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PODCAST

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction

Sam Tielemans, LMFT

Break free from pornography and rebuild the trust in your relationship. Hosted by licensed marriage therapist Sam Tielemans, Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction is your go-to podcast for overcoming porn addiction, restoring emotional and sexual intimacy, and healing after betrayal trauma in your marriage. Each episode offers practical tools, relationship advice, and real stories of men and couples navigating the path of porn recovery and restoring your marriage. Whether you’re just starting

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All Episodes

24:02

153: When She's Hurt By Him Looking at Women in Public

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/07/18

Going out into public can create a lot of anxiety for both a husband and wife.She's worried about who he's looking at and what he's thinking about, and he's worried about her getting triggered and feels anxious not knowing what to do or how to help her. In this episode, I share with a few specific things that you can do to address this issue to help build security in your relationship. If objectification has been a problem, I also share tools to help you break those patterns and overcome the

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26:59

152: 3 Things to Jumpstart Marriage Repair

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/07/11

If you had to get to the other side of a mountain, would you rather take a tunnel through it or climb all the way up and around it?It still takes effort and intention to get to the other side, but one path is far more streamlined. In this episode I share with you 3 things that can help take you through the tunnel when it comes to repairing your relationship. There isn't a one size fits all approach when it comes to restoring your marriage and overcoming pornography, but there are principles that

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28:00

151: From Grief, Sadness, and Hurt to Healing and...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/07/04

When pornography use is discovered in a relationship, there is often a lot of grief and hurt that surfaces.Shock about how this could have happened. Feeling stuck in pain not knowing how to make sense of it. And grief about what the relationship once was and uncertain about how to move forward. In this episode I share a few specific ways to approach grief, sadness, and hurt that enables healing and closure from the past. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate

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23:55

150: He’s a Source of Pain AND a Source of Comfort

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/06/27

After pornography use, a husband becomes a source of pain as well as a source of comfort for his wife. this can be such a confusing place for both people to be.Sometimes she doesn't want to be around him at all, but other times she needs him close and for him to provide reassurance. As a man, oftentimes he doesn't know what to say or how to help so he ends up giving space when really what she needs is his support. In this episode, I share with you specific things that you can do in order to turn

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18:52

149: A New Twist On Identify and Resolving Underlying...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/06/20

Understanding and resolving the underlying issues that lead pornography use is essential. Without addressing the root cause, you're bound to continue to struggle with triggers and temptations. Announcement!!! Trust is a critical part of rebuilding your relationship after pornography use has damaged it So, I decided to do a special trust building workshop, where for 90 minutes I’ll be doing a deep dive and sharing with you specific steps you can take, tools you can implement, and practical ways that

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27:00

148: 5 Signs That the Trust in Your Marriage is...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/06/13

Announcement!!!Trust is a critical part of rebuilding your relationship after pornography use has damaged it So, I decided to do a special trust building workshop, where for 90 minutes I’ll be doing a deep dive and sharing with you specific steps you can take, tools you can implement, and practical ways that you can rebuild trust in your relationship. There are 2 ways to access the training - it's on my website for $97 or you can access it for free by joining my free online community where I'll be

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26:15

147: Tools to Help Your Relationship Progress If She...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/06/06

Announcement!!!Trust is a critical part of rebuilding your relationship after pornography use has damaged it. So, I decided to do a special trust building workshop, where for 90 minutes I’ll be doing a deep dive and sharing with you specific steps you can take, tools you can implement, and practical ways that you can rebuild trust in your relationship. Before I offer the workshop for sale, I’m doing the live version of it for free. If that sounds interesting, you can join by registering

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56:46

146: Success Story: Braden Shares the 5 Specific...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/05/30

Have you ever felt so hopeless and discouraged as you've tried to quit pornography that you thought that there's no way out?Despite how hard you've tried, you just haven't been able to get this problem out of your life. This is how Braden felt before we started to work together. He tried everything he possibly could, but it still didn't work. After discovering there is a new way he could approach quitting pornography, it gave him hope to try one more time. In this conversation, Braden outlines the

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23:24

145: When It’s Hard to Work On Your Marriage and...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/05/23

Pornography use damages a relationship in deep and significant ways.Trust is broken and her wall goes up. The idea of forgiveness can feel impossible to offer, and a husband feels despair wondering if they’ll ever move on from the past and find closure. This episode I share with you how you can navigate this painful situation in a way that will feel comfortable for both of you. While forgiveness is an important step, when and how you focus on, it makes all the difference. For therapy with Sam: I

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32:18

144: 5 Signs She’s Feeling Betrayal Trauma (And How...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/05/09

When a woman discovers her husband's pornography use, her whole world gets turn upside down. Oftentimes she now thinks that everything was a lie. Their whole relationship was fake. They don't even know who their husband is anymore. Given how much damage is done, many women experience what's called betrayal trauma. In this episode I share with you the 5 indicators that a woman is experiencing betrayal trauma, then I share with you three specific things that you can do to address it together. For

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20:54

143: How to Avoid Pornography If Your Spouse Leaves...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/05/03

When a spouse is gone for the day or weekend and a man is all alone, it's a common trigger.In this episode I share 3 specific things you can do to make sure that those periods of being alone won't cause another setback. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Go to stopporn.info for more information about

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53:58

142: Success Story: Freedom After 30 Years of...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/04/25

Change is 100% if you have the right ingredients. In today's episode, I want to introduce to you a man who has found success, and 2 years later, he continues to to do well, have a strong marriage, and help other people in their struggles with quitting porn. This path can I often feel discouraging and depressing because most men experience countless failures and setbacks along the way. The common thread is that men just don't know what to do to eliminate their problem, despite putting in effort and

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25:23

141: Why a Husband Avoids Initiating Conversations...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/04/18

Initiating conversations can be very difficult for a husband to do.If his wife is in a good mood, he doesn’t want to bring up the pain all over again. If she's in a bad mood, he doesn't want to cause a fight or make things worse. Thus, he avoids the conversations with her and she ends up feeling unseen, unloved, and all alone. In this episode, I share with you specific ways you can address this situation so you can have very productive conversations without fighting and create closure and

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27:50

140: When Shame and "Self Pity" Dissolves Connection...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/04/11

How do the conversations go when you talk about her pain?Do they end with you feeling closer or further apart? Do you feel hopeless and inadequate, not knowing what to say to help her feel comforted? For a wife, not getting the understanding and validation she needs creates hurt and anger, and the conversations just stall out leaving them both alone. In this episode I share with you one of the main reasons why that happens and 2 things you can implement to change that dynamic. For therapy with

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20:25

139: When a Wife Brings Up Her Husband's Lack of...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/04/04

Have you ever gotten into an argument with your spouse where you're talking about specific actions that he's committed to do but then doesn't follow through?For a wife, it can feel really frustrating if there’s a lack of follow through because she often receives that as him not being committed or caring enough. For a husband, it can be frustrating because if he’s working on things but then feels picked apart and like his efforts aren’t enough This leads to shutting down and distance. So in today’s

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29:08

138: The Top 3 Ways to Kill Your Chances of Having a...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/03/29

"We've been spinning our wheels for 9 months... I'm in a worst place now than the day I discovered everything."A couple reached out to me a few hours before recording this episode. They were both discouraged and frustrated add the slow pace of the process of healing. No matter what they did, she just felt stuck and like she couldn't move forward because some key things in their approach were missing. In this episode I share with you the top 3 things that can cause significant damage in a

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19:45

137: How Long Does It Take to Repair A Marriage After...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/03/21

This road to healing your marriage can be agonizing. So many people wonder how long will this take? They feel like they might not be able to hold on much longer.The good news is that it’s actually not based on a specific timeline or a number of years. Rather it’s based on how quickly you can learn the skills that you need to have new experiences together. Some couples can feel like they are in a completely different place in just a matter of weeks because they focus on learning the skills

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18:49

136: How Long Do We Need To Keep Talking About It?

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/03/14

After the discovery of pornography use, it shatters the foundation of the entire relationship. Naturally, it becomes the center of most conversations as you try to resolve the issues and pain it causes.Then after you start making some progress, many couples wonder how long they need to keep talking about things? They often tend to have the same conversations over and over again, so they wonder what the next steps are and when they can move forward without always talking about it. In this episode, I

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22:30

135: She Found Out He Was Hiding A Slip… Now What?

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/03/07

March 18th: Join the free 5 Day 'Overcome Your Urges' Challenge to get tools to resolve the root cause of your urges so you can eliminate them instead of resisting them.-- Episode Summary -- Couples can very easily get stuck when a husband has a slip up, acts like things are normal, and then his wife finds out that he searched for something and didn’t tell her. This can cause a wife to spiral into distrust, self protection, anger and fear all over again and it has such a big impact on

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24:34

134: He Thinks He's Making Progress Helping Her Feel...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/02/29

It can be very discouraging when there is a mismatch between husband and wife, and how they view their progress.If hey husband thinks he's making strides towards creating safety and rebuilding trust, but the wife doesn't agree, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and lose hope. This episode, I share three specific things you can do to get on the same page together with your partner and create safety. There are some activities that move the needle more than others. So in this episode I talk about the ones

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