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PODCAST

Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

34:18

131. Breaking Up with Someone You’ve Been Cheating On

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/03/09

When you decide that it’s time to break up with someone you’ve been cheating on, you’ll likely have a lot of questions about how to ensure the person you’re breaking up with does not find out about the infidelity. Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing the benefit of properly preparing for your breakup, why breaking up itself might arouse suspicion of cheating, and some practical strategies for a good breakup so you can deal with anything that comes up in the process. Get full show notes and

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25:23

130. Implicit Permission to Cheat

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/03/02

Say you and your partner started off as a monogamous couple, but then you started discussing “alternate arrangements” and it turned out that although you were very enthusiastic about the idea of opening your relationship up, your partner really wasn’t. It's not uncommon in these kinds of scenarios for your partner to offer you implicit permission to cheat, or at least pursue sexual connections outside of your relationship. Discover what implicit permission to cheat can look like in your

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30:06

129. Cultivating Clarity and Certainty (Part 2)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/02/23

If you’re in the midst of an infidelity situation and you’re confused about what to do next, it’s generally the case that you may be using your mind in ways that are not actually helpful in cultivating the clarity and certainty you crave. Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to start intentionally creating clarity and certainty, even if it feels impossible right now, so you can make intentional decisions instead of sitting in the anguish of uncertainty. Get full show notes and more information

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40:45

128. Cultivating Clarity and Certainty

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/02/16

Discover the value of cultivating clarity and certainty for yourself. You’ll hear a story that illustrates this point, and why changing your thoughts based on other people’s opinions or societal norms around your infidelity situation will never produce the certainty and clarity you’re seeking. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/128

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28:08

127. The Limits of Other People’s Advice

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/02/09

Discover why you want to seek out advice from others, and why this might not be the best idea when it comes to your infidelity situation. Dr. Marie Murphy is giving you some useful insights into why it’s not the advice that matters, but what you decide to do with it, and how you think about the results. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/127

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33:24

126. Regret is Optional

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/02/02

Tune in this week to discover why regret is optional, and how you can start preventing or minimizing it when it comes up for you. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing why getting a handle on your relationship with regret is invaluable in dealing with your infidelity situation, and showing you how to take your preferences and priorities seriously, reducing or even eliminating the possibility of regret. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/126

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38:04

125: Privately Grieving the End of an Affair

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/01/26

If you truly believe you must hide your grief at the end of your affair relationship and not share the reality of what you’re going through with anyone, this episode is for you. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing how to deal with this situation in a more empowering way than believing you have to operate a certain way, and offering you some practices you can use when you’re in this kind of pain. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/125

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36:07

124: Dealing with Other People’s Discomfort (Part 2)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/01/19

If you’re doing everything you can to make choices you think will make other people happy, this episode is for you. Discomfort and unpleasant emotions are naturally occurring things, and they don’t need to be considered problematic. So, tune in this week to discover how to understand your own discomfort, and begin trusting that other people can handle their uncomfortable emotions so you can make decisions about your affair situation based on what you want instead of trying to keep everybody happy

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27:44

123: Abundance vs. Scarcity of Love

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/01/12

If you’re scared of making a decision about leaving your marriage, ending your affair, or dealing with any circumstances related to your infidelity because you’re afraid it will all end horribly, this episode is for you. People often get hung up in comparing the stability and comfort of their long-term relationship versus the excitement and passion of their affair, but have you considered that you could have all of it with just one person? Tune in this week to discover how to start thinking more

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30:23

122: Yes, People Can Be Total Jerks Sometimes

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2023/01/05

Whether you’re worried about your children, your friends, or your extended family giving you a hard time about your relationship that started as an infidelity situation, this episode is for you. Dr. Marie Murphy is explaining why you get to choose how to approach any situation where someone important to you is being a jerk, and what you need to consider when making a decision about how you want to present your new relationship to the people who might be upset with you. Get full show notes

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37:54

121: How Good Can You Stand It?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/12/29

Discover how to allow yourself to want things, and that it’s safe to allow yourself to enjoy what you want. Even if you and your affair partner are both married with children and you’re worried about the consequences if you’re honest about your desires, Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to open yourself up to the possibility that any situation you’re in could be as good as you can stand it. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/121

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29:03

120: Managing Your Worries

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/12/22

If there is something in your life that you want to address, like an infidelity situation, worry is usually the first thing that comes to mind. Infidelity situations can feel confusing and overwhelming for so many different reasons, and it’s so easy to get lost in your unhelpful patterns of thinking. Tune in this week because Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing how you can deal with your brain’s tendency to worry and really start managing your worries in a much more helpful way. Get full show

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24:40

119: Explaining How a Relationship Began

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/12/15

If you’re concerned about how you might explain how your affair relationship began, tune in this week to discover why, even though there will be people in your life who demand answers, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing why judgment from others is an inevitability, but why you always have the opportunity to accept the humanness of your actions, and decide how you actually want to move forward. Get full show notes and more information here:

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22:30

118: The Intimacy of a Breakup

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/12/08

Tune in this week to discover why the honesty and intensity of a breakup often reignites a sense of intimacy that seemed otherwise lost. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing how to recognize whether you’ve been thrown off by the intimacy of your breakup, whether you’ve actually reconnected and want to stay together, and what you need to consider to consciously decide how you want to move forward. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/118

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35:11

117: Jealousy

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/12/01

Jealousy occurs within the context of any relationship. However, when you’re shifting from an affair into a non-affair relationship, it’s a particularly common issue. In this episode, you’ll learn the thoughts that lead people to believe their partner definitely will cheat on them, and why you get to choose how you approach the idea of your partner cheating, whether you want to accept it and enjoy the relationship anyway, or choose something else. Get full show notes and more information

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30:10

116: Uniquely Difficult Situations in Life

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/11/24

Tune in this week as Dr. Marie Murphy shows you why, while you always get to decide what counts as a good reason to postpone taking any kind of action relating to your infidelity situation, waiting probably isn’t going to make it any easier. You’ll discover how the energy required to delay a decision could be better spent cultivating the willingness to do the hard thing, whether that’s pursuing your affair, coming clean, breaking it off, or any other way of dealing with this uniquely difficult

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39:33

115: From an Affair to a Non-Affair Relationship

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/11/17

Tune in this week to discover what you’re trying to avoid by telling yourself you can’t transition from an affair into a non-affair or “normal” relationship. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing how believing that your relationship simply can’t work is impacting how you’re showing up in that relationship, and how to instead pursue your relationship your way, even if it means uncertainty and vulnerability along the way. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/115

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30:43

114: Questioning Common Beliefs About Marriage

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/11/10

Tune in this week to start questioning the common beliefs about marriage that make so many infidelity situations so much more difficult to deal with. You’ll learn how unexamined beliefs keep you stuck in situations you don’t love, while being conscious of how your thoughts and beliefs influence your behavior will bring you the freedom and power to make the choice you really want to make. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/114

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27:18

113. Wanting Something and Not Having It Yet

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/11/03

By allowing yourself to want something or someone, contending with the experience of not getting what you want is inevitable. So, how do you deal with the ache of deeply wanting something and not having it yet? And why could this be the key to getting the result you truly want in your infidelity situation? Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/113

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32:56

112. Being a Human Feels Terrible Sometimes

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/10/27

Tune in this week for a discussion on why being a human feels terrible sometimes. Dr. Marie Murphy is exploring why the traditionally prescribed intolerance of feeling awful isn’t actually helpful, why as a society we’ve never normalized feeling terrible, and how to deal with feeling uncomfortable emotions without making it a problem that needs to be immediately solved. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/112

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