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PODCAST

We Read Movies

There are good gay movies out there, but we won"t be talking about them. We"re three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don"t just watch movies, we read them for filth.

health sexuality

All Episodes

69:56

Ben and Arthur

We Read Movies ·

2021/03/29

For our birthday episode, we watched the 2002 film Ben and Arthur, widely regarded as the worst gay movie in the world. Possibly even the worst movie in the world. Does it live up to the hype? You best believe it does! Did we love every second of it? Heck yeah we did! Topics discussed: Church sanctioned hitmen Gun-toting ex-wives Interesting uses for nail polish remover More psychopaths than you can shake an extra large dildo at A constantly shifting magical flophouse Did we mention that this movie

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81:11

The Wolves of Kromer

We Read Movies ·

2021/03/15

This week, we watched the 1998 film The Wolves of Kromer. In a world where gay people are some sort of werewolves who live in the British countryside and eat old ladies, can we ever learn to get along with our straight neighbors? If this concept sounds wild, it's because it is. Topics discussed: Problematic gay allegories Does Pac-Man have a dick? Models who are actors The world's greatest detective Grief orgasms Oi innit, gov? We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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80:46

Shock to the System

We Read Movies ·

2021/03/01

This week, we watched the 2006 Shock to the System, the second in the Donald Strachey series of mysteries. Join us as we return to the Dirty Albs, and try solve a mystery so confusing that the country's most famous gay detective doesn't even know what the mystery is. Topics discussed: Chris describes a porno he should have described last episode Ex-gay therapy Tattoos Morgan Fairchild We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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20:33

SHORTS: Jackplot

We Read Movies ·

2021/02/22

This week, we watched the 2020 British short film Jackplot. For a movie with the word plot in the title, there's not a lot of it, so mostly we just talked about a DC/Frasier crossover. Join us, won't you Topics discussed: The Two Dr. Crane's How much money would it take for you to kill your husband? What if it was in British money? What even is British money? How does it work? Reality TV We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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86:58

Judas Kiss

We Read Movies ·

2021/02/15

This week, we watched the 2011 time travel drama Judas Kiss. When failed director Zach agrees to judge a film competition at his old alma mater, he magically travels back in time and meets himself as a student. Does he have sex with himself? You bet he does. Does anything else happen? Let's find out! Topics discussed: Would you have sex with past you? The unfortunate music of Brokencyde Straights Ask the Darnedest Thing Drew's dating history How many time travel references can we make? Hint: it's a

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13:29

SHORTS: Do We Really Have to Say Goodbye?

We Read Movies ·

2021/02/08

This week, we talked about the short film Do We Really Have to Say Goodbye, a gay covid tale with a twist ending that's so short we padded it out with a list of movies Chris has cried at on planes. It's weirder than you think Topics discussed: Covid movies during covid Movies Chris has cried at on planes Speaking of planes, who gave Baloo the Bear flight technology? Master Chef Junior We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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79:05

Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood

We Read Movies ·

2021/02/01

This week, along with our special guests Butch Alice and Anya Knees, we talked about the 2013 film Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood. With naked fight scenes, bad accents, and mind control powers, it should be a hit. Is it? Probably not, but let's find out! Topics discussed: Scooby Doo The rules of vampires Naked boxing Mind control acting Hey, look over there! Links mentioned in this episode: http://www.annextheatre.org/2020-season/the-vampires-of-the-neverwood/ We Read Movies This podcast is

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87:29

Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild

We Read Movies ·

2021/01/18

This week, Isabel Anderson, who also does our amazing episode art, joined us to talk about Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild. All of us, except Drew, hated the first film, but what will this installment bring? Can it hope to surpass the nasty, crass humor of the first movie? (Hint: Yes) Topics discussed: Which kind of merperson would you have sex with? Cursed tikis Chris describes the worst porno he's ever seen Problematic gays Bath houses Links mentioned in this

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82:59

The Love Patient

We Read Movies ·

2021/01/04

This week, we talked about the 2011 movie The Love Patient, about an awful man who fakes having cancer to get back with his ex who's in a much better place since they broke up. Will deception bring love? Will they land the big client at their ad agency? Will there be a weird pagan orgy in the middle for some reason? Let's find out! Topics discussed: Which Pokemon would you have sex with? Cooking naked Christmas presents What exactly is the replicator on Star Trek using to make food? The right way

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19:21

SHORTS: Andy The Talking Hedgehog

We Read Movies ·

2020/12/28

This week, at the suggestion of a listener who hates us, we watched the not even gay movie Andy the Talking Hedgehog. Starring Tara Reid and Dean Cain, this movie is a fascinating look into the depths of how bad a movie can actually be. We thought Pornography: A Thriller was terrible, but Andy the Talking Hedgehog has shown us how good we've actually had it. At least that movie hung dong. Topics discussed: Actors with problematic views Hedgehog teeth Lisa Frank What should a talking cat sound

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68:47

Midnight Kiss

We Read Movies ·

2020/12/21

This week, we watched Midnight Kiss, a Blumhouse presents horror movie about the dangers of kissing people on New Year's Eve, starring Captain America's brother, Scott Evans. Topics discussed: High concept horror movies People with cat heads Why Hulu is bad for seeing dong Why does Eric think people keep condoms in the bathroom? We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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23:22

SHORTS: Luber

We Read Movies ·

2020/12/14

This week, we talked about the short gay film Luber, an exploration into the extreme depths of sadness, lust, and one man's parasite-filled butthole. Topics discussed: STDs Gay Ziggy German romantic literature Tattoos and the men who love them (Drew) We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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77:31

Walk a Mile in My Pradas

We Read Movies ·

2020/12/07

This week, we watched the 2011 movie Walk a Mile in My Pradas, about a straight guy who magically becomes gay thanks to Bruce Vilanch's magical Christmas ornament. Also there's a gay dude who becomes magically straight, but he's barely in the movie sooooo... Topics discussed: The gay porn parody of The Ring Stereotypes Boats and cop cars Andy the Talking Hedgehog Famous Bruces We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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72:09

Is It Just Me?

We Read Movies ·

2020/11/23

This week, we watched Is It Just Me? the first film by JC Calciano, and by far his worst. When sad sack Blaine finds out that he accidentally catfished Texas boy Xander, he'll have to reenact the movie The Truth About Cats and Dogs (but with a self-hating gay twist) if he wants to get the guy. Is love more important than looks? What if you're actually totally fine looking, and also if you've only known each other for like a day and a half? Topics discussed: Musicals about politicians Gogo

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23:30

SHORTS: G O'Clock

We Read Movies ·

2020/11/16

This week, we talked for a very long time about the short film G O'Clock, about a chemsex party gone awry. Well, more awry. Topics discussed: Pokemon Booty shorts Recreational drug use Man-chaining British porn stars We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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80:32

Third Man Out

We Read Movies ·

2020/11/09

This week, we watched Third Man Out, the first of the Donald Strachey mystery series produced for HereTV. Starring Chad Allen as the most famous gay private investigator in all of Albany, this movie is the fun kind of incomprehensible. Topics discussed: The Dirty Albs Matthew Rush's dick Batman's claim to be the World's Greatest Detective Outing people Lower back tattoos Links mentioned in this episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOcBYAbJ5eQ We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by

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68:20

Pornography: A Thriller

We Read Movies ·

2020/10/26

This week, we talked about Pornography: A Thriller, a 2010 movie that wants you to feel bad about watching porn, but also kind of wants to show you some porn. The movie makes no sense, so if this episode feels incomprehensible, it's because we're actually doing an amazingly good job explaining it. Topics discussed: Good porn names How to get out of an unwanted party invitation Ghosts/demons/extradimensional creatures Count Barebackula We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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60:29

I Was a Teenage Werebear (with Sean Paul Lockhart,...

We Read Movies ·

2020/10/21

This week, we were joined by the incomparable Sean Paul Lockhart (Brent Corrigan if you're nasty) to talk about the 2011 featurette I Was a Teenage Werebear. A movie he was in! Guys, I'm geeking out over here. Topics discussed: Teen Beach Movies Ron Jeremy's dick Jockstrap diapers And we get real about some stuff Links mentioned in this episode: JUSTFOR.fans/brentcorrigan We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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84:27

Hellbent

We Read Movies ·

2020/10/12

The spookiest month continues with Hellbent, a 2004 gay slasher flick, about a hot guy in a devil mask who murders West Hollywood gays for... some reason. Did we lose our heads for this gorefest, or were we bored to death? Find out! Topics discussed: We try to name a single opera Slashers Stripper cops What's the best way to describe your dick? Cruising Is it hard to get laid in drag Wincest We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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19:05

SHORTS: The More The Scarier

We Read Movies ·

2020/10/05

This week, for the spookiest month of them all, we watched a gay horror short about a horny ghost. It's only a 6 minute short, and most of that is laugh track, so most of the episode is us talking about whether or not we'd fuck a ghost. Topics discussed: Abraham Lincoln's ghost Chuck Tingle books Would you fuck a ghost? Yes We Read Movies This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

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120 results

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