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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

27:38

Coahuilaceratops, the Horned Face of Coahuila

Paleo Bites ·

2024/01/09

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Coahuilaceratops-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Coahuliaceratops, one of the few dinosaurs we have evidence of from Mexico due to something… explosive happening there at the end of the Cretaceous that wiped out most of the fossils. And no, it wasn’t the aftermath of a burrito dinner. From the Late Cretaceous, this 16-foot chasmosaurine ceratopsian had the longest horns of any member of its family, so that’s pretty

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17:51

Coelurosauravus, the Hollow Lizard Grandfather

Paleo Bites ·

2024/01/02

(image source: https://sciifii.fandom.com/wiki/Coelurosauravus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Coelurosauravus, the reptiles’ first of many, many attempts to get the hell off the ground and into the air. It seems like reptiles might be playing a geologic time scale level game of The Floor Is Lava. From the Late Permian, this 1-foot neodiapsid was unfortunately one of the losers of the Permian extinction event, where the whole world played a literal game of The Floor Is

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29:32

Prognathodon, the Forejaw Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2023/12/26

(image source: https://bethzaiken.com/royal-saskatchewan-museum-prognathodon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Prognathodon, a very unmerry creature that only has its episode released near Christmas due to the predetermined release schedule. Jingle bells! Chomp. From the Late Cretaceous, this 45-foot mosasaurid was smaller than its more famous cousin but had a far stronger bite, which means it could open presents real easily… yeah, I’m forcing this Christmas theme upon it. It

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27:13

Pakicetus, the Pakistani Whale

Paleo Bites ·

2023/12/19

(image source: https://eartharchives.org/articles/the-evolution-of-whales/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Pakicetus, the very first cetacean and thus very first whale, so that’s neat I guess. Evolution and stuff. Intermediary fossils. Woo. From the Early Eocene, this 5-foot artiodactyl had many features of both land-dwelling and aquatic animals, which sounds indecisive if you ask me. Land or water, pick one! I mean, I suppose it eventually did. So that’s good I guess

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18:00

Eurapteryx, the Broad-Billed Moa

Paleo Bites ·

2023/12/12

(image source: https://a-dinosaur-a-day.com/post/185693540635/euryapteryx-curtus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Don Hall discuss Euryapteryx, another one of those giant birds the Maori people had to deal with when they migrated to New Zealand. They had a rough time. The birds, not the people. From the Early Holocene, this 3-foot-tall ratite laid relatively giant eggs and was hunted to extinction by the humans. Because humans. We’re a blight upon the earth. COVID-19 was a nice try, nature,

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22:33

Megamonodontium, the Giant Trapdoor Spider

Paleo Bites ·

2023/12/05

(image source: https://novataxa.blogspot.com/2023/09/megamonodontium.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Megamonodontium, the most nope nope to have ever noped. A giant spider lunging in a hole in Australia? Nope, nope, nope. From the Late Miocene, this 2-inch spider trapped and ate giant dinosaurs and sunk its venomous fangs into the necks of cavemen… okay, not really, it more likely hunted insects and small vertebrates and was overall just another harmless animal, but

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22:01

Tropeognathus, the Keel-Jawed One

Paleo Bites ·

2023/11/28

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Tropeognathus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Tropeognathus, a genus split off from Ornithocheirus, well-known from that Walking with Dinosaurs episode where one of them was too old to get laid. From the Early Cretaceous, this 25-foot-wingspan pterosaur lived in Brazil alongside frugivore Tapejara, also depicted in that same episode where one of them got sprayed on by water too much to get laid. Quality television, that

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16:38

Anzu, the Mesopotamian Bird Demon

Paleo Bites ·

2023/11/21

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/tuomaskoivurinne/art/Saurian-Anzu-778336693) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Don Hall discuss Anzu, a dinosaur that looks so damn much like a bird it’s hard to believe it’s not in the clade of theropods that evolved into them. Them dinos really wanted them feathers. From the late Cretaceous, this 13-foot oviraptorosaur lived alongside some famous heavy-hitters like T. rex and Triceratops, and may I say the name Anzu really stands out among those, and

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13:35

Han solo, the Lone Chinese Trilobite

Paleo Bites ·

2023/11/14

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnostida) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Han solo, an actually real genus and species of animal because paleontologists, believe it or not, are nerds. From the Early Ordavician, this 2-inch trilobite may not have looked like much, but it’s got it where it counts, kid. Yeah, we make a bunch of forced Star Wars references in this episode… oh, I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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20:24

Platyceramus, the Broad Shell

Paleo Bites ·

2023/11/07

(image source: https://dontmesswithdinosaurs.com/?p=2122) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Platyceramus, the biggest clam in the entire paleontological record, which sounds like something one of those tourist traps on I-70 would claim to have if you ask me. From the Late Cretaceous, this 10-foot bivalve got eaten by giant turtles and had highly enlarged pearls within its shells… oh, now you’re interested, huh? Now that there’s money involved? I swear, late stage capitalism

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15:51

Zuul, the Destroyer of Shins

Paleo Bites ·

2023/10/31

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zuul) Happy Halloween! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Frankyansteilert (the sewn-together bodies of previous co-hosts reanimated after their unfortunate deaths) discuss Zuul, a dinosaur indeed named after the Ghostbusters demon dog, because why not at this point? From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot ankylosaur had the biggest tail club of any of its kind in North America and had some fossilized scale imprints uncovered, which we definitely

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22:57

Ectopistes, the Passenger Pigeon

Paleo Bites ·

2023/10/24

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/things-of-beauty-i-like-to-see--543528248785595561/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host and Matt’s dad Don Hall discuss Ectopistes, another great example of human-caused extinction because we didn’t depress our listeners enough with the Dodo and Tasmanian Tiger episodes. From the Late Pliocene to the Early Holocene, this 1.5-foot columbid bird used to have flocks in the billions before being shot, batted, and netted by greedy and terrible European

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25:37

Moeritherium, the Beast of Lake Moeris

Paleo Bites ·

2023/10/17

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/moeritherium-lake-moeris-beast-1093246) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Moeritherium, a pig-hippo-tapir thing that was actually closer related to elephants than any of those other creatures, because the only thing nature is consistent at is being inconsistent. From the Late Eocene, this 6-foot proboscid lived in the mangrove swamps of its Egyptian home while blissfully unaware of the bleak desert it would become a few minor

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23:08

Suuwassea, the Ancient Thunder

Paleo Bites ·

2023/10/10

(image source: https://dino.fandom.com/wiki/Suuwassea)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Suuwassea, a dinosaur named after terms in the language of the Native American Crow Tribe just in time for Indigenous People's Day, because I'm really good at planning these things. It's not a coincidence, I swear. Pinkily so. From the Late Jurassic, this 45-foot dicraeosaurid sauropod was still plenty big but definitely one of the smaller long-necked dinosaurs of Jurassic North America,

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21:04

Sinosauropteryx, the Chinese Lizard Wing

Paleo Bites ·

2023/10/03

(image source: https://bit.ly/3PEeLaG) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Sinosauropteryx, the first non-avian dinosaur identified with feathers and thus the one to blame for the Jurassic Park style scaly raptors going out of fashion. Feathers can be monstrous too, guys! Just look at cassowaries. Or don't, they'll kill you. Kill you dead. And then disembowel you. Yeah. From the Early Cretaceous, this 3-foot compsognathid theropod was also the first dinosaur that we've discovered

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23:14

Raphus, the Dodo

Paleo Bites ·

2023/09/26

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/3-dodo-bird-spencer-sutton.html?product=poster) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Raphus, also known as the dodo and a shining example of anthropogenic extinction. That’s when humans completely kill a species, just in case you wanted a punch in the gut today. From the Early Holocene, this 3-foot tall columbid bird is one of the prime candidates for scientists to try and resurrect Jurassic Park style, which would make for a far less

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27:25

Deinonychus, the Terrible Claw

Paleo Bites ·

2023/09/19

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Deinonychus_ewilloughby_2931.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and very special guest co-host Jason Singleton discuss Deinonychus, the one whose titular claw sparked the Dinosaur Revolution like a slash heard around the world. That’s an American Revolution reference, that joke. Know your history, even if it’s probably mostly propaganda. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 11-foot dromaeosaurid had the biggest beef with poor ol’ Tenontosaurus, or should I say the

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27:13

Cygnus falconeri, the Giant Swan

Paleo Bites ·

2023/09/12

(image source: https://bit.ly/3Rhfwc6) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Cygnus falconeri, the biggest swan ever that towered over elephants… although to be fair the elephants on the island it lived on were dwarf elephants, so it’s kind of cheating. From the Late Pleistocene, this 10-foot-wingspan bird was undoubtedly the biggest asshole and probably bullied those poor little elephants to extinction. You ever encountered a swan? They’re assholes! Even the regular-sized ones

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22:54

Homotherium, the Same Beast

Paleo Bites ·

2023/09/05

(image source: https://fanon.fandom.com/wiki/Homotherium_latidens_(SciiFii)) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Homotherium, another one of those saber-toothed cats early humans had to deal with because we’ve never had enough problems. From the Mid Pliocene to the Late Pleistocene, this 5-foot machairodont felid was more like a saber-toothed cougar than a saber-toothed tiger, as it was a pursuit hunter that could run down prey rather than merely ambushing them. Then again,

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27:47

Podokesaurus, the Swift-Footed Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2023/08/29

(image source: https://bit.ly/3PfmRaG)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Podokesaurus, the state dinosaur of Massachusetts, which really shows the lack of good fossils there and their sheer desperation in having a dino representative. From the Early Jurassic, this 3-foot coelophysid theropod was the first dinosaur discovered and described by a woman, which is definitely cool, although I bet Mary Ann Mantell is seething in the annals of history at her husband taking the credit

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320 results

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