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PODCAST

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Hello, I"m psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday"s you"ll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

19:33

Bucket Emptying: Valuing Children - 5 Ways to Build a...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/02/09

A sense of belonging is a basic human need. Without it can lead to loneliness, depression and many other mental and physical health issues.So to celebrate Children’s Mental Health Week, the theme of which this year is ‘this is my place’, I am going to give you five tips to help your children build their sense of belonging, because the world is a better place with them in it, and it’s our job as parents to help them believe that.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the

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40:16

Navigating Exam Stress

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/02/05

From the 8 Plus to A-Levels, exams can be a stressful experience… often as much for you, the parent, as the kids.You want the best for them, and of course you want them to do well, but it’s important to make sure we create a supportive environment, and not inadvertently add to the pressure.That’s why, in this important episode, I’m going to talk you through the dos and do nots of navigating exam season, and give you a bunch of super practical advice, which you can use right away.So pour yourself a

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17:40

A new perspective on emotional co-regulation

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/02/02

In this bucket emptying episode, I look a bit closer at my conversation with Professor Sam Wass, who you may recognise from such TV shows as The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds. He is is currently Director of the Institute for the Science of Early Years at the University of East London.In last week’s interview he spoke to us at length about his research, but in today’s episode I want to drill down just a little more into some of his comments on emotional coregulation, and I’m going to share my own

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1:03:48

Neuroscience and Emotional Regulation in Children,...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/01/29

Does your child ever get worked up, and you find it escalates super fast but feel powerless to bring them down from that ledge?Every parent has been there, but it’s only in recent years that we have really begun to understand the reasons why, and it’s all about neuroscience.Children’s brains are changing and developing all the time, which means as parents it can be so difficult to keep up, and know how to support them with things like emotional regulation, so I want to talk though some of these

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18:36

Stop Making Life Easy! 5 Proven Ways to Build Your...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/01/26

“I can’t do it!” - as parents we hear this all the time.Our children are learning new skills and experiencing new things every day, which means they are always facing things they’ve never done before. This can be scary, and often our kids might think they can’t do it or they’re not good enough.That’s why building resilience is so important. It gives them the foundation they need to persevere, to fail without fear, and to find that inner strength when things feel tough or challenging.In today’s

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35:05

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/01/22

Why won’t my kids go to sleep at their bed time?It doesn’t matter if your child is 2 or 20, every parent in the world will ask themselves this question, because sometimes, even if we stick to the routine, they just won’t settle down and get in bed.In this episode I continue our discussion around sleep, sharing some of the ways in which overtiredness can impact our kids and what you can do about it. Plus, I explain how things like puberty, technology and other factors have a bigger impact than you

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14:04

Bucket Emptying: Creating New Habits by Stacking

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/01/19

New year is my favourite time of year.It’s a chance for us to turn a blank page and make conscious changes in our lives. Maybe you want to improve your health, or perhaps you have certain career goals, or maybe you just want to save for that dream family holiday.Whatever it is you set out to do this year, it all comes down to one thing: habits.Saving money is a habit.Eating better is a habit.Exercising more is a habit.Making time for yourself and your family… you guessed it, is a habit!So in this

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35:35

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/01/15

It’s bedtime. You’ve done all the right things. You followed the routine. There are no disruptions. And yet… the kids just won’t go to sleep!We’ve all been there, which is why in this episode, the first of a two-part special, I am going to explore the hidden reasons your children might not sleep.Some of these things might be hiding in plain sight, and that’s ok. Over the next two episodes I am going to show you what they are, and give you some practical tips to help you manage them, so that your

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23:41

Bucket Emptying: 10 Powerful Questions to Get Your...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/01/12

What did you do today?It’s the question every parents asks when we pick our kids up from school, nursery, or wherever they’ve been. The response is usually ‘I don’t know,’ ‘nothing,’ or a disinterested grunt or huff, am I right?Getting our kids to open up can be painful and frustrating, so in this bucket emptying episode I am sharing 10 questions that will get your children talking.These are everyday questions, but when used at the right time can be super powerful, and you can start using them right

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40:18

The Comparison Trap: Why We Compare, When to Say Yes,...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/01/08

It’s said that comparison is the thief of joy, and there’s truth to this.Whether it’s your kids thinking their life is so unfair because their friends have phones, or go to parties and they’re not allowed, to you as a parent constantly judging yourself against the other mums and dads at the school gate.In this episode, I show you how to avoid the dreaded comparison trap. I explain the five step response framework, share some helpful tips to stop you comparing yourself against other parents, and talk

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23:02

Bucket Emptying: 10 Things to Say to Your Children...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/01/05

I believe in you.I will always love you.I am always here for you.How often do you say any of these things to your children?The truth is, it’s probably less you’d like to admit, and you’re not alone. As parents, it’s easy to get caught up in the day to day of parenting, that we forget to give our kids the affirmation and reassurance they want and need from us.In this bucket emptying episode, I’m going to share ten things that you can start saying to your children right now to build self-belief,

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27:40

The Power of Failed Goals: Why Broken Resolutions...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2026/01/01

Have you and your family made New Year resolutions?And how many have you broken already?I love making resolutions. It’s the highlight of my year. But statistics show that most New Year resolutions are broken, so you are not alone! However, making resolutions, even if we break them, can still be super valuable for our personal growth and in building confidence, especially in our kids.In today’s episode I will show you how to set intentions and make realistic, achievable resolutions. I will explain

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32:17

The Best of 2025

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/12/29

As 2025 draws to a close, I thought the best way to round out another year of the podcast is to give you a compilation of our best bits and the best tips in one episode.Consider this your How Not to Screw Up Your Kids cheat sheet for 2025!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, have a very happy new year, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:05 - Rage Against the Screen04:27 - Empowering Children with Disabilities11:11 - Generation Zombie15:56 - Raising Happy ADHD

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38:26

Merry Christmas: The Best of How Not to Screw Up Your...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/12/25

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas from me and the team at How Not to Screw Up Your Kids. However you are celebrating, and whatever you’re doing, I hope you’re having some well earned time off, and getting some precious quality time with your loved ones.Just in case you need a few wise words of encouragement in your ear, here are some of the best bits from the last year of the podcast, taken from some of your most favourite episodes.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the

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17:20

Bucket Emptying: Start Right, End Right - Daily...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/12/22

Our children are sponges. They absorb our energy.So when we start our day with a bang, that rubs off, and our kids will be unbalanced from the get go. And that just sets us all up for a difficult day, doesn’t it?So, in today’s bucket emptying episode, I’m going to share my top tips on how to set up your day for calm, cooperation and compassion.I will give you 5 things that you can do at the start of your day, and 2 things to do at the end, and you can start them right now!So pour yourself a cuppa,

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53:31

The Reconnected: Transform Your Parenting in 20...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/12/18

Are you close to your children?Do you still feel connected as they get older?Do you spend as much time with them as you want?I’m going to guess that you answered no to at least one of these questions. Am I right?Today I am joined by Emma and Eleanor from The Reconnected, to discuss the importance of making time to connect with our children… and ourselves.We talk about breathwork and why we all need to make time for ourselves, because if we can’t show up for ourselves, we won’t be able to show up for

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22:03

The Secret to Child Cooperation: 7 Psychology Proven...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/12/15

How do you get your children to cooperate with you, when they just don’t want to?It’s a problem we all face - our kids will refuse to do something not because they don’t want to, but because we’re telling them to, and it’s so frustrating! So what’s the answer?In this bucket emptying episode, I’m going to introduce you to the psychology of cooperation, and give you some simple, helpful, and practical tips you can use right away.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the

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32:47

Boost Your Child's Confidence in 10 Days

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/12/11

Does your child struggle with their confidence?Do you wish you could help?Well you’re in luck, because confidence is a learned skill, and there are many easy things you can do to help build self-confidence in your kids.In this episode, I’m going to give you a 10 day plan, which you can start using right now, to help develop those skills and improve confidence. Remember: the brain is a muscle, and confidence is just about giving the right parts of the brain a workout - from taking the lead on tasks

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18:05

How to Avoid Resentment

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/12/08

Do your children resent you?Do you resent your children?How good are you at managing this?Resentment is a funny thing. It feels like it comes out of nowhere, but actually, it can be the result of many small little events that build up and up until it overflows.Then, you find yourself arguing with your children, or worse, that resentment just continues to simmer, and it becomes harder to resolve.We’ve all heard that old saying that prevention is better than cure, so in this bucket emptying episode,

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38:18

Supporting Our Children Through Separation and Divorce

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2025/12/04

On Christmas Day in 1986, 30 million Brits were glued to their screens as Eastenders’ Dirty Den handed divorce papers to Angie Watts, in one of the most watched television episodes of all time.As shocking as that was in 1986, the reality today is that separation is commonplace and 40% of marriages end in divorce. Many parents part ways, and often our children get caught in the crossfire, through no fault of their own.With January approaching, when separations are at their highest, how do we make

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