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PODCAST

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she"s learned a lot. She"s here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader"s parenting issue through the lens of Janet"s respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

22:22

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy... Why? Why? Why? Getting...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/10/06

What do we do when our kids seem stuck on repeat—like when they keep asking us the same question over and over or making the same demand? Even on our best days, their persistence can quickly wear us down. We respond once calmly, twice firmly, and by the third time all bets are off. We've lost our patience. Janet responds to a mom whose four-year-old repeats the same list of requests every morning. She explores why kids get stuck in these patterns and how getting everyone unstuck is simpler than we

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23:26

Does This Stuff Actually Work? Parents Write Back

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/09/29

In this episode, Janet shares updates from parents whose concerns she has addressed in recent episodes — one about a preschooler’s escalating meltdowns at drop-off; another about a toddler pulling her own hair when overwhelmed; and a third about a two-and-a-half-year-old becoming increasingly fearful of seemingly random things. The parents’ follow-up letters offer a candid look at what helped, what changed, and what these parents discovered when they approached their children’s struggles in a new

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22:34

Connecting with Kids Shouldn't Be a Performance

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/09/22

A parent writes that her mother is constantly asking her bright 17-month-old to perform and grows frustrated when he doesn’t oblige. The truth is, we often think connecting with kids means entertaining them, getting them to laugh or, as in this grandparent's case, encouraging them to show us what they can do. Yet, real connection is much easier and more organic than that. It is about paying attention, listening, and genuinely taking in who our children are. Janet explores why asking children to

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24:24

Don’t Let School Be the End of Play

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/09/15

When school starts, our children’s days can quickly fill with classes, activities, homework, and screens, crowding out opportunities that are critical to their development and emotional health: play. A parent wonders whether full-time school means sacrificing the slower, more playful childhood she wants for her son. Janet reassures this parent that she can have both, explaining how we can continue to prioritize play, and why this matters.Download Cash App Today:

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27:46

End of the Day Crazies With Kids

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/09/08

Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our childrenas the perfect time to wind downand connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, thisisoftenpreciselywhen our childrenneed tounload the day’s stresses. Which means thatinstead of enjoying restorativequality time together, we're faced with challenging behavior, high emotions, and discontent. In this encore episode, Janet unpacks some of the reasons why evenings can be so difficult for kids and what we can do to help them(and

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24:14

The Counterintuitive Fix for Meltdowns at Drop-Off...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/09/01

A four-year-old melting down at school drop-off... A 21-month-old who's started pulling her own hair when she's frustrated or overwhelmed... Two very different situations—but the same missing piece. Janet explains why our instinct to soothe, distract, or push past our kids' hard feelings during transitions often backfires, and why doing the opposite—openly "going there" to explore the situational discomforts kids may experience, even when we can't fix them—is what actually helps kids feel less alone

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28:52

Handling Our Kids' Explosive Anger (with Loryn Brantz)

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/08/25

What do we do when our child erupts into a full-blown tantrum—suddenly becoming what author Loryn Brantz calls a "spicy nugget"? The award-winning author and illustrator returns toUnruffledto talk about her new children's book,"I Am a Spicy Nugget." Loryn and Janet unpack what actually happens in those moments—for the child, and for the adult trying not to make it worse—including what's happening for kids when they become overwhelmed, and why the best response may be to do less, not more, and let

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32:06

My Toddler Is Scared of Everything

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/08/18

A two-and-a-half-year-old has become increasingly anxious and fearful. She often becomes overwhelmed but can't explain what's wrong beyond saying she's scared, and she wants to be picked up or removed from the situation. Her mom wonders where comfort ends and reinforcing the fear begins: “How do we give her the comfort and security she clearly needs while helping her learn that she can feel scared and still be safe?” Janet explores what may really be going on and how parents can respondin a way

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29:19

Your Toddler Isn’t Listening. Here’s Why.

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/08/11

How frustrating is it when our kids won't listen! A parent describes her exhausting visit to a relative's house that wasn't baby-proofed. Her 15-month old son became fixated on climbing stairs. She tried to use what she understands as gentle discipline to keep him safe, but after repeatedly saying, "I won't let you..." and then resorting to removing him from the stairs, she grew frustrated, took him outside for a walk, and then "spent most of it chastising myself for completely failing.” Janet

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23:18

The Scary Things Kids Need to Tell Us

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/08/04

A parent is shaken when her five-year-old begins talking about death and saying she wants to die. Is this a warning sign? Shouldn't she be alarmed? Janet explains why these frightening statements—while they should always be taken seriously—are often very different from what parents fear, and why our instinct to reassure, explain, or shut the conversation down can unintentionally make things worse. She shares a compassionate approach that helps children feel safe enough to work through even their

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26:20

Painfully Shy in Public, Spirited at Home (What's Up...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/07/28

A parent describes her 3.5-year-old as fun, loud, and opinionated at home, but "painfully shy in every other social setting," even with relatives and peers she knows well. She's greeted with enthusiasm but won't join in. Instead, she asks her parent to play with her. This issue is especially noticeable at gymnastics, where she'll happily do an activity, then suddenly refuse to continue. No amount of encouragement will get her to budge. "It's like once she clams up, she can't get out of it." With

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25:43

Can We Overcome Our Upbringing?

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/07/21

A mother fears she's repeating the negative patterns that shaped her childhood and wonders if it's already too late to change. She writes that her mother used “guilt trips, the silent treatment, hitting, and what I would deem psychological abuse... She is who I learned to parent from.” While she has tried patience and reasoning with her kids, she still finds herself using harsh tones, lecturing, and yelling. "I don't know how to fix it." Janet explains why breaking these cycles isn't about becoming

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23:06

A Child's Rocky Transition (Why It Means She's Doing...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/07/14

A two-year-old's adjustment to a small in-home childcare setting isn't going well. She cries through much of day, flits from activity to activity, and seeks constant validation from the caregiver, repeatedly asking, "Do you like me?" This caregiver, who is also a parent of two toddlers, is baffled as to how she might be contributing to this apparent insecurity and wonders if the girl would be happier somewhere else. She's also feeling drained and overwhelmed by the situation. Janet offers her

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39:19

Gentle Parenting is Failing Parents. Here's Why.

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/07/07

What if the parenting approach that's supposed to make family life easier is actually making it harder? Many parents are discovering that what they thought was "gentle parenting" leaves them exhausted, second-guessing themselves, and struggling to set limits. Janet explains why the answer isn't a different label — it's confident leadership — and how this shift can transform family life, strengthen relationships, help children feel secure, and make parenting calmer, clearer, and far more

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27:03

Being Authentic When It Feels Mean

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/06/30

Can we be authentic with our kids without making them feel rejected? Is it wrong to find their behavior so annoying at times? A parent worries that saying "I don't want a hug right now" when she's feeling angry or annoyed will damage her relationship with her 3-year-old. Janet explores what genuine authenticity looks like with children, and how understanding a child's behavior makes it easier to respond with confidence and connection. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available

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29:34

When Daily Tasks Turn Into Daily Battles:...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/06/23

A parent writes that her 5-year-old consistently resists getting dressed, brushing her hair, bathing, or brushing her teeth. "What starts as a simple transition can turn into an hour-long battle, with both of us ending up overwhelmed and the task often still unfinished." This mom has tried everything she can think of—timers, countdowns, reward charts, silly games, punishments—but nothing seems to help. Janet explains why these well-meaning strategies can sometimes work against connection, reframes

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27:35

Peer Play. Using Our Power to Help Kids Thrive Socially

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/06/16

A 4-year-old struggles when friends won't follow her rules of play. A 3-year-old is reserved around other people. Another preschooler is routinely excluded from a group of friends. Janet weighs in on these issues and explores how parents may be playing a bigger role in these dynamics than they realize, and what they can do instead to encourage their kids to build confidence, resilience, and healthy social skills.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available

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28:38

How to Stop Kids from Interrupting

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/06/09

A parent wonders if it’s respectful—or even reasonable—to expect to sometimes have an adult conversation with her partner over dinner when their three-year-old constantly interrupts, protests, and demands attention. The situation leaves this mom questioning her approach to respectful parenting. Janet explores what children are truly ready for and how confidence in our boundaries makes all the difference, offering three practical bits of guidance to help parents approach these moments with greater

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23:16

The Answer to Hitting

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/06/02

A parent writes that she's struggling with her nearly 2.5-year old's hitting. Her toddler also talks a lot about pushing and hitting her friends "almost as if it's a joke." The parent's various attempts to curb this behavior aren't working, and she's feeling defeated. Meanwhile, the toddler's language is sounding increasingly intense and violent. Janet advises a reframe that's simpler than most parents might expect and applies to many other concerning childhood behaviors as well.Janet's "No Bad

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26:19

Dealing with Judgmental Comments About Our Parenting

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled ·

2026/05/26

A parent is concerned about the negative, judgmental comments her parents and in-laws make about her children’s behavior and their parenting. She writes that she and her husband try to implement Janet’s advice (with a mix of Montessori). While she says she isn’t personally offended by their old school opinions, she does worry about “the confusing, sometimes negative, shaming, mixed messages” and how those might affect her children. In this encore episode, Janet offers advice how she and her husband

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