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PODCAST

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Hello, I"m psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday"s you"ll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

15:01

Why Won't My Children Listen?

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/12

Do your children never pay attention to you?Are you at your wit’s end?Don’t worry, every parent struggles to get their kids to pay attention, and in this bucket emptying episode I’m going to share three things you can do that might help.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:04 - The reasons for their inattention03:27 - Outside distractions07:12 - Focus on the power of one12:19 - Setting boundaries💚 Join our campaign One Million

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39:33

Getting Out of Children's Way Builds Resilience

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/08

Do you like to fix your child’s problems?Are you trying to be their best friend?Sorry to break this to you, but these are some of the reasons why your kids may not be building the resilience you hoped. And I get it - we all want to help our children, and we hate seeing them struggle, but building identity and resilience is about learning how to fail and how to problem solve.In this episode, I talk you through SPRING, or the fundamental building blocks of resilience, and reveal the eight ways we as

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12:30

Empowering Children with Disabilities

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/05/04

What does being the best really mean?What does ‘fitting in’ look like?Parents and children living with physical disabilities live with a unique set of challenges. They often find themselves judged or ridiculed, and this can have a big impact on our kids.On this week’s bucket emptying, I welcome back Cathy Reay, a disabled writer and journalist, and mum of two (plus a very cheeky cat!). She also works in educational publishing. How To Be Disabled and Proud (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...) is

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31:25

When the Stakes Feel High

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/30

WARNING: this podcast is not for parents.I spend a lot of my time visiting schools and speaking to classes full of children of all ages, so for once I’m dedicating a podcast episode to you, the kids.This episode is all about giving you the skills and the understanding you need to manage those days when things feel overwhelming. Maybe your mental health is taking a hit, and maybe you have moments when the pressure gets too much.Well here’s the secret: it’s ok! And here are some things you can do to

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16:19

Bucket Emptying: Sharing Bedrooms

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/27

Do your children share a room?Do they argue?Are you at your wits end?Sibling rivalries, particularly when it comes to shared bedrooms, can be fierce, but sometimes we just don’t have a choice.But there’s good news…There is a way to make it work. From pairing the right children (and it might not be what you think) to creating private space and time for each child, I am going to share some top tips and expert advice that will help you make sharing bedrooms feel less like a daily battle!So find a comfy

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40:51

Why Paternity Leave Matters with The Dad Shift

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/23

Did you know the UK has the worst statutory paternity leave in Europe?Are you aware of the significant long term implications of reduced parental leave?And did you know that countries with better statutory paternity leave also have a smaller gender pay gap?In this episode, I am joined by Alex Lloyd Hunter, co-founder of The Dad Shift, to discuss everything from why he’s putting paternity leave on the agenda to breaking down traditional 1950s family stereotypes.This is one of my favourite

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11:48

Bucket Emptying: The Superpower of Eating Together

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/20

How often do you sit down and eat together as a family?If you’re a little embarrassed about the answer, then I have some news for you… you’re not alone. Most families do not regularly make time to eat together, and I get it! School, work, hobbies, errands - life gets in the way.But eating together can have real benefits, not just on your kids but on your whole family, and in this episode I explore some of those reasons, and encourage you to think about how you can find time to enjoy meals together

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46:14

School Refusal with Dr. Dan Weisberg

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/16

Is your child refusing to go to school?Do they seem frequently distressed?Is the school run the worst part of your day?School refusal is a growing problem, with more and more children missing more school than ever. But here’s a big spoiler: it’s not your fault.There are so many reasons why our kids don’t want to go to school, and on today’s episode I am going to unpack what those reasons are, and provide you with some actionable tips to help you manage this in an appropriate and constructive way.To

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14:31

Bucket Emptying: How Do We Have Conversations About...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/13

“Disability is not an us and them conversation, and it’s not a pity conversation. It’s about teaching kids compassion and an openness to collaboration”These are the words of today’s guest Cathy Reay, a disabled writer and journalist, and mum of two (plus a very cheeky cat!). She also works in educational publishing. How To Be Disabled and Proud (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...) is her first children’s book, and on this week’s bucket emptying episode we are discussing how to have

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17:09

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/09

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”This quote from prolific American businessman Henry Ford is one I use often, because usually our fears - of failure, of self-worth, or of anything else - usually stem from within.The power of positive thinking, right? A positive attitude with confidence and resilience can manifest better outcomes, so in this episode I am going to tackle this with you.This episode is based on the international bestselling book Feel the Fear And Do It

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9:02

Bucket Emptying: Consequences Aren't Working

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/06

Does your child never seem to listen to you?Do punishments never work?Are you running out of ideas?Well, here’s some tough love: your consequences aren’t working, and it’s probably your fault. Of course we should make sure misdemeanors are met with consequence, but if your child doesn’t seem to listen, then the consequences clearly are not effective or appropriate.In this bucket emptying episode, I talk you through three things you can consider, so that consequences are not just punishments, but

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25:38

Adolescence: Lessons for Raising Boys

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/04/02

From the education system, to conflicting expectations, to technology and social media… Netflix’s hit TV show Adolescence has raised many issues about how young men and boys are being raised and the challenges they face.By ignoring some of these underlying problems, we are letting down our children.Our kids deserve to grow up in a world where they feel safe.This starts with making sure we - as parents, as teachers, as role models, and as a society - are raising our boys with the skills and the

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11:48

Bucket Emptying: How to Start Difficult Conversations

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/30

If you haven’t yet seen Adolescence on Netflix, what have you been doing?!Jokes aside, this TV show has been a triggering one for many of us, but especially those parents of boys. It has brought to light many issues around the manosphere, masculinity, and a generation of children who, without a safe space to have open and honest conversations with grownups, can be easily influenced by harmful content elsewhere.That’s why this week’s bucket emptying episode is all about how to have those difficult

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23:10

Lazy or Bored?

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/27

New research from the World Health Organisation (WHO) ranks children in England and Wales near bottom for physical activity.This reflects a world where children are becoming less active… in fact, between the ages of 7 and 16, our kids will spend on average half a year - that’s six whole months - playing video games. But here’s the thing…Our children are not lazy, and we’re not heading for some Wall-E world where we all whizz around on floating chairs! They could just be bored.I believe we can make

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11:07

Bucket Emptying: Flaw or Skills Gap?

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/24

Does your child always leave their room in a mess?Do they leave tasks to the last minute?Are they always on their phone, or wanting to be?As parents we tend to think of things like this as an issue, but in this episode I’m going to help you pivot, because these are not flaws. They’re just skill gaps.When we can reframe these traits of our kids, then we can start to identify how they might need help and support, to gain new skills and overcome some of these day to day challenges.So find a comfy seat,

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32:36

The Five Things All Children Need

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/20

I am SO MAD!Or I was when I first listened to a guest discuss their parenting views on another top podcast. Her guidance - that children should not be in daycare and that women should stay at home for the first couple of years - I felt was too dogmatic, and I immediately jumped on the mic to record this episode.That professional’s opinion comes from an informed place. However, I strongly disagree with them, and in this episode I want to share what I believe are the five core things you should be

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11:28

Bucket Emptying: How Can I Help My Child Manage Exam...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/17

Exams can be a stressful time for our children, which makes them a stressful time for us mums and dads too! There’s a lot of pressure, which can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t need to be like this.In this episode I help you to understand the difference between belief gaps, skills gaps and knowledge gaps, how to identify which one (or combination of) your child is struggling with, and share some tips on how you can help them manage this.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the

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26:47

Seen But Not Heard: Helping Your Child Find Their Voice

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/13

Is your child quiet, shy or reserved?Do they struggle to get heard in group settings?Are you worried their introversion is holding them back?As parents we naturally worry about our children, but here’s some breaking news: just because they might be reserved or quiet, it does not mean they lack belief or confidence.They may not know how to assert themselves in certain situations as well as others, or even as well as you or their siblings, so in this episode I am going to help you spot the signs where

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14:25

Bucket Emptying: Daytime Nap or Quiet Time?

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/10

Do you dread nap time? And is your child always resisting a nap?As parents, we know there’s nothing worse than the tantrum of an overtired kid, so in this episode I’m here to help you create an effective routine to help your children rest and recharge.Spoiler alert: maybe it’s time to detach yourself from nap time and start thinking about it as quiet time instead.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:14 - Why do children need

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26:19

When Your Parents Disagree with Your Parenting

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/03/06

Do your parents criticise your parenting?Do you struggle to enforce your own rules on the Grandparents?Do Nan and Grandad sometimes think they’re above the law of Mum and Dad?If you’re constantly battling with your own parents over your children, don’t worry - we’ve all there at some point! I often had difficult conversations with my own Mum when raising my two children, and it’s not easy.In this episode I’m going to help you manage these situations by sharing some top tips on how to approach this

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