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PODCAST

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One"s Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

Allies in Recovery

This podcast is comprised of three series addressing topics relevant to families dealing with a loved one"s addiction: - FAMILIES SPEAK: parents share wisdom, tools & experience using CRAFT (a proven method) with their loved one - Partner CRAFT: co-hosts explore the specificity of using CRAFT with a romantic partner (or ex) - VOICES from the FRONT LINES: Guests share expertise and stories Allies in Recovery provides online learning modules, expert hand-tailored guidance, CRAFT support groups,

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

00:32:03

CLASSICS REVISITED: When Your Loved One Is Homeless

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/12/06

It’s incredibly hard to have a Loved One who’s experiencing homelessness. Our hosts—Hazel, Kevin, and Greer—join Kayla Solomon to discuss their experiences with their Loved Ones and offer hard-won advice. They say it’s important to try to create an environment of openness, connection, and availability—up to a point. But it’s also important to have boundaries. If you’re not giving advice or intervening in ways your Loved One is not asking for, they get the life experience of their choices, but they

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00:24:12

CLASSICS REVISITED: How Do You Get Past Accumulated...

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/11/29

How do accumulated negative feelings and trauma impact you and your relationship with your loved one? How do you get past them, to a better place? In part, it's about breaking the contract of the usual interactions and cycles—learn to step back, re-assess, and let our loved ones handle things without so much of our intervening. Kayla and Dominique discus⁠s how that can be done.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail

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00:28:37

CLASSICS REVISITED: What Are the Challenges of...

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/11/22

"This is not just a conflict resolution tool, it's about showing somebody that you're actually interested in what they're talking about," Kayla reminds us.Reflective listening involves two simultaneous mindsets—you're listening, and at the same time reflecting whatever your Loved One says. Our hosts weigh in on good strategies for dealing with the difficulty of inhabiting those simultaneous mindsets, including curiosity, interest, and separation.The support group that Kayla

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01:05:56

CLASSICS REVISITED: Reflective Listening, Intentional...

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/11/15

Ever felt baffled or enraged by communicating with a loved one? Check out this popular episode from 2021, hosted by Kayla Solomon, Laurie MacDougall, and Isabel Cooney. What is "reflective listening?" How does it work? What are the benefits for you, and the person you're listening to? And why does Kayla believe in it so much that she'd use it if someone were pointing a gun at her?The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail

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00:30:12

CLASSICS REVISITED: How Do You Negotiate When Your...

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/11/08

When your Loved One is coming home, it's time to collaborate and negotiate about expectations and plans. It's important to hear what consequences they suggest for certain actions or inaction, and to keep communicating openly over time. This is a ripe moment to have a talk about the various possibilities and what might occur in the near future. This is a perfect timeto use the leverage you have (they want to come home, they are not currently using substances).The CRAFT model that we teach at

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00:41:08

CLASSICS REVISITED: Interview with Linda Aber, part 2

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/10/31

In part 2, Linda offers tools to help calm the parasympathetic nervous system. As Kayla says, it's part of gaining coherence, a prerequisite for connection. Linda Aber is a mother whose psychology journey deepened when she adopted two children from Russian orphanages. She is an Attachment Parent Coach, Certified Nurtured Heart® Approach Trainer, Certified Theraplay® Group Specialist, Certified HeartMath® Anxiety/Anger Reduction Practitioner and Family Life Educator CCFE. In part 1, she joins our

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00:30:29

CLASSICS REVISITED: Interview with Linda Aber, part 1

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/10/24

Linda Aber is a mother whose psychology journey deepened when she adopted two children from Russian orphanages. She is an Attachment Parent Coach, Certified Nurtured Heart® Approach Trainer, Certified Theraplay® Group Specialist, Certified HeartMath® Anxiety/Anger Reduction Practitioner and Family Life Educator CCFE. In part 1, she joins our hosts to discuss the parasympathetic nervous system, CRAFT, and parenting.Connect with Linda via Her website and her Facebook.The support group that Kayla

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00:31:56

CLASSICS REVISITED: How Do You Deal with Unknowns and...

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/10/17

If you're forced to have limited contact, it can be hard to handle the unknown. It's important to learn how to be in contact in simple ways, and to calm your system down to respond well and strengthen the connection. Use humor; find ways to connect with who they are and what they like—reminding them of who they are becomes a bridge and connection. If you’re worried, learn how to communicate simply, without accusation or judgement.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a

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00:24:15

CLASSICS REVISITED: Intention vs. Perception

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/10/10

We intend to be supportive and helpful and keep our Loved Ones safe. But our words aren’t always perceived that way. It’s important to become more aware of how we’re coming across, and to gain the tools to soften the message, hear when they feel upset, and shift things so that we can go back into connection. The result is building the relationship so things can come out more clearly, and the person can more readily receive our words if they choose to.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now

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00:28:18

CLASSICS REVISITED: Rupture & Repair

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/10/03

Presume you’ll have moments in a relationship that feel like gigantic rifts, or like uncomfortable separation and disconnect. That’s not a problem, but an opportunity to show that you’re changing and working on your part. Take full responsibility for your part, whether they do or not. Keep doing it over and over, so you become a safe person—the person who’s there when they decide they’re ready for more help.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. • Wednesdays at

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00:40:54

FAMILIES Speak: The Journey of a Love Warrior:...

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/09/26

Kayla asks the Families Speak podcasters to look back at their entire journey. Where did they begin this journey, where are they now, how would they describe their journey, what has changed, what have they learned? The family members who speak to you via the Families Speak series are people on a journey with Loved Ones who struggle with addiction and mental health. Listen to them as they reflect on the up’s, the down’s, and the learning curve of the Love Warriors path they’ve taken. What qualities

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00:48:53

FAMILIES Speak: The Rabbit Hole of Worry—and How to...

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/09/19

Worry is universal, yet it’s also damaging to ourselves and our relationships. Suzanne aptly refers to the “chem trails” we put out when we’re in a state of anxiety-fear-worry. Jody remarks that worrying and the energy it gives off “is the biggest repellent… when I’m in that state, I am sending all the wrong signals out… .” She shares that realizing this was “one of the initial catalysts to say, I really need to work on this.” But how do we unlearn these ingrained habits and behaviors? The Families

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00:37:50

FAMILIES Speak: The Power of NO (Are You a Yes Person...

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/09/05

Are you a "YES person" or a "NO person?" According to Kayla, each of us has a tendency in one direction or the other. Find out what practice she recommends for "YES people" and why. But why is it so hard for so many of us to say "no" to people we love? Bridget, one of our co-hosts, admits that in her relationship with her Loved One, she used to operate from a place of fear. "I thought if I said 'no', I'd never see him again." Join us for a pertinent exploration of a laden subject. "YES" and "NO"

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00:49:03

FAMILIES Speak: Get Out of That Funk!

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/08/22

This topic came up organically when we came together to record and most of the team admitted they were in a strange place. We decided to explore just that – those moments when you realize you’re just not on your game (feeling off, disconnected, out of it, tired, not quite right… know what I mean?). Whether the cause is related to your Loved One’s substance use or mental health struggles, or any other stressor, how do you identify what you’re feeling, and move into a more balanced place? As always,

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00:36:41

FAMILIES Speak: Woo or Not… How Does Our Energy...

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/08/08

Words are important. But what may be even more important than words is the energy behind them. How do our body language, the tone of our voice, the thoughts we’re thinking, the feelings we’re feeling, and what we’re grappling with in any moment, affect things with others around us, for example with our Loved One? As we reorient and become more aware of our energy, it’s astounding what we’re able to heal in our relationships. Learn some simple ways to diffuse the tension and clean up your side of the

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00:01:20

A Message from Isabel

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/08/01

A message from Isabel Cooney about some podcast changes.** Starting in August, the support group that Kayla facilitates will be offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested) **At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulate, it transforms our relationships with our Loved Ones struggling with addiction. Visit ⁠⁠Allies in

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00:46:51

FAMILIES Speak: Raising Our Vibration with Humor

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/07/25

“Humor is a release,” insists Kayla Solomon. If you can laugh, the perceived danger dissipates. Co-host Suzanne shares, “Even in the face of total darkness, we can laugh at the insanity. I think the line between humor and tragedy is very, very fine indeed.”In this lighthearted episode, our team offers deep thoughts about humor, including how to access it… as well as some unexpected tips such as co-host Elizabeth’s “viking horns” recommendation. Find out which caveat Kayla warns about as you pursue

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00:47:35

FAMILIES Speak: Practice CRAFT On (Literally) Everyone!

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/07/18

Those of us who’ve been learning and practicing CRAFT as taught by Allies in Recovery tend to agree: this stuff should be taught in schools! All parents should know about this! All humans would benefit!As co-host Kenny explains, “In this journey, I’ve come to understand that the CRAFT skillset is really about relationships, generally, as much as it is how you maintain or develop a relationship with someone who’s in the throes of a substance use disorder.” Not to mention, as Kayla points out, “It’s a

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01:01:07

VOICES from the Front Lines: Kayla Solomon

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/07/11

Kayla Solomon, who regularly co-hosts Coming Up for Air, is a therapist and leader of an Allies in Recovery group. Isabel Cooney interviews Kayla about her own experiences with CRAFT, and how she's come to view it and practice it. At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulate, it transforms our relationships with our loved ones struggling with addiction.A family member (whose loved one is currently in recovery for over a year) recently said this about

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00:42:53

FAMILIES Speak: Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved... ·

2025/07/05

When accumulated trauma and worry have our anxiety levels running high, we are often in a place where we simply expect that (more) bad things are going to happen—even when, objectively, things seem to be going well. It can actually be just this, things going well, that feel so out of the ordinary that we assume it won’t last and start to live in a state of suspension. This in-between state prevents us from living in the moment, from celebrating even small successes or positive steps. Our team looks

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