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PODCAST

Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

37:06

85. Past vs. Future Focus

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/04/21

Do you feel like you’re constantly pledging allegiance to your past? If you’re stuck in the cycle of recycling and analyzing your past experiences, you may not be sure how to live the way you want to in the present and future. So, how can you engage with the past more effectively in order to create the future that you desire? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the past may seem stable and the future unpredictable. But, as Dr. Murphy says, if you focus too much on what went wrong in the past, it can

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33:17

84. Making Plans for the Future With Your Affair Partner

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/04/14

If you aren’t clear on how to move forward with your infidelity situation, what can you do to make a change? How can you make the right decisions for you — regardless of what your affair partner does? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you have the choice between making decisions consciously and deliberately and making them haphazardly or based on fear. Many people want safety, comfort, and security in their relationship. But, are these desires holding you back from what you really want from your

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57:28

83. Boundaries with Melissa Hite

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/04/07

How does the way you understand and express boundaries affect your relationships? What does it look like when your needs are in alignment? And, can creating better boundaries with yourself lead to more pleasure in your external relationships and life? According to Melissa Hite, to live an authentic life, it’s important to communicate boundaries with yourself and with others. Melissa says you should not negate what your body and mind are telling you in order to remain in a relationship. Instead,

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35:34

82. How to Cheat and Keep Your Sanity Intact

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/03/31

When you’re unclear on your desires, you may feel stuck or powerless in your situation. If you are trying to cheat and want your sanity to stay intact, how can you deliberately decide what you want from your relationships? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you are accountable to yourself and your choices. To make more deliberate and satisfying relationship decisions, you need to manage your mindset and emotions. How? Dr. Murphy has the tools to help you get clear on your desires so you can keep your

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43:07

81. Conflict and Compatibility

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/03/24

If you’re too focused on certain requirements or expectations with a partner, you may miss out on rich connections. So, what can you do to make a change? Is it possible to experience growth in a relationship without sacrificing your needs? As Dr. Marie Murphy says, there is a way to advocate for your preferences while also compromising with your partner. During conflict, many people struggle with taking responsibility for themselves. Fortunately, Dr. Murphy has techniques to help you experience the

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29:12

80. It's Not Your Partner's Job To Make You Happy

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/03/17

Do you expect your relationship to be a constant source of happiness and joy? Do you find yourself feeling discontent with your partner — or thinking that you might be happier with someone else? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the key to true relationship satisfaction is recognizing that the only person who can make you happy is yourself. While there may be times when you feel annoyed or upset with your partner, you can choose to instead focus on emotions and aspects you enjoy about your

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26:44

79. Being Honest With Yourself

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/03/10

Do you put your relationships with others above your relationship with yourself? Actively trying to suppress or deny your feelings or your truth can be exhausting, especially during an infidelity situation. So, how can you prioritize being honest with yourself? If you’re looking for a better way to gain clarity and certainty with your thoughts, Dr. Marie Murphy suggests that you take ownership and acknowledge what is true for you. Letting your fear of what other people might think can deter you from

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31:50

78. Lying About Infidelity

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/03/03

Are you faced with an ethical dilemma in your infidelity situation? When you’re upset, it can be difficult to slow down and make a conscious decision about your relationship. So where can you turn for guidance? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you get to decide how to make the best decisions for you — no one can tell you what to do but you. But, with Dr. Murphy’s help, you can navigate difficult ideas around morality — such as telling the truth versus lying in your relationship — and take action to

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33:43

77. Infidelity, Shame, and Perfectionism

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/02/24

Are you struggling with the idea of perfectionism and hustling to show your self-worth in your relationships? Is trying to meet the needs of others holding you back from what you truly desire? If you’re too afraid of failure, you will never succeed. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people struggle with other people’s standards about love, acceptance, and worthiness. But, it’s not easy to create relationships you truly want without your own self-worth. So, are you ready to overcome your thoughts

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32:33

76. Regret

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/02/17

Do you want to change your thoughts about your past but feel helpless about where to begin? Dwelling on the past won’t change the future — but it is possible to reframe your thoughts and regrets in order to identify your desires. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the only things that make an experience regrettable are your thoughts. As she says, you have to decide for yourself what is truly valuable in each situation and use that to create the future you desire. So, how do you break the habit of

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25:00

75. Perfectionism and Relationships

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/02/10

Does your sense of self-worth depend upon other people’s thoughts and beliefs? Is the desire for perfection holding you back from getting what you truly want from your life and relationships? When you endeavor to conform to societal — or other people’s — expectations of what is acceptable and worthy, you open yourself up to feelings of shame and fear, which may be corrupting your standards and holding you back from your desires. Dr. Marie Murphy suggests a solution: cultivating a sense of self-worth

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29:14

74. Dealing With Guilt and Shame

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/02/03

Infidelity often brings forth feelings of guilt and shame, but it shouldn’t lead you to believe you’re a bad person. You don’t have to convince yourself that cheating is good — but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, either. So how can you minimize feelings of guilt and shame and move towards self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-love? In order to shift your relationship with guilt and shame, you have to be willing to endure these feelings when they arise. Instead of trying to avoid these feelings

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36:18

73. What To Say When You Break Up With Someone

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/01/27

No matter who your partner is or what kind of relationship you have, breaking up can be terrifying — even when you’re the one initiating. So what should you say to gracefully maneuver this difficult conversation? There are ways you can prepare and deliver your message to turn this dreaded conversation into one that can benefit both parties. Remember: breaking up doesn’t have to be a bad thing. With planning, thoughtfulness, and the right preparation, you can create the best possible experience for

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35:18

72. Preparing for a Breakup

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/01/20

How do you prepare yourself for the difficult emotions of ending your relationship? Deciding to end any relationship can be a tumultuous decision — especially if you have no support. So, where can you turn for help? If you’re looking for a way to prepare for a breakup, Dr. Marie Murphy has some steps to help you navigate this process without fear and choose the best course for you. As she says, once your vision is clear and you have a better understanding of what you want, you can begin to take the

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27:43

71. When You Love Your Partner And You Still Want To...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/01/13

Do you want relief from your complicated feelings about monogamy? What can you do to get what you really want out of your monogamous relationship? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, there is no simple solution. The first step is to determine what you’re looking for from your relationship — but many people struggle to find that clarity. That’s where Dr. Murphy comes in. She has the strategies you need to get clear on your desires and configure the relationship that’s best for you. With her help, you can

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27:22

70. What Does It Mean To Be Selfish?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/01/06

What do you want other people to believe about you? And, do these opinions stop you from pursuing your true desires? The concept of selfishness may feel inherently bad — but does it need to be? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, in order to achieve what you really want from your relationship, you have to examine the definition of selfishness in your own life. Many people struggle with the idea of seeming selfish and instead choose to avoid their honest wants and needs. That’s where Dr. Murphy comes in

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24:24

69. Making Changes In 2022

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/12/30

How can you initiate change if you aren’t getting what you want out of your infidelity situation? What can you do to create a difference in your pattern of thinking as you approach the New Year? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you can make the changes you desire by permitting yourself to take effective action. As she says, you have to be willing to invest in the journey to achieve the results you long for in your relationship. By altering your mindset and taking the first steps forward, you can make

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27:51

68. Infidelity and Death

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/12/23

Are you struggling to let go of your old self and transform into who you want to be? In order to change, you must surrender to what you want in your relationship and in your life — and that can often cause a shroud of doubt. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, only death allows for rebirth, and a metaphorical death can help you embrace your new self and reach the outcome you truly desire. While the awareness that life is fleeting and unpredictable can be uncomfortable, it is helpful for examining your

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43:52

67. Choosing To Leave A Good-Enough Marriage for Your...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/12/16

Deciding to end your marriage for your affair partner can be complicated. It can leave you with feelings of discomfort and confusion about what you truly want. Fortunately, there are ways to gain more clarity about the best path forward in your infidelity situation. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, if you’re able to change your thinking, you can change your circumstances. Deciding to leave your marriage for your affair partner is not without its challenges. But to procure what you want, you have to be

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30:25

66. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Four: Dealing...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/12/09

Are you feeling conflicted and confused about your infidelity situation this holiday season? How do you distinguish between taking action because of your genuine desires and taking action because of your impulses? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, learning to refrain from overthinking and instead sitting still with your discomfort can help you reach the outcome you truly desire. While it’s essential to recognize your conflicting thoughts, it is also crucial to avoid letting the confusion manifest. Dr

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