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PODCAST

The Chris Abraham Show

tl:dr: Just a 55-year-old cisgender white male mansplaining his own self-importance. But good. Full Summary: The musings of Chris Abraham as he aspires to know the world and himself while getting healthy, losing weight, becoming fit, and running his small business while living in South Arlington, Virginia. Walk with him a while and see what"s up.

comedy

All Episodes

00:10:13

Wag the Vanguard

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/17

There is a curious bravery in staying quiet. A paradox of power in invisibility. In the theater of reform, those who script the act are rarely the ones who survive its performance. We have, on one side, the conceptual vanguard—architects of utopia, fluent in white paper and panel discussion. On the other, the vulgarian proletariat, kinetic and uncontainable, arriving late to the table and eating with their hands.This friction—between design and deployment, theory and practice—is not a glitch. It’s

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00:09:38

Il n’y a pas de hors-texte

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/16

There Is Nothing Outside the Text: Poppy, Derrida, and the White Cube Where I’ve Lived My Entire Working LifeI am 55 years old, and I was today years old when I finally grasped what should have been obvious the moment I read Of Grammatology at 19: my entire career — every late-night site map, every Google Business profile, every crisis press release, every SEO audit, every mercenary ORM gig — has been a direct, living enactment of Derrida’s maxim: Il n’y a pas de hors-texte. There is nothing outside

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00:30:04

FAFO: When the Speech Stops Saving You

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/12

Real Violence Waits for No One’s SpeechPeople raised in safe places believe every fight has a referee. They think there will be time to puff up, to circle, to monologue like a Bond villain or a protest poet. They believe words can protect them from what happens when fear becomes action. But real violence is not a schoolyard. It is not a protest with polite arrests. It is not an argument online. Real violence moves first, strikes without ceremony, and leaves no room for your big speech.For a long

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00:23:48

Live Free or Zoo

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/11

A meme flickered across feeds this week: South Carolina stacked up against California like a balance sheet for how well you can cage chaos. Homicide rates, GDP, life expectancy — by each measure California shines as the model: safer, wealthier, longer-lived. South Carolina looks rougher, poorer, more violent, a reminder that for some Americans, freedom means a shorter, riskier life. Beneath the numbers, the line: “Don’t California my South Carolina.” It’s more than a bumper sticker. It’s the oldest

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00:35:24

Remember the DC Madam? Rhymes with Epstein

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/11

Same Swamp, Different BroodThe DC Madam & the Secret That Still HumsClose your eyes: DC, late ‘90s into the 2000s. Suits at the Mayflower, steakhouse hush-hush deals on K Street, the kind of power that smells like dry-cleaned wool, stale cigars, and cheap cologne. There was no Tinder. No casual fling on a swipe. If you wanted vice, you went through the shadows — or you called Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the DC Madam.She didn’t run some back-alley hustle. Pamela Martin & Associates was an escort

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00:22:17

American Welfare Fatigue

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/10

It is often said that every modern welfare system, from the Roman grain dole to the SNAP card at the grocery store, carries the seeds of its own discontent. These systems promise that the collective will carry the burdens of the vulnerable. But they are haunted by a tension older than any bureaucracy: the uneasy craving to see helplessness displayed. To give freely feels good; but to give freely to someone who does not look sufficiently broken or scraping is to stir a resentment no modern slogan can

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00:18:04

When the Board Turns Red

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/10

Why Surrender Is Still the Only EndgameThere’s a brutal truth people forget when they throw around words like genocide, war crimes, ethnic cleansing. Those words do mean something — but they lose meaning when they’re wielded like hashtags during an ongoing shooting war. Once you’re in the fight, the moral shield only works when you put the knife down.War is chess with live ammunition. You have pieces, you have power, you have moves that escalate. The moment you advance a pawn, you’ve agreed to the

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00:24:27

Flushing Grouse: The Machine Doesn’t Care Who You Are

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/10

A quiet bird can’t be shot. A hidden fish can’t be netted. A calm suspect cannot be tagged and fed into the system. This is older than any badge or slogan. Force survives by flushing what hides, tagging what flushes, and feeding on what shows itself. Everything else is theater.Any enforcement system needs visible prey. No visible crime or defiance means the budget shrinks and the dogs stay in the kennel. But a pond stocked with performative rage and careless bravado keeps the hunters fed. That’s why

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00:30:58

Session Thirteen: Bones, Dolls, and the Wolves in the...

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/09

Date: June 29, 2025Players: Sean D. (Sören Ironwood – Aasimar Paladin), Chris (Radley – Human Fighter), Carey (Traxidor – Half-Elf Cleric), Trip (Daermon Cobain – Half-Elf Rogue)Filed Under: Curse of Strahd, Gothic Horror, D&D RecapsTwelve days in Barovia and each dawn feels like dusk. At the Blue Water Inn, a messenger arrived with a letter sealed in wax — Strahd von Zarovich’s invitation to dine at Castle Ravenloft. Radley, their sardonic Eldritch Knight, joked about wine with the Devil

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00:30:40

All Your Camp Are Belong to U.S.

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/09

In “Will We Tolerate Concentration Camps and Slave Labor?”, Steven Beschloss warns that America may be on the verge of something monstrous: mass deportations, labor camps, and forced work that echoes the worst shadows of our history. But the real horror is simpler: these camps already exist. They never went away. And they’re not some accidental glitch of the system — they are the system.The truth is that the U.S. economy has always needed an underclass it could threaten, cage, or bind in debt. The

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00:39:48

What a Police Officer Is—and Is Not: A Field Note

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/09

So much modern talk about policing rests on a wish: that the officer showing up at your worst moment is a hybrid — therapist, social worker, priest, and protector — who can fix every chaotic life story with infinite patience. But the reality is older, harsher, and simpler: the officer is a guard dog, not a Saint Bernard with a cask of mercy.The old “beat cop” we romanticize — the Irish Bobby tipping his hat on a city stoop — was never your confessor. He was there to keep the reckless few from

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00:37:37

Zeus the Trump: The American Thunder God

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/09

How America’s Godless Made a Thunder God Out of a Mortal ClownI saw someone on Reddit shrug: “The thing is, he’s actually responsible for stuff. He’s the president.”And that’s it, isn’t it? In a country that once thought presidents were just men in suits, we’ve built one who rains bunker-buster thunderbolts like Zeus. Not by accident — by hunger. By a god-shaped hole in a nation that told itself it didn’t need a god at all.It started as a joke. A clown descends the golden escalator — half Golem,

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00:29:28

A Trump-Shaped Hole

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/08

There’s an ancient fear that always asks: Who did this? Who angered the gods? When storms crush fields or floods drown children at camp, our ancestors blamed Ba’al, Moloch, Ra — anything to put a face on chaos.Modern Americans pretend we’ve outgrown this. We trust policy, science, data. But scratch the surface and the eclipse fear is still there, buried under hashtags and TED Talks. And the moment the river rises, the blame returns: “Trump did this.”When a wall of water smashed Hill Country, the

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00:39:39

Invisibly Fenced

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/06

Every protest sign you’ve ever waved, every petty theft you bragged about, every mask you wore — it’s all been scraped up, timestamped, and tucked in a file with your name on it. Doesn’t matter if you called it civil disobedience, harmless rebellion, or just youthful stupidity. You were noticed. America’s surveillance state isn’t a guard tower and barbed wire; it’s a mansion rigged like Willy Wonka’s factory — a candy-colored panopticon of bait and hidden cameras. The real prize isn’t catching you

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00:28:08

Two Sides of the Same Coin

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/06

When Silicon Valley and the CCP Start Speaking the Same LanguageLet’s get real: the world’s two most powerful nations are building surveillance societies. The United States, under a new breed of techno-ideologues, is quietly constructing a digital control system that mirrors—sometimes eerily—the one perfected by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). Pull back the curtain and you see the same machinery: data, algorithms, and the relentless drive to know, score, and shape every citizen. The difference

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00:35:15

Supermodels vs. AI Dolls: Brave Girls, Real Risk

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/06

TED Radio Hour: The State of FashionTED Radio Hour: Supermodel Cameron Russell says she helped a 'grotesque industry' look beautifulI listened to Cameron Russell on NPR’s TED Radio Hour talking about her memoir — how she was scouted as a teenager, how she tolerated “grotesque” things: the S&M vibe, the creepy photographers, the being called “jailbait” at 16. She calls it what it is — an industry built to sell the male gaze, profit off young women’s bodies, and spit them out later.My

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00:27:43

Trump the Carnival Brawler

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/06

The Trickster as 47th President by Chris AbrahamDonald Trump was always easy to sneer at. He was a tabloid punchline long before he was the gold-plated game show boss my mother adored. The Apprentice was her favorite. I rolled my eyes. He was tacky, vulgar — a human golden toilet. We told ourselves he’d never be more than that. Yet here we are: he’s the 47th President of the United States. The only non-consecutive two-termer since Grover Cleveland. But Cleveland never danced to the Village People’s

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00:10:33

Declaration of Interdependence

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/04

What We Forget When We Remember OurselvesEvery Fourth of July I get this itch — not to dunk on the country I love, but to scratch at the paint and see what’s underneath. To lift the floorboards, find the roaches, and point out that this grand old house we celebrate didn’t get built by one guy with a hammer.The American story is the greatest solo act ever told. Lone hero, lone cowboy, lone genius. We love it. We teach it in schools, we wrap it around our boots and our beers. Independence Day itself

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00:20:23

Big Beautiful Bunker Buster Bill

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/04

It’s the Fourth of July and Congress just crammed through the Big Beautiful Bunker Buster Bill — 870 pages of fences and tax cuts, border walls and missile domes, detention dollars and pork for the same contractors that keep the monster fed. Some people scream it’s our Declaration of Independence from decline. Others swear it’s Auschwitz 2.0 with better branding. Maybe it’s both, maybe it’s neither. Because none of this started with Trump — he’s just the cold sore on America’s lip. The infection was

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00:11:40

America’s Black Market Democratic Socialism

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/07/02

The Secret Safety Net We Pretend Doesn’t ExistAmerica has never honestly voted itself into European-style democratic socialism — and that’s the simple truth nobody wants to say first. For almost a century, at least 70% of American voters have reflexively voted against the idea that your tax dollars should openly pay for an untouchable, codified social safety net at home. There’s an almost spiritual belief here that the working and middle class are “generators,” and that real democratic socialism

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