PODCAST

Ficta Inferno

Maya Baker

Dramatic readings of terrible fanfictions/fiction from the internet

fiction comedy fiction

All Episodes

02:20:08

Disney Descendants 2: The World of Disney! Part 1 (Oh...

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/01/10

Oh boy we're diving into something we know nothing about, with characters we don't know about, mixed with media that is known about...sort of. It's poorly written, one dimensional OC's do nothing to really paint a picture. Basic names, basic peoples, and a pretty basic story with awful grammar. Good thing it isn't too long.

02:21:21

Marie Finale (Not sponsored by Testacuzzi)

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/01/03

The final part of Marie! Drama is forced down our throats and it all ends before we get an actual proper ending. Jean Frollo shows his true colors, we come up with the perfect crime, and apparently someone though making a jacuzzi for ones ballsack was a good (?) idea.

02:25:15

Hospital Check-In (We don't know what's going on here)

Ficta Inferno ·

2021/01/01

Happy New Year! Also Merry Christmas, and I guess this is the one year anniversary bit wrapped into one! It's been a hectic month, but it all accumulates into this extra long episode for all of you at home. This was a script Siah received back in 2017 and has been a running joke since then. A family gets into an accident and ends up in a hospital that no one checks out. This is stated 50 Million times, and title dropped 50 Million times. We don't really know what the purpose of this is honestly. We

01:26:05

Marie Episode 3 (Finally Sixth Base!)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/12/27

The only interesting thing to note in this is the tooth pain Maya is apparently experiencing. Why does it hurt? What is going on? Gotta wait for the next episode! But onto the actual story, uhh... Marie's parent's are very obsessed with balls and there's even more ripping straight from the direct to VHS movie we still refuse to acknowledge and speak about. Quesadilla finally reaches 6th base without the gargoyles ruining it!

01:05:14

Marie Episode 2 (Bxners everywhere)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/12/20

We continue with the story of Marie and her 'adventures' in Paris so to speak. Jean Frollo is a copy and paste of his brother, somehow the king of France sounds like hedonism bot, and frankly nothing else happens much. Lot of things are still being ripped off from the direct to DVD sequel movie that shall not be mentioned.

01:41:58

Marie Episode 1 (A Hunchback of Notre Dame Fanfic)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/12/13

Out of all the Disney Fanfics, this is the one that we start off with. It's nothing special in particular, a bit strange and boring. Most of the time it's either plague talk or poking fun at character assassination. Three months after the first film, join Marie, whose the daughter of the Duke and Duchess of 'France' since we never get a region. Desperate to live her life the way she wants, she sneaks out and runs into one of Paris' more interesting characters. Meanwhile, a new minister of justice is

01:47:25

Twila: The Girl Who Was in Love With a Vampire (Why...

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/12/07

We have yet another Twilight fan fiction, which is an obvious troll with inspirations from My Immortal. Join Twilia and her five other names on this...thing, where characters are actually slightly more interesting because as we all know, Bella and Edward were the worst part of Twilight.

01:12:41

Sweet Temptations Part 2 (This is the one where they...

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/11/29

Betty is still thirsty, the rest of the family becomes non-existent, and Willy Wonka never goes through any of the life changing character development. Also did anyone else see Willy as a dom? A top? No? Yes? Maybe? I was pretty sure this dude was just going to be a bottom, but here we are fellas! Also life advice coming from people that shouldn't give life advice, us as the narrators.

01:43:26

Sweet Temptations Part 1 (Here it goes again)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/11/22

Wattpad gift's us all with another fresh Hell that is Willy Wonka fan-fiction. Why does it exist? Everyone is into something I guess? Here we have the reader, Betty, that is Charlie's sister accompanying him to the factory instead of dear old grandpa. The story itself is just a bunch of copy-paste dialogue from the movie, with some 'spicy' bits thrown in to be seen as some sort of attraction? It fails as it just becomes weird for this man-child to be hitting on anyone of any age.

00:47:36

I'm Not Okay (We're really not okay)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/11/15

Why are there so many Harry Potter fanfictions that are awful? The same can be said about Twilight honestly, but here we have Raven (a.k.a Willow from My Immortal) and her debut as an...'author'(?). Edgy author-insert is fifteen years older and heading to Hogwarts for the first time. Yes, she starts out in her first year. Yes, we still have bastardizations of cannon characters (at least not the staff) roaming about as well as Cirque du Freak cameos, why this is in there I do not know. Maybe this is

01:46:42

Sonic High School (To continue or not)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/11/08

This one was recorded a few months back, come on and join Sonic and friends as they enter high school. Dealing with ups, downs, and a lot more downs for the readers since this is more than obviously a troll- at least hopefully it is a troll.

01:02:13

Equinox (Another Spooky Story)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/11/01

Veronica's life has been normal and unfeeling, that is until she starts a new hobby-breaking and entering. Through a series of twists and turns she comes across the last thing she'd ever expect to see inside one of the empty homes, a dead body. After the discovery her life will never be the same, affecting not just her but her loved ones.

01:45:17

My Immortal Episode 4 (Why is everyone n*ked!?)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/10/31

We've reached the last installment of My Immortal, and what a ride it was! Absolutely nothing gets resolved! We keep laughing about the dumbest shite and we still have no idea on what is going on! Please enjoy the final installment and our Halloween spooktacular!

00:35:36

Pickman's Model (Spooky Scary Stories)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/10/25

An unnamed narrator expresses to a friend on why he lost contact with a painter by the name of Pickman, as well as going into his reasons for not entering the subway any longer. A short story from H.P Lovecraft and a part of the spooky season cheer to spread around. My Immortal will be continued next weekend.

01:06:30

My Immortal Episode 3 (Trigger warnings, hallway sex,...

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/10/18

We're almost there, we're almost there- the end is near my friends I swear! We find ourselves dealing with new character assassinations and drops as well as the story itself going awry. How will Eboby defeat the Dark Lord? Why are there so many guns in the Wizarding world? Why are so many men still after Egogy's booty!? (She's a mary-sue, duh). The spookiest has yet to come gentle listeners.

01:07:12

My Immortal Episode 2 (How many concerts do we get?)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/10/11

Welcome to episode 2! More misspellings, concerts, and things that just shouldn't be. The author and editor have a falling out over a...poster? and a...sweater? And there's a lot of weird banging, we don't know why it's there, but it's there and it makes us all uncomfortable! Also Enoby just wishes she could just be normal, and like...there's just too many weird things that don't make sense. Find out by giving it a listen!

01:17:07

My Immortal Episode 1 (Fangs, geddit!?!?)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/10/04

To start off the Halloween season, Ficta Inferno presents one of the most notorious fanfictions out there in the world: My Immortal. Eboby is a 17 year old Mary-Sue with a 'dark and terrible' past, that we never hear of, and is head over heels for this fic's version of Draco Malfoy. What's happening? No one is really sure, half of the writing is unintelligible and completely off the walls!

01:49:35

50 Shades Darker (The Movie)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/09/27

We return with the...thing that follows the other thing. It's a movie based off of a book, which was based off of a fanfiction; it's almost two hours long and absolutely nothing happens. Masquerade? It's a failed attempt. Danger? Nope. There's so much that happens, that it feels unimportant and...it just isn't good at all. It's not even so bad it's funny at this point.

02:22:52

50 Shades of Grey (The Movie)

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/09/20

Well, it finally happened. The movie has been watched and here is our play by play about it. Due to the origins of this piece of...fiction, it only seemed suiting for a first on this podcast! With this in the works, we can only wonder what doors this will open for future episodes.

01:46:00

Bad Blood Episode 2 (Will anything happen today?...

Ficta Inferno ·

2020/09/13

As we read further into the crossover that no one asked for, it takes a turn for the worst as it seems to just become a basic retelling of the events of The Walking Dead with some magic thrown in for Deus ex Machina reasons, and to make Harry look like the cool guy even further. Zero shits are given as Harry practices magic in front of mortals and nothing else is heard from anyone else in the magical community. Seriously, how could Hogwarts fall in a situation like this? It's a castle, for Merlin's

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