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PODCAST

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

The world"s biggest and most ridiculous War and Peace podcast. British comedians Will and Steve do battle with the greatest book of all time.

arts books

All Episodes

35:31

S3E6. Inside The Letterbox

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/06/17

These days we think nothing of receiving a sick gif from great grandma Bing, or a wicked TikTok from second uncle Pepe. There's no limit to the number of dope memes pinging live into our notification zones, hot and fresh from friends far and wide. Back in 1805 though, Tikhon was the closest you came to TikTok, and if you wanted to see Count Rostov doing that funny dance, you had to knock on his door.But that doesn't mean they had no excitement whatsoever, far from it. Join us this week as

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30:11

S3E5. The Mary Marry Mystery Moment

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/06/10

Might Mary maybe marry? And Anatole... an angel awaits?Naysayer Nasty Nick needs "NO!"Tikhon turnip turtle train... OK, enough of the amazing alliteration. There's mystery aplenty in this week's episode: someone has a tail, there's irrefutable proof of a superpower and Mary's fate is finally fettled, sorry, settled!Mary, is it a 'YES!' or a 'NO!" You won't believe the answer. ///patreon.com/wapin7 - Support the podcast!wapin7.com/rate

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30:44

S3E4. Treachery At The Clavichord

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/06/03

Dearest Listener,You are cordially invited to the 1805 FATHER OF THE YEAR awards, recognising some of the most incredible, selfless and thoughtful fathering from the past twelve months. Taking place at the famous Sad Mansion, this year's gala will be an unforgettable event - with catering from the renowned McTurtle Food Corp™, music from the triple platinum Gravy Boaters, plus of course the incredibly moving stories from our Father Of The Year Nominees:Prince Vasíli Kurágin - Proud father to

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36:48

S3E3. There's Snow Business Like Sad Business!

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/05/27

We're back at Sad Mansion and there really is snow way out. It's time to arrange another wedding, so let's really dial up the sad-ometer! Nasty Nick is back and he is positively piste! His angry sneezes are seconds away from causing an avalanche of misery. Will he succeed in making everyone in the house cry? Will he pull off the biggest prank of the entire book? Will Marry smile? Will Vasili inch closer to Space Mountain? Will the pretty pregnant Princess start a successful fashion

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32:18

S3E2. Daddy's Off To Disneyland

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/05/20

You know the feeling - your bags are packed, you've triple checked the passports, your pockets are stuffed with travel ham. This is going to be the best holiday ever. But as your horse drawn taxi clatters toward the airport a terrible sensation creeps up your spine.What have you forgotten?You took the bear to the bear sitter, check. Household gas and electricity supply doesn't exist yet, it can't be that. Snuff boxes? They've all been sorted alphabetically, all good.Out of the

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34:08

S3E1. King of The Bed Toilet - Book 3 Begins!

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/05/13

Sick and tired of having grapes shot at you all day? Fed up of cheese rolls and barefooted handsome psychopaths? Are you longing for your old life of decadence? A life of seemingly endless and interchangeable social gatherings? A life full of turtle-based snacks and unforgettable anecdotes from the freshest diplomatists that Russia has to offer? Are your hands really massive and red? Do you need a wife? DO YOU WANT A WIFE?!If you answered 'YES!' to any of these questions, we think

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49:23

S2E16. Special: Lord of the Flies - Chapter 1

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/04/29

This week we're giving Tolstoy a well earned rest - while he enjoys a Turkish pipe and a nice hot bath, we're diving head first into the blue, blood-warm waters of William Golding's Lord of the Flies.Lauded alongside War and Peace as one of the greatest books of all time, Lord of the Flies finally answers the age old question 'should society be exclusively run by small children?'A bunch of boys crash land on a desert island, within minutes they've founded a small

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56:41

S2E15. Book 2 Catch-Up Quiz

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/04/15

You've finished Book 2 of War and Peace! Take a bow. The crowd are chanting your name! "YOU ARE SO DIPLOMAT <YOUR NAME>!" They scream and cry.Flowers fall from the sky. You wipe a single tear from your cheek and take a triumphant bite of delicious ham. If you've been with us from the start, or are but a simple traveller on the literary podcast highway looking for a refresh of Book 2 of the greatest book ever, take a seat. Grab a pen, fluff a pillow and get ready to

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38:37

S2E14. Liar, Liar, Naked Man By The Fire - Book 2...

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/04/08

Hi Will, I've just been going through the official WAPIN7 End of Book Checklist, and I'm pleased to say today's episode really has got it all:✅ Intense dramatic tension✅ New horse x 1✅ Andy Pandy mic droppin' all over the shop✅ Incredible literary prose✅ Multiple descriptions of HANDS✅ Unbelievable displays of military incompetence ✅ Minor arguments about shoes and logs✅ AT LEAST ONE naked manAnyway, just wanted to say it's been great to make this season with you - despite

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33:11

S2E13. Suddenly!

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/04/01

SuddenlyAdverbquickly and without warning; unexpectedlyWill was perfectly summarising a chapter of War and Peace when suddenly Steve interjected and told him off for saying “‘suddenly” too much. Will, like the hapless General, turned purple with rage and was about to defend his honour when SUDDENLY -Be honest, you’re extremely intrigued to find out what happens next. ///tolstoy@wapin7.com - Email us or send us something!wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Leave a rating or

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32:44

S2E12. It Has Continued!

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/03/25

Goodbye, Darren, my old friendYou were a horsey to the endYou softly galloped on your sweet hoovesThe bravest friend that we could ever loseI have a vision, of you nibbling on some hayIn the skyWithin the barn of silence.Read the full eulogy: https://wapin7.com/episode/42-it-has-continued ///tolstoy@wapin7.com - Email us or send us something!wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Leave a rating or review!instagram.com/wapin7podcast/ - Follow us on Instagram!WAPIN7.com - Join the newsletter & visit

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31:16

S2E11. It Has Begun!

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/03/18

You'd be forgiven for thinking the beginning of the book was the beginning - oh how naive you are! 41 chapters in and now it's really time to get things started.The horses are primed, the ham supplies are looking good and the cannon balls have been mopped to perfection.One thing we hadn't thought of was the requirement of an extremely well dressed Accountant...Now that he's here, calculator in hand, there's really only one thing left to say -ItHasBegun! ///tolstoy@wapin7.com

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28:25

S2E10. Climbing The Success Pyramid

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/03/11

Do you want to be SUCCESSFUL? Do you want to be IMPRESSIVE, FAMOUS and ATTRACTIVE?Do you want to be heroically KILLED BY GRAPE SHOT?If the answer to any of these questions is 'YES I DO', 'PERHAPS' or 'NOT REALLY' then WAPIN7's Climbing The Success Pyramid is the hot new motivational book for YOU.Learn why the most successful people only ever wear denim, how epigrams can make you look smart, and how your pre-existing connections, influence and money can get you what

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30:48

S2E9. War OR Peace?

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/03/04

You know the saying, "War and Peace go together like birds of a feather". Birds have lots of feathers, you see, and a bird would not actually be legally called a bird if it had no feathers... Which is a lot like war and peace when you think about it. I mean, when you really think about it. Can you ever truly have peace without having some war? Does war inevitably always lead to peace? Is there a bird that exists in the wild without feathers, and if so, will it declare an unstoppable

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30:55

S2E8. We're Totally Macked

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/02/25

Andy Pandy, aged 20¼Tuesday 19th November, 1805Bilibin's house, Brunn, AustriaDear Diary, I'M SO EXCITED I CAN BARELY SLEEP! Tomorrow I'm going to see the Emperor (finally!) and I'm going to tell him all about my amazing victory! I've brushed my whole uniform so I'll look 'totally on fleek as heck' (that's one of my fresh new epigrams I'm trying to coin haha). Bilibin is a really cool guy actually, he's the head of a gang here 'Les

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35:04

S2E7. Wrinkle In The Plan

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/02/18

We've all seen The Mighty Ducks or that film with the bobsleighs or that one with all the karate kicking... You know how it goes. Just as it looks like you'll never be able to bobsleigh really well, or do the best karate kick at the karate kick competition, a montage sequence begins to play. Eye of Tiger is turned up to 10 and then, without warning, your team of ducks perform the best karate kick the world has ever seen!As your team of super ducks triumphantly raise you into the air, you

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33:41

S2E6. Grapes of Wrath

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/02/11

You know the feeling - you've got half a dozen flat screen TVs strapped to your horse, a sack of bargain quinoa on your back, and a massive smile on your face - you absolutely smashed Black Friday and now you're on your way home for a relaxing beef tea. That's when you stop. Your eyes go wide. Darren lets out an uneasy snort. As 12 TVs fall to the floor, and quinoa fills the street you realise you've made a huge mistake: you've completely forgotten to buy grapes, and it

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29:09

S2E5. Stuck On The Ham Highway

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/02/04

Your excitement is palpable; you've shaved, brushed your teeth and slathered yourself in the finest perfume money can buy. Holding your head high you take your place in the queue. You want that discount ham. You deserve it! You have a drink to steady your nerves. The queue grows uncontrollably. People appearing as if from nowhere. The crush begins. You try to escape but you're stuck!That's when the first cannon ball flies past your head...Is this Black Friday or are you at war in the

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31:57

S2E4. Pies Wide Shut

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/01/28

Waging a successful military campaign isn't just about shiny buttons, impressive marching formations, and ensuring your troops are incredibly rested and relaxed. Sometimes you need an extra special something to turn your fighting boys into fighting men... sometimes you need Pies. Yes, pies. Join us this week as we discover how the humble baked treat could be Russia's secret weapon in the fight against the powerful, but pie-less, Napoleon. ///tolstoy@wapin7.com - Email us or send us

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30:45

S2E3. The Fable of Fish Fwend

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) ·

2021/01/21

They speak of a man with fish for hands,a man who's addicted to crime .Your treasures are safe?Oh yes! In the safest place!Well for now then I guess you are fine...OR ARE YOU?!///tolstoy@wapin7.com - Email us or send us something!wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Leave a rating or review!instagram.com/wapin7podcast/ - Follow us on Instagram!WAPIN7.com - Join the newsletter & visit Tolstoy's Hall of Fame!

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