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PODCAST

Delusions Of Grandeur

Emily Gadek & Kelly Jones

Emily and Kelly grew up before Star Wars returned to the big screen—when novels were fans" only hope. Now, they"re re-reading them with fresh eyes for plot twists, new characters, and surprisingly apt socio-political themes. Delusions of Grandeur is a podcast about the good, the bad, and the truly bizarre stories of the Star Wars novels.delusionspod.com

arts books

All Episodes

45:57

The Last Command Ch. 1-4

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/11/16

It’s the beginning of the thrilling conclusion to the Thrawn Trilogy! We’ve got CLONE MADNESS! - we’ve got Luke Skywalker learning from past mistakes! - we’ve got Wedge Antilles doing something called the “Cracken Twist” (???) - and we’ve got Mara Jade finding a hidden blaster in a library book (…she’s gonna need it!). Also: keep that Han Mail coming. The question of the week is: if Bel Iblis could take a BuzzFeed quiz, which historical figure would he be?

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68:30

Dark Force Rising Ch. 25-29

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/11/02

It’s the LAST EPISODE for this book! But in lieu of jokes about space agriculture or dreamy management styles, we’re asking you to lend your time and/or money to calling your reps and donating to relief organizations combatting the genocide in Palestine. Here are two options to get you started:American Friends Service CommitteePalestinian Children’s Relief Fund

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60:31

Dark Force Rising Ch. 21-24

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/10/19

We open on Jomark where Mara Jade and Joruus C’baoth are keeping the entire B&B awake with their shouting match in the courtyard. Zoom forward four days and Luke Skywalker gets to do a Death-Star-style-break-in-and-prisoner-heist redo (it’s the same, but in reverse!). And then…we get the incredible and dramatic conclusion of the Hongorian GRASS SAGA! Leia does a full-court Alderaanian royalty press. Chewbacca does some backseat Wookie science. And with their powers combined, 40-some years of

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44:44

Dark Force Rising Ch. 17-20

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/10/12

“Tall and tan and young and ANGRY / a woman named Mara Jade goes walking…” right into Thrawn’s clutches, unfortunately. Captured after a hilarious cloak-and-dagger mission in Space Portugal that involves a random Wedge Antilles cameo, Mara Jade spends these chapters reckoning with some hard truths, passing fashion exams with flying colors, and feeling guilty enough about getting Talon Karrde locked up that she decides to go ask Luke Skywalker for help…

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49:33

Dark Force Rising Ch. 13-16

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/10/05

In what is possibly our most philosophical/theological episode yet, we get into whether droids are categorically “Neat Little Guys” or “uncanny abominations” — we speculate about what the New Republic’s PR firm might be up to (now that we finally know it exists!) — we are thrilled to follow this galaxy’s own Belgian detective, Lando “Poirot” Calrissian on his upholstery-based investigations — and Grand Admiral Thrawn receives an intriguing telegram that leaves us on a cliffhanger.

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47:07

Dark Force Rising Ch. 9-12

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/09/28

Luke Skywalker is nowhere to be seen this week! Lando remains unimpressed while Han Solo meets his childhood hero: The Flying Dutchman, Space Edition.™ Thrawn arrives on the Noghri homeworld for tea and accusations. Leia and Chewie wake up in a locally owned artisanal bakery. And we GET INTO IT on the history of colonialist grasses, baby!! Once you’re done reading these chapters, get grass-pilled with a few Earth-related gems:California’s Lying Fields of Gold1493: Uncovering the New World Columbus

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51:10

Dark Force Rising Ch. 5-8

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/09/21

Mara Jade unenthusiastically trades the jungle for a bustling market in Space Morrocco. Talon Karrde shares a secret: he accidentally discovered the location of the infamous Katana Fleet — 200 super dope ships all tethered together by Bluetooth but which were thought to be “lost.” Joruus C’baoth is still around and still weird and still fascist. Han, Lando, and Luke get into MUCH CHICANERY on New Cov — a pharmaceutical planet that’s basically Little Shop of Horrors meets Bio-Dome (1996).

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61:21

Dark Force Rising Ch. 1-4

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/09/14

This week, we start off with Talon Karrde hiding behind the galactic equivalent of a lamppost—his love for the hot goss almost destroys him and his crew. Luke and Lando complete a neat side quest spurred by Lando’s excellent sense of smell and crafty negotiating tactics. An ambitious Bothan is trying to take down Admiral Ackbar with dirty money and sly interior decorating. WE GO BACK TO THE ARCHIVES, BABY, where we discover some weird stuff about the original Jorus C’Baoth. And Han Solo finally

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43:53

Heir to the Empire Ch. 27-32

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/08/24

It’s the thrilling conclusion to the first novel of the Thrawn Trilogy! And it has answers to all the most pressing questions raised so far: what else was Palpatine keeping in his secret mountain lair (besides his diaries and a crazy ‘bonuus’ dark Jedi) and how will Thrawn put it to use? What happens when you cover Luke Skywalker in poison ivy? Why does Wedge Antilles drink SO MUCH tea? Join us as we say goodbye to Myrkr and—by the law of plot devices—end up in the Sluis Van Shipyards with literally

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56:33

Heir to the Empire Ch. 22-26

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/08/17

Inside you, there are two wolves. One wolf realizes that he’s on a planet that cuts people off from the Force and—even though he’s camping out in a deadly jungle with a woman whose life’s ambition is to murder him—he decides to take a nap about it. The other wolf is actually that very same murder-y woman whose survival instincts tell her to pop amphetamines and stay awake for three days straight. Somehow, both of the wolves are also eldest daughters. Listen, okay: it’s a metaphor for Luke Skywalker

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45:57

Heir to the Empire Ch. 17-21

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/08/10

True confession: I spend way too much time browsing Galactic Zillow looking at planets I can’t afford and honestly it’s a toss-up between Kashyyyk and Myrkr. On the one hand: a badass jungle where Wookies (who regularly disarm other beings—and I mean DIS-arm!) are the cuddliest residents. On the other: a mostly forested smuggler’s paradise where you get decent healthcare and no Jedi will ever bother you. All that is to say: there’s not a lot of Thrawn in this week’s chapters, but there’s still so

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46:36

Heir to the Empire Ch. 12-16

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/08/03

Why is it that everyone always decides to pay Lando a visit a) at the most inconvenient time and b) at the SAME time?! Poor scoundrel (we love him). This week: Han Solo’s study abroad buddy gets robbed—Leia and Luke solve an interesting Yoda-related conundrum—C3P0 gets a non-consensual ‘upgrade’—and Grand Admiral Thrawn deduces the best way to get a fox, a chicken, and a sack of grain across a river…but like, Space Edition.™

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44:41

Heir to the Empire Ch. 6-11

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/07/27

This week, Luke very capably fends off some Jedi-nappers—proving once again that he’s meant for the field and not for EITHER middle management OR academia. Leia is starting to use her Force abilities a little more here and there—first for a very funny pretend jewelry robbery and then to detect a FAKE MILLENNIUM FALCON! We’ve got ourselves some Wedge Watch; Thrawn does an epic and (more importantly) well-written space battle; and as always, please don’t ever forget that Mara Jade is angry about

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43:41

Heir to the Empire Ch. 1-5

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/07/20

It's finally here, the one you've been waiting for: the first of Timothy Zahn's original Thrawn trilogy Heir to the Empire. We've got THE MOST competent bad guy (a regular Space Napoleon) who can predict his opponents' maneuvers by studying their art. Good thing Uncle Owen never paid for Luke to go off to Tosche Station for that pottery class...

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52:19

Interlude: Tales From The Mos Eisley Cantina I

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/07/13

Sit back. Relax. Let us pour you a tall glass of cool blue milk as we spin fascinating yarns about some of the galaxy’s most villainous scum—and how they came to frequent a certain wretched hive. That’s right: we’re unpacking the first six stories in Tales From The Mos Eisley Cantina. We’ve got mistaken identities, townhouse robberies, and sentient trees. And who would’ve thought that Greedo’s story would be the most tragic thing we’ve ever read? Or that two of these stories seem eerily similar to

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51:55

The Courtship of Princess Leia Ch. 21-27

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/07/06

THE EXCITING CONCLUSION* to this novel has arrived! Han Solo botches a mission to sacrifice himself for the greater good and loses a great number of molars in the process. Luke Skywalker is paired with his soulmate, R2D2, for a romantic rancor ride and makes a meaningful connection with a lizard. And Leia finally chooses who she wants to marry—a decision not based on diplomacy or love, necessarily, but mostly based on whose pants fit best. *We would say "climax," but let's be real. There's none of

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43:21

The Courtship of Princess Leia Ch. 16-20

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/06/29

This week, our heroes are doing some sexy cave camping; arguing over who they get to sit next to on their rancor field trip; breaking INTO prison via berry-picking hoppers; and trying (unsuccessfully) to unhear C3P0’s original multi-versed ballad about Han Solo. That instant classic is either an homage to the Star Wars galaxy’s Frank Sinatra—or Dave Wolverton listened to a lot of Salt-N-Pepa in the mid-90s, who can say? Delusions of Grandeur: come for the promise of courtship, stay for the unhinged

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61:11

The Courtship of Princess Leia Ch. 11-15

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/06/22

The galaxy’s hottest club is…Dathomir. Literally everyone is crash landing there (on purpose, for some reason?). There’s an evil warlord in the skies and warring witches riding rancors on the ground. Luke has been hiding a maxi dress in his jumpsuit THIS WHOLE TIME. Han is captured but actually kind of enjoys being put to work fishing freaky Tremors/Dune worms out of beer-filled holes in the ground. And despite this book having Leia in the title, we hear surprisingly little from her in these (and

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40:47

The Courtship of Princess Leia Ch. 6-10

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/06/15

OH BOY. This is where things really take a turn for the absolute worst. Han Solo makes all of the galaxy's worst decisions, from the innocuous—asking C3P0 for relationship advice—to the insane—zapping his on-the-rocks-girlfriend with a mind control ray, stuffing her in a smuggling compartment with no oxygen, and flying her to a planet blockaded by a vicious warlord. Coooool. Cool cool cool.It's enough to make one pull a Padmé (aka just...die of sadness). Transcript here.

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41:51

The Courtship of Princess Leia Ch. 1-5

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2023/06/08

**New Novel Alert!** Join us as we (somewhat willingly) return to the book that answers the pressing question, “Did Princess Leia and Han Solo end up getting married? How did that…happen?” The first five chapters feature a lot of really hot, deeply cis and celibate people trying to do diplomacy; a trip to a Jedi archive in a bombed-out bunker where we discover some hard truths about Yoda; Han Solo winning a planet in a game of Space Poker; and some foreshadowing of the toxic masculinity to come.

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