Ep. 110 Being Disappointed

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/11/24

Disappointment is what we feel when life (people, events, our circumstances) does not meet our expectations and we feel "displeasure". Learning how to "own" we are creating this emotion and feel disappointment is actually a very powerful tool to anchor us to show up calmly and securely for our children. It's important to let our children feel disappointed (and not try to make them immediately feel better) so they learn how to be emotionally mature humans. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of how

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19:56

Ep. 109 Turning Resentment into Gratitude

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/11/17

Resentment creeps into our life when we think life isn't fair, when things or people shouldn't be how they are or we feel betrayed. Resentment makes us the victim of our lives. Gratitude is the antidote to resentment - we can't feel resentment and gratitude at the same time. Gratitude is a courageous and vulnerable choice we make to take back our emotional control. Listen as Heidi walks listeners through many situations and how to create more gratitude and happiness.

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14:47

Ep. 108 Processing vs Numbing Emotions

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/11/10

Listen as Heidi teaches you the one way to determine if the way we "handle" emotions is healthy processing or unhealthy buffering of emotions. We don't always need to sit and feel for hours on end. We can go for walks, talk to friends, clean closets and more. What we're doing is less the issue. We always want to be considering what RESULT we create from how we handle the emotions. Are we moving FORWARD towards a positive life, or are we creating MORE negative (gain weight, debt, addiction, etc)?

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16:20

Ep. 107 Staying Calm and Anchored

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/11/03

In this personal episode, Heidi shares two examples of managing her emotions, the exact thoughts that kept her anchored and how this impacted her family. In the first example, Heidi's daughter has a real, angry meltdown and Heidi shares how she stayed calm (it was hard!) and the positive consequences of this. In the second example, Heidi shares how she processed negative emotions of shame, vulnerability and sadness. Being able to do both of these things, allows us to show up in complete integrity,

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16:15

Ep. 106 Doing Things We Don't Want To Do

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/10/27

Few people WANT to do laundry, but we all want clean clothes. Few of us WANT to exercise but we all want the benefits of having DONE the exercise. Learning how to do things we don't want to do, learning to do things even if we don't like it is what separates people who achieve goals from those who quit... or don't start at all. Listen as Heidi teaches several mis-perceptions we have about people who do the hard (that they want to... they actually usually don't want to or like the hard) and tips to

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39:01

Ep. 105 Confidence and Sexuality with Dr. Jennifer...

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/10/20

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality therapist, counselor and coach who joins Heidi for a conversation about confidence. They discuss how to acknowledge and own our imperfections, understanding our identity and how our children learn to be confident in their sexuality by watching their parents. Listen as they share their own experiences raising teens and share their own insecurities.

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16:41

Ep. 104 Giving Ourselves Grace

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/10/13

We're hardest on ourselves. We expect perfection, no mistakes, zero flaws, 100 on every test... so we're constantly disappointing our inner selves. Our insides have forgotten we're human and full of cracks, weaknesses and missteps. Learning to see our real human nature and give ourselves grace is our work. It's the work of building confidence to be flawed AND amazing AND loved... all at the same time. Listen as Heidi shares several examples of how she found grace and how you can turn judgement into

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24:04

Ep. 103 Being Wrong

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/10/06

One of the best ways to grow our confidence and build relationships is by learning how to be admit and be "wrong" when we are wrong. Our brain on default always wants to be right to protect our ego but this keeps us small and insecure. Listen as Heidi teaches the dangers of always needing to be "right" and questions to ask ourselves to see where we could be "wrong". Heidi gives many examples from her own life and helps us rewrite the subconscious thought that we're always right. Turns out..

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21:24

Ep. 102 Creating Self-Confidence

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/09/29

The fuel of change and growth is self-confidence, and to create this we need to know how to pivot from insecurity... to confidence... to self-confidence. Confidence looks to the past to what "have" I done in the past, where self-confidence looks to the future to define "who we want to be". Listen as Heidi teaches you two questions to ask yourself (what do I fear and who do I want to be) to move from insecurity... to confidence... to self-confidence.

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21:38

Ep. 101 Drowning Thoughts

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2021/09/22

In 1859, miners who had struck gold drown in the Royal Charter storm because they weighed their pockets and coats with gold to swim to shore. We have thoughts and beliefs that become like this gold - valuable in other situations - but the reason we drown and can't reach shore in life. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of thoughts that can be valuable at times... and can also be drowning thoughts suffocating us from peace. Learn how to learn drop these thoughts to live lighter and be on confident

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