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PODCAST

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery

Every week, Danny M. Lavery brings on a guest to answer questions from listeners before diving into conversation about relationships, dissatisfaction, drives, regrets, estrangement, embarrassment, self-assessments, and feelings from the monumental to the minute.

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All Episodes

45:37

Lease On Love

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/12/13

Danny Lavery welcomes Ethan Casteel, a software engineer and transgender man about town in Somerville, MA. Lavery and Casteel tackle three letters. First, from someone wondering how to talk to her child about transness. Another letter writer is trying to negotiate solo time away from their partner. A third letter is from someone who feels guilty accepting rent from their boyfriend. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across

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52:35

Armchair Expertise

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/12/06

Danny Lavery welcomes Carmen Rita Wong, author of the recently published book, Why Didn’t You Tell Me? A Memoir. Lavery and Wong take on two letters. First, from someone concerned that her brother has been spiraling since going off his meds. Another letter writer is wondering how to extricate herself from her marriage without devastating her spouse. Plus, a deep dive in to Wong’s memoir, Why Didn’t You Tell Me? Resources if you know a family member or friend experiencing delusions:

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53:11

The Damage Done

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/11/29

Danny Lavery welcomes Lisa McIntire, a writer living in San Francisco with her dog, Toby. Lavery and McIntire take on two letters. First, someone who wants to tell her mom that she did protect her enough from her creepy uncle. Another letter writer wants to advocate for their boyfriend’s non-binary child, but doesn’t want to overstep boundaries. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on

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47:15

Martyr Manipulator

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/11/22

Danny Lavery welcomes Amanda McLoughlin, the CEO of Multitude, an independent podcast collective and production company. She is also the longtime co-host of the podcast, Spirits. Lavery and McLoughlin take on two letters. First, someone who feels guilty about how they got their boyfriend to start doing house chores. Another letter writer is wondering how to repair a family rift over them coming out as trans. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get

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51:48

Return of the Needy Mom

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/11/15

Danny Lavery welcomes Rakesh Satyal, the author of the novels Blue Boy and No One Can Pronounce My Name. He is currently an Executive Editor at the HarperOne Group/HarperCollins. Lavery and Satyal tackle two letters. First, someone who is trying to create distance with their mother who is thinking about moving next door. Another letter writer is wondering how to cultivate a chosen family. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience

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55:53

A Boo with No Clue

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/11/08

Danny Lavery welcomes Kat Kinsman, the executive features editor at Food & Wine, author of Hi, Anxiety: Life With a Bad Case of Nerves, and founder of Chefs With Issues, an ever-evolving project that addresses the mental health crisis in the hospitality industry. Lavery and Kinsman take on two letters. First, someone who believes their partner is wasting their time, studying for a career they are not qualified for. Another letter writer is wondering how to talk to her brother about his sexual

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48:21

Life After Scapegoating

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/11/01

Danny Lavery welcomes Danielle Moodie, host of the podcast, Woke AF, where she explores the many facets of what it means to be "woke" in our modern life. Lavery and Moodie take on three letters. First, from a career counselor who wants to keep their students from exploring particular jobs. Another letter writer was scapegoated by his colleagues, but wants his life back. Finally, a letter writer is looking for advice on how to come out as non-binary to their father. If you enjoy this show, please

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47:58

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/10/25

Danny Lavery welcomes Margo Donohue, author of Filmed in Brooklyn, and co-host of the podcasts, Book Vs. Movie, Dorking Out, and What a Creep. Lavery and Donohue tackle two letters. First, someone who can no longer support her sister through her years long, turbulent breakup from her ex. Another letter writer has a feeling that their boyfriend might be trans, and is wondering how to bring it up. Plus, Donohue takes us on a deep dive through her new book, Filmed In Brooklyn, which is the result of

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53:39

Post Surgical Shame

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/10/18

Danny Lavery welcomes Emi Nietfeld, a writer, software engineer, and author of ACCEPTANCE: A Memoir. Her essays have appeared in The New York Times, The Rumpus, Vice, and many more publications. Lavery and Nietfeld take on two letters. First, someone trying to cope with a failed gender-affirming surgical procedure. Another letter writer is wondering how to have a conversation with her elderly mom about her mental health. Plus, a chat about Nietfeld’s memoir, Acceptance. If you enjoy this show,

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54:12

The Martyr Boiling Point

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/10/11

Danny Lavery welcomes Ginna Green, a strategist-consultant-movement-builder now helping Jewish (and other) organizations change through her new firm, Uprise. She is also the co-host, along with Lynn Harris, of the Jewish advice podcast, A Bintel Brief. Lavery and Green tackle two letters. First, someone who is trying to save a friendship with a friend who tends to drive most people away. Another letter writer is trying to hold boundaries with her brother, but is worried that he has no one else to

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47:23

Please Shush

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/10/04

Danny Lavery welcomes Alyssa Knox, a night shift ICU nurse. Lavery and Knox take on two letters. First, someone who’s hurt that their best friend didn’t attend their wedding. Another letter writer can’t get a word in edgewise with their energy vampire roommate. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood

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54:25

Approved For Breakup

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/09/27

Danny Lavery welcomes Katie Tastrom, a sex worker and writer whose work focuses on disability justice. Her forthcoming book about prison abolition and disability justice is coming out in late 2023. Lavery and Tastrom take on two letters. First, someone who received a marriage proposal from her depressed boyfriend. Another letter writer is wondering how to make it up to their friend after accidentally calling them by their deadname, and how to get their own family to start honoring their own chosen

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52:17

Parental Paranoia

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/09/20

Danny Lavery welcomes Celeste Ng, the New York Times bestselling author of Everything I Never Told You and Little Fires Everywhere. Her third novel, Our Missing Hearts, will be published in October 2022. Lavery and Ng tackle two letters. First, someone who is trying to find care for her friend’s paranoid mother. Another letter writer is upset that his friend group has befriended his stalker. Plus, a great deal on Sir Micheal Caine’s desk. Resources for caring for the

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57:53

Clingy Sister Syndrome

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/09/13

Danny Lavery welcomes Kate Beaton, author of the new graphic memoir Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands, which recounts the time she spent working and living in Canada’s oil industry man camps. Lavery and Beaton take on two letters. First, someone who wants to break-up with a partner who spent the entire relationship expecting this to happen. Another letter writer wants to set boundaries with her sister after a long period of estrangement. Plus, a deep dive into Beaton’s new graphic memoir, Ducks: Two

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59:56

Only the Lonely

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/09/06

Danny Lavery welcomes Niko Stratis, a freelance culture writer whose work has appeared in outlets like SPIN, Autostraddle and more. Lavery and Stratis tackle two letters. First, from someone whose partner’s request for alone time has them feeling single. Another letter asks what is one's parental obligation if your son commits a violent crime. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email:

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49:00

College-Aged Cougar

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/08/30

Danny Lavery welcomes Austin Channing Brown, a media producer and author of the New York Times bestseller I’m Still Here: black dignity in a world made for whiteness. Lavery and Channing Brown take on two letters. First, from someone in college wondering if they should date someone in high school. Another letter writer is wondering how to mend a friendship they didin’t realize they may have been neglecting. Plus, a listener update! Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood

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43:07

Mad On Their Behalf

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/08/23

Danny Lavery welcomes Carey O’Donnell, a writer and comedian, who also co-hosts Sexy Unique Podcast. Lavery and O’Donnell tackle two letters. First, from someone who’s worried that his boyfriend’s family of origin is trying to re-enter his life. Another letter writer is wondering how to be patient with an old friend who keeps crossing the line. Plus, a listener update! Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question

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55:34

Best Friend, Terrible Advice

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/08/16

Danny Lavery welcomes Kate Duffy, a New York based licensed clinical social worker who has worked as a therapist and clinical supervisor in a variety of settings, including shelters, residential group homes, and outpatient clinics. Lavery and Duffy take on two letters. First, from someone who needs their bestie to stop giving them advice. Another letter writer is wondering how to confront her brother about past childhood sibling abuse. Plus, a listener update! Slate Plus members get another episode

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60:37

Anger by Association

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/08/09

Danny Lavery welcomes Ty Mitchell, a writer and former gay porn performer based in Brooklyn, New York. He has written for The New Inquiry and Buzzfeed, and you can read his current newsletter, the First Openly Gay Book Club, at firstopenlygay.substack.com. Lavery and Mitchell tackle two letters. First, from someone who’s upset that his friends continue to associate with someone who is considered toxic. Another letter writer is wondering if he should ask to open up his relationship, or simply

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47:23

No Urge To Merge

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2022/08/02

Danny Lavery welcomes Jules Gill-Peterson, author of Histories of the Transgender Child and a co-host of Outward on Slate. Lavery and Gill-Peterson take on two letters. First, from someone who is feeling pressured to commit to a relationship from their entire friend group. Another letter writer is worried that they are going to drive their partner away by relying on them too much. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a

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