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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:45

George and the weather

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/21

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He never checked the weather reports, so he frequently sailed into thunderstorms, hurricanes, and tsunamis. Or he'd be sleeping at an inn, and a big wave would wash the building a mile inland. "I paid for an oceanside view," complained a sopping-wet George to an equally sopping-wet innkeeper. "Now it's a mile walk to the docks?" George wrung out his clothes and hiked the mile back to his ship. Well, where he thought he'd left his ship. He hiked

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10:26

Weekly Challenge #1004 – Snot

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/20

RichardTom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Display, Poem, Background music, 158, Rockfall RICHARD --- Loser --- I sighed inwardly when the lad walked in, another no-hoper, without prospects. "Well boy, I understand Miss Jones has thrown you out of art class again. What do you say for yourself?" "Sorry sir" the boy sniffed, then used his sleeve to wipe the snot from his nose, "I just don't like art... or sport." I rubbed my eyes wearily. "So,

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1:33

George answers the survey

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/19

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. But the captain... now they weren't good at all. Every year, the captain sent out an anonymous survey. The responses were dismal. "I feel like my contributions are valued." Negative. "I feel like I have opportunities for career growth." Negative. "I feel like my work has meaning." Extremely negative. The captain fumed, threatening to make everyone walk the plank. "Then who will hold the plank?" asked George. George was the first forced to walk

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1:20

George gives a shit

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/18

George was a pirate, but he was in a very good pirate. If you asked him about that, I’d say don’t give a shit. Even though people constantly gave him shit over it, he never gave them shit back. Some would say that he couldn’t give two shits what you thought. But it wasn’t that he would give two shits, because he never gave one. One shit, two shits, it didn’t matter. George didn’t give a shit about not being a very good pirate, and that’s all that mattered. To tell you the truth, I don’t give a shit

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1:10

George the artist

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/17

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Instead of taking hostages and ransoming them off, he usually ended up befriending his captives and traveling the world with them. One was a young man from the French Navy who didn't speak French very well. He was whittling small sculptures out of wood and soapstone. "These are pretty good," said George. "Mind making one of me?" So, he did, that's how George wound up with an early Paul Gaugin sculpture. It's in a museum now. Well, in their

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1:31

George the porch pirate

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/16

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He lost his crew, he lost his ship, and he even lost his hat. His reputation kept him from getting hired by other pirates for their ships. He was reduced to stealing packages off of people's porches. But George wasn't a very good porch pirate either. His first heist was a trap, and the glitterbomb exploded in his face. "Welcome, Glitterbeard!" shouted everyone at the pub, laughing. The next heist was a delivery from Ikea. Miraculously, it was a

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1:37

George keeps a secret

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/15

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When pirates tell each other secrets, they get really fancy with their expressions. Like sinking something down in Davy Jones' Locker. Or the best way for three men to keep a secret is to kill two of them. George liked to say "Keep this under your hat." Which is where he kept his most important secret. Literally under his hat. So while he slept, his fellow pirates would take off his hat and read his secret. Which consisted of a little slip of

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1:14

George gets coronavirus

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/14

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. His adventures took him far and wide, and once he went to China. "This cave bat is delicious," he told the street vendor. "Can I have another?" That's how George caught the Coronavirus. He was feverish and coughing for days. Spreading the disease like wildfire. Authorities called for people to shelter in place, putting the world in a lockdown. "Plenty of opportunities to loot and pillage," wheezed the captain over the conference call. "Sure,"

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11:22

Weekly Challenge #1003 – Pawn

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/13

Richard Tom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Snot RICHARD Grandpa When grandpa retired, he was a rich man. He'd started small as a young man, and over the years, he'd created a mini empire of pawn shops. And the money came rolling in. He was an expert at valuations - or more accurately, he was an expert at acting. He could convince an expert that a diamond was glass, and gold was brass. You'd never know it. Such was the calibre of his acting. And,

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1:37

George eats hot dogs

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/12

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He was a pretty good competitive eater, though. Every Fourth of July, he'd sail to Coney Island to compete in Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. He'd soak the bun in water, chow it down, and then eat the meat. Repeat a few dozen times. The problem was, George would build a huge lead quickly, often breaking the record, only to vomit everything up and get disqualified. He changed his strategy to vomit all over the other contestants, trying to

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1:05

George and funerals

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/11

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. On his days off, he'd walk around the local cemeteries, looking for groups of people. The bigger the group, the better. "He was such a good man," he'd say to the widow, or whatever was appropriate for the deceased. "We knew each other in high school." Then, he'd grab a free lunch from the reception, stuffing his pockets with shrimp and other goodies. He'd also grab some flowers, because the ship needed some color, or to make a good impression

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9:37

Weekly Challenge #1002 – You’re not going

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/06

RichardTom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Pawn RICHARD --- Something blue --- "You're not going." She meant it. No negotiating. Mind made up. Still, there was no way I was going down without a fight. I was determined to make a stand. "C'mon" I pleaded, "it's a one-off. I won't get another shot at it. Surely I deserve one. Please?" It didn't work. "No! You'll spend the night gawking at strippers, get blind drunk and end up naked, tied to a lamppost at

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1:23

George and the container ship

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/05

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He'd been taking to long periods of melancholy and self-doubt. Or he'd obsess on the most esoteric things. "A container is a container because it contains things," said George. "If it's empty, is it still a container." "Well, it still contains nothing, right?" said the captain. "Yes, but nothing is nothing," said George. "I don't think it counts." "What if a container has the potential to contain things?" said George. As the two debated, their

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1:08

George’s consultants

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/04

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Consultants put together a focus group to figure out what was wrong with George. "Why doesn't he have an eyepatch?" said a housewife from Burbank. "And a peg leg. And a hook for a hand." "George is such a weak name," said a lawyer from Thousand Oaks. "Maybe some color of beard could be his name?" Others suggested that George be recast as a sidekick to a better pirate. They prepared a report for George, who threw it in the trash. Along with all

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1:22

George the social justice pirate

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/03

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He hadn't planned on becoming a pirate. He hadn't planned on eighty thousand dollars in student loans, either. All for a Bachelor's degree in Social Justice. Nobody would hire him. "What if you paid for me to get my Masters and PhD?" he'd ask the interviewers. Security escorted him out. George tried to organize protests against them, but nobody would join. "Call us when you have a Masters or PhD," said the ACLU. That night, George noticed some

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1:13

George review

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/02

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. His annual reviews reflected this, and George got "Needs Improvement" while other pirates got "Meets Expectations" or "Exceeds Expectations." George didn't get a raise or bonus, and he envied the other pirates for their fancy new gold teeth and shiny new cutlasses. Rummy Joe showed off his bright new parrot. "He speaks five languages," he said. George sighed and went back to work. He figured that whoever got killed, he'd just loot their body for

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1:17

George the brand

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/01

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. So he quit his job, started a supply company, and he sold high-quality equipment to ship captains. Pirates would then attack the ships and steal the supplies. He indirectly became the most popular brand of pirate supplies in the world. Pirates would proudly wear his George the Pirate gear, and civilian posers would buy it up to look cool, only for the pirates to steal. He started a chain restaurant franchise, built a theme park. Proudly shouting

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1:13

George on the moon

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/30

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He was always stopping and asking for directions. This was awkward at best, and dangerous at worst. Stopping in the middle of a battle for directions led to many unnecessary confrontations. Trying to make the best of it, the crew would board and capture the enemy vessels. One time, George got so lost, he wound up on the moon. Nobody's sure how he managed that, but the lack of air made it very hard to sail. And breathe. "Hard to starboard!"

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9:30

Weekly Challenge #1001 – PICK TWO The sparrow,...

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/29

RichardLisa Lizzie Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is You’re not going RICHARD --- Glen Talnara --- Sometimes you have to treat yourself, even if it means being extravagant. Everyone deserves to feel special every now and again. My treat? A forty year old, limited edition single malt. Lovingly distilled on a remote Scottish island, following a family tradition, centuries old. It wasn't cheap. Actually, it was eye- wateringly expensive, but I felt I deserved

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