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PODCAST

No Crying In Baseball

When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you"ll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman"s best friend, and there"s no crying in baseball.

sports baseball

All Episodes

60:47

Drink a Beer and Eat a Hot Dog with Junior

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/07/23

Welcome to Junior Pottymouth, sitting in for Patti who is hiding out in the mountains for a week. Junior’s bf Gunnar (you may have heard of him) and Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball league legend Jordan Westberg combine for one of those stats you can’t believe people track. Pottymouth dazzles with Elly Math, and Bobby Witt just keeps hitting since the all star break. Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball league legend James Outman is Back, Man. Pottymouth’s former bf Jarren Duran brings home the ASG

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57:53

Lucky, or Sexy?

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/07/17

Better late than never as we squeeze this episode in between the Derby and the ASG. Will, Andres, and Zach do Patti proud with defense that may be lucky but is definitely sexy. Jarren Duran has the f*ck ‘em shirt (and soon Pottymouth will too) but Vaughn has the f*ck ‘em attitude. Kiké is on the bump trash talking Kyle from Waltham, while Kevin and Whit are on the outs. Wander Franco solidifies his spot on the NCiB no-fly list and there’s no coming back. Do you want to own a baseball team?

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66:59

You Can Keep Your Points, Man, I’m Right

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/07/09

West Coast Correspondent Deborah brings her field report from an Oakland Ballers game where it’s always Grateful Dead night, and has Patti wishing for a guest announcing gig. Even in Pottymouth’s absence we check in on Jarren Duran and his f*ck em shirt, and Elly getting all team-matey. MJ Melendez gets the Dynasty Card of his dreams from local fans, Jack Suwinski helps PNC Park run out of home run fireworks. Everything is Just Fine on Deborah’s fantasy team because of Max Fried, a welcome

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58:42

Hold Your Guffaws, It Gets Worse

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/07/02

We puzzle through giving benefit of the doubt, trusting one’s gut, and considering suspect timing, plus steaming nose emojis when evaluating the off the field actions of players. Jackson Chourio is hot and Pottymouth is here for it. OMG, José Iglesias! Patti’s new pitcher Gavin Stone nearly has a Maddux, We learn what auto body skills have to do with custom cleats – thanks to Bryson Stott. Our police blotter ensures that we will always be a little afraid of ballpark escalators, and amused

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71:10

Oaky, With a Hint of Grimace

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/06/25

Like a fine single malt scotch, this super-sized episode is packed with sophisticated flavors. We honor the passing of Willie Mays by sharing his legacy through words and not numbers. We look at the first steps that are the Rickwood Field game with the first all-Black umpire team, through the eyes of Masyn Winn, one of the few Black players on the game’s roster, and how far we have to go. In our boyfriend segment we note numerous names on the IL, gigantic hits, and a tiny, adorable

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57:28

Summer Pottymouth Mode

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/06/18

Jonah and José spend Father’s Day weekend shoring up their Dad power. Masyn and Joey have us rethinking our ROY predictions. More of Patti’s pitchers hit the IL, and Pottymouth admits to over-gloating. That’s a real thing. Well-respected umpire Pat Hoberg is the first official to run afoul of MLB’s sports betting rules but he does not think that’s the case. On the happy betting side, Toronto’s 50/50 raffle is changing lives. The Cards crosstrain with the NBA, and Curt Miller, head coach of

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56:40

That Spring and Boing and the Power

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/06/11

Join us as we math it out, suss it out, and legitimately incorporate the phrase “Tequila Shots” into a sports discussion. Pottymouth’s roster has an abundance of Ellys and a teaching moment about catching home runs in a full beer. Her recent history is dotted with Dodgers Hernandi, one for heroics, one for the dangers of being mic’d up while at work. Patti’s team has a pitcher getting booed in Yankee Stadium for all the right reasons, and a late roster add coming through big. Bfs past

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50:07

The New MVP of Record

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/06/04

Josh Gibson finally gets his due as greatest hitter of all time, now let’s name the award after him. Stats from the Negro Leagues are finally integrated into the MLB stats and we see how opportunity affects counting stats vs rate stats. Winn and Volpe snap some streaks and in one case we end up with a DiMaggio sandwich. We lose more bfs to the IL – Grissom is back out, Means and Wells are season-ending out. Patti is grateful Yoshinobu is holding his own and her closer is back. Joey Gallo

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53:20

Tip Your Servers

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/05/28

We share important life lessons from the wide world of baseball, including, keep your popcorn close, watch the rebound, and tipping the bullpen cart driver is good karma. Patti risks killing streaks by bringing up CLE wins and Volpe hits. Former NCiB boyfriends give Pottymouth a chance to talk about her favorite play, stealing home. LaMonte Wade, Jr takes the upcoming Rickwood Field game honoring the Negro Leagues as a chance to talk representation right now. Are the Birmingham Southern

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51:01

Illegal, Therefore Against the Law

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/05/21

In which we pin down math around catching foul balls, our medical thoughts of pregnancy vs belly button rings (congrats to Cole Tucker and Vanessa Hudgens BTW), and our astute observation that betting with an illegal bookie is illegal whether it’s on baseball or not. It’s in the name. Elly continues to exceed expectations, Vaughn does not but maybe if he eats a sandwich things will kick in. Alan Rickman and Adley Rutchsman combine for Patti’s favorite homerun call. We learn that it doesn’t

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60:50

Very Fact-Adjacent

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/05/14

Welcome to West Coast Corresponded Deborah, filling in for Patti who is off celebrating our intern’s graduation. Deborah’s bfs are making up for lack of bats with all the steals. Elly continues to climb the all time steal boards, and Zack Short becomes Zack Short Stay. Willson Contreras’ injury leads to some choices about how to avoid catcher interference dangers – robo umps? Catcher’s box? How ‘bout that other Contreras, leading the Brewers? Paul Skenes debuts to comparisons to Stras,

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51:09

Catastrophic Seam Failure

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/05/07

It’s the Cinco de Mayo episode where the limes are organic and the salt is Kosher. Pottymouth’s Vaughn Grissom watch is rewarded, Luis lights it up, and Maysin makes her roster. For Patti, John Means business and Jack Suwinski can sure time a hit. Josés are in trouble and just when you think he can’t achieve any more firsts, Judge gets ejected. Did you see that Luis Arráez trade coming? We sure did not. The Police Blotter teaches us the difference between Community Labor and Community

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47:50

Defense is Sexy: The Cocktail

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/04/30

As we lament the boyfriends we did not select for our fantasy teams, we observe Passover with mezcal. Should we have gone with Logan O’Hoppe and Joey Ortiz? Solid maybe. Mike Tauchman and the oppo Tauchos? Unrelated to the Mexico series tacos, of course. Patti’s guys Zach, Will, and Evan are crushing the multi-hit games, and Pottymouth favorite Elly is on track for a ridiculous number of stolen bases (Pottymouth’s math is SOLID.) LAD pitching is not just crazy good, it is death-defying

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46:21

Boosers, Closers, and the Yeet

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/04/23

Kenley Jansen and Craig Kimbrel are climbing to the top of the all time saves list so the takeaway is don’t yeet the ball from the last out. Looking at you, Colton “more cowbell” Cowser. Andrew hits homer #300, Adley hits grand slam #1, and Josh hits his head. On purpose. Neto can’t get a day off, Oswaldo can but Pottymouth says please don’t – or maybe yes? Elly remains good at baseball, and Patrick is finally off the IL. Patti loves the collaborative “people’s celly” of the BAL hydration

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46:59

If We Took a Holliday

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/04/16

Our first visit to OPACY this season was an anticipated debut, a miracle of (not)rain, and a much heralded yet underwhelming Jackson vs Jackson smackdown. And lots of attention to the number seven. Elly has us considering a road trip to CIN, and Vaughn makes us think Worcester is nice this time of year. Zach has six runs to his credit in only one game, but the wrong direction. Spencer is down for the count but now we know more about internal braces, so there’s that. Brianna Wakefield’s

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46:53

Bullies, Bastards, and Boneheads

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/04/09

We workshop the LMB acronym to account for the Mexican League signing players of questionable character. We aren’t just yanking Verdugo’s chain, we are teaching you valuable vocabulary in multiple languages. We review your four options when you catch a home run ball during a game, starting with It Belongs To You. A little over a week in and our guys with slow starts are getting the bats in gear. We’ve got home runs bouncing off gloves and walls, we’ve got new nicknames (Turn and Burn

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62:09

Spikes

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/04/02

Welcome to Season 8 of No Crying in Baseball! Join us as we laugh, fight, make (probably) terrible predictions, and drink beer from the North (and the northeast). Pottymouth is team Jeff, and Patti is team Rhys and everything gets back to Dustin and Manny. We talk Opening Day – Did Patti write the talking points for the new Os ownership? She’s definitely shopping for a Maryland Tough Baltimore Strong tee shirt. Tyler is Pottymouth’s new best friend and she is feeling good about her Oswaldo

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64:34

What Did Shohei Know and When Did He Know It?

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/03/26

As we head to Opening Day, we bring you our fantasy lineups, walk you through the whole Ohtani kerfuffle, and Optimist Patti enjoys her new nickname. Blake Snell finds a team at last, while Francisco Lindor and Edwin Diaz make a video showing their love for Puerto Rico. Optimist Patti makes a pro/con list for Peter Angelos. There are no winners. Our Police Blotter, in addition to a primer on MLB gambling rules for players and staff, highlights TB’s (not Tampa Bay’s) alternate Spring

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64:06

Fresh Like Milk, Aged Like Wine

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/03/19

In a weakened moment of falling for Pottymouth logic, Patti agrees to a change in our fantasy team rules and we select pitchers from two teams instead of just one. Pottymouth shares her picks from the Mariners and Phillies, and Patti goes Dodgers/Orioles. We don’t think Josh Winckowski’s excuse will get you out of jury duty but it worked for him, sort of. What’s a “brace procedure” and why are we just hearing of this? The Rancho Cucamonga Quakes allow Pottymouth to teach us more Spanish

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67:20

Smooth as Mayo

No Crying In Baseball ·

2024/03/12

In our last week of profiling position players, or “Adley Day” in Patti’s world, we pick our guys from the Os and ATL. For BAL, Ryan O’Hearn gets the Pottymouth nod with an extra point for Bull Durham, while Patti sticks with her once and forever catcher. For The Hammers, Patti picks spring training standout Eli White and Pottymouth corrects a wrong while selecting Orlando Arcia. Joey finds a home at home, bad boy Josh retires, Mookie heads to short, and Lance gets tossed from the dang

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444 results

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