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PODCAST

The UnMothered Podcast

Phylis Mantelli

When life gives you a toxic mother, what do you do? You listen, learn, and change your direction! I’m Phylis Mantelli, author of the book “UnMothered: Life With A Mom Who Couldn’t Love Me.” This podcast is a place for mentoring and encouragement as we navigate the complexities of toxic parent relationships. Join me as I share my journey and invite God-filled guests to discuss emotional healing, overcoming childhood trauma, and personal growth. Together, we"ll explore new thoughts and patterns to

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

25:20

Using The Linked® Personality Coaching What Kind Of...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/01/15

When I’m mentoring a woman, I hear this statement a lot “My Mother just doesn’t understand or get me. . .” and today, I am hoping to use this Linked® Personality Guide to fill this gap.A couple of years ago, I became certified as a Linked® Personality coach using the book LINKED® Quick Guide to Personalities by Linda Gilden and Linda Goldfarb. To become certified I had to present my learnings on how they would relate to my area of coaching. I decided to do the presentation on mothers and daughters

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28:25

How Can We Really Handle Grief And How Much Can We...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/01/08

Trigger warning: This week’s episode contains talk about suicide. If you feel the need to skip the episode, feel free to do so.Let’s be honest, grief is a ‘B’.In November/December I had to walk through the many emotions of unexpected tragedy and loss.I was never expecting to do an episode like this when I started my podcast a year ago, but here we are. I know God makes a way for the unthinkable and believe me when I say the unthinkable has happened. For those of you who don’t know, I was dropped to

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26:44

I’m Now A Certified Freedom Movement Coach + What Is...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/01/01

What does it take to be a trauma coach and what is a trauma coach? Why would you need one and how do you find one?In this episode, we are going to dive into what drew me to learn more about what trauma coaching was, how I didn’t know what I didn’t know about my traumas and triggers, and how I found Karrie Scott Garcia to teach me all the things I needed to get truthful about my journey.This past November, I became a certified Freedom Coach in Biblically sound, spirit-filled, & trauma-informed

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00:42

We Are Taking December Off-See You In 2024!

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/12/04

We will still be active on social media if you want to connect with me over there. As always we appreciate your love and support so much and would love it if you take the time to leave us a review! Happy Holidays Peeps, see you in the New Year!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of

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21:43

Does Birth Order Matter With Your Siblings? | Episode 44

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/11/27

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, did you ever think about birth order when growing up? If you are the oldest, what responsibilities did you feel were put on you? The same goes if you are the middle child or a younger one.It’s also a great time to take a few personality tests, just to understand a little bit more. Not to be used as an excuse for your behaviors, but to learn and grow. You should always be open to learning more and taking a different approach when needed, and 100% rely on the

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22:44

Learning About Our Praying Personalities With Janet...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/11/20

Today we are talking with Janet McHenry. She is a national speaker and author of 27 books, including the bestselling PrayerWalk, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, and her new release, Praying Personalities. She directs the prayer ministries at The Bridge Church in Reno and serves on the California leadership team for the National Day of Prayer. The leader of the hundreds-strong Bible Girls and a prayer walker, Janet has helped others foster a hope-filled, purposeful lifestyle built on

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23:49

How To Raise A Family That Works Together, There Is...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/11/13

One of the biggest fears I had when starting a family was, how can I create a healthy family when I hadn’t been brought up in one.If you have not dealt with the issues you have grown up around there can be residual anger that you let out on your child. Or you can end up overcompensating for the things you have lost in your childhood and smother your child.I am so grateful to God for allowing me to work through my issues and be able to pivot when needed, apologize, and be open to learning new

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25:22

How To Maneuver the Holidays When You Grow Up With A...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/11/06

How do we NOT get swept into all the dysfunction and drama from our family?Do we just “peace out” with toxic family members during this time? What if your family is just difficult at best, but not toxic? Ugh, just thinking about the holidays of my childhood makes me want to sweat right now.I recently watched The Bear Season 2 Episode 6: Fishes. And let me tell you, in this particular episode, their mom (played by Jamie Lee Curtis, who I think deserves an Oscar, Emmy, or something for her part.) SHE

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18:38

What To Do When You Realize Your Mommy Issues After...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/10/23

When I became a mother, my heart exploded with love and I was so confused as to how my mother could be so cold to us kids.When you become a mom, it becomes so much more noticeable how much you were Unmothered! How do we learn to do the things of which we were not taught?I couldn’t imagine not pouring out my very best to this beautiful baby. Now that being said, did that baby sometimes drive me crazy with her incessant crying and no-sleep days? Of course.But my love for her outweighed all the

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23:38

How Grief Hits When You Lose An Unloving Family...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/10/16

When you lose a family member most people think you are supposed to be sad, but what happens when that person was hard to love? How can you maneuver through that grief and what kind of feelings do arise?When I was scrolling through Instagram, one of my favorite trauma recovery coaches Nate Postlewait ( https://www.instagram.com/nate_postlethwait ) was talking about this subject. It struck me so hard, that all of our journeys are so complex.One of the things that really stuck out to me that Nate

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20:16

The Truth Of Being A Caregiver To Someone With...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/09/18

Being a caregiver can be an amazing thing, but don’t forget to take care of yourself.I recently watched a short segment on how Bruce Willis’s wife, Emma was taking a break from being a caregiver. As she held back tears, she explained, (although she shouldn’t have to) that even though she is out and about with a smile on her face and it seems she is having fun, she is tired and highly stressed and takes these breaks for her own mental wellbeing.It reminded me of when I was juggling taking care of my

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37:52

What Are Some Signs And Qualities Of A Narcissistic...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/09/11

Let’s dig into a deeper conversation about some signs and qualities that I’ve started to notice about people with narcissistic tendencies. A big question we must ask is, where it comes from (possibly) and what are some signs of things you yourself may be suffering from being around or living with a person who is narcissistic.Upon my reading and studying, I’ve come across a few signs that show your mother might be narcissistic.Explosive or extreme angerCompulsive or inhibited sexualityExtreme shame,

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21:36

When The Root of the Problem Still Remains, How Can...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/08/28

Can you help someone out of their past, if the root of the problem still remains?I was listening to the news recently and heard the story about Michael Oher and his fight with the Tuohy family. It reminded me of how bringing someone into a healthy family can be an amazing thing, but if they don’t do the deep work, the problems will still remain. As a disclaimer, this is only my opinion, and I will be talking in generalizations, not specifically on this case, as I don’t have any inside info.Can you

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26:48

How Can You Identify And Tolerate Having A...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/08/21

Most women don’t even acknowledge that their mom is a narcissist or may be toxic.In order to start your healing journey, you have to NAME the pain that has been done to you in your childhood.And I want to note, I’m not giving out professional advice! Apart from being a certified coach, I am not a doctor or therapist, so please take this as my personal opinion and as my own personal experience in this matter.However, I have studied ways to recognize if your mom may be a narcissist:She has to have

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23:53

When Does Helping Become Enabling & How Many Times Do...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/08/14

There is a difference between helping with love, versus being the person who is allowing the continuation of dysfunction to happen by enabling.I recently watched a movie called ‘To Leslie’ that was an unexpected success in my book, Andrea Riseborough played Leslie and knocked it out of the park as an alcoholic mom. The reason I say this is because as an adult child of an alcoholic, I could relate! This story hit so close to home and was an accurate depiction of how many times I would try to help my

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25:04

Never Have Shame In Naming The Harm That Was Done To...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/08/07

When is it okay to talk about the hard things in your story? Do you feel as if you are allowed?To be able to name the things of harm in your story is not only important, it’s necessary for your healing. For far too long the generations of the past have demanded that we “shut up and move on” or tell us “it wasn’t that bad”.We are told we are being babies and complaining about things we shouldn’t talk about. This is the very reason why most Christians cannot get out of their own way to let God walk

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33:52

Having Confidence In Trusting Your God-Given Instinct...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/06/19

Stacy Leicht is an author, speaker, and veteran teacher. Stacy currently works at UNC-Greensboro in the Education Department where she trains future teachers. Stacy believes there's a story in every seat, and God uniquely made each person with a purpose. She has dealt with physical trauma, being violated by someone she trusted, and the anxiety and fear of having a stalker. Yet, God has replaced those feelings with trust, faithfulness, and abundant love. Stacy's mission is to unveil God's love for

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18:58

The Truth About Growing Up With Emotionally Immature...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/06/12

What was it like growing up in your home?In my home, I feel like I was constantly dealing with a teenager or even a child. While at the time I just thought this was ‘normal’ I later understood that it wasn’t. When you grow up with a parent who is emotionally immature and can’t be the adult in the family relationship it can feel like their needs are paramount to yours. They are physically there, but not mentally. There was no room for me to feel anything, and that is why I am so passionate about

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33:51

What Mental Health And Walking Through The Grief With...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/06/05

Andrea M. Nyberg is an author, speaker, and photographer passionate about (re)framing the collision of faith and mental health and its impact on our identity, emotions, and relationships. Her debut book, I’m Such A Messterpiece, invites others who are facing a crisis of faith and identity to consider that pain and hope can hold hands and a mess can still be a masterpiece. Andrea holds a master of arts in educational leadership from Gateway Seminary and serves in various leadership roles in her

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20:38

Loving Your Mom Through Anger, Can You Accomplish It?...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2023/05/29

Let’s be honest. . .You can still love your mom from afar, but what are these feelings of love and hate for our moms?Can we just “get over” it?Let's discuss the good, bad, and ugly of having a difficult, abusive mom. And by abusive, it can be emotionally abusive which is sometimes more hurtful than physical because the scars are on the inside. I sat with so many women who have stories of getting angry with their moms and I see others on social media who have excuses for their feelings.Some questions

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