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PODCAST

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. If you want deep dating advice, help with relationships, or tips on how to have sex with women in a way they'll swoon over, c'mon in. Personal growth is sexy, haven't you heard? And if you're ready to do the work, come work with us -- we'd love to

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

66:46

283: How to go from stuck ... to unstuck ... to...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/11/17

"What should I do with my life?"It's a question most of us ask ourselves (sometimes on repeat!), and one many of us could use more guidance around. Knowing the answer matters for several reasons, and one is that it naturally generates polarity with a partner. In sex, dating, and relationships, you, as a man, will polarize women far more when you know who you are and what you're about. It will bring you energy and give you direction, which is naturally polarizing.But how the hell do

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49:46

282: Anal sex! Yep, we’re talkin’ about it. (ft. Sara)

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/11/10

Ever wanted to explore the dark side of the moon? ;) If you've ever been curious about anal sex -- or enjoy it already and want to hear what others have to say -- this one's for you.Here we hear from one woman who really enjoys anal, and another who hasn’t had great experiences with it (yet). We also talk a lot about how to open up a conversation with your partner about it (i.e. how do you say, "I'd like to try anal sex. Would you?"). And we cover the shame that can be inherent

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55:31

281: How do I say, 'I need you to have more support...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/11/03

One pattern we've often seen in our clients (and lived ourselves) is feeling like our partner needs us in order to feel OK. This can start to feel like a burden, especially if it's a constant pattern.The truth is, it is each partner’s responsibility to tend to their nervous systems and be able to regulate their emotions enough to be able to regularly come to the relationship with presence and energy.But what do you do when someone's going through a hard time, or they've gotten used

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60:17

280: How do I tell my partner I want something...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/10/27

Ahhh, the conundrum: Your partner does something you don't like but you don't know how to say so, so you just let it ride (and resentment builds). Or there's something you do want from her ... but you don't know how to say it.This can also sound like, "How do I tell my partner I want something without seeming demanding?" or, "How do I share my needs without being needy?" or, "How do I tell her [something hard] without pissing her off, or having her feeling

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67:18

279: "You don’t have to be with someone who makes you...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/10/20

Ever felt stuck in a sexless or passionless relationship? Or craved more in a relationship but didn't know how to get there? Then you're going to love this episode.Allison and Jeff were both in sexless marriages before they got together. And as is almost always the case, sex is about more than just the sex -- it's also about connection, intimacy, joy, fire, and aliveness. The lack of it can feel stifling, or even soul-crushing.As Jeff put it, "I wasn’t with someone that made me feel

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67:22

278: Need a breakthrough? Try breathwork. (ft. Luke...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/10/13

In my work with men, I often find that stuck or stagnant energy is blocking success in a man's life. He's not getting what he wants in sex, connection, intimacy, or all of the above -- and he doesn't know what to do about it.Whether it's a single man struggling with sexual shame, a married man trying to figure out why it's so hard for him to lead his wife, or a man who's dating and noticing that he gets really triggered when he feels criticized by a woman (even if he knows

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70:18

277: Want to maximize polarity? Learn to do this...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/10/06

Here's some potent relationship advice: Learn to be skillful with transitions!If you've ever been in a dating relationship or long-term, committed relationship, you've likely experienced the chaos that ensues if you don't handle transitions well. For example, if you come home from work and you're not actually ready to be present with your wife or kids, it's likely someone will be pissed. ;)Transitions are about more than just that scenario, though. They're relevant in the

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67:34

276: I may want an open relationship. How do tell my...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/09/29

"I’m curious about open relationships. How do I talk to my partner about it?"This is one of those thorny sex & relationship topics that a lot of us tread lightly around. We know it's sensitive, and if we're past the dating phase (i.e. we're married/in a long-term committed relationship), it can feel like the stakes are high. Like if we even raise the question, we could jeopardize this relationship that means a lot to us.If you've ever wondered how to bring up possibly

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52:34

275: What's life like as an erotica writer? (ft. Ruan...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/09/22

When we think about sexy turn-ons and arousal -- especially when we're engaging in solo play -- many of us think about visual porn. The numbers bear this out: according to Psychology Today, 80% of men and 26% of women have watched internet porn within the last week.But what about other ways of being turned on? Specifically, what about erotica?It turns out a whole bunch of men are into audio porn (oh hi, ASMR) as well as story-based erotica and erotic fiction. This week's guest is an erotic

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54:36

274: How do you make sure you're not coming off as...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/09/15

How do you know if you're being creepy? For many of our clients, the fear of making a woman uncomfortable -- or being seen as creepy -- can be debilitating or even paralyzing. These men are often concerned that they're "bad" just for wanting sex (hint: You're not. You're just human.).If you've ever been afraid of being perceived as creepy or a pervert, you're not alone -- even men in relationships have this fear. Much of it stems from early childhood experiences,

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61:39

273: 3 myths about self-love ... and why it matters...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/09/08

Ever found yourself resentful of a relationship partner? Maybe you feel like you're always giving and never getting much in return. Perhaps you've seen her as selfish, not providing you with the respect, love, attention, or sex you need in order to feel connected.Everyone has heard, "You can't love someone else until you love yourself," but what does loving yourself actually mean? Hint: It's not just taking bubble baths or treating yourself to fancy pastries.Self-love is the

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75:50

272: Your woman wants you to tussle with her. Yes,...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/09/01

Let's be real: For many men, it's often hard to figure out women. Moods change quickly, and often you know something is going on but you're not sure what (or how to find out). It's also hard when you feel like nothing you do is ever enough for her.Here we talk about feminine testing, and what it means to play with it by tussling. When she pushes your boundaries or overreacts to something seemingly small, what's really going on? Why does she seem to pick fights sometimes, but

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76:39

271: GirlTalk: What makes a woman truly trust a man?...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/08/25

If you want a woman to fully surrender to you, you've got to inspire deep trust in her. This includes sexually -- a woman who deeply trusts her man is infinitely more likely to open up when it comes to sex.And most men want to be trusted. They want to be satisfying to their partner sexually, emotionally, and physically. They want their partner to feel safe with them. Trust is the basis of safety, upon which relationship thrives, but it's not always easy to grasp what it means to be

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63:38

270: What is shadow work, and how does it make you...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/08/18

Shadow work is popular in the personal growth community, and for good reason — it can be deeply transformational. Many people report deeper and more lasting shifts with shadow work than with years of talk therapy.But what’s talked about less often is how sexy shadow work can make you. As a woman who has sex with men, I can attest to this — a man who does real shadow work is hot. Period.Here, Jason and I join forces with Luke Adler, doctor of Chinese medicine, healer, and men’s coach, to talk all

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79:03

269: What women truly crave from men (ft. Jason Lange)

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/08/11

In our work with men who have sex with women, we've noticed a few distinct categories. There are three specific archetypes of men we see most commonly, and here we outline their patterns.We do this in part because I want to reveal the deep yearning on the part of a lot of women who relate with men romantically. While the themes discussed in this episode are relayed in the frame of men who relate with women romantically, and vice versa (many of whom identify as heterosexual/straight), I believe

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67:26

268: A woman’s biggest fear (and how you can help)...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/08/04

Want a woman to feel deeply, profoundly, extraordinarily safe with you? Able to surrender fully, relaxing all the way into your arms, allowing her body to open to you in ways you never knew were possible?Then you need to know about this.Whether you're dating or in a long-term committed relationship, there's an underlying fear that, according to Violet, who has worked with hundreds of women and heard from thousands, 99% of women have.It's a fear you may share. And if it's not

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65:13

267: What do you do if your masculine role models...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/07/28

How did you learn to be a man? From whom did you learn, and what did they impart? More importantly, if this isn't how you want to be now, how you grow beyond what you learned?We learn how to be who we are from our parents and other caregivers. If you grew up with men who were absent, alcoholics, abusive, or just not emotionally attuned, then there are gaps in your knowledge. Here we talk about how to fill those in -- and how to replace bad role models with good ones.A few things we cover in this

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52:37

266: How do you get to breakthrough? (ft. Jason...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/07/21

Do you know you have trauma stuck in your body, but you're not sure how to move it? Perhaps you're aware that your issues are in your tissues, but you don't know what to do about it.If anyone knows what it's like to feel stuck around sex, dating, and relationships, it's Jason. He was a late bloomer, self-proclaimed Nice Guy, and didn't feel successful with women for a long time -- didn't even have sex for the first time until his late 20s.Plus, even outside of

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66:03

265: What if she's got a sexual trauma background?...

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/07/14

If you want a thriving, connected sex life with your partner, but feel like something's in the way ... it could be sexual trauma.The fact is, 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are survivors of child sexual abuse. To put that in perspective, that's 42 million women and 21 million men in the US alone.The bad news? We don't talk about this nearly enough, so it can feel overwhelming and scary to address. The good news? It is addressable, and no matter who you are or what happened, you can have a

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78:46

264: How do we learn about sex? (ft. Yuval Mann)

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships... ·

2023/07/07

Was your family skilled at teaching you about sex? Was your school, or your religious community?HA.I'm guessing not.Many families of origin suck at talking about sex, dating, and relationships. And whether you grew up in a religious house or not, sex education tends to also be subpar, especially when it comes to teaching about sexual communication.How do you ask a partner for what you really want? How do you tell someone they're missing the mark when it comes to something sexual (like oral

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