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PODCAST

The Secure Husband

M. Bruce Abbott, M.A, CPC

A Secure Husband no longer seeks validation from his wife—he stands strong in self-worth, meets his own emotional needs, and leads with confidence and clarity. I’ve been where you are, and I’m here to help you break free from old patterns, reclaim your strength, and transform your marriage from the inside out.

education self-improvement

All Episodes

20:24

The First Step to Becoming Secure — Step One:...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/06/19

Most husbands feel lost when their wife pulls away, shuts down, or shows no affection. The first reaction is usually to fix it, explain it, or control it. But real change starts somewhere else.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, you’ll learn the first step to becoming a steady, calm, emotionally secure husband: choosing curiosity over control. This simple shift helps you stop reacting and start leading — not by forcing change, but by understanding what’s happening inside of you

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9:45

How Secure Husbands Handle Disrespect

The Secure Husband ·

2025/06/17

If your wife talks down to you, mocks you, or shuts you out — you may feel angry, helpless, or ready to explode. But reacting to disrespect with more disrespect does not fix anything. It only creates more distance.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, you’ll learn how to handle disrespect without losing control. You’ll stop overreacting. You’ll stop shutting down. And you’ll learn how to lead yourself with calm, clear strength — even when her words sting.What You’ll Learn in This

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9:53

Self-Sacrifice Is Not Love: Why People-Pleasing...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/06/15

If you stay quiet, give her what she wants, and ignore your needs… will that make your marriage stronger? No. It makes you disappear.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain why self-sacrifice is not the same as love. People-pleasing feels like you’re doing the right thing — but it’s actually hurting your marriage.You’ll learn why trying to keep the peace often causes more distance. And you’ll discover how to stop giving to get — and start leading with truth, calm, and real

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7:36

Stop Trying to Control the Uncontrollable in Your...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/06/13

You can’t control your wife.You can’t control her mood, her actions, or how she feels.But you can control yourself. And that changes everything.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we talk about why men try to control what they can’t — and how it slowly destroys connection, peace, and love.This is for the man who feels stuck.For the man who keeps chasing love, affection, and attention — only to feel rejected or ignored.And for the man who is ready to stop forcing and start

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7:48

I Married the First Woman Who Gave Me Attention

The Secure Husband ·

2025/06/11

You didn’t choose her because you were sure.You chose her because she saw you.And in that moment, it felt like everything you ever wanted.This episode of The Secure Husband Podcast speaks to the man who just realized:“I married the first woman who gave me attention.”You are not alone.You are not broken.You were starved for love — and you settled for a crumb.But now? You’re waking up. And that changes everything.What you’ll learn in this episode:✅ Why emotional hunger leads to fast

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10:52

Preoccupied-Avoidant Attraction: Why You Were Drawn...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/06/09

You wanted closeness. She needed space.You chased love. She pulled away.Now you feel stuck — and you don’t know why.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain why anxious (preoccupied) men and avoidant women are often drawn to each other. And why that spark you felt in the beginning now feels like pain.What you'll learn:✅ Why you were drawn to her emotional distance✅ Why she felt safe choosing someone like you✅ How your attachment styles locked you both in a painful loop✅ Why

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13:00

Do Secure Husbands Stay With Avoidant Attachment Wives?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/06/07

Your wife shuts down when you open up.She pulls away when things get close.You feel like you’re always chasing her attention.And now you’re asking:“Is this what love is supposed to feel like?”In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain why emotionally secure men stop chasing women who are avoidant and unavailable — and what to do if you're stuck in that cycle.You’ll learn:✅ What avoidant attachment looks like in marriage✅ Why insecure men feel drawn to distant women✅ How to

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7:33

What If I Do All This Work...And Nothing Changes?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/06/05

You’ve stayed calm.You’ve stopped chasing.You’ve led your emotions instead of reacting.But your wife still feels cold.She still doesn’t respond.And now you’re wondering…“What if I’m doing all this work, and nothing ever changes?”This episode of The Secure Husband Podcast answers that question.It’s for the man who is growing, healing, and leading — but still feels alone.In this episode, you’ll learn:✅ Why your growth still matters, even if she doesn’t notice✅ How to stop doing the work just

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10:02

Expectations and Her Responsive Desire

The Secure Husband ·

2025/06/03

You think your wife doesn’t want you anymore.She never starts sex.She’s not like she used to be.So you feel rejected, confused, and hurt.But what if there’s nothing wrong with her — or you?What if she simply experiences desire differently?In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire. Most men feel desire first. Most women feel desire after connection, safety, or emotional closeness.You’ll learn:✅ The two types of

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7:41

Never Threaten Open Marriage To Guilt Her Into Sex

The Secure Husband ·

2025/06/01

Have you ever said, “Maybe we should open the marriage,” hoping to make your wife feel guilty?Or maybe you’ve said, “I guess I’ll just find someone else who wants me.”If so, this video is for you.These comments don’t build connection. They break trust.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain why these threats always backfire — and what to do instead.You’ll learn:✅ Why most men don’t actually want an open marriage✅ What’s really behind these threats✅ How to stop leading with

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8:52

Handling Starfish Sex in The Moment

The Secure Husband ·

2025/05/30

You finally have sex with your wife… but she’s quiet. Still. Emotionally checked out.You wonder:“Does she even want me?”“Is this pity sex?”“Why does this feel worse than no sex at all?”In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we talk about what to do in that exact moment — when sex feels disconnected, and your mind starts to spiral.You’ll learn:✅ Why this hurts more than you expect✅ What triggers the shame, anger, or sadness✅ How to stop letting this moment define your worth✅ How to

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9:06

Stop Escaping Into Fantasy and Start Healing Your...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/05/28

Do you keep escaping into porn, fantasy, or daydreams about someone else when your marriage feels distant or disconnected?You’re not alone.But those escapes — while they feel good for a moment — are quietly making things worse.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we’ll show you how to stop numbing your pain and start healing your marriage, your mind, and your manhood.In this video, you’ll learn:✅ Why porn and fantasy are signs of deeper pain✅ What you’re really trying to avoid✅

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10:24

Jealousy: Is This Real or Just Insecurity?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/05/26

Do you feel jealous when your wife smiles at another man?Or when she laughs at her phone and it’s not a text from you?Does your mind go to:“Is she pulling away?”“Is there someone else?”“Am I being replaced?”You’re not crazy.You’re not weak.But you may be reacting from insecurity — not truth.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we talk about what jealousy really is, how to know if it’s real or just fear, and what to do about it.What you’ll learn in this video:✅ What jealousy

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9:42

Why She Isn't Into Sex As Much As You Are.

The Secure Husband ·

2025/05/24

You want sex. She doesn’t.You feel confused, rejected, and maybe even ashamed.You wonder:“Why doesn’t she want me like I want her?”“Is something wrong with me… or her?”In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain what’s really going on when your wife isn’t as interested in sex — and why it doesn’t mean she’s broken or you’re not enough.Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:✅ Why men and women experience sex differently✅ How stress and hormones affect your wife’s desire✅ Why

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11:10

The Problem With Giving To Get: Unspoken Deals That...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/05/22

You do something nice.You help around the house.You give a compliment or say “I love you.”But deep down, you’re hoping she gives something back — maybe sex, affection, or appreciation.That’s called giving to get, and it’s ruining your connection.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we break down:What “giving to get” really meansWhy your wife feels confused or pressuredHow to stop scorekeeping and start leading with honestyWhy hidden expectations are hurting your marriageIn this

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9:24

Stop Guilt-Tripping Her About Sex — It’s Not Bringing...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/05/20

If you’ve ever said:“Why don’t you want me?”“You never initiate anymore.”“You’d have sex with me if you really loved me…”This episode is for you.Guilt does not create intimacy. It creates pressure.And pressure pushes her away — every single time.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explain why guilt never works, what’s really going on underneath your words, and how to build real connection without using shame, blame, or emotional pressure.This video will help you:✅ Understand

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8:35

Self Love is Not Selfish Nor Narcissistic

The Secure Husband ·

2025/05/18

You’ve been told real men always sacrifice. That setting boundaries is cold. That taking care of yourself is selfish.But here’s the truth:Self love is not selfish. Self love is not narcissistic. Self love is strength.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we unpack a lie many men were raised to believe — that putting yourself first means you're doing something wrong. You’ll learn why loving yourself is actually the most loving thing you can do for your marriage.This video will help

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9:52

Different Woman, Same Wounds: Why the Next...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/05/16

Thinking about starting over with someone new?Feeling tired, disconnected, or done with your marriage?This episode is your wake-up call.In today’s video, we talk about a truth most men miss:👉 You can leave your marriage...👉 You can find someone new who laughs at your jokes and wants you again...👉 But if you don’t heal your inner wounds — the next relationship will end up just like this one.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, you’ll learn:✅ Why the next woman feels so good — at

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9:15

You May Be Able to Live Without Affection, But I Can't

The Secure Husband ·

2025/05/14

If you feel starved without touch… you’re not weak.You’re human.This episode of The Secure Husband Podcast is for the man who feels like he can’t live without affection. You feel the pain of not being hugged, held, or touched — and it’s starting to feel like you’re falling apart.In this video, we break down:Why affection is a real, valid need — not a weaknessWhen craving touch becomes emotional survivalHow to stop letting her affection define your worthWhat to do when she pulls away and you

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8:51

Yes, You're Each 100% Responsible for Your Own...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/05/13

You are the only one in charge of your happiness.But your energy still shapes your marriage every single day.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we break down the truth that many men miss:You can’t make your wife happy — but your words, actions, and attitude affect her deeply.When you lead yourself with strength, peace, and purpose…You create an emotional space where love, trust, and joy can grow again.👊 In this video, you’ll learn:Why chasing her affection kills connectionHow

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127 results

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