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PODCAST

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye

A movie podcast about film franchises, their ups and downs, franchises that worked, franchises that failed, franchises that never were.

tv & film film history

All Episodes

02:15:29

Lil Mermaid Round 2: Return to the Podcast

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2022/03/07

Melissa is back! And Jon and Roy from Yours, Mine and Theirs are here. (NOTE: To understand some of the jokes and repeated references in this episode, Jon ate some cornbread on camera and we talked about Brooke's obsession with Savannah Smiles, a movie about runaway/kidnapping children that was filmed in Utah) They're planning a live event on July 1st and are crazy. The Batman and punching too many people. Roy doesn't care if the adaptation is like the source material. Jon watched the Toei Animation

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01:57:04

The Little Mermaid

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2022/02/28

Listener discretion advised on this one because the conversation goes in some... interesting directions. But we're back! Tonal difference from Hannibal to Disney. Mads-curious. The history of Disney post Sleeping Beauty to now (note: in the episode Andy incorrectly says Sleeping Beauty came out in 1969 when it came out in 1959, putting Little Mermaid at 30, not 20, years later. He has been appropriately disciplined). Jeffrey Katzenberg, co-founder of Quibi. The genius of Howard Ashman and the "I

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02:15:00

The End of Hannibal -- Hannibal Season 3 / Hannibal...

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/12/21

Gaelen is back for Act 3 of the show she calls "Mindf@#$ing in Three Acts"-- it's most mindf@#$ery that ever was!!! The censors were totally not paying attention. We talk about Hannibal Rising for 30 seconds and that's all there is to say about that "movie." We ranks our best Hannibals, Will Grahams, Jack Crawfords, and Frances Dollarhydes. Prepare for whiplash-- and next episode we're back to Disney Princesses with The Little Mermaid! (As soon as Andy's done moving) You're gonna love it! ---

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01:54:48

Hannibal Season 2

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/11/27

Happy Thanksgiving! And we have the most seasonally appropriate television show of all time, Hannibal, and its second season. We're joined by Mads superfan Gaelen again (from our Casino Royale episode). And Brooke is making a turkey dinner! The most f@#$ed up season of network television of all time. Mads lies about English fluency. We have our MCU Mads Mikkelson dream casting. The lighting! Lighting on Netflix. Brooke doesn't like the show. We eventually bully her into agreeing it's well done. Next

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01:17:35

Barfi!!

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/11/16

We're taking a break from serial murderers to celebrate Melissa's birthday-- and we're watching Barfi!! It's available on Netflix and is so beautiful. Don't listen to this episode, just go watch it! Then join us in the church of Barfi. Watch it here: https://www.netflix.com/title/70219525 We love this movie so much! Just trust us. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/message

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02:11:55

Hannibal Season 1

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/11/14

In a first, we're covering a tv show? And it's in so many ways better than some of the movies. Bryan Fuller. The triad of Hannibal, Will, and Jack. Freddy Lounds gender swapping. Get the kids out of the house to watch this show. Alana Bloom's growth as a character. GILLIAN ANDERSON, MVP OF EVERYTHING. That Mads Mikkelson tho. Next week-- BARFI!! Watch it on Netflix because it is amazing! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/message

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01:50:35

No Time To Die

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/11/03

Remember when we were a James Bond podcast? Well, here we are! The 25th official Bond movie (and technically the 49th episode of Season 1) and we're all here to talk about it. THERE ARE SPOILERS, and we talk about the ending very early on. We update our previous reviews from a few weeks ago. Rami Malek is still a weak villain. That ending and why the movie (and the series) doesn't work unless it ends that way. We stan Ana De Armas as Paloma. She is the new Sharkey. OF COURSE we talk about where the

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01:37:35

Red Dragon

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/10/18

It's the final Anthony Hopkins performance as Hannibal Lecter in the remake of Manhunter. Brett Ratner. Milli Vanilli biopic ideas. A wild Melissa appears! Is this movie better than Manhunter? Lesbian porn. Andy is pre-emptively cancelling himself and Mark. Next week is No Time to Die! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/message

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01:32:45

Candyman 2021 (and no spoilers quick No Time to Die!)

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/10/12

You can tell we were meh about this movie we took forever to talk about it. To hear about Candyman, go directly to minute 20. Before that? Intros. People are slinging fire on this episode. "Spin the Black Circle." Non-spoilery thoughts on No Time to Die range from meh to maybe the best Bond ever. Mark and Andy's excellent adventure seeing it in a theater. Finally, Candyman. There are good things to like in here, but it's not exactly put together right. Next week. . . Red Dragon? Or Bond? Who

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01:58:26

Free Guy

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/10/10

We take a weird random turn to talk about a movie about franchises versus new, original intellectual property. "Original" but not really? Are we living in a simulation? Movie theater experience. Albuquerque Boiled Turkey. Focus Groups. Next up, Candyman? Or maybe back to Bond? When do we get back to Hannibal? IT'S CHAOS. We don't know. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/message

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01:50:19

Hannibal

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/09/26

It's time for the eponymous episode. Misunderstanding Clarice Starling. The most dude-bro movie yet. Clarice the tv show. Hannibal is a dirty old man. How much worse this movie could've been. Wait until the Hannibal tv show. Thanks again to D9 for our music. Subscribe to his YouTube channel for fresh beats every day: https://www.youtube.com/c/D9Robot Next week, we return to the Tooth Fairy story with Red Dragon. --- Send in a voice message:

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01:53:25

The Silence of the Lambs

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/09/17

This isn't the first classy, Oscar-winning movie we've covered, even though Andy says it is. The boys are seeing a different Dr. Lecter than the women. Jack Crawford is a bad man. Andy has never seen Rambo II. We all idolize Hannibal too much and Claire Starling too little. Everyone gets to be smart. Emily Vanderwerff's article on why Silence of the Lambs is her favorite movie and why we shouldn't lock problematic movies behind content walls. Thanks to D9 for the music. Check out his youtube

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01:44:17

Manhunter

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/09/07

We hunted the man, and we found not only director Michael Mann, but also Mark! He's back to talk about why he loves Hannibal and tell us stories of the old days when he saw this movie in the theater and it only cost a nickel! Also Melissa and Brooke have no names in this episode and are only "Female Podcast Host 1 and 2" per Michael Mann's moviemaking directions. We also talk about Ted Lasso and Yellowstone and Dino de Laurentis. You're also going to want to stick around to hear the box office for

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01:32:42

Candyman: Farewell to Flesh and Day of the Dead...

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/08/30

These movies are terrible. But we explain exactly what happens in them? Sort of. Special thanks to D9 for the music in this episode. Also, news about what we're doing next! (Spoiler: it's Hannibal time! Next week, Michael Mann's Manhunter) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/message

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01:53:46

Candyman (1992)

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/08/26

Say his name five times in a mirror, and the Candyman will murder you. We really enjoyed looking back on this film before the new one comes out. Thanks, Brooke! Also thanks to Andy's brother Dan, aka D9, for his music! D9 wrote the theme song from Season 1 we used for our James Bond series, and now we're using his beats as the background theme music for this Candyman series and our upcoming Hannibal series. You can check out his music AND DAILY LIVESTREAMS on YouTube at

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01:35:23

Straight Talk and Joyful Noise

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/08/11

It's a Dolly Double Feature, but sadly these movie are not great. Andy's follow-up feelings on Ted Lasso. Melissa has gigabit internet. And calls JB "the James Woods of the podcast" and now we're fighting. Recasting James Woods? More musical numbers, please. More DOLLY please. "Fix Me, Jesus" is a song about the script. Next week-- CANDYMAN. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/message

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02:14:10

Summer Franchise Rundown Delta Variant Edition

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/08/03

Taking a break from Dolly to talk about what's keeping us sane and making us happy (or in a few cases confounded and angry) in all things franchises. We start with one of the biggest franchises of all: Superman. Why Superman and Lois is amazing television. Ted Lasso. Black Widow. MCU fatigue? Theaters? Space Jam. No, seriously, Brooke, this is the actual plot of Space Jam: A New Legacy. Jungle Cruise. What's worth going to theaters for? A few other things here and there. Our schedule for the rest of

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01:49:22

Steel Magnolias

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/07/26

Danielle joins us! You should watch her stream on Twitch at twitch.tv/thewitchofthewood. Both Brooke and Danielle have performed Steel Magnolias on stage. The sexual politics of this movie. The racial politics of this movie. The remake/does it need to be remade? Apologies for any editing issues in this episode. There were some technical glitches, but hopefully this works. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/message

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02:06:06

Rhinestone

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/07/11

RHINESTONE!! Roy and Jon join us from Yours, Mine, and Theirs: they reviewed this with Mark last year. Andy loves that episode because Mark flips tables over the Chuck Norris movie Top Dog. Listen to it here! We apologize that Mark is missing, but he shows up 47 minutes in! We also apologize for noisy children in our backgrounds. We won't say whose house this was, but we can all agree it's an improvement over Andy's fire alarm beeping. Cobra/Copland. Was that the biopic of composer Aaron Copland

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01:33:09

The Best Little *Podcast* in Texas

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye ·

2021/06/23

Content Warning: LANGUAGE. Steve Rogers would have a real problem with this episode. Folks, we've got a problem. We've got a WHOREHOUSE, right here in Texas! Based on the actual true events around the Chicken Ranch in La Grange, TX, instead we have singing and dancing, Dolly Parton, Burt Reynolds, and naked football player choreography! This episode brought to you by Greg Abbott and Ted Cruz. Not as dirty as we would've thought. PG movies with boobs - AIRPLANE!! (We use the phrase "cum dumpster"

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