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PODCAST

Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

35:47

222: Dating for the First Time in a Long Time

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/12/04

The fear of dating again after a long period of not dating is definitely a factor that keeps some people from thinking clearly about what they want to do about their infidelity situation. In this episode, I'm addressing the terror and dislike many people have about contending with the world of dating, especially when they've been in committed relationships for years and find themselves navigating infidelity. I work with clients who are convinced the stakes of their infidelity situation are very

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35:54

221: Why I Work with Affair Couples as Individuals

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/11/20

Working with couples separately might seem counterintuitive when challenges arise. The dominant cultural narrative tells us that relationship problems require both partners in the same room with a therapist, working through issues together. But what if this approach actually reinforces the very dynamics that create unnecessary suffering in relationships? I regularly get asked if I work with affair couples, and the answer is absolutely yes - but not in the traditional couples counseling format

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32:40

220: Vacillating Between Two Relationships

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/11/06

Going back and forth between two relationships can feel like being trapped in an endless ping-pong match. One moment you're certain about choosing your spouse, the next you're convinced your affair partner is the one. This exhausting cycle of changing your mind (sometimes within hours or even minutes) can leave you wondering if there's something fundamentally wrong with you. When you're caught between two people you genuinely care about, the act of choosing becomes surprisingly complex. I work

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01:03:14

219: Thriving After Infidelity: Michael’s Story

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/10/23

Maybe you're in the midst of an affair, paralyzed by guilt and uncertainty. Maybe you're losing sleep, watching your health decline, and feeling like there's no good way out. Today, I want to share a remarkable story that might change how you see what's possible. The guilt was unbearable. Michael couldn't sleep, his health was declining, and he felt trapped between two worlds - a marriage that had become a roommate situation and memories of an affair that had awakened something he'd been missing

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31:59

218: Creating the Future vs. Predicting the Future

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/10/09

You're already making plans for tomorrow without knowing if the internet will crash, your dog will have an emergency, or an earthquake will hit. You're creating your future every single day, despite life's fundamental uncertainty. Yet when it comes to your infidelity situation, you might be waiting for a crystal ball to show you exactly how things will turn out before making any moves. So many people tell me they need to know what divorce feels like before deciding to get divorced, or they need

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31:32

217: The Perils of Telling the Truth

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/09/25

Have you ever felt proud of yourself for telling the truth… only to later wonder if you should have approached it differently? We often think of truth-telling as an absolute good - something that's always right and beneficial. But what if I told you that, sometimes, the truth we choose to tell isn't necessarily the most important or useful truth in a situation? This week, I share a story about how a dead rat smell in a yoga studio became the catalyst for a profound lesson about truth-telling,

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33:51

216: When Your Affair Partner Breaks Your Heart

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/09/11

Have you ever had someone walk out of your life without warning, only to reappear months later as if nothing happened? It's complicated enough when it happens in regular relationships. But when it involves an affair partner, the complexity multiplies tenfold. This kind of heartbreak hits differently when the relationship itself existed in secrecy, making the grief even more isolating. Join me this week as I tackle the heart-wrenching reality of what happens when an affair partner breaks your

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29:47

215: Secretly Dating While You’re Married

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/08/28

Have you ever thought about "checking out your options" before making a big relationship decision? It seems logical, right? Why make a life-changing choice without knowing what else is out there? When you're married but questioning whether you want to stay that way, the unknown can feel paralyzing. Join me this week as I dive into why people choose to secretly date while married and what actually happens when they do. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information

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31:58

214: What If You Make the “Wrong Decision” About Your...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/08/14

Have you ever been paralyzed by the fear of making the "wrong" decision about your relationship(s)? Maybe you're considering leaving your marriage, ending an affair, or making another significant change in your relationship status. And maybe the fear of regret is keeping you stuck. Making major relationship decisions can feel like standing at the edge of a cliff, knowing that once you jump, there's no going back. In this episode, I break down exactly what to do when you find yourself living

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23:07

213: Beginnings and Endings

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/04/10

Is it really okay to end something that's working well? After much consideration, I've decided to pause production of Your Secret is Safe With Me indefinitely while I pursue new creative endeavors. This decision wasn't made because anything is wrong—quite the opposite. My experience with this transition mirrors what many of my clients face in their relationships and life choices. There's often a belief that we shouldn't end something that's "good enough" or that we must finish everything we've

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46:18

212: Choosing Between Two Good Things

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/03/27

Have you ever felt stuck between two good choices? Through my personal story of leaving a life I loved to join the Peace Corps, I illustrate how choosing between two good things - while challenging - can lead to profound growth and fulfillment. If you're struggling with a decision that feels impossible because both options have value, this episode is for you. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/212

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33:19

211. Dealing With Your Personal Problems When the...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/03/13

Feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world? Wondering how to focus on your own personal struggles—like dealing with infidelity—when global crises seem so much bigger? In this episode, I explore how to stay engaged with the world's problems without being consumed by them. You'll learn why tending to your own challenges is not selfish but essential, and how taking responsibility for what you can control helps you build resilience and show up for yourself and others. Get full show notes,

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33:12

210. Sex Work and Infidelity Part 2

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/02/27

Does your partner's sexual past make you uncomfortable? What if you found out they had exchanged sex for money before you met - would that feel like cheating? These are the kinds of thorny questions I tackle head-on in this week’s episode. I’ll help you examine your beliefs about sex work, infidelity, and how much of our pasts we need to share with new partners. Whether you've been on either side of this situation or are just curious to expand your perspective, you'll gain valuable insights for

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01:13:49

209. Astrology and Infidelity with Karen Hawkwood...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/02/13

Have you ever felt like you have competing desires when it comes to relationships? Like part of you craves freedom and adventure while another part yearns for deep intimacy and stability? Astrologer Karen Hawkwood joins me this week to discuss how astrology can provide a framework for understanding these complex and often paradoxical needs. We also discuss how legitimizing all parts of ourselves, even the ones that seem to be in conflict, is key to finding more peace in our love lives. If you've

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34:01

208. Sex Work and Infidelity Part 1

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/01/30

Is paying for sex cheating? In this week’s episode, I dive into the complex intersection of sex work and infidelity. I explore how to be a conscious consumer of sexual services, the social stigma around sex work, and the diversity of experiences within the industry. I also address listener questions about the risks and benefits of seeing sex workers versus having an affair. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/208

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01:12:04

207. Astrology and Infidelity with Karen Hawkwood

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/01/16

Have you ever wondered if your astrological chart holds clues to your relationship patterns and tendencies? In this episode, I sit down with teacher and practitioner of archetypal astrology, Karen Hawkwood, to explore how astrology can provide valuable insights into the parts of ourselves that shape our experiences with infidelity. Whether you're well-versed in astrology or simply curious about how it might relate to your own infidelity situation, this episode offers a thought-provoking

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14:54

206. Where Do You Want to Be a Year from Now?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2025/01/02

What would your life look like a year from now if you resolved your infidelity situation in a way that felt really amazing to you? Do you struggle to imagine what resolving your infidelity situation could look like? Listen in this week as I dive into the power of envisioning your ideal future and guide you through a series of prompts that will help you imagine the most delightful, satisfying resolution to your infidelity situation. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information

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17:19

205. What Can You Give Yourself More Credit For?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2024/12/19

What if I told you that the key to making positive changes in your life is self-love and acceptance, not self-loathing? It may sound counterintuitive, but giving yourself credit for what you HAVE done can be incredibly motivating, especially if you've been beating yourself up over infidelity. In this episode, I guide you through an exercise to reflect on your accomplishments, big and small, over the past year. You'll be amazed at how empowering it feels! Get full show notes, transcript, and more

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36:01

204. The Challenges of Infidelity During the Holidays

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2024/12/05

Do the holidays have you feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place in your infidelity situation? You're not alone. Trying to balance family obligations with an affair partner's desires can seem impossible. But even when you don't like your options, you still have choices. In this episode, I explore real-world scenarios and discuss how to identify your options, make decisions you feel good about, and take responsibility for your own happiness - no matter what your affair partner or spouse

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38:41

203. Your Money or Your Freedom

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2024/11/21

What's more important to you - your money or your freedom? If you're stuck in a marriage you don't want to be in but are reluctant to leave because you don't want to lose half your wealth, you're not alone. Many of my clients grapple with this dilemma. In this episode, I dig into what money really means to you and how to weigh that against the freedom to live life on your own terms. I share strategies to get clear on your values and make empowered choices so you can start untangling your

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222 results

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