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PODCAST

Composed

Chase Bernstein

Chase Bernstein tackles the minutiae of everyday life through a stream of consciousness filled bursting with humor, subtlety and passion.

comedy stand-up

All Episodes

39:51

Dear Having To Hold Stuff While You Walk

Composed ·

2022/05/31

100%... the amount of energy i'm giving to episode 77. 43%... the amount CVS is giving me off one item of my choice. All that, plus: an eyelash curler emergency, an emotional plant purchase, and several chaotic parking meter instances. You're welcome.

en

47:13

Dear People Who Park At A Meter Even Though There's...

Composed ·

2022/05/24

After a brief hiatus, zero time is wasted getting back into sizzling topics such as: the parking situation at my old stomping grounds aka pop physique, and getting a spray tan in Glendale. Something to keep in mind during episode 76... I'm on one.

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30:30

Live From The W Hotel For Netflix Is A Joke: The...

Composed ·

2022/05/03

Reporting live from the W Hotel in Hollywood with a headset mic and I've never felt more alive. It's May 1st and I've already found the strength to do a live swag bag unboxing in a black tube top, as well as escort myself to Pavilions with wet hair. "Shoot for the stars, so if you fall... you land on the rooftop of the W Hotel recording a live podcast for Netflix Is A Joke: The Festival, surrounded by one guy named Jake and two named John." Electric.

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34:53

Live From My Mom's House Interlude

Composed ·

2022/04/26

Happy birthday to the twins I went to Hebrew school with. The story behind one of my most risqué journalism pieces. Construction at my mom's house. Juice, and my impression of Amanda Seyfried's impression of Elizabeth Holmes. Unlike the container store- episode 74 cannot be contained.

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41:46

Dear The Tofu I Bought But Ultimately Never Made

Composed ·

2022/04/19

My CVS coupons are BACK. Plus- a new shelf situates itself in my life, what to do with free time, the NBA playoffs, the concept of being a chemist... all discussed while my hair is peaking and my leg hurts. Episode 73!

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34:27

Dear Wordle

Composed ·

2022/04/12

I find the best episodes are recorded fresh off a stint in Cabo, and episode 72 is no exception. A new plantain chip enters the arena, the concept of starting a new book before you've finished the one you're reading absolutely barrels into the chat. Accidentally free form rock climbing as well as nightly planks, I mean wow- this episode is reminiscent of the crust at Domino's... stuffed.

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36:57

Dear Driving At Night

Composed ·

2022/03/29

Episode 71 comes in pouring... rain. A trying time at the Kreation buy one get one event nearly sends me over the edge but luckily I'm able to grab onto the ledge of the cliff with one hand and hoist myself back onto steady ground. Phew. Plus- not using carts at the grocery store, doing opposites... honestly nothing I type in this box could ever communicate the electricity that is episode 71.

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33:52

Dear People Who Turn Down An Offer To Have Their Seat...

Composed ·

2022/03/22

Episode 70 finds us stranded in the desert sans chapstick, as well as on the phone with Supercuts... nothing short of a banger.

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69:11

Fruit w/ Billy Scafuri

Composed ·

2022/03/15

Cancel every plan you've ever had- an earth shattering round of Three Up, Three Down is afoot.

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36:14

Dear Foamy Hand Soap

Composed ·

2022/03/08

Episode 68 finds us back at the Honda Service Center where tensions and oil are running high. Doesn't really make sense but also, you get it. As if that's not enough- water fountains and unnecessary umbrellas are touched upon. Call the lord and tell him to take the day off... because I'm doing his work.

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55:21

A Walk Around The Reservoir w/ Lizzy Ann Cooperman

Composed ·

2022/03/01

Lizzy Ann Cooperman graces the studio armed with nothing but her natural charisma, where together, she and Chase recount the heroic journey that has been their experience with the Hollywood Reservoir. If you're looking for an upright stone i'm afraid you won't find one... because they were all left unturned.

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29:45

San Diego Interlude

Composed ·

2022/02/22

The perils of packing, a rogue Michelada, a braided bun (an award winning haiku as well as the description for episode 66)

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37:14

Dear Listerine Strips

Composed ·

2022/02/15

An overdue campaign against Altoids. A controversial take on Cheer. Panic attacks at the Rose Bowl flea market. The Super Bowl. Say what you will about episode 65 but at the end of the day it's not lacking in bowls...

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52:10

Signature Scents w/ Josh Martin

Composed ·

2022/02/08

"Oh wow, that smells phenomenal... what are you cooking up?" - You "Oh this? It's episode 64 with comedian Josh Martin, and it's ready to serve." - Me

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37:43

Live Shoe Unboxing

Composed ·

2022/02/01

Episode 63 is alive and well with the wherewithal to tackle captivating topics such as but not limited to: Orange juice, the Shake Shack app, taking pictures when you don't want to. A mid episode postal delivery paves the way for a live unboxing the likes of which the airwaves have never experienced. Enchanté February... Enchanté.

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40:05

Dear Days That Start Out Rainy But Turn Sunny

Composed ·

2022/01/25

Disrespecting the Big 5 parking lot, the concept of bells chiming on the hour, aprons: Episode 62 didn't come here to make friends... it came here to make soulmates.

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49:09

Dear Dry Shampoo

Composed ·

2022/01/18

Chase fantasizes about being a restaurant owner in Miami, the stigma of ordering decaf coffee, a coat update, a much needed slurpee, and a perilous journey with SeatGeek... pray you're fully hydrated for episode 61.

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35:24

Dear Coats/Jackets

Composed ·

2022/01/11

Chase grapples with her lack of outerwear, a stranger's disregard for societal order, and dates (the fruit). .. a fruitful ep indeed.

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32:46

A Very McDonalds Christmas

Composed ·

2022/01/03

Hint- it involves Root Beer, or should I say a lack thereof.

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40:18

Dear Puzzles

Composed ·

2021/12/21

Rubik's cubes, magic eyes, a revolutionary trip to drybar... episode 58 did not come to play.

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157 results

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