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PODCAST

Never Thought I"d Say This

Audioboom Studios

Fuller House star and mother of two Jodie Sweetin and her best friend, life coach Celia Behar, hilariously tackle parenting taboos by sharing war stories from the frontlines of single motherhood, talking to special guests about the issues all parents face, and giving unfiltered advice to listeners.

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

58:44

S2 Ep43: Oh F*ck, The Corn

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/07/01

In a classic NTIST episode, Jodie goes to Facebook jail, the kids get sneaky on TikTok and play “hide the giant hairball,” Lulu accidentally finds her way into saying another sexually inappropriate phrase, and the ladies talk about their Zoom game night (which obviously went off the rails). Plus, there’s an amusing amount of conversation about corn. Thanks, Dustin. Merch: https://unsweetined.com/ Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:

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56:30

S2 Ep42: You're A Perfect Parent Until You Have Kids!...

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/06/24

This week, Jodie and Celia are joined by the fabulous Danielle Fishel! They discuss the overwhelming amount of parenting information out there, and how it can cause so much self-doubt. Danielle shares the traumatic story of her son’s first weeks of life – how not googling or seeking outside information about his medical condition was the key to getting through it, and how she managed to stay calm and be her son’s advocate throughout the experience. They also talk about quarantine snacks, sibling

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71:27

S2 Ep41: Hamilton & Hard Conversations (with Isaiah...

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/06/17

Jodie and Celia are joined this week by husband and wife duo Isaiah Johnson and Stacie Orrico! They talk about the climate of racial injustice in the United States, how to have hard conversations about race, and for Stacie and Isaiah, how to navigate interracial relationships and parenthood. Plus, they discuss Hamilton, weird penises, Jodie’s new nickname, and Celia’s at-home waxing journey. NOTE: stick around until the very end for a questionable request from

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66:57

S2 Ep40: Low-Rent, Zig-Zag Penis

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/06/10

NOTE: This episode was recorded before recent events. Our support is 100% with the Black Lives Matter movement. Jodie and Celia are back for another quarantine episode, and this time, it’s the kids who have gone off the rails. From discussions about zig-zag male anatomy (??), to nightly bedtime battles, to horrific screen time habits, Jodie and Celia have realized the importance of walking away and taking a parent time-out when they can feel themselves losing patience with the kids. But this is

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68:45

S2 Ep39: Can You Hear Me Now? With Meredith Masony...

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/05/27

This week, Jodie and Celia are joined by Tiffany Jenkins (of Juggling the Jenkins) and Meredith Masony (of That’s Inappropriate)! From their respective closets/garages/wells, the ladies discuss everything from conspiracy theories, butts (yes, again), the online parenting community, and how to charge your kids for snacks during quarantine (thanks, Tiffany!). Merch: https://unsweetined.com/ Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email: neverthoughtid@protonmail.com

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46:07

S2 Ep38: Scratch 'N Stiff Snickers

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/05/20

This week, Jodie and Celia dive into listener letters! They share “never thought I’d say this” moments from all of you, hear about how everyone’s doing during the pandemic, and interject with their usual insane silliness (including Celia’s famous “coked-out chipmunk” impression). Then Celia shares a new story about her mom, and maybe her best (worst?) craptastic parenting moment yet. Merch: https://unsweetined.com/ Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:

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62:01

S2 Ep37: We're Not Wearing Pants

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/05/13

Well, the day has come. Celia has given herself a full Brazilian wax at home during quarantine, and she lived to tell us the tale. Then, Jodie shares her most recent never thought I’d say this and craptastic parenting moments: Jodie’s daughter moved into the bathroom, her other daughter refused to wear pants, and Jodie had a screaming tantrum. Jodie and Celia talk about how blurred the boundaries are with kids during quarantine – how do you keep things under control as a parent when even you are

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55:08

S2 Ep36: Dildo-Holding Lonely Girl

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/05/06

Jodie and Celia are back with another closet edition of NTIST! Jodie talks about something she never thought she’d say: she threw a socially distant birthday party for her daughter. The ladies check in about their respective mental states in isolation – the loneliness, the lack of control, and the guilt that comes with having negative feelings when in a relatively privileged position. They offer advice to their listeners: stay in your hula hoop, and take a break from the dishes. Celia talks about

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54:11

S2 Ep35: Smurf Vaginas

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/04/29

Jodie and Celia are back broadcasting from their respective closets to discuss their new normal: quarantining with the kids. They talk about their lack of sanity, their adventures in remote recording (which somehow manage to include bathroom humor), and Celia gearing up for some terrifying at-home waxing. They also talk about the silver linings of the pandemic – clean air, people being extra generous, and taking a break from productivity. Oh yeah, and there’s plenty of butthole content. Just to stay

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58:33

S2 Ep34: Your Life Is Not Worth A Taco

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/04/22

Jodie and Celia are in full quarantine mode and are dispatching today from their respective closets, because the show must go on! They give each other updates on how homeschooling the kids is going and naturally, it’s a mixed bag. They stress the importance of not putting too much pressure on the kids or themselves during this surreal time, and share some of the highs and lows they’ve faced so far. Plus, Celia is still boozing, Jodie is still breaking toes, and both of them are still

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53:32

S2 Ep33: We Are The Grenade

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/04/15

This week, Jodie and Celia talk about the idea of the “nuclear family” – and decide it’s kind of B.S. They discuss the guilt that comes up for single moms who don’t have cookie-cutter families, and the ways in which they’ve created chosen families that create a wider, more diverse network of support than the traditional family structure. And somehow, all roads lead to Celia’s butt. Merch: https://unsweetined.com/ Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:

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61:57

S2 Ep32: Is Oprah Involved? With Brenda Strong

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/04/08

This week Jodie and Celia are joined by Brenda Strong, who along with being an actress is a yoga teacher and a pioneer of yoga for fertility. The ladies talk about the stigma that comes with infertility, and the shame that society places on all aspects of both being a mother and not being a mother. Brenda offers some tools for embracing all experiences - good and bad - and Celia opens up about her secondary infertility and the way that Brenda’s teachings helped her through it. Then Jodie forgets

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50:52

S2 Ep31: Pandemic Special Pt. 2: Butt Stuff

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/04/01

Jodie and Celia are back for the second installment of their Pandemic Special. This time, the ladies take a detour to share some pre-coronavirus stories: the special adventures of Lulu and Bea, Bea “running away,” Jodie and Celia breaking their bodies, and Celia showing her pedicurist porn (on accident!). Then, they talk about being present and reconnecting in the face of the current panic, and issue a PSA: with all this extra time on your hands, don’t put weird things up your butt. Merch:

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49:10

S2 Ep30: Pandemic Special: Celia's Drunk

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/03/25

Jodie and Celia are dispatching to you from the COVID-19 pandemic this week – something they never thought they’d say. First thing to know is that Celia is drunk. Second is that along with discussing how the pandemic is affecting their lives, they manage to find the humor in a bad situation, as they always do. So this episode is filled with laughs, an insane new expression from the brilliant mind of Jodie Sweetin, butt humor, and Picante Clamato. Merch: https://unsweetined.com/ Instagram:

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55:16

S2 Ep29: Don't Eat That! With Lisa Loeb

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/03/18

This week the ladies sit down with the musician Lisa Loeb! They talk about how Lisa became a children’s musician (before she was a mom), and how the best music for kids to listen to has a high level of cleverness, storytelling, and humor – whether it’s made specifically for kids or not. They discuss radical self-acceptance in kids AND adults, and how Los Angeles is a great place to learn it. Plus, kids eat the grossest things. Merch: https://unsweetined.com/ Instagram:

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56:11

S2 Ep28: Grandma Has FUPA

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/03/11

Jodie and Celia are joined by Dancing With The Stars alum Kym Johnson, the first mom with twins to grace the podcast! The ladies share memories of new motherhood, the horrors of breastfeeding, and mom guilt. Then they dive deep into body image – how rough it is for moms postpartum, and how rough it is for kids when they reach puberty. But in an ironic twist, Celia tells her daughter she has “FUPA” in a craptastic parenting moment for the ages. If you don’t know what that is, you will soon! Merch:

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56:11

S2 Ep27: The Goodwill

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/03/04

Jodie and Celia have reached that inevitable point when their older daughters have become cooler than them. They talk about the impossibility of clothes shopping with middle schoolers (especially for a first dance) and the insanity of school dress codes. They also totally out themselves as lame moms (they don’t think TikTok videos are funny, they don’t understand slang, etc.) and they’re NOT ASHAMED. Merch: https://unsweetined.com/ Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook:

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54:56

S2 Ep26: We Have Anxiety and Depression!

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/02/26

This week, Jodie and Celia talk about having anxiety and depression, parenting through mental illness and grief, and how they talk to their kids about it. Because a serious topic never gets in the way of these two having a good, off-the-rails time, they manage to laugh through the discussion, sexualize Olaf from Frozen, and joke about “sacks” with Jodie’s daughter. Yeah, those sacks. Merch: https://unsweetined.com/ Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:

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89:06

S2 Ep25: LIVE! At SF Sketchfest

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2020/02/19

And we’re back for Season 2, with NTIST’s first LIVE SHOW! Jodie and Celia take the stage at San Francisco Sketchfest to talk about their holiday vacations with the kids (if you think those went smoothly, welcome – you must be new here). Things really go off the rails when Jodie narrates Celia’s onstage reenactments of “sex positions” as imagined by Celia’s daughter Lulu…buckle up, everyone! Merch: https://unsweetined.com/ Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:

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57:45

S1 Ep24: You Get The Jizz Of It

Never Thought I"d Say This ·

2019/12/18

It’s the final episode of Season One (don’t worry, we’ll be back soon)! Jodie and Celia cover such topics as binge eating at Harry Potter World (and inappropriate places to stick magic wands), the end of Fuller House, kids’ anxiety about their parents’ finances, screaming dispatches from the shower, and a special announcement! (And yes – obviously they go off the rails 100+ times.) Merch: https://unsweetined.com/ Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:

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