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PODCAST

Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

35:14

102. You Got Caught Cheating

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/08/18

Tune in this week for some non-judgmental advice if you’ve been caught in the act of cheating, or been presented with irrefutable evidence of your cheating. Dr. Marie Murphy is focusing on your feelings about getting caught, dealing with your partner’s response to what’s going on, and how to decide on the way you want to frame your story - what you want to disclose, and thinking carefully about what you want to do next. Get full show notes and more information here:

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34:08

101. What Physical Pain Teaches Us About Emotional Pain

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/08/11

Is emotional discomfort getting in the way of what you want most from your relationships? When faced with a situation that challenges your growth, it is normal to feel discomfort. How can you embrace that discomfort to rebuild your relationship? When transforming your relationship, you need to concede that emotional discomfort — just like physical discomfort — is part of life. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, learning to recognize an emotional experience in constructive ways has profound and broad

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24:38

100. The Point of Resolving Your Infidelity Situation

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/08/04

Do you find yourself torn between wanting to resolve your relationship worries and being afraid of negative consequences? What is the best way to deal with infidelity drama, uncertainty, and intrusive thoughts? Dr. Marie Murphy says it all starts with being faithful to yourself. She shares her advice on various challenges that could seem terrifying and explains how facing these challenges can bring you peace in your relationships as well as in your everyday life. In this episode of Your Secret is

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24:27

99. What Do You Expect Out of a Romantic Relationship?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/07/28

When it comes to romantic relationships, what are your expectations and intentions? How can you contribute to your relationship constructively to ensure your needs are met? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, your relationships with others are important, but the relationship you have with yourself is even more significant. How you contribute to a relationship carries the most weight, so it’s crucial to be clear on your understanding of what you expect from yourself and your romantic partner. By

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35:37

98. Stop Telling Yourself These Three Things Right Now

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/07/21

When confronted with grief, difficult situations, or relationship challenges, it’s easy to convince ourselves of uncertainty or confusion to avoid making tough decisions. Yet, these thoughts are often unproductive and promote stagnancy. So, how can you change your mindset to overcome these difficulties? Dr. Marie Murphy recommends establishing what you know and want so you can begin to make decisions that will satisfy your desires. It’s important to remember that you always have a choice about

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34:44

97. Re-Engaging in a Relationship After an Affair,...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/07/14

Why do you want to re-engage in your primary relationship? How can you intentionally generate excitement and a deep passion with your primary partner? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the convenient option of re-engaging with your primary does not mean it is obligatory. While the comfortable and familiar route may be the easiest, it also comes with challenges, difficulties, and awkwardness. Dr. Murphy recommends meeting those challenges with enthusiasm, and to be present and fully honest with yourself

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37:30

96. When You Leave Your Marriage but Your Affair...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/07/07

When presented with the prospect of dismantling their lives by ending their marriage, people may become dismayed. What happens when your affair partner doesn’t leave their marriage — but you do? It can be easy to downgrade your value and blame your partner’s actions on the explanation that you’re deeply and fatally flawed. When someone makes a choice, Dr. Marie Murphy says you can’t manage what other people do, you can only manage your decisions about how to respond to them. You have the power to

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43:42

95. Dealing With a Needy Affair Partner

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/06/30

What happens when your affair partner becomes needy of your attention and affection? How can you handle the feelings of discomfort and uncertainty when ending your marriage while being pushed by your affair partner to make a decision? Dr. Marie Murphy says it's all about how you manage your mind and deal with your emotions. You feel good when you’re with your affair partner, so you begin to expect that feeling. But, when things go differently, you may encounter feelings of neediness. What does Dr

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53:07

94. Is It Cheating if Your Spouse Has Alzheimer's?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/06/23

It’s easy to feel exhausted when you’re constantly at someone else’s disposal. Society’s biases toward a Martyr Complex can make it difficult to talk about — especially when you’re told to sacrifice your own happiness at someone else’s expense. How can you set boundaries to achieve your own happiness, even when it feels difficult? Loretta knows what it is like to face challenges, stigmas, and responsibilities as a caregiver to her husband with Alzheimer's. Since her husband’s diagnosis, she had

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41:01

93. Allowing Yourself To Want What You Want

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/06/16

If you’ve ever found yourself staring your desires in the face, it can be challenging to ride the emotional waves that follow. Trying to suppress your desire can be exhausting — but what if there was another way? How can you prioritize the experience of feeling your desires without taking any action? Dr. Marie Murphy recommends practice. Try allowing yourself to feel your desires, even if they lead to disappointment or impatience. Most importantly, Dr. Murphy notes that letting yourself acknowledge

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01:09:37

92. Holding Our Desires Lightly With Katy Dion

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/06/09

Do you struggle with competing desires in your relationship? Do you find yourself unable to reconcile those longings? Desire is a complex emotion that can take many forms, so how do you learn to navigate all of its intricacies? For most of her adult life, Katy Dion internalized stereotypes about motherhood and the ideal relationship, leading to conflicting desires. It wasn’t until she tried to separate those desires that she realized she could change her mindset to accommodate both. Now, Katy uses

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36:25

91. The Intensity of a New Affair

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/06/02

Engaging in a new infidelity situation can carry intense and conflicting emotions. How can you handle the magnitude and mixture of your feelings? Is it possible to find clarity during these heightened moments? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the intensity of the emotions accompanying a new relationship is compounded with an infidelity situation — especially if the relationship is forbidden or you have conflicting feelings. Dr. Murphy recommends that you take time to digest these feelings to get clear

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33:16

90. Should I Go to Couple's Therapy?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/05/26

How can you find clarity about your thoughts surrounding couples therapy or counseling? If you already feel sure about ending your relationship, what are your reasons for wanting to go? Before going to couples therapy, you need to have a clear understanding of your reason for attending. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people go into couple’s therapy because they’re looking to stall difficult conversations, they feel obligated to attend, or they want help facilitating a breakup. But Dr. Murphy

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27:54

89. Does Having an Affair Doom Your Marriage to Failure?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/05/19

If you’ve had an affair that’s now ended, you may be worried about what this secret will mean for the future of your marriage. Does keeping your cheating a secret doom your marriage to failure? Do you still deserve love and happiness after your infidelity? Will your marriage still have trust? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, these are all common fears — but none of them are true unless you believe they are. As she says, the future of your marriage depends on what you choose to focus on after your

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33:52

88. When Bad Sh*t Happens

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/05/12

If you experience a major upheaval in your relationship, the disruption can feel like your world is crumbling down. How can you deal with this radical adjustment? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it may feel like bad shit is happening, but through destruction comes opportunities. If you deliberately choose to restructure your life from the rubble, you can build and grow your authentic self. Dr. Murphy says that to ride out uncomfortable or devastating experiences, you should ask yourself why this

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42:54

87. Relationships, Divorce, and Money With Jessie...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/05/05

Whether you have a large number of assets or are living paycheck to paycheck, breaking up with your partner can cause major financial resentment. So, how can you navigate issues around money as you go your separate ways? During her separation from her partner, Jessie Susannah Karnatz, aka the “Money Witch,” struggled with feelings of financial regret and resentment. Then, she received a piece of advice that changed her entire perspective. Her mother told her: “You made a bad investment. Cut your

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33:28

86. When your Affair Partner Ghosts You

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/04/28

When you’ve formed a bond with your affair partner, it can be a grinding experience when that connection abruptly stops. So how can you overcome the pain of being ghosted? Dr. Marie Murphy says you are responsible for your sense of satisfaction, and if you’re struggling to heal from the loss of a relationship, you will have to change your thinking. By thinking differently about your ghosting experience, you can lessen the intensity and reduce your pain in the future. According to Dr. Murphy, the

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37:06

85. Past vs. Future Focus

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/04/21

Do you feel like you’re constantly pledging allegiance to your past? If you’re stuck in the cycle of recycling and analyzing your past experiences, you may not be sure how to live the way you want to in the present and future. So, how can you engage with the past more effectively in order to create the future that you desire? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the past may seem stable and the future unpredictable. But, as Dr. Murphy says, if you focus too much on what went wrong in the past, it can

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33:17

84. Making Plans for the Future With Your Affair Partner

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/04/14

If you aren’t clear on how to move forward with your infidelity situation, what can you do to make a change? How can you make the right decisions for you — regardless of what your affair partner does? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you have the choice between making decisions consciously and deliberately and making them haphazardly or based on fear. Many people want safety, comfort, and security in their relationship. But, are these desires holding you back from what you really want from your

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57:28

83. Boundaries with Melissa Hite

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/04/07

How does the way you understand and express boundaries affect your relationships? What does it look like when your needs are in alignment? And, can creating better boundaries with yourself lead to more pleasure in your external relationships and life? According to Melissa Hite, to live an authentic life, it’s important to communicate boundaries with yourself and with others. Melissa says you should not negate what your body and mind are telling you in order to remain in a relationship. Instead,

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