SUNNI BLU becomes a man. I guess. Golly. You sure do seem intolerant. Are you sure you don't want a Peloton. I want to live in a white neighborhood And make enough money That my white neighbors Actually respect me For whatever it is I do. Working on a Saturday. Calm down, Jew mom. I will not clam down. In this house, we abide by holy law! Hold on. What happened. I got distracted, this girl looks just like Edie Falco. Oh, I love Edie Falco. Right? I realized

That girl from the Uber teen commercial is so remarkably beautiful. I hope she has a long and successful career. Black beyond measure-/ Wat. I'm so black, you can't measure my blackness. What in the fuck BLACK BEYOND MEASURE. BITCH. Nooo. What. What is that. I can measure my blackness. To a t. But yours!? Oh no! You're black beyond measure. What does that entail? Obviously it's a positive thing— So black you are black beyond measure. Woah, Nelly

Concourse 12. 8 PM. Sharp. ‘How am I still writing this story?' What even is this story? To be fair, I didn't know what I was writing but it sounded good—there was something powerful about the way the shadow figures danced in the confines of my mind—careful not to become attached to the love I had grown for them, the mysterious shadows, they appeared both as creatures of man, and as animals; this— The Prairie Dog— a fortified soldier but also a leader. There's

I hear no voices in my head And from what I can tell There are none, Only frequencies, And frequencies, And frequencies And recently I've been eating Whatever it is that suits me, Though not whenever And everyday I wish I were A little bit better off A little less bitter A little higher up A little lighter skin A little lighter, Like a feather Wish Misinformed imperfection Military introspection Complexities and such Division and acknowledgement Of no higher power other than

So, you built this, huh? I certainly must have, at some point. All by yourself. I highly doubt. You just considerably know yourself well to have brought yourself here— Or not. Let's just say, I really uh— Fuck, I blacked out, Tied one on the night before. Oh, God. And the day before— Oh, well. Hello, t there. I—uh— And the night before the day before. Christ. All I'm saying is, for this audition you're going to want to keep

Two waist trainers— Two sauna suits— One neoprene and one polyester— It's polyester? Damn. Well, at least it won't rip What exactly are you trying to achieve. I'm going to be 110 pounds. For what! I don't know. Jennifer Anniston makes it seem really appealing. JENNIFER ANNISTON opens a yogurt; Like, Ten dudes just crowd around and stare. See. Ah. I get it . I see what you mean. What exactly do you need ten dudes for to sit around and stare at

Lights on; Knock my lights out I'll be right back— But that was about a half-hour or so, ago and now I'm About to black out A night owl, Or white owl, Who cried out “No, this is my house!— Either sit down, or get out of it” And that was the— Fuck this bitch. Who hired her? You'll stay in this room with the subject for up to three months; —okay. Record everything. Isn't this illegal? Not for us. Okay. There's something you

i found this bird with a broken wing about my doorstep— I see. Would you happen to know anything about that? Your—doorstep? Your bird. Who said it was my bird? Ours then, shall we? Anandar taught me explicitly how to go about being many places at once; I can be both. You're a puppy! If I was, I'd be a pit bull! Cute dog. [malicious] Oh! He bites. Where are you taking me? To your mother. I haven't seen you in 40 years. Has it been 40 years

I can't save you; Thinking of this over midnight coffee and faded rain– Now jaded makes sense, Along with the color scheme Friday came and went (I keep you hidden and off to the side, And away from the monsters, the scars of a fairytale long and forgotten More robberies and a heartbreak, sactity hours away On a plane destined for engine failure falling from such high altitudes The last and the first sound Unsure of survival and rebirth To a new age Is the same sound, The

Let me guess; you thought I would look like Paula Patton? I was hoping. Well, that's too bad. I told you I was ugly; I look like this. I gathered. This–couldn't possibly be what you thought i was thinking. I don't have to think what you're thinking; I know what you're thinking without thinking it. This telepathy thing just keeps sinking in deeper. You can be relevant–or irrelevant; which is it? Goddamit. Where am I…what am I? What is this? Shh, don't even

Who called Kimmel? I didn't call Kimmel. You call Kimmel? I didn't call Kimmel! Let's just say, Jimmy Kimmel is the kind of person that calls himself to these sort of things. Thanks for calling me! Nobody called you. Nobody called you. Who called him. I'm even harder to get rid of than Jimmy Fallon. That could not possibly be the case. Use lemon zest. What? For the— let me see. Look, just

HEY. …hello. [breaks shit] Oh. [he grabs the man by the collar] You— —aren't you the kid from that one movie— —I'm the kid from your mom's house! —that's major disrespectful— —I'll tell you what; Okay?! —you—are going to grow a mustache. What! Why! Because you are! That's not going to look good at all! Exactly my point “The Worst Mustache Ever” [the super buff dude forces the man to

Last night I slept totally in the nide; Of course, leave it to good old fashioned good timing-/— The return of the hellicoopyer, and whatever's at stake with it No time to breathe, I'm having a spiritual experience on the cycle bike No time to lose— That's right. About face Walk away It's central intelligence Too much sweat in my palms To use my palm pillow? Hi god I love you God knows my timing, Lord know me well Don't tell me it's a writing assignment Really, yo

VO My favorite person was Mia Farrow. MIA FARROW I'm not burning that. {Enter The Multiverse} At an infamous “Moon Party”, a group of celebrities unwittingly practices an ancient magical ritual which opens the doorway to another realm. Lol what is your life. I don't know yet! Well, you'd better hurry at it. I'll kill you, I promise I will. He seems dangerous. Oh, yeah; he'll definitely kill you. Can yo seriously look me in the eye and tell me, that– I

“Seth Meyers And the Cauldron of Doom” OMG— YOU have a cauldron of doom?! I have a cauldron of doom!!! DO NOT SHAKE THIS SNOWGLOBE. I had been avoiding Rockefeller plaza for months as it was, without the sometimes accidental ending up there anyway, and I thought not once but twice or three times about changing into my regular pants so that the deep pockets could hold my keys and passports sans wallet— or a purse and considered taking a notebook as well; on the list

I got a house that you can run in Hollywood hills, panoramic windows the sun in— No more Broadway junction; Fly in jfk, then. Fly away—just like I wanted Private function up in a five star loft, Invite only, Undisclosed location, Address on tickets you just bough from me Invite only black tie, tie dye shirt under the bomber I'm off in the morning. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

I got detail. What are we lookin at? White, either BMW or Mercedes— carbon top. Well, which is it, a beamer Or a Benz? If I knew, I would just tell you. What, you don't know the difference between a Beamer and a Mercedes? Newer models, you know. All look the same. Well it's not the same. Look, would you just find out who the fuck is running detail on me? A lot of help you are, for the one that's being followed. Look, just find out who it is— and what they want.

I used to be almost 400 pounds (Obviously the audience is going to do/say somethin big—hopefully they're drunk and react atrociously so that it makes sense for me to go—) I know. Anyway, it's a long story. It took a long time but obviously, I'm no longer anywhere near 400 pounds. Sometimes . I still like to eat. A lot. I eat a lot. I love to cook, I love trying new recipes. Sometimes I eat a bit more than I work out so you know, I get a little chubby— Then

JIMMY FALLON begins twisting his fingers subtly as he points with his right hand towards the door, hardly moving at all besides his hand; the other JIMMY FALLONs stand quietly in slight confusion, until suddenly, as he turns his hand into a twisting motion, the doorknob begins to slowly open; they look on in awe and bewilderment as an office clerk slowly enters the room as the door springs open, she walks slowly to the center of the room; startled, some of them begin to frantically stir as if

Lifetime lifetime, We finna make a movie These motorcycles mad, But they probably wanna do me X ray vision can't shit see through me Rubber to the glue stick to you, I'm the blū c Lifetime lifetime, Talking bout fitness Run over your head, Like I know you won't get this Blū bleed red, hope the white get the message Haunted by the past, Like a Christmas present Lifetime, lifetime Finna make a movie If currency the truth, The. You probably owe me to be Shakespeare write here I