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PODCAST

After the Affair

The ‘After the affair’ podcast with Luke Shillings is here to help you process, decide, and move forward on purpose following infidelity. Let’s explore what’s required to rebuild trust not only in yourself, but also with others. Whether you stay or leave, I can help! and no matter what your story, there will be something here for you.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

20:46

26. Secrets of an Infidelity Coach

After the Affair ·

2023/03/22

In this week's episode, I delve into the secrets of being an infidelity coach and how I help couples and individuals navigate the aftermath of betrayal. From rebuilding trust to addressing the root causes of the infidelity, I share insights on how to heal and move forward in a healthy way. Plus I also answer questions about the biggest myths of infidelity and what has suprised me most along the way! Email me at luke@lifecoachluke.com Receive the latest insights and tips to overcome infidelity by

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14:56

25. The Power of Limerence

After the Affair ·

2023/03/15

'Limerence' to infidelity, is like 'Furlough' was to Covid. A word that most people had never heard of, before being unwillingly forced into the situation. In this episode I discusses the experience of limerence in extramarital affairs, highlighting its potential for destruction in committed relationships. Limerence is a complex psychological phenomenon that can arise from physical or emotional attraction and displays with intense, unpredictable feelings and actions, leaving little control for

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17:50

24. Jealousy Unmasked

After the Affair ·

2023/03/08

'Jealousy Unmasked' explores the topic of jealousy in relationships (Including post infidelity). I discuss common sources of jealousy, how it can manifest in different ways, and the difference between healthy and unhealthy jealousy. I also provide strategies for managing jealousy, such as identifying the root cause, communicating openly and honestly, practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and seeking professional help if needed. www.lifecoachluke.com/subscribe for your infidelity specific weekly

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11:59

23. The Danger of People Pleasing

After the Affair ·

2023/03/01

If you have ever found yourself saying 'yes', when you meant 'no' .... then this episode is a must listen! People pleasing shows up in many relationships and can be a key element in the breakdown of those relationships. Learn what it is, where it comes from, why we do it and what you can do to eradicate it from your life. Ask me your questions for a future episode - Email luke@lifecoachluke.com Simply ask your question, make your suggestion and put 'PODCAST QUESTION' in the subject line and I

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13:54

22. The Blame Shame Game

After the Affair ·

2023/02/22

Healing from an affair is complicated. One often overlooked part of the healing process is understanding the effects that blame and shame have recovery. They are closely intertwined and in todays episode I explain why, and offer tips on how to overcome it. Join the weekly mailing list - www.lifecoachluke.com/subscribe Reach out directly to me at: luke@lifecoachluke.com

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14:39

21. Why People Cheat

After the Affair ·

2023/02/15

Ever wondered why people choose to be unfaithful. What makes betrayal so difficult to resist? Learn some of the reasons in this episode and as always, some useful tips on how to handle them. https://linktr.ee/lifecoachluke luke@lifecoachluke.com

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17:35

20. How to handle any problem.

After the Affair ·

2023/02/08

Learn how I handle any problem, and how you can do the same. To find out more, grab a drink and pop your headphones on! To subscribe to my weekly mailing list, visit - www.lifecoachluke.com/subscribe and if you haven't already, get my FREE first steps guide today by visiting www.lifecoachluke.com

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14:34

19. Confidence After Infidelity

After the Affair ·

2023/02/01

Infidelity can have a major and lasting effect on confidence. Do you understand the difference between confidence and self-confidence? Today I will explore the relationship between the two and how you can rebuild your confidence after infidelity. Do you have a question that Google can't quite answer, it's too generic? I know the feeling ... I just wanted someone to help me with my specific issue. This is something that wasn't available at the time but I can now offer this to you. Visit:

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15:46

18. Road to Forgiveness

After the Affair ·

2023/01/25

The road to forgiveness is a challenging journey, but it is one well worth taking. There are many misconceptions that say we shouldn't let them off the hook, they should pay for their betrayal, and you should seek revenge at the earliest opportunity. In this episode, I'll look at what forgiveness is, common misconceptions, why you should forgive, learn if you are ready to forgive, and finally ... how to forgive. Website: www.lifecoachluke.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/mylifecoachluke Instagram:

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14:12

17. It’s all Lies

After the Affair ·

2023/01/18

Lies form a very real part of the world we live in. From the innocent white lies we tell our children, to the scandals in government, and everything in between. Do lies serve a real purpose? How do you want to think about the lies you have told? Join me in this week's episode to explore a variety of examples, get under the skin of why we lie and what we can do about it going forward. Enjoy! If you're ready to figure out what you need to do next after infidelity, then schedule a completely free

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15:32

16. Best way to Heal

After the Affair ·

2023/01/11

There are lots of ways people choose or recommend as the way to heal from betrayal but that raises a question ... Is there a 'Best way to heal' from infidelity? Listen to find out. Website: www.lifecoachluke.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/mylifecoachluke Instagram: www.instagram.com/mylifecoachluke LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mylifecoachluke

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14:24

15.The Motivational Triad

After the Affair ·

2023/01/04

Happy New Year! Let's make 2023 the turning point in your recovery. Today's episode is all about the Motivational Triad. This is the human need to; - Seek pleasure - Avoid pain - Expend the least energy This shows up in our lives daily and it makes perfect sense from an evolutionary perspective, but in today's world where food and material items are in abundance ... it often leads us to behave in ways that no longer serve us. Listen to learn more! If you've been listening for a while, now is

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09:21

14. Put it to Work

After the Affair ·

2022/12/21

Come on, admit it. We are all guilty for consuming a great piece of advice, reading and inspirational quote in a magazine or learning that new technique on a webinar but, how often do you actively put that new found knowledge into practice. I know from experience how easy it is to passively consume information, but then realise that nothing is changing for me because I haven't implemented any of it! This week is all about reflecting back on some of the key takeaways from the first 13

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15:21

13. Know Your Boundaries

After the Affair ·

2022/12/14

What boundaries do you have in your relationships? Have you ever intentionally set a boundary? What is expected of other people who infringe on your emotional boundaries? Find out the answers to these questions and many more in today's episode. I love to hear all of your questions that come to mind when you are listening to the episodes, let me know what comes up for you. Leave a comment, send an email or reach out on social media. Website: www.lifecoachluke.com Facebook:

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21:11

12. The Rulebook

After the Affair ·

2022/12/07

Following on from last weeks episode I explore the list of rules that we have for our partners. How they are something that we don't even notice yet they dictate our expectations and ultimately our feelings if left unchecked. In addition, to sign up for the upcoming Heal for Holidays workshop which will be held on Tuesday 13th December 2022 at 9am CT and 3pm UK time, click >>here!

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12:33

11. Rose Tinted Glassed or Not

After the Affair ·

2022/12/02

We all see the world through a different lens. Sometimes it's easy to use the analogy of Rose-Tinted Glasses where you only see the positives, this would be great but is often not always the case! This episode, along with next week's episode will look at the lists we have in our mind that act like a filter ... not dissimilar to Rose-Tinted Glasses. Enjoy! Website: www.lifecoachluke.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/mylifecoachluke Instagram: www.instagram.com/mylifecoachluke LinkedIn:

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42:08

10. When Things Seemed Fine

After the Affair ·

2022/11/23

For episode 10, we're doing something a little different. Whatever it is that you are going through, whatever stage of recovery you are at, there is always someone else out there who is experiencing something similar. Simply becoming aware of this, might just make you feel a little less alone on this journey. Today I'm having a very open conversation with Mike who experienced infidelity back in 2006. If you would like to share your story on a future episode, then send me an email with a brief

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21:08

9. Rebuild Trust

After the Affair ·

2022/11/16

Such a common question after infidelity, how do I rebuild trust? How can I ever trust again? I could talk about this subject for hours but I've kept it to around 20 minutes so it will be manageable and accessible to all. If you've found this episode useful, or any episode for that matter... leave a review, it really helps to get it to more people like you who really need it right now. Thank you so much! Book a FREE discovery call to help you take a step forward in your recovery -

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20:38

8. Choosing to Stay

After the Affair ·

2022/11/09

REGISTER HERE --> www.lifecoachluke.com/holidays Click above to join us on Sunday 13th November at 12pm central time/6pm UK time. If you can't make the live event, still register and you'll get access to the recording. Attend as the betrayed spouse, the wayward spouse or as a couple. This week I am answering questions from men who have chosen to stay after discovery of the affair. Some of the issues discussed are: - Triggers - Intrusive thoughts - Choosing thoughts and seeking evidence - Knowing

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16:20

7. Don’t Mention the ’F’ Word

After the Affair ·

2022/11/02

Feelings! It's all about feelings. Feelings/emotions are the fuel for everything we do. In this episode you'll learn what feelings are, why they matter and most importantly... what to do with them! This episode is relevant to anyone with a brain! Not just those who have been through infidelity. Want to work together? Let's talk ... book a completely free, no obligation chat with me right now - www.lifecoachluke.com/booking-calendar/discovery-call Want to learn more? Visit: Website:

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