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PODCAST

Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

28:22

244: The C-Word

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/10/08

What is the C-word? In my work, there's one C-word that carries a lot of weight: closure. In this episode, I talk about what closure actually means, why we can end up making our sense of peace dependent on things we cannot control, and how our own thinking shapes whether or not we experience a sense of resolution. I also talk about the possibility that sometimes the best thing you can do is learn how to live without the answers you want. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information

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22:23

243: Stop Texting Your Affair Partner so Much

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/09/24

If you're spending hours texting your affair partner every day, but you know it's making your life harder, why are you still doing it? It's completely reasonable to enjoy texting with your affair partner. It can be exciting, entertaining, and a reliable source of pleasure. But if texting is taking over your time, interfering with your sleep or productivity, creating endless drama, or becoming the primary way you experience your relationship, it may be time to put some limits on it. In this

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23:19

242: Fun Quiz with Fun Prizes

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/09/10

What if the people in your life are a lot more interesting than you've been giving them credit for? I'm doing something a little different this week: I'm giving you a quiz about me, with some very fun prizes for the people who get the answers right. But this isn't just an excuse to test your knowledge of my favorite things. In this episode, I talk about why I created the quiz, and how curiosity can change the way we experience the people we love. Tune in to play along with the quiz, learn how

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30:19

241: The Holidays are Swiftly Approaching

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/08/27

If you don't want to experience another holiday season the way you experienced the last one, what are you actually going to do differently? The holidays can be a particularly stark reminder of what we do and don't like about our infidelity situations, especially when we've spent multiple years hoping that something will change. In this episode, I want you to stop asking what you hope will be different this year and start asking what you have the power to make different. I talk about how to get

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54:12

240: One of the Many Ways to Resolve an Infidelity...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/08/13

What if an infidelity situation didn't have to mean the end of your life as you know it? In this episode, I'm talking with Jane, a woman in her late 60s who found herself having an affair after more than 40 years of marriage. She never imagined herself as someone who would have an affair, and yet reconnecting with someone from her past brought excitement, intimacy, and a sense of being fully seen that she had been missing. Jane shares what happened when she decided she could no longer continue

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01:01:08

239: After the Affair: When Infidelity Becomes the...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/07/30

So many stories about infidelity focus on the devastation, the shame, and the belief that an affair means your life is ruined forever. But that is not the whole story. In this episode, I'm sharing another conversation with a podcast listener who has made it through the challenges of her infidelity situation and is thriving on the other side of it. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/239 If you want my personalized attention and support, we

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48:04

238: After the Affair: What Happens When You Finally...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/07/16

Most stories about infidelity end with heartbreak, regret, or destruction. But what if that isn't the whole story? In this episode, I'm joined by Scarlett, a longtime listener who generously shares the story of her affair, the end of her marriage, the painful aftermath of losing her affair partner, and the unexpected life she built on the other side of it all. Join us as we discuss clarity, courage, boundaries, closure, new love, and why even deeply difficult experiences can become catalysts for

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39:13

237: Change Can Be (EXTREMELY) Strange

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/07/02

Have you ever made a change you knew was right for you, only to wonder why it felt so unsettling? If you've found yourself grieving a life you chose to leave, questioning your identity after making a major decision, or feeling strangely untethered even though you're confident in your choice, this episode is for you. In this episode, I explore why change can feel so profoundly strange, even when it leads us exactly where we want or need to go. Get full show notes, transcript, and more

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33:28

236: Taking the Agony Out of Major Life Decisions

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/06/18

What if making major life decisions didn't have to be so agonizing? Many people assume that the bigger the decision, the more time, uncertainty, and emotional turmoil it should involve. But what if you could make major life decisions thoughtfully without turning them into an exhausting, never-ending mental ordeal? In this episode, I share the story of leaving Costa Rica and deciding where to move next, and I use that experience to illustrate a different approach to making major life decisions.

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35:30

235: Emotional Affairs

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/06/04

What exactly is an emotional affair, and how do you know if you're having one? Despite how often the term gets used, there is surprisingly little agreement about what an emotional affair actually is. Many people find themselves wondering whether a close connection with someone else crosses a line, only to discover that there are no universal rules that can answer that question for them. In this episode, I take a closer look at the concept of emotional affairs and why I've avoided discussing the

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34:33

234: Resisting the Urge to Contact Your (Ex) Affair...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/05/21

What do you do when you've decided you don't want to continue your affair, but you still desperately want to contact your affair partner? So many people assume that if they truly wanted the relationship to end, they wouldn't feel the urge to reach out. But what if those urges don't mean you made the wrong decision at all? In this episode, I talk about why learning how to tolerate the urge to contact your affair partner is very different from resisting or fighting the urge.

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34:43

233: How to Have Better Sex (Part 3)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/05/07

What does better sex actually require once you've clarified your desires and started rebuilding a connection with your partner? If you want better sex in a long-term relationship, the next step isn't simply hoping that things improve. It's learning how to communicate, collaborate, and intentionally co-create a sexual relationship that works for both of you. In this episode, I continue our conversation about better sex by focusing on the practical realities of reconnecting sexually with a

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31:18

232: How to Have Better Sex (Part 2)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/04/23

What if having better sex has less to do with what you do in bed and more to do with how you show up with your partner every day? If your sex life has been unsatisfying or nonexistent for a while, it's easy to assume the solution is something dramatic. But what if the real work starts somewhere much simpler? If you want better sex, this episode will help you understand why presence and focus are essential, even when they take effort. You'll learn how to break out of patterns of distraction and

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28:58

231: How to Have Better Sex (Part 1)

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/04/09

What does better sex actually mean to you, and have you ever really stopped to define it for yourself? So many people say they want better sex, but when we look closer, they're focused on specific outcomes or details without ever considering the bigger picture of what creates a genuinely satisfying sexual experience. Tune in this week to learn how to begin having better sex by examining your own desires, your mental and emotional experiences of sex, and the role your thinking plays in generating

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35:01

230: When Your Infidelity Situation Takes Over Your Life

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/03/26

When your infidelity situation starts to take over everything, it can feel like it's the only thing that matters, the only thing worth thinking about, and the only thing that will determine whether you're okay. But what if the problem isn't just the situation itself, but how much space it's taking up in your life? If you've been feeling consumed, stuck, or like your life is on hold, this episode will help you widen your lens and start making choices from a more grounded and intentional place.

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54:52

229: Radical Un-Shaming with David Bedrick

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/03/12

Radical un-shaming sounds lovely in theory, but what does it actually look like when you are dealing with desires, behaviors, or parts of yourself that other people insist are unacceptable? In this episode, I'm joined by author, teacher, and counselor David Bedrick to talk about shame, morality, psychology, and the limits of a therapeutic model that divides people into victims and perpetrators, good people and bad people. Together, we explore how infidelity and other taboo experiences are so

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27:27

228: Podcast Greatest Hits: When You Love Your...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/02/26

Is it possible to deeply love your partner and still want to have sex or romantic experiences with someone else? If you're in a committed relationship that was supposed to be monogamous, and you find yourself wanting more than that, you may feel confused, ashamed, or worried about what that says about you. You may wonder if something is wrong with you, your partner, or your relationship. In this episode, we'll explore the reality that desire for more than one person is not inherently a problem

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27:51

227: Love, Sex, and Romance: What Do You Really Want?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/02/12

Have you been so immersed in your infidelity situation that it feels impossible to think clearly about anything else, let alone what you actually want from your love life? When emotions run high and the drama feels all-consuming, it can be hard to step back and ask bigger, more honest questions about desire, fulfillment, and the life you're trying to build. In this episode, I invite you to take a step back from the immediacy of your infidelity situation so you can reconnect with what truly

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35:50

226: Recovering From a "Bad Decision"

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/01/29

Have you ever been paralyzed by the fear of making a "bad decision" about your infidelity situation? Maybe you're terrified that you'll leave a good-enough marriage to pursue your affair partner, only to have that relationship fall apart. Or perhaps you're scared that any choice you make will doom you to eternal misery. Here's what I want you to know: You are never doomed by any single decision you make. In fact, I have real-time proof of this truth, and I'm sharing it with you on this episode

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29:14

225: Drunken One-Night Stands

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2026/01/15

You had a drunken one-night stand while in a committed relationship, and now you're out of sorts about it. Maybe you're torturing yourself with questions like: "Do I have to tell my partner?" "What does this mean about my relationship?" "How could I have done this?" Here's the truth. Sometimes a one-night stand is simply a reflection of the fact that humans can be attracted to multiple people, but sometimes it's a way to distract yourself from dealing with dissatisfaction in your committed

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