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PODCAST

Marriage iQ

Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings

Most couples were never taught how to build a great marriage. They were just told to work at it. But what actually works? Marriage IQ is a relationship podcast hosted by marriage and sex researcher Dr. Heidi Hastings and physician Dr. Scott Hastings. Each episode blends relationship science, real stories, and practical tools to help couples improve communication in marriage, deepen intimacy, rebuild trust, and resolve conflict. If you want a stronger, more connected marriage, this podcast is for

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:37:54

Episode 128 - What Amish Marriages Teach Us About...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/04/21

Amish marriages are known for one thing: they last.In a world full of distractions, disconnection, and rising divorce rates, the Amish have quietly built a culture where commitment runs deep and marriages endure for generations.So what are they doing differently?In this episode, we explore with Enos Hershberger, who grew up Amish, what Amish marriages can teach us about lasting love, deep commitment, and real connection. From a lifestyle with little to no smartphones, fewer distractions, and a

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00:46:12

Episode 127 - Men's Sexual Health: Expert Insights...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/04/14

50% of men by age 50 experience erectile dysfunction—but almost no one talks about what it does to a marriage. Specializing in urology and sexual health, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer joins Drs. Scott and Heidi Hastings to break down the truth about sexual dysfunction in men as they age—and why it’s not just a physical issue.Most couples think it’s about performance. But what’s really happening is deeper: Shame. Avoidance. Miscommunication. Emotional distance. And over time it quietly impacts the entire

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00:23:13

Episode 126 - The 5-Minute Habit That Rewires Your...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/04/07

In Part 2 of our happiness series, we break down three more simple habits—eye contact, touch, and prayer—that can instantly deepen connection, boost intimacy, and even rewire your marriage relationship. Backed by research from Dr. Arthur Brooks and real-life experience, these small shifts can transform how you and your spouse feel—starting today. If you missed Part 1 of this episode, click this link to listen now. https://open.spotify.com/episode/3V7FHAsRDshyo3Oee1uwPn?si=2abf96a03e8844cf👉Episode 7

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00:31:30

Episode 125 - Are Happy Marriages Even Real?

Marriage iQ ·

2026/03/31

Are happy marriages actually real—or are most couples just figuring it out as they go?In this episode of Marriage iQ, we respond to a powerful listener question and unpack what truly creates a happy, connected, and fulfilling marriage.Drawing on insights from Arthur Brooks, we explore why happiness isn’t something you feel—it’s something you do.And one of the most overlooked ways to build a happy marriage?Having more fun together.If your relationship feels a little routine, disconnected, or stuck in

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00:53:29

Episode 124 - Why Men Are Shutting Down in Marriage

Marriage iQ ·

2026/03/24

Masculinity in marriage is under pressure—and it may be quietly hurting your relationship.In this episode of Marriage iQ, we break down the real reason many couples feel disconnected: the loss of masculine and feminine polarity.Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with gender intelligence expert Andre Paradis, who shares how discovering he didn’t understand his own wife changed everything—and led him to study how men and women are wired differently.🔥 In this episode:✨Why many men shut down in

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00:26:04

Episode 123 - Why Saying "I'm Sorry" Too Much Hurts...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/03/17

Why saying “I’m sorry” too much can hurt your marriage. In this episode of Marriage iQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings explore “apology inflation”—how unnecessary apologies can quietly erode respect, blur responsibility, and create emotional imbalance in relationships. Using research, personal stories, and cultural examples like Princess Diana, Meet the Parents, and the viral “All About the Nail” video, they reveal why many people apologize even when they’ve done nothing wrong. You’ll learn the

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00:45:44

Episode 122 -The Surprising Benefits of Anger in...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/03/10

Anger in Marriage might be the emotion you’ve been taught to avoid—but what if it’s actually a powerful tool for deeper connection? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with anger expert Davina Hehn to explore the surprising benefits of anger in marriage and how to harness anger without aggression.You’ll learn why anger can act as a compass pointing to unmet needs, how couples get trapped in reactive conflict cycles, and the simple skills that transform anger into

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00:42:45

Episode 121 - Grief Almost Broke Us

Marriage iQ ·

2026/03/03

Grief Almost Broke Us - and we didn’t see it coming. After the deaths of Heidi’s parents just weeks apart, we found ourselves navigating overwhelming grief, secondary losses, emotional reactivity, reduced intimacy, and serious miscommunication in our marriage. In this episode, we unpack the stages of grief, the emotional and physical symptoms of loss, how partners grieve differently, and what research says about healing, prolonged grief, and recovery timelines.If you’re coping with loss, supporting

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00:44:37

Episode 120 - Proposal Pro Secrets for Spicing Up...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/02/24

Proposal Pro Secrets for Spicing Up Your Marriage aren’t just about popping the question—they’re about learning how to romance your spouse again and reignite passion long after the wedding day. In this episode, proposal planner Ash Fox (3,000+ proposals and host of The Proposal Podcast) reveals how polarity, vulnerability, and intentional pursuit can transform an ordinary marriage into something electric. You’ll hear how “re-proposals” after decades together bring back spark, why being chosen still

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00:36:47

Episode 119 - Emotional Hypocrisy is Fueling Marital...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/02/17

Emotional Hypocrisy is Fueling Marital Inequality—and you might be contributing to it without realizing it. If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I the only one trying?” this episode may gently (or not so gently) challenge that assumption.In many marriages, double standards quietly shape emotional labor, communication patterns, and resentment. We want closeness, attention, and intentional love—but excuse our own defensiveness, contempt, or silent scorekeeping. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi

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00:54:38

Episode 118 - The Love Doctor's 3-Step Happiness...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/02/10

What if happiness in marriage—and in your family—isn’t about trying harder… but talking smarter?In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with Anil Gupta, aka The Love Doctor, to unpack his viral Happiness Formula and why most people think they’re doing it—while quietly missing the point.We dive into why loving families still struggle with hard conversations, how avoidance sneaks into marriages and parenting, and what actually makes crucial conversations work with your

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00:56:28

Episode 117 - How to Reduce Anxiety and Become...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/02/03

If you are feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty, discover how the simple word "maybe" can reduce your anxiety and open the door to new possibilities.In a world filled with unpredictability, it is easy to get stuck in rigid thinking that fuels stress. In this episode of Marriage iQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings are joined by attorney and author Allison Carmen to discuss the surprising power of uncertainty.Allison shares how embracing ambiguity - rather than fearing it - can offer the

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00:41:59

Episode 116 - 3 Shocking Facts About Keeping Secrets...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/01/27

You might think hiding small things protects your spouse to "keep the peace," but science shows those unshared truths are actually corroding your relationship's foundation like a hidden leak.In this episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Scott and Dr. Heidi Hastings utilize relationship research to uncover why quiet emotional distance is often fatal to a marriage, even more so than explosive fights. They dive into the psychology of cognitive dissonance, reveal the top three secrets married

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00:53:24

Episode 115 - Mastering Pleasure: Experts' Guide to...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/01/20

Most couples never learn how to talk about sex—and it quietly sabotages intimacy, desire, and connection in marriage. In this powerful Marriage IQ episode, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with OB/GYN nurse, educator, author, and podcast host Cindy Scharkey (Permission for Pleasure) to talk about female pleasure, sexual communication, desire discrepancy, anatomy education, painful sex, and how couples can cultivate a thriving “sexual garden” over time. If you’ve ever wondered:✔️

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00:49:59

Episode 114 - How to Actually Achieve Your Marriage...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/01/13

Looking for the best marriage advice to take your relationship from "fine" to high-performing? In this episode of Marriage IQ, we sit down with Dr. Robin Buckley to discuss transformative relationship strategies that bring the best of the boardroom into your home.Do you run your business like a pro but your marriage like a Hallmark movie that’s running out of script? You aren’t alone. Many high-performers have incredible systems for work—KPIs, mission statements, and conflict management—but leave

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00:34:55

Episode 113 - Three Lies Depression Tells You About...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/01/09

Does your marriage feel hopeless right now? Before you make any permanent decisions, you need to know if you are fighting your spouse or if you are both fighting depression.⚠️ This is Part 2 of our Deep Dive on Depression. In Part 1, Dr. Scott Hastings explained the medical side (brain chemistry, meds, and diagnosis). Watch Part 1 Here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5PZyTeOqWd5E7YU1gTuQAh?si=ff2f5e06ec8342c5In this episode of Marriage iQ, Dr. Heidi Hastings shifts the focus from the brain to the

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00:37:44

Episode 112 - A Doctor's Primer on Depression and...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/01/06

Stop blaming yourself for being "lazy." If you physically cannot get off the couch, no amount of willpower or New Year's Resolutions will fix it—because the problem isn't in your mind. It’s in your biology.In this video, Dr. Scott Hastings explains the difference between "burnout" and actual clinical depression. We break down the invisible physical markers—from inflammation to serotonin depletion—that hijack your motivation and leave you feeling exhausted. If you have

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00:40:03

Trust Matters: The Secret to Secure Attachment...

Marriage iQ ·

2026/01/02

In this reposted episode of Marriage IQ, we pause for the holiday season and reflect on the importance of slowing down, being intentional, and prioritizing family time—before stepping into a deeply meaningful conversation about trust and healing in marriage.We’re joined by Geoff Steurer, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in helping couples rebuild trust after sexual betrayal. With clarity and compassion, Geoff unpacks what it truly takes to move from crisis toward connection,

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00:31:14

Taming Emotional Triggers: A Brain-based Approach to...

Marriage iQ ·

2025/12/30

We’re bringing back one of our earlier Marriage IQ episodes—because emotional triggers in marriage haven’t gone away, and this conversation is just as relevant and needed today as ever.Have you ever wondered why a simple comment from your spouse can suddenly spark a strong emotional reaction? Or why conversations sometimes derail before you even realize what’s happening? In this episode, we explore what’s really going on beneath the surface—inside your brain—and how understanding it can transform

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00:38:04

Why You’re Seeing Your Spouse Wrong: and How to...

Marriage iQ ·

2025/12/26

We’re bringing back one of our earlier Marriage IQ episodes—because the patterns that drive conflict in marriage haven’t changed, and this conversation is just as relevant today as ever.Ever wonder why the same arguments keep resurfacing in your relationship? Or why small misunderstandings can suddenly spiral into major conflict? In this episode, we explore a powerful (and often invisible) force at work in every marriage: cognitive biases—the unconscious mental shortcuts that shape how we see,

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