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PODCAST

Stellar Firma

“Build your planet, keep in line… also clones."Stellar Firma is a weekly Science Fiction, Comedy podcast following the misadventures of Stellar Firma Ltd."s highest born but lowest achieving planetary designer Trexel Geistman and his bewildered clone assistant David 7. Join them each episode as they attempt to take listener submissions and craft them into the galaxy"s most luxurious, most expensive and most questionably designed bespoke planets.However, with Trexel"s corporate shark of a line

comedy science fiction

All Episodes

22:22

Episode 43 - Detectives and Detonations

Stellar Firma ·

2020/04/10

Episode 43Detectives and DetonationsCLIENT - Kathbier Ninden, Office of Redundancy and Explosion ManagementKathbier, a Planetside Relations Programmer would like assistance with the exponential growth of solar system destroying explosions.Expeditors' recommendation: extended noir scenes, rejection of reality, follow the money, take it to the top, take it to a different top, apply basic logic.Comedic ViolenceEmotional AbuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to Mimic325 for this episode's Brief Submission, and

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21:59

Episode 42 - Push Ups and Privilege

Stellar Firma ·

2020/04/03

Episode 42Push-Ups and PrivilegeCLIENT - Doug Whimperton, MarketingDoug, an A.A.S.S.U.S.S.D.M. from Marketing, would like to not have very similarly named co-workers with the surname Whimperton.Expeditors' recommendations: let the board take care of it, Whimperton murder, be drunk on privilege, feed your rival to the ground to make it drunk.ALERT - Safety protocols deactivated, external control links detected.Comedic ViolenceEmotional AbuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to Sarah Mainwaring for this

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24:34

Episode 41 - Exile and Expediting

Stellar Firma ·

2020/03/27

Episode 41Exile and ExpeditingCLIENT - Drydon Quigley, SecurityALERT - Department reassignment.Drydon, a General Thug from Security would like to be rescued from a locked security office.Expeditor’s recommendation - goad the gun walls, wait out the problem (life), try not to worry about it too much, don't get compacted.ALERT - Safety protocols deactivated, external control links detected.Comedic ViolenceEmotional AbuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to Abigail Roberts for this episode's Brief Submission,

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4:27

CEO Statement on Current Operations

Stellar Firma ·

2020/03/25

And now a statement from Rusty Quill CEO, Alexander J Newall with some updates on the current state of operations at Rusty Towers, as of 25th March 2020.For a full transcript of this statement, visit http://rustyquill.com/ceo-statement-on-covid-19/Join our community:WEBSITE: rustyquill.comFACEBOOK: facebook.com/therustyquillTWITTER: @therustyquillREDDIT: reddit.com/r/RustyQuillEMAIL: mail@rustyquill.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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21:14

Episode 40 - Grudges and Gauntlets

Stellar Firma ·

2020/03/20

Episode 40Grudges and GauntletsCLIENT - Sales ReviewALERT - Safety protocols deactivated, external control links detected.Comedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismMortal perilThis week's Patrons: Jennifer Southerland, Travis Boillat, Ali Cillov, Berlin Kofoed, Agnieszka Bogdan, Curtis Y Takahashi, Emily James, Alix Bernier, Nanna, ealyblu, Evelyn Scidmore, Ori Griffin, Melissa Koetzle, Izzy Edmonds, Laiska, Alex, Grey G, benja✌✨, Erin Graham, Rebecca McVeigh.If you'd like to join them be sure to

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23:30

Episode 39 - Gripes and Graduation

Stellar Firma ·

2020/03/13

Episode 39Gripes and GraduationCLIENT - Ethel Unction YeemsThe client is interested in a planet for the ongoing education and social development of young sentient lifeforms, whether they like it or not.Content Warning for:Comedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to Imogen Cassidy for this episode's Brief Submission, and this week's Patrons: Kristin Jeffords, The Laughing Kookaburra, Murmuruk, Mrs. Mighterbump, Jorj Car'das, Jess Donaldson, Constantin Valdor, Joia Vita, James Rule,

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1:41

ANNOUNCEMENT: Discontinuing Patreon Shoutouts

Stellar Firma ·

2020/03/06

Important Announcement:As of 13 March 2020 we will be retiring the name shout-out reward from our Rusty Knight and Rusty Noble tiers of the Patreon.If you have never been a Rusty Knight or Noble ($5 or upwards/month) and still want to have your name read out, you will need to be a Patron (or upgrade your membership if you’re a Rusty Citizen) by midnight GMT onFriday13th March by visiting www.patreon.com/rustyquillFor more information, visit http://rustyquill.com/patreon-shout-outs-closing/Join our

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22:10

Episode 38 - Muscles and Moral Egotism

Stellar Firma ·

2020/03/06

Episode 38Muscles and Moral EgotismCLIENT - Yinly StrongThe client is interested in a planet on which they can work out and gain rad muscles whilst also raising bees to produce muscle honey.Content Warning for:Comedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to Marcela Garcia for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Ashton, Andrea Paternoster, Isa, Laurie Rich, Lizzie Jacobs, Elisabeth Dixon, Robin Allez, Joe Bell, Veronica P, Sam and Phobos, Kira, Dr. Badvibes, Sara

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21:59

Episode 37 - Tedium and Touching Gestures

Stellar Firma ·

2020/02/28

Episode 37Tedium and Touching GesturesCLIENT - Sub-Manager Paxt ScrumThe client(s) is/are interested in a dangerous location for team building purposes. Suggested sales tactics: narrative constructs, feigned interest, tedium pits, olive branches.Content Warning for:Comedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to bittercape for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Sigma Rho, Paul Carroll, Rachael Heflin, Shibbi, Emily Johnsen, Laurel Adams, Patrick Halsewig, Lief, Steve

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25:02

Episode 36 - Spies and Subterfuge

Stellar Firma ·

2020/02/21

Episode 36Spies and SubterfugeCLIENT - Agent 42069 of the [REDACTED] AgencyThe client(s) is/are interested in a facility to train and test spies. Suggested sales tactics: Spy on the spy, Trenchcoat!, Xylophagia, Portable AI.Content Warning for:Panic attacksComedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to Astrid Grenzdörffer & Britt Beerbohm for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Evelyn Walker, Anne, Katharine Pigliacelli, Aaron Perill, Debbie Frangedakis,

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37:55

Episode 35 - Planets and Protagonists

Stellar Firma ·

2020/02/14

Episode 35Planets and ProtagonistsCLIENT - Sales ReviewALERT - TTRPG detected, Security alertedComedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismThis week's Patrons: Michael Spiral DESERVES Rights, Andy Loth, Daniel Williams, Heather H, Evil Angel, Vivianne Starlight, Coney's Mom, Kay-Jay Bee, Cato, planetsandmagic, Mariada, Stephanie Simon, Melissa Ponce, Olivia Pugh, Tatyana Beck, Brittany, The Paper Librarian, Kira Apple, Lena Williams, Dani.If you'd like to join them be sure to visit

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19:59

Episode 34 - Percy and Perfidiousness

Stellar Firma ·

2020/02/07

Episode 34Percy and PerfidiousnessCLIENT - Stefan the Mantis ShrimpThe client(s) is/are interested in a planet to celebrate their ten thousandth birthday. Suggested sales tactics: globe thievery, emotional outbursts, unwanted backstory, reckless endangerment, moral quagmires.Content Warning for:Comedic ViolenceEmotional AbuseAlcoholism.Special thanks to Cato AKA Cato for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Link Sandblom, Sindre Sareide, Retro Seamstress, Nick Mikoleit, Tasha,

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21:00

Episode 33 - Self-Confidence and Social Influence

Stellar Firma ·

2020/01/31

Episode 33Self-Confidence and Social InfluenceCLIENT - Attia NovelliaThe client is interested in a planet as a talking point for their social media posts. Suggested sales tactics: rewrite history, engage in destructive nostalgia, brazen hollow mockery, buttery animals.Content Warning for:GaslightingComedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to Hedwig for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Sofia Sandino, Cecil Goodwin, Nell, Masha Weber, James Candalino, Kit Buss,

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23:14

Episode 32 - Standards and Swarms

Stellar Firma ·

2020/01/24

Episode 32Standards and SwarmsCLIENT - Bee FrostThe clients are interested in a factory planet to create their own stars. Suggested sales tactics: ignore the client... entirely.ALERT - INTERNAL I.M.O.G.E.N. OVERRIDE DETECTED, ANY SECRET HATCHES OBSERVED CAN BE NEITHER CONFIRMED NOR DENIED.Content warning for:Poisoning/druggingSacrificial animalsComedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to ShardAngel for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Charlie Haglin, Jason

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25:39

Episode 31 - Shells and Shame

Stellar Firma ·

2020/01/17

Episode 31Shells and ShameCLIENT - Kaldor the ChitinousThe client(s) is/are interested in a planet to reflect their hard outer shell and rich inner life. Suggested sales tactics: emotional blackmail, lean in to immorality, ignore personal promises, clean Perkins, burn down the school, shuck the client, *ANOMALY* bio-facsimile leading the meeting. May the Board have mercy on their souls.Content warning for:Comedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to HRH Aranellefor this episode's Brief

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1:28

ANNOUNCEMENT - RQ Streams!

Stellar Firma ·

2020/01/14

It's time for a new video project - RQ Streams - with Mike LeBeau (Head of Video; Tim Stoker) and Anil Godigamuwe (Community Manager) as your guides & fellow explorers through the worlds of gaming! And thank you so much to everyone for your support to make things like this possible!Join us weekly on Saturdays, at 3pm GMT - starting 25th January 2020 - at www.twitch.tv/rusty_quill !Music: "The Messenger" by Silent Partner via the Youtube Audio LibraryJoin our community:WEBSITE:

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26:11

Episode 30 - Logic and Line Managers

Stellar Firma ·

2020/01/10

Episode 30Logic and Line ManagersCLIENT - Sales ReviewALERT - NO SALES LINE MANAGER LOCATED FOR CITIZEN EMPLOYEE T. GEISTMAN (ID 362884)AND BIO FACSIMILE DAVID 7 (ID 95847335). ASSESSING HUMAN RESOURCE DISTRIBUTION…PROMOTION APPROVED, REROUTING LINE MANAGER.Content warning for:Comedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to this week's Patrons: Jay Grace, Lena, Noj Strebor, handlebarlan, Green-nosed Mule, Charles Lambing, anajinn, Justine Silving, Zach Hoffman, Potato, Nikki Bee, Kayleigh

en

27:54

Episode 29 - Commerce and Candy

Stellar Firma ·

2020/01/03

Episode 29Commerce and CandyCLIENT - Fugatissiman and/or ArchexianniamThe client(s) is/are interested in a birthday party planet for their niece, Rosie Nix (they are turning 6). Suggested sales tactics: by decree of Trexel the Mighty, exploit work/life unbalance, withhold things wanted, upselling.Content Warning for:Comedic violenceAbleism (dissociative disorder)Emotional abuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to Molly & Emily for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Spooooky, Kate

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4:14

Mandatory Winter Holiday Client Communiqué

Stellar Firma ·

2019/12/27

Mandatory Winter Holiday Client CommuniquéIncoming Message from Line Manager Hartro Piltz... Message reads:“So help me Trexel, if you don’t do this board forsaken message I will personally see to it that you spend the next year picking my toenails out of your soft pallet! RECORD A MESSAGE FOR YOUR CLIENTS!”Response from Consultant Trexel Geistman;*ERROR* MESSAGE UNREADABLE, APPEARS TO BE COMPRISED OF WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH………Audio attachment received from Consultant Trexel Geistman with

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20:49

Episode 28 - Deities and Determination

Stellar Firma ·

2019/12/20

Episode 28Deities and DeterminationCLIENT - Kaliah TallettClient is interested in a shrine to their mouse god. Suggested sales tactics: shouting, religious deception, surprise, platinum mouse guardians, Kicking Tithe.Content Warning for:Comedic violenceEmotional abuseAlcoholismSpecial thanks to Marcela Garciafor this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Samuel Borrello, Edison Potter, Jedediah G Schmidt, David Cothron, Julianna, Amalia, Jessica Salter, Ellie Smith, Adrian Clarke, Mara

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