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PODCAST

Middle Children

Jessie Jolles and Chris Burns

Jessie Jolles and Chris Burns aka Fat Carrie Bradshaw didn’t ask to be born as middle children, who would? Born into a life of being desperate for attention, the dynamic duo known mostly for developing a sense of humor as a defense mechanism brings you a show about their favorite thing, themselves. Talking through their endless embarrassing stories, the many famous middle children of the world, and interviewing guests from the oldest of the family, the youngest of the family and everything in

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

60:25

Between Living in Vans and Having An Existential Crisis

Middle Children ·

2023/09/11

Jessie’s visit to the home of a friend with two children lights the fuse for and epic existential crisis. Is any place on earth safe for children? Does community still exist in modern day America? Should Chris and Jessie start a cult? All these questions and more, answered in this week’s action packed episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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00:55:55

Between Living in Vans and Having An Existential Crisis

Middle Children ·

2023/09/11

Jessie’s visit to the home of a friend with two children lights the fuse for and epic existential crisis. Is any place on earth safe for children? Does community still exist in modern day America? Should Chris and Jessie start a cult? All these questions and more, answered in this week’s action packed episode.

en

01:04:06

Between The End of Movie Credits & Crushing Apples

Middle Children ·

2023/09/04

With the extinction of fun movie credit openings, Chris and Jessie discuss how they would start the movies they will be starring in. Jessie explains her plan to fix streaming, and Chris reveals his nit picks of “Schitts Creek”. Later we present to you a very jolly Hallmark filled with performers on the run in the little town within the town of Albany, NY.

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68:51

Between The End of Movie Credits & Crushing Apples

Middle Children ·

2023/09/04

With the extinction of fun movie credit openings, Chris and Jessie discuss how they would start the movies they will be starring in. Jessie explains her plan to fix streaming, and Chris reveals his nit picks of “Schitts Creek”. Later we present to you a very jolly Hallmark filled with performers on the run in the little town within the town of Albany, NY. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

72:50

Between Hating Hot Tubs and Re-marketing Milk

Middle Children ·

2023/08/28

Jessie gets ready to push out of her comfort zone as she prepares for her first ever pole dancing class. Chris loves the concept of sex, but he can’t figure out why people like baths or hot tubs. Later we dial things back and simmer down with a wholesome rural Hallmark where we set out to save a million trees and a couple of hot farmers who’s business is being crushed by the non dairy craze. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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75:30

Between Unlikely Movie Recs & Selling Swatches

Middle Children ·

2023/08/21

What can we really say about steakhouses that are also a speakeasy? Necessary? Not likely. Chris tells the tale of his secret steakhouse adventure and admits to being knee deep in a rewatch of the “Fast and The Furious” franchise while Jessie has a fun interaction at the coffee shop initiated by her fun breakfast jewelry. Later we dig into possibly our most suspenseful Hallmark of all time. It has it all, secret identities, hot guys with big forearms on the farm, and high stakes strategies to sell

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44:42

Between Puffy Eyes & Voice Recordings

Middle Children ·

2023/08/14

Jessie has a puffy eye, oh no! Chris is officially a Rumblehead, and we humble brag about working out. Does anyone actually like urgent care? We discuss dating app weirdness, Chris has been buying new furniture, new home = new him. We close with a gym vent including our opinions on short trainers. Big announcement coming soon!!! Episode 150 next! Have you checked out patreon.com/middlechildren for more? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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45:04

Between Being Financial Gurus & Hashing Out School...

Middle Children ·

2023/08/07

We kick this one off with a rich bit. Do thin rich people really have it all? Once we get back into our own personalities Jessie let’s us in on her lonely weekend. Chris has been out of the city reconnecting with nature. We get into a fun conversation reminiscing about high school trauma. Would you like to be part of a heist? Chris went on a deep dive about Ariana Grande, and we close chatting about her. Big month for the Patreon! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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57:06

Between Being Back & Being Back on Track

Middle Children ·

2023/07/31

We’re back, with lots to share! Jessie has a new relationship status and took Winnie to the vet (you go girl), Chris has been traveling and has a question: How do you feel about liars? After discussion we hop into a Hallmark since it’s been forevaaa: Love Is Wild, a silly veterinary adventure similar to Tiger King but more ethical!! July flew by and we know it. We're getting back into the swing of things, big August plans for the Patreon y'all. Thank you! Love you! Learn more about your ad

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43:48

Between Beach Vacations & Being Haunted

Middle Children ·

2023/06/26

We’re back! Chris is a lil bit sick, but has been busy trying to look great for Spain. Jessie’s family beach trip was a success! She loved the dynamic with her family, and it get us talking about the right way to make plans on vacation. Winnie is still avoiding the nail clippers, and Jessie’s watching a new Showtime show about scammers. Have you ever thought about joining an MLM business? Do you believe people can be haunted? Patreon for all the extras! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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53:54

Between Reality TV Blunders & Furniture Stores

Middle Children ·

2023/06/12

Has anyone ever thrown shade at you for singing? How do you feel about seagulls? Jessie is going on her family beach trip and bringing Tim! Chris just booked tickets to go to Spain for a beach trip too! We get into another Hallmark, this one is all about reality TV with all the usual humor. WE LOVE YOU ALL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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50:12

Between Bloomingdales Blues & Learning to Tailor

Middle Children ·

2023/06/05

Chafing season has arrived! Jessie wants to buy $1000 pants, Chris talks her out of it. All the new pants are low-rise anyways, how ridiculous! Jessie went shopping and Chris lets us in on how he feels about the stores she mentions. Do you agree prices are insane right now? We go over our retail gripes but make it funny. Do you have a good mattress recommendation for us? Have you joined the Patreon? Gearing up for a great summer of content over here! www.patreon.com/middlechildren. Learn more about

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48:18

Between Mommunes & Being Landlords

Middle Children ·

2023/05/22

This great team is back! We chat about our summer plans, haunted hay rides, mommunes, communes and so much more in this one! We share how we want to live on the land and then catch up about Vanderpump Rules, what did you think about the finale? Chris got an air fryer, it has changed the game in his kitchen. We love a conversation episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

51:24

Between Doctors Without Borders & Brain Transplants

Middle Children ·

2023/05/15

Otis is sick with kennel cough, aw poor babe. Jessie hates going to the doctor but she powered through it! Do you have health insurance? This conversation leads us into a Hallmark about surgery: Doctors With Borders, we love getting to escape reality with you. Have you joined the Facebook group? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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42:08

Between Running from Hail & Basic Brunchers

Middle Children ·

2023/05/08

Chris’ birthday weekend in Denver went swell. His Red Rocks experience included hail, and he went to the aquarium! Jessie did end up going to karaoke with an open bar, guess what she sang? Have you watched Jury Duty yet? Chris watched the new Scream movie and is inspired to create a slasher. Jessie shares her brunch plans, and we close on a discussion about Improv and its impact on our lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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39:34

Between Having Perfect Pitch & Becoming GOT Girlies

Middle Children ·

2023/05/01

We kick this one off competing for no reason. Chris is traveling to Denver, and heading to a concert at Red Rocks to kick off his birthday weekend. Jessie’s morning started rough… Winnie had to get her nails cut. We’ve been working out and Jessie saw someone from her past at Orange Theory. Can Jessie become a GOT girlie? Patreon! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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45:16

Between TSA Psychos & Going Down Under

Middle Children ·

2023/04/24

Chris tells us about his TSA troubles, and how he prevailed in moments of chaos during the reunion party he hosted last week. Jessie has been doing well and kicks us off into another character building Hallmark: Claudia and Cliffy VanHuffington are back and in action people! Join ‘Stuck In The Middle’ on Facebook to join the community? https://www.facebook.com/groups/722387715256890/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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40:00

Between Shallow LA & Terrible Dressing Rooms

Middle Children ·

2023/04/17

Chris is hosting the Love Is Blind reunion party! Jessie’s eye is swelling up but she’s making it through. We catch up about what we have going on, Chris shares info about a Bumble encounter, we discuss travel plans, Los Angeles, and much more. Jessie has been thrifting and finding all the finds, the travel to Brooklyn left her exhausted though. Tune in next week for Chris’ recap of his evening at the party. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

43:28

Between Mood Swings & Witch Worlds

Middle Children ·

2023/04/10

Greetings from the Himalayas. Do you wear Ugg boots? Chris is traveling and questioning Ugg’s manufacturing process, Jessie recently got back from Florida and her throat closed up. Spring is here! We finally pop into a Hallmark moment, Witches Of Sea-Salem: a behind the scenes peek as well as a sequel to our city witches movie a few weeks ago. We did the best we could okay!? Patreon??? Happy 3 years of episodes, go back and listen to some old ones for us!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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42:48

Between Clown Manicures & Party Poopers

Middle Children ·

2023/03/27

Jessie got a manicure and we’re not so sure about it. Her sister is getting married: so we chat about the dress shopping, Jessie’s outfit for the event, as well as her upcoming travel plans. We discuss our party preferences, and find out how different our party expectations are. How long has it been since you’ve been to a good party? The Inn we would own would have extravagant parties, so Jessie makes it a must that she will throw a party this year! Come on over to www.patreon.com/middlechildren for

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