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PODCAST

Miserable Retail Slave

Miserable Retail Slave

Miserable Retail Slave is a big, dumb comedy show that looks at life, love, and the odd daily occurrences that keep life interesting.

comedy improv

All Episodes

01:30:32

218. Netflix and Comfort

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2019/01/23

This time, we welcome one of our very first listeners ever to the show. The man, the myth, the legend: special guest, Armchair Producer Doug Goodwin! Can you ride a bike?/ an outlier for a lot of things (1:20)/ an untold story of the bike (3:20)/ The Tomato Throw (6:50)/ “Playboy” Tommy Thompson (13:00)/ Armchair Producer Doug Goodwin (13:46)/ getting listeners is like trying to dig out of Shawshank (19:41)/ how did Doug meet his wife (22:06)/ Doug’s old school online dating adventures (29:10)/

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01:12:56

217. The Gas Station Ballad of Johnny Sonata

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2019/01/11

Other people’s pets/ Tommy is a dog and Randy is a cat (1:00)/ Zeppelin, the lost cat (1:44)/ Pet antivaxxers (2:20)/ Plenty of Fish name change (4:35)/ Damien and Jake the Snake Facts (6:00)/ Head over heels and fear of flips (7:00)/ The Spit Curse (9:50)/ 2019 new you (16:23)/ Batman and Robin and being a George Clooney Batman (18:00)/ The Sweatpants Mentality (20:00)/ Cheers and We need a throwback ‘80s theme song (21:00)/ The Gas Station Troubadour at the McGasStation (24:50)/ The guitar guy at

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01:05:03

216. #Swipelife

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/12/28

Animals are getting sassier/ Tommy talks about the deep sea (3:00)/ a wall of geese (5:00)/ Tommy finally agrees that he has polka dot eyes (8:00)/ Possum talk (9:35)/ Possum the Peanuts (11:02)/ Confidence (12:47)/ Christmas (21:00)/ watching a Salvation Army bell ringer slowly lose his mind (24:15)/Springsteen on Broadway (26:22)/ Every man should be a Bruce Springsteen (28:13)/ no hope for an online dater (35:02)/ online dating ads/ #swipelife/ “I’ll be some girl’s cuddledud” (36:00)/ MRS speed

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01:11:22

215. Shuffling Pajama Idiots

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/12/12

The Shuffling Pajama Idiots/ The promise of the text message (1:30)/ these horrible texts (2:00)/ why are there spelling errors in texts (3:00) / people need a good ducking (3:20)/ an app to compose texts for you (4:00)/ “I don’t fear the robot apocalypse because my iPhone battery won’t last more than 10 hours” (6:30)/ you better bag yourself a Wanda (9:03)/ outtie bellybuttons (14:00)/ “I’ve got problems for days and miles to drive, tell no lies and talk no jive” (16:00)/ Alcohol - the smartest

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50:57

214. Mister Worldy

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/12/11

Mr Worldly is about to speak: it’s better to be weird (2:02)/ normal people at comedy shows (5:20)/ Talking to the typical Michigan Male (5:55)/ the beautiful thing about idiots is they’re sincere about everything (9:46)/ Tommy is the Bob Ross of Comedy - Happy little Jokes 16:18)/ Snow plow season (17:32)/ who will rule the driveways: Fred or Frank? (19:30)/ Talking Taft (21:37)/ Sean Connery on Rosie O’ Donnell (23:05)/ Taft gets stuck in a bathtub and loves bathtubs (25:55)/ The Future is Sweet

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01:00:40

213. The Six Fingers of Abe

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/11/21

Surly Temple and the stunning optimist/ Tommy Horse Noise (1:15)/ children are our future (1:45)/ do believe in luck (4:25)/ The universe is a merry prankster (5:45)/ The story of an Abe Lincoln impersonator (6:30)/ Fabio vs the Seagulls (8:10)/ The six fingers of Abe (13:29)/ Give me a solid Taft (15:20)/ John Tyler talk (16:23)/ The lessons of Gabe Lincoln (18:24)/ Thanksgiving Special (22:23)/ Yams (23:30)/ White meat vs Dark meat (26:16)/ why do we talk to babies (30:00)/ Haley Joel Osment

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01:04:04

212. The Skid Mark Assassin

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/11/16

Macho Kool Aid Man/ how did cavemen function without energy drinks? (1:30)/ leave tastes alone BUT IT’S NOT ENOUGH FOR ME (3:20)/ where have we been? (10:00)/ holidays (10:30)/ ominous plans for the future (12:45)/ Tommy Conscious (13:20)/ Randy’s very 1st baby picture (14:45)/ Tommy and Randy’s Big Night Out (17:25)/ Dance Party (19:15)/ Tommy becomes a band groupie (21:40)/ The drunkest woman (23:00)/ Matt the major dudebro (27:00)/ Electric Ladies (28:10)/ The key to getting all the ladies

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01:12:27

211. The Great GIF Crisis

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/10/08

Randy’s Career Fair: GIF farmer/ Communication is hard these days (2:00)/ The Great GIF Crisis (2:50)/ The Office (6:34)/ Do you even know what makes a magical GIF work? (8:16)/ Tommy has thoughts about a Marc Maron meme (12:53)/ No adults know how to actually adult (15:00)/ Stephen Colbert’s thoughts on comedy (16:20)/ Stealing someone’s birthday thunder (17:30)/ Stealing moments between gas stations (19:36)/ you can tell how old a man is by how curved his hat’s bill is (20:00)/ A gas station

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01:02:12

210. Stay Awake

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/09/28

We become a true crime podcast/ A dog playing frisbee (2:30)/ Tommy forgets his tattoos/ The man with the adult coloring book arms (4:00)/ Greta Van Fleet And Frankenmuth, Michigan/ “In the name of Fido, I commit vengeance upon her person...”/ The Spider Behind You (11:50)/ EB White (12:30)/ A weird week: walking on a flaming carrot (13:55)/ being rich is a waste to a slob (16:36)/ Eminem vs Machine Gun Kelly and Rap Devil talk (18:00)/ older Eminem albums (19:00)/ Poetry Battles: ee cummings diss

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01:04:14

209. Poe

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/08/27

Getting up in the morning is a waste of time (3:30)/ Randy is a catch-22 (4:00)/ Voodoo Priest John Madden and his curse (5:00)/ Sunday Scaries and Summer Scaries (6:52)/ exploring things (9:30)/ A crazy Detroit Adventure: of live nude girls, Optimus Prime, and beer (10:00)/ Pistachios, the Infinite Nut (15:00)/ Quality Question: why do people try to craft the perfect joke when it’ll never beat a well-times fart? (19:10)/ The Farting Comedian (19:52)/ Hooters is shutting down after recent study says

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01:25:23

208. Hollering at Your Jalapeños

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/08/17

Hey. How was your summer? We're back. The wedding guest/ going to a wedding with someone you’ve never met or talked to/ an online dating open invitation (2:03)/ slaying it like Bugs Bunny at his finest (3:03)/ the age when “maybe” became a “no” (5:58)/ Meatloaf philosophy (7:34)/ poetry in motion (8:54)/ the judgmental round (10:10)/ Tommy likes drawing seahorses as kids (10:47)/ is the Bermuda Triangle ok now? (12:46)/ Mr Everything (17:42)/ perpetually frustrated (20:14)/ overreaction theater:

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01:12:09

207. If My Face Was A Drug, I'd Sell It By The Instagram

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/07/24

Flying cars/ Nonstop Glee/ The Legend of Wacky Warren (1:57)/ Tide Pod challengers (2:30)/ Flirting with girls in a flying car (3:24)/ Cheesy or Corny: which is the worst food descriptor (3:45)/ Proper Bro-tocol (5:09)/ Tommy’s Beard and transformation into a skunk ape (6:05)/ Tommy’s impeccable brows (6:51)/ Bacon obsessions (10:19)/ an intervention for Tommy (10:42)/ A middle age choose your own adventure (13:00)/ Woodie Wagon cars (15:00)/ Elon Musk pledges to help with the Flint water crisis

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56:32

206. (Skin) Deep Thinkers

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/07/10

Recorded on the road to Lansing, MI... Post Malone, face tattoos, “Always Tired”, and adjectives on your face/ Skin Deep Thinkers (1:28)/ Inviting celebrities to your wedding (1:45)/ Riding on the roof of your car (6:16)/ Road trip stunt tales (8:43)/ mooning tales (9:41)/ online dating nonsense and Kayak (14:23)/ a text message sent (17:21)/ opening up a barely town convenience store (17:41)/ creating a dating app for customers to hit on retail employees (23:49)/ “Straight Up Randy (27:17)/ how

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01:09:57

205. Don Juan Casanova of Studville

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/07/02

Tommy’s Maroon 5 haircut/ Mick Foley (:45)/ Too many “ladder falls to the face” (1:00)/ A ladder-cage Match aka Hell in the Cell (WWE King of the Ring 1998) (1:22)/ “He’s like Johnny Knoxville, if Johnny Knoxville was a complete and total anarchist, nihilist, and masochist (3:02)/ Randy’s first job (3:30)/ The Miserable WrestleTalk Podcast/ Late fees are stupid (4:40)/ Taking an IQ test to get a video store job (5:15)/ Redbox users are the most entitled people (6:30)/ “I would turtle like Claude

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10:19

Tangents of the Damned 2. Deadpool vs Waylon Jennings

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/06/25

We've been known to go on tangents during episodes of Miserable Retail Slave, so here they are. Smaller, bite-sized episodes of your favorite big, dumb comedy show: Tangents of the Damned. In this short, mini-episode, we talk about Deadpool, pick our favorite Ryan Reynolds movies, get nostalgic about skate parties, and cringe at the thought of the couples skate. Heroes/ Tommy lies about never seeing a super hero movie/ Deadpool interrupts Stephen Colbert’s monologue on The Late Show (1:25)/ what

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01:04:04

204. Just Ask

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/06/19

It’s that time of year where people are graduating high school/ one more graduating class to remind you how old you’re getting (1:29)/ definition of “sexist” (2:29)/ Can we get published guidelines for all the PC words we should be saying? (3:29)/ a refreshingly honest graduation speech (4:25)/ school is weird (5:30)/ what percentage of kids go to college now? (6:14)/ Randy’s shattered dreams (7:03)/ still best friends with your high school best friend(8:31)/ skate or die! (12:00)/ “I guess round

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42:23

203. Deep Don Knotts Sniff

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/06/11

Tommy doesn’t know the difference between slur and slang/ The Pre-Date / The pre-date rulebook/ “no one’s ever been charming in the presence of a scone”/ 2018 - The Year of Scumbags and Forced Apologies/ The Internet - we’re in the business of boning/ That Active Shooter game/ Tommy’s living his best life/ if aliens came to Earth, how long until someone wanted to eat them?/ Octopi are aliens / The Giant Squid/ Hugs from Bigfoot/ Tommy’s Soapbox/Will we take a hike? and Weird Tommy/Quality Question :

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09:03

Tangents of the Damned: 1. Facebucks

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/06/04

We've been known to go on tangents during episodes of Miserable Retail Slave, so here they are. Smaller, bite-sized episodes of your favorite big, dumb comedy show: Tangents of the Damned. This time, we cover Facebook getting into the worlds of online dating and cryptocurrency. Plus, Weezer covering Toto's "Africa" and "Roseanna" and the significance of the song Africa to us. Facebucks (of Facebook dating and cryptocurrency) - Can you imagine if Tommy could comprehend everything that went on

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58:13

202. You Can't Kiss a Baby (Live with Epic Film Guys)

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/05/28

Live from Livestream for the Cure 2.0 with Epic Film Guys and special guests, Jake and Tom from Jake and Tom Conquer the World We were part of Livestream for the Cure 2.0 recently, a 30 hour live streaming event put on by the Epic Film Guys to raise money for cancer research. We had a blast kicking the event off. So thanks to everyone who donated, viewed, shared, liked, retweeted, or thought about doing any of those things. The event managed to raise an amazing $11,545.88 for cancer research!!

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55:56

201. Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A START

Miserable Retail Slave ·

2018/05/23

Vampire, werewolf, zombie bites/ Cub Thompson and new stage names (:45)/ a slacker vampire (1:00)/ comedic glory (3:27)/ Evil Genius on Netflix and collar bombs (4:14)/ aftermath of doing Livestream for the Cure 2.0 (8:54)/ The last time Tommy is with Dave Landau??? (13:50)/ Kokomo, Indiana (14:54)/ compound media (18:00)/ The girl who threw poop at the Tim Horton’s employee (19:11)/ stopping shoplifters in retail (21:00)/ Tommy’s shoplifting story (23:00)/ “you’re not the force” (25:07)/ The Untold

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