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PODCAST

Green Cows Don"t Fly

Writers B. and Jon are co-hosts of Green Cows Don"t Fly. Once upon a time they enlisted the help of A I to write two fantasy quest novels which are now available on Amazon here https://amzn.to/3MIZKoh But now in their new ground-breaking extravaganza: The None Show, they meet every week in the Green Room Café to talk about everything and anything and are always looking for suggestions for topics. So if you"d like to get involved in the general mayhem and madness then please do contact the show at:

comedy

All Episodes

22:57

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 14. Murder most foul....

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/02/14

Dawn breaks over the Scary Mountains, but oh, dear, one of the questers was murdered during the night. Whoever it is, he/she will have a cactus on his/her grave.You can also follow us on social media:Twitter:@GreenCowsPodInstagram: green_cows_dont_flyemail: gcdontfly@gmail.commusic & artwork:Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT - xelementumign1s Pixabay Art: https://pixabay.com/thejakesmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy

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24:43

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 13. It's An Evil Wind...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/02/07

Newbie Scarchaal appoints himself as the leader of the quest, and Grandolf is not happy about that. The girls however don't care. They are busy, swooning and drooling over his handsomeness. Scarchaal's handsomeness, that is. Helooks like Sylvester Stallone.'Grrrr', thinks Grandolf, 'just you wait.' And so, the Questers start their ascent over the Scary Mountains but soon they are battling fierce and unnatural winds.You can also follow us on social media:Twitter:@GreenCowsPodInstagram:

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23:25

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 12. A light in the...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/01/31

Thank goodness the sun is restored because all that groping in the dark was getting out of hand. Grandolf and Co. consult the map for the next set of instructions. How will they ever get to Bognor Regis? It would seem something big and scary is in their way. You can also follow us on social media: Twitter:@GreenCowsPodInsta: green_cows_dont_flyemail: gcdontfly@gmail.comShow Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's FickaBook Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT - xelementumign1s

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23:12

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 11. Black Hole Sun...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/01/24

In (quite literally) the darkest episode yet of The Quester's Guide To Saving It, (The World That is) B. & Jon lose the plot, furtive groping is the order of the day, a passing Elvis fan joins the group and then a know-it-all turns up. Will the questers ever see daylight again?You can also follow us on social media: Twitter:@GreenCowsPodInsta: green_cows_dont_flyemail: gcdontfly@gmail.comShow Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's FickaBook Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT -

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22:02

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 10. The Long Arm of the...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/01/17

Grandolf and Bob are enveloped in a swirling green mist as they teleport through the filing cabinet. Fell beings want to take them to the Awful Place. it sounds truly awful. New questers join the party along with a pair of Bodie and Doyle wannabes. It's getting madder by the minute.You can also follow us on social media: Twitter:@GreenCowsPodInsta: green_cows_dont_flyShow Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's FickaBook Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT - xelementumign1s PixabayArt:

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26:02

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 9. Grandolf and Bob...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/01/10

Grandolf and Bob finally, finally, go on their quest, and the first stage takes them to ... the job centre.You can also follow us on social media: Twitter:@GreenCowsPodInsta: green_cows_dont_flyShow Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's FickaBook Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT - xelementumign1s PixabayArt: https://pixabay.com/thejakesmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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23:26

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 8. - Let's Get Ready to...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2022/01/03

A fight breaks out in the loft, but who is fighting who and why? And who will win? All that and a bit more will be revealed as we resume the story with chapter 8.You can also follow us on social media: Twitter:@GreenCowsPodInsta: green_cows_dont_flyShow Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's FickaBook Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT - xelementumign1s PixabayArt: https://pixabay.com/thejakesmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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22:24

Christmas Special 2021 - Christmas Crackers

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2021/12/21

In this is standalone short story featuring Pub Landlord, Grandolf Smith, before he was chosen to save the world, we feature a heartwarming festive tale full of peace, joy and goodwill to all (yeah, right). Our A I has turned its hand to Christmas, but as usual seems not to have quite got the hang of it. All sorts of things happen in Tesco's car park but not many like this.Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's FickaBook Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT - xelementumign1s

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24:21

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 7. A Gunshot In The Bar...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2021/12/17

Someone has been shot and someone else appears to be a... sorry, no spoilers. Featuring a gripping death scene with more final breaths than there are fans queuing at a typical GRR Martin book signing, you're just going to have to listen to find out if they, our questers, that is, can still save humanity with all this stuff going on.You can also follow us on social media: Twitter:@GreenCowsPodInsta: green_cows_dont_flyShow Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's FickaBook Theme:

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18:45

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 6. Dragon Flight Into...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2021/12/10

Jon and B are back with another episode. In this chapter, Grandolf, Bob and Faybreeze are faced with certain disaster. The map dragons have been released.The map has been torn in two. Oh sheet. A torn map is a useless map. They can't save the world without an intact map. How are they going to fix that little problem? Just when they think they've sorted it, something really bad happens downstairs in the bar.You can also follow us on social media: Twitter:@GreenCowsPodInsta: green_cows_dont_flyShow

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23:08

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 5 The Mysterious...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2021/12/03

The mysterious and scary looking Faybreeze arrives, and she’s brought an essential item every quest needs. Nobody rip it up, please. And who released the microscopically small dragons? Tune into episode 5 to find out who is sporting a scary combover. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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21:53

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 4. Revelations and...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2021/11/26

Grandolf is a bit reluctant to go on this quest to save the world. After all he has better things to do. Just then, a very important visitor arrives through the rift in space time continuum. And the visitor is scary. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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27:44

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 3. Saving Humanity

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2021/11/19

Grandolf is back, and he hasn't got rid if his new friend, Bob the hologram, yet. Is Bob still drunk? For those listeners who like fantasy, we give you: an otherworldly king with a silly name, who wants to invade earth but is too fat to fit through the rift in the space-time continuum which has an equally ridiculous name. Oh, and there's a quest to save humanity. By the way, hologram Bob likes to sing karaoke. ABBA are his fave.Are B and Jon being followed by Russian spies? Maybe. Tune in to find

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26:35

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 2. Drunk In The Attic

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2021/11/18

Drunk In The AtticExhausted from throwing dead Russians in his (talking) dumpster, Grandolf fetches a bottle of his homebrewed blackcurrant wine. But when he opens the bottle, he finds a mysterious device inside. Then something weird happens, actually, a whole load of weird stuff happens - you're just going to have to listen - and Grandolf is given the quest of a lifetime (the kind of quest a certain famous Hollywood actor might just be very envious of). Luckily, Grandolf has particular set of

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16:29

The Quester's Guide - Chapter 1. Out Back In The Car...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2021/11/17

AI (Artificial Intelligence, that is) has delivered the goods and the stage is set. Meet Grandolf, a disgraced actor, now owner of the All Evil Arms pub. Having been forced to give up a career in Hollywood (he had an argument with Sylvester Stallone), Grandolf has settled in a remote UK village for a quiet life, but out back in the carpark is a rubbish container. A very strange rubbish container.Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's FickaBook Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT -

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1:57

Quester's Guide - Trailer

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2021/11/02

The the stage is almost set. The cows have got all their ducks in a row, and Green Cows Don't Fly is about to be launched. Listen every Friday as two lazy writers present their new fantasy / crime noir mash-up novel written by Artificial Intelligence and read by out of work computerised voiceover aritste, Brian.Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG - Rune-Bertil's Pandora's FickaBook Theme: https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT - xelementumign1s PixabayLogo: Created by the guys at Multiverse of Badness Podcast

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