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PODCAST

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she"s learned a lot. She"s here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader"s parenting issue through the lens of Janet"s respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

00:24:46

What To Do About Embarrassing, Troubling, or...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/05/23

Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from

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00:22:27

It's Not Too Late

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/05/16

Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of three kids (12, 9, and 3) who has just recently found Unruffled. She writes: “Your methods and insights have been truly freeing and a paradigm shift in experience for me.” However, she realizes now that her parenting style has included shaming,

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00:35:46

The Science of Intimacy With Our Kids (With Dr....

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/05/09

Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we foster creates a sense of safety that helps our kids stay more grounded and self-regulated, so there won't be as much challenging behavior. When it does arise, it will be easier to resolve. Most important of all, our parent-child relationships will be deeper, richer,

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00:44:10

Getting Real With How We Feel (With Elisabeth Corey)

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/05/02

“When we understand the reasons we react to our children in the way we do, we can begin to change the way we parent.” Janet welcomes a return visit from trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey, who suffered throughout childhood and her teens from severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As an adult, that horrific period of her life was wiped from her memory, but the birth of her twins triggered painful flashbacks. Elisabeth has not only championed her own recovery but dedicated her life and work to

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00:16:55

Words That Get in Our Way

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/04/25

Janet frequently advises us not to focus on trying to say the "right" words when we’re engaging with our kids. Why? Because regardless of the words we’re using, our children usually sense what we are feeling and how we are perceiving them moment to moment. So, generally, memorized scripts or phrases aren’t going to be as important as our true feelings and intentions. However, in this episode, Janet switches gears to describe 3 situations where our words actually do matter. In these instances, word

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00:24:37

It Works! Parents Report Powerful Benefits From...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/04/18

Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart into a place where we can calm ourselves enough to genuinely listen, and accept with compassion rather than judgment. In this episode, Janet shares several notes from parents who describe how making the effort to practice this perspective has paid off in major

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00:22:42

When Our Child Won't Accept Boundaries

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/04/11

Janet responds to an email from a parent who admits she struggles to establish personal boundaries. She says she has "hit rock bottom" regarding her relationship with her 2-year-old. She tries to set limits and then acknowledge his feelings when he reacts, but he screams and cries, and she can't get her work done. She believes her son is "making it very clear that I need a drastic change if I want our relationship to be a two-way street." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available

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00:26:36

How to Help Kids Behave in Restaurants, Church,...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/04/04

We all have certain hopes and expectations of our children when it comes to their behavior in public settings, both organized and informal. We’re often disappointed. The reality is that in any given situation, not every young child will handle themselves with the kind of interest and attention we desire or expect, even when other children seem to have it all together. Janet offers 9 suggestions for how we can better understand our children’s behavior in these moments and how to support them to

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00:29:53

Problems With Other People's Children

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/03/28

As conscious parents, we're doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children's behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids' lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. It’s inevitable our kids will encounter situations that confuse, baffle, or even frighten them. So, what do we do when our kids are faced with these new and uncomfortable situations? And what is the best way to interact

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00:35:27

Preparing Our Children to Be Emotionally Healthy...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/03/21

Janet’s guest this week is Phinnah Chichi, an author, lecturer, and parenting coach whose inspired ideas and worldview help to educate and empower both teens and their parents. Phinnah’s work and philosophy dovetail with Janet’s focus on infants and toddlers. Both prioritize communication, trust, and connection to encourage emotional and social skills, and ultimately to forge lasting parent/child relationships. Phinnah's website: parentingteenssolutions.com. Her book is available on

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00:24:37

What To Do (and Not Do) When Kids Have Meltdowns,...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/03/14

What do children need from us when they're experiencing intense feelings? What are the best things to say and do to calm their emotional storms? Janet responds to notes from three insightful professionals who express concerns that what they're doing isn't working. Janet validates their perspectives and explains why. Then she offers specific recommendations for navigating children's outbursts in a manner that fosters their resilience and a healthy attitude toward emotions while also nurturing

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00:19:28

Stuck in a Pattern of Frustration and Anger

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/03/07

A mother laments the close relationship she used to enjoy with her daughter before having another child. Lately, her daughter has been testing limits, and she has found herself losing both her patience and her temper. “I really don’t want to continue this way with my daughter.” She’s wondering if Janet has any advice how she can remain calm and confident when her daughter seems intent on pushing her buttons. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available

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00:24:01

How We Invalidate Our Kids Without Meaning To (And...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/02/28

With the best of intentions, we can invalidate our kids in subtle ways that make it harder for them to move through their feelings in a healthy manner. Janet responds to three questions from listeners who each recount a specific difficulty they’re experiencing with their kids’ behaviors. These are thoughtful, patient, respectful parents, yet their problems seem to persist. They feel they just can’t get through to their child. Janet identifies a common thread in these parents’ stories and explains

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00:24:03

Shouldn't They Know Better By Now?

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/02/21

It can be confounding when our children behave in negative ways after we've told them umpteen times it’s wrong. Surely they’re aware that we don’t approve! And yet, they repeat the behavior no matter how frustrated, annoyed, or angry we get. Janet offers her perspective on this dynamic while answering a question from the mom of a short-tempered 6-year-old. This boy's father believes certain behaviors are simply unacceptable because their son is “old enough to know better,” but this mom isn't as sure

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00:46:28

Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/02/14

Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively impacting their daily lives. Andrew says: "Trauma robs you of the freedom to choose how you react." Lavinia and Andrew describe some of the common signs of trauma and repressed emotions, how they recognized their own, and how their respective coaching practices enable parents to

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00:22:02

Love Doesn't Mean Walking on Eggshells

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/02/07

In this week’s podcast, Janet breaks format slightly by sharing back-and-forth interactions she's had with listeners and her reflections about these exchanges. In the first, a parent eloquently describes a revelation about his children’s challenging behaviors and how they can bring out his best self. The second exchange explores the nuances of navigating boundaries and the messages we unintentionally give children by walking on eggshells vs. welcoming their feelings. Janet connects these

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00:23:44

Weird, Worrying Behaviors That Our Child Keeps Repeating

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/01/31

Janet responds to 3 separate messages from parents who are having issues with their children that are making them confused and unsure of themselves. While the details of the children's behaviors all differ, Janet identifies a common theme in the parents’ reactions and attitudes that she believes is perpetuating the behavior. She offers suggestions for how these parents can shift their perspective, gain more confidence in their role as leaders, and respond in a manner that resolves the true need

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00:21:47

Worn Down by a Toddler's Screaming, Testing, and Demands

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/01/24

A frustrated parent writes that she and her partner are feeling like failures because their 2.5-year-old is pushy and demanding to the point that they end up losing their patience and yelling. Most challenging of all is that the toddler screams when she doesn’t get her way -- and sometimes for no reason at all. Occasionally, they've screamed right back. “I know,” this parent admits, “a very low point.” Janet offers insights as to the cause of the child's behavior and a perspective shift to help ease

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00:26:15

Is Parenting Too Hard? You May Be Doing Too Much

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/01/17

No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we need to --- depleting our energy with roles and tasks that are better left to our child. In this episode, Janet offers ideas for lightening our workload by recognizing and trusting our children's intrinsic abilities. Janet's job description reframe can help save our energy,

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00:22:17

More Kids, More Conflict - How Can We Keep the Peace?

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2023/01/10

The parent of three young boys is struggling to deal with their demands and the conflicts between them. If she accommodates one boy’s wishes, the other two react with an opposing desire, jealousy, and fighting. She’s wondering how to cope with her situation when everything feels like a compromise. “Most of the time I feel like they’re either fighting with each other or fighting over me,” she says. “It’s exhausting.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and

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252 results

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