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PODCAST

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges. Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

30:52

163: Encore: My Kid Looked at Porn. What Should I Do?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/03/26

It’s not always comfortable to talk with our kids about pornography - but it’s something all parents need to do. Indeed, research shows that 12 is the average age at which kids first encounter pornography, and that by age 18, 79% of teens have been exposed to violent porn. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how it is that so many kids end up seeing pornography and the harms associated with viewing it. They also provide clear, actionable guidance on raising this delicate subject with kids and what to say

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33:48

162: How Do I Talk with My Teen about Fentanyl?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/03/19

Illicit fentanyl has contaminated the drug landscape and is causing record deaths among young people. How should parents talk with their teens about this fast-moving crisis? What can we say to help keep our kids safe? In this critically important episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena are joined by Ed Ternan and Marcia Lee Taylor of Song for Charlie, a national non-profit dedicated to raising awareness about the dangers of fentanyl. Ed, who tragically lost his 22 year-old son to a counterfeit prescription

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26:17

161: How Do I Get my Teens to Want to Spend Time with...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/03/12

A concerned parent seeks Dr. Lisa's guidance on building and maintaining a connection with her teenage son. Despite efforts to spend quality time together, most family activities are met with resistance. The parent wonders if it’s normal for her 15-year-old son and, more recently, her 11-year-old daughter, to hold their parents at a distance. Dr. Lisa and Reena explore the challenges of enforcing family time and suggest alternative approaches that can work. The episode answers several key

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31:55

160: Can I Require my Teen to Be on Birth Control?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/03/05

A devoted parent seeks advice on whether her 15-year-old daughter should be on birth control. Despite having open discussions about many topics, the daughter - who is in a long-term and intense heterosexual relationship - refuses to discuss contraception. Dr. Lisa weighs in on how to talk with teens about readiness for physical intimacy, and how to get teens to be open to awkward, (but necessary) conversations about their developing love lives. Reena asks if fifteen is too young to be having sex and

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27:23

159: Should I Worry That My Teen Is So Introverted?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/02/27

When should parents be concerned about a teen who resists making social plans and chooses to hang out at home instead? A parent writes asking if she should be worried about her introverted son. He excels academically, has a job, and exercises regularly, But he chooses to spend weekends at home playing on his phone or working on his computer. While he has friends, he rarely initiates plans with them and makes up excuses for not joining their activities. As the end of high school approaches, his

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36:43

158: Practical Optimism with Dr. Sue Varma

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/02/20

Can we boost our sense of happiness and overall well-being? Why do some individuals not only survive - but thrive - in the face of life's challenges? Dr. Sue Varma, a psychiatrist and cognitive behavioral therapist joins us on the publication day of her new book, Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being to answer these questions and more. The conversation explores Dr. Varma's 4 Ms of mental health - mood, mastery, meaning, and mindset - and addresses what Dr

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29:36

157: My Kid Has Diagnosed Herself on TikTok. What...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/02/13

There’s a growing concern shared by many adults: How do we help teenagers make sense of mental health misinformation on social media? Dr. Lisa and Reena respond to a letter from a parent worried that content on TikTok has led her teenage daughter to diagnose herself with OCD and ADHD. This episode explores the potential benefits and risks of learning about mental health through social media, how self-diagnosing can - at times - be harmful to teens, and how talking in diagnostic terms plays out in

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28:42

156: Is There a Gentle Way to Drop a Friend?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/02/06

An incredibly thoughtful question from a 14-year-old in the United Kingdom helps us look at the complexities of teen friendships. The letter writer asks about the challenge of wanting to distance from a friend without being unkind. Should teenagers be encouraged to have candid conversations with friends about their feelings, or is there a more nuanced approach that minimizes hurt feelings? How do we teach kids to be compassionate while establishing personal boundaries? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the

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28:30

155: Should I Be Worried that My Son Is Obsessed with...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/01/30

A mom writes in concerned about the fact that her 13-year-old son has developed an interest in bulking up. Though he's an active kid, he sees himself as "scrawny" and has decided to hit the weight room hard. When does a healthy interest in getting fit and building strength verge into unhealthy territory? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer this question and more as they dive into the research on boys and body obsession, consider differences among racial and ethnic groups, and detail the worst-case scenario

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44:15

154: The 5 Principles of Parenting: with Dr. Aliza...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/01/23

Special guest Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist and podcast host, discusses her new book, "The Five Principles of Parenting," with Dr. Lisa and Reena. Dr. Pressman introduces five key components of helping children thrive: Relationship, Reflection, Regulation, Rules, and Repair. While there is no such thing as a perfect approach to parenting, Dr. Pressman explains why giving thought to one’s personal values can help you and your kids navigate difficult moments. This episode also

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31:47

153: Encore: How Do We Help Kids Through Divorce?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/01/16

It’s never easy to decide to end a marriage. Parents want to protect their kids as the divorce process unfolds and want to help them navigate changing family dynamics. Dr. Lisa discusses how kids process divorce at different ages and the importance of helping your children feel secure and loved while shielding them from conflict. Dr. Lisa and Reena also address how to help kids understand that the break up was not their fault.Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our

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29:08

152: Will Social Media Harm My Kid?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/01/09

Parents often find themselves caught between frightening headlines about the dangers of social media and kids who want access to it. Dr. Lisa and Reena address a letter from a parent of three - ages 9, 12, and 14 - asking for guidance. Drawing on research findings and clinical experience, this episode covers when to consider allowing social media, sensible rules for responsible use, the role of gender, and how to minimize social media’s downsides. Dr. Lisa and Reena offer insights, tips, and

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31:23

151: How Do I Find Balance in 2024?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2024/01/02

Happy New Year! As we turn to making New Year’s resolutions, Dr. Lisa would like us to approach 2024 in a fresh way: instead of trying to “optimize” ourselves by making the most of every minute, she suggests that we focus on restoration. Why? Because the inevitable stress of daily life can actually help us grow if we get serious about how we recover. Dr. Lisa and Reena dive into why we need to prioritize restoration, how restoration differs from coping, and why guilt-soaked restoration doesn’t work

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30:52

150: Encore: How Do I Get My Son to Stop Picking On...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/12/26

Why are tweens and teens sometimes so cruel to their younger siblings? This is a common dynamic in family life, and one that can get worse over the holidays when siblings spend a lot of time together. Dr. Lisa takes us inside the adolescent brain and explains how the onset of puberty can make it hard for kids to control their emotions. She and Reena also address the place of gendered dynamics in sibling interactions, how not to shame kids when they’ve crossed a line, and what parents can do during

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29:10

149: Encore: Should I Bribe My Kid?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/12/19

What can parents try when we can’t get our kids to do what we ask? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack how to motivate kids without nagging or yelling and discuss when bribery might be an effective strategy to consider. Their conversation also answers several key questions: How do you respond to a kid who reflexively says “no” to everything you suggest? Is it okay to bribe kids to improve their grades? What other incentives really work and when should they be used? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube

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26:49

148: What Should I Do With Dicey Information About...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/12/12

When a teen tells us about a peer’s risky behavior, what’s the right thing to do? Should we keep our teen’s confidence, or should we alert the parents of the kid we are worried about? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle a letter from a parent who has built a strong sense of trust with her teens and often hears about dangerous behavior - including substance use and worrisome sexual activity - happening in their peer group. Dr. Lisa offers her practical parenting wisdom on when it makes sense to just listen,

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33:29

147: Girls Are Harassing My Son. What Should I Do?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/12/05

Getting a lot of attention from girls might not seem like a problem. But a mother writes in asking Dr. Lisa for advice on how to deal with the fact that girls are fawning over her son who wants no part of it. He feels embarrassed by the attention and finds that ignoring it only seems to be making the situation worse. The boy’s father worries that his son might develop a reputation for being the “mean kid” for not acknowledging or responding to the girls’ incessant overtures. Dr. Lisa and Reena

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27:26

146: What's the Best Way to Help a Kid with ADHD?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/11/28

Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the nuances of ADHD: what to look for, when to be concerned, and the overlap between ADHD and executive functioning challenges. Dr. Lisa unpacks how, ideally, an ADHD diagnosis is made and the treatment options for kids and teenagers who receive the diagnosis. The conversation also answers some key questions about when medication should be considered, whether taking medication for ADHD increases the risks of misusing substances, and whether a medication trial can be used to

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31:15

145: Encore: My Kids Lose it When They Make Sports...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/11/21

Sports is not just about the final score. It’s an opportunity for kids to grow, to learn how to improve their skills, and to be a good teammate. But athletics today can be incredibly competitive, aggressive, and emotionally intense. Dr. Lisa offers strategies for when kids lose their cool when things don’t go their way and explains how to help kids manage their reactions when they make mistakes. Reena asks about how far you should push a kid who wants to quit a sport they’re good at and if we should

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29:53

144: How Much Should I Share About My Kids?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/11/14

Parents can feel worried when their teen first starts driving or riding around in friends’ cars. What can parents do to help teens stay safe behind the wheel? What rules should be put in place and how well do those rules work? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer these questions and more while also addressing graduated drivers’ license laws and the part they play in reducing accidents among young drivers. Follow and subscribe to our new YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes:

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