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PODCAST

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship

Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Relationship Success — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples break free from dysfunctional toxic relationship cycles and build secure, loving, emotionally healthy connections.Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:✅ Healing from trauma bonding, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation ✅ Building

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

27:05

Trauma bonding WITHOUT the abuse?!

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/11/19

Today, I want to talk about a question I've been asked multiple times: Can you experience a trauma bond without overt abuse? I've heard variations of this question from various people over time, clients included. The core issue is feeling the signs of a trauma bond without clearly labeling your partner's behavior as abusive.I've dealt with this in my own life, and I get it. The thing is, abuse isn't always blatant; it can be subtle, like manipulation and gaslighting. Growing

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29:54

Trauma bonds: What it does to your brain and genetic...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/11/12

In today's episode, I'm diving into the fascinating topic of how trauma bonds impact not only our psychological well-being but also our genetic coding and physical health. So let's start by understanding that our DNA, our very genetic makeup, is significantly affected by the bonds formed through traumatic experiences. While we often focus on the emotional and mental aspects of trauma, it's vital to recognize that trauma leaves a trace in our brains and bodies.Trauma bonds,

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22:49

Trauma bond coming back to haunt you. Avoiding it...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/11/05

In this episode, I delve into the profound impact of trauma bonds on individuals. I share a story of a client who grappled with a toxic and abusive relationship, shedding light on how trauma bonds can keep people trapped in painful situations. I explain how the mind often copes by avoiding the very issues that trouble us, even when it means running into the arms of what scares us.The client's detachment from her traumatic experiences is explored, and her avoidance behaviors, such as deflecting,

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32:14

Why you stay after infidelity: Maintaining trauma bonds

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/10/29

In this podcast episode, I will delve into the complex issue of why people often remain in relationships, especially in the aftermath of infidelity, within the context of a trauma-bonded relationship. I've noticed that many of you are hesitant to discuss your experiences of infidelity, as it can be a source of shame and embarrassment. Today, I'm going to explore ten main reasons why you might choose to stay in such relationships:Intermittent Reinforcement: This psychological process leads

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26:45

True love or a trauma bond attachment? 5 questions to...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/10/22

Are you wondering whether your current relationship is built on true love or if you're stuck in a trauma bond? It's a question that plagues many of us. This episode dives deep into this common dilemma, helping you navigate the complexities of love.Often, the struggle arises when you've invested a significant amount of time, money, and emotion into a relationship, yet something feels amiss. You oscillate between moments of happiness and despair, unsure if the ups and downs are part of

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22:40

Trauma Bonds & attachment styles: 5 ways your anxious...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/10/16

In today's episode, we're going to talk about how your anxious attachment style can affect your relationships. So, why does this even come from? Well, typically when people get involved or attracted to a trauma-bonded relationship, the person who's vulnerable, the person who ends up getting hurt tends to have an anxious attachment style. So let's take a moment to understand what an anxious attachment style is before delving into how it affects relationships.An attachment style is

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20:53

Keeping the peace = keeping you trauma bonded

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/10/08

In this podcast episode, I want to talk about something that many of us can relate to. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you constantly try to keep the peace, always making sure your partner is okay and avoiding any conflicts? You might feel like you're walking on eggshells, nervous about expressing your true thoughts and feelings because you fear it will lead to arguments or you being perceived as the "bad guy."It's crucial to understand that the primary aim

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28:02

Magical love that turns ugly. What is a trauma bond?

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/10/01

Trauma bonding is a complex relationship where extreme emotional highs and lows are experienced. In the beginning, it often feels magical with intense love, but it can also involve criticism, manipulation, and abuse. This cycle repeats over time. When things hit rock bottom, discussions of change might occur, leading to a renewed sense of love and hope. However, these highs are short-lived, and the relationship becomes increasingly painful. People may feel numb, disconnected from reality, and lose

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23:49

Why you're vulnerable to getting into a trauma bonded...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/09/25

In this podcast episode, we're diving into the topic of vulnerability leading to trauma-bonded relationships, and it's a crucial issue we all need to be aware of. Many people fail to connect the dots between their past experiences, upbringing, and how they find themselves in toxic, trauma-bonded relationships. Often, individuals enter these relationships without realizing it until it's too late.The vulnerability to trauma bonding can be traced back to one's upbringing and early

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22:19

How long does it take to heal a trauma bond?

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/09/18

In this podcast episode, I delved into the complex journey of healing from a trauma-bonded relationship. Many people try to establish a fixed timeline for recovery, often based on arbitrary equations or social media advice. However, I emphasized that the healing process is highly individualized and depends on one's commitment to the process.Trauma bonds are insidious and can make it challenging to break free. Individuals may say they want to heal and move on, but their behaviors may contradict

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37:31

Why loving yourself isn't easy after a trauma bond

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/09/10

Why you can't love yourself after a trauma bond?Don't get me wrong, I think self-love is crucial.But I get irritated with social media quick quotes or whatever saying "just love yourself". Here's my issue - it's not as easy if you've been trauma bonded. If anything it feels near impossible and it is super deflating for people hearing this message, trying to self love, but not having it in them.There are 4 main issues that are intertwined as to why it's hard

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20:17

Am I really in love or am I actually trauma bonded? 5...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/09/04

In this podcast episode, I talk about the differences between being in love and being in a trauma-bonded relationship. I highlight five key factors to help you distinguish between the two:Extreme Highs and Lows: In a trauma-bonded relationship, there are massive highs followed by sudden plummeting lows. These extreme fluctuations indicate a trauma bond. Healthy love, on the other hand, involves a narrower range of emotions and a more balanced middle ground.Mature vs. Immature Love: Immature love

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21:39

Do narcissists feel the trauma bond?

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/08/26

In this podcast episode, we delve into the intriguing question: Do narcissists truly experience trauma bonds? Let's explore the intricate dynamics of trauma-bonded relationships, where you, as the vulnerable party, become entangled with a narcissistic abuser. Your deep desire to salvage the relationship, to avoid abandonment, leads to perpetual anxiety.Conversely, the narcissist employs a façade of grandiosity to shield their fragile self-esteem. Their quest for validation and adulation compels

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20:31

The most dangerous type of partner in a relationship

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/08/21

This podcast episode, I talk about the most dangerous person you can fall in love with and be in a relationship with. Chances are if you've been in a relationship with such an individual, you may have experienced a trauma bond (whether or not you know it). This involves the concept of the "dark triad" personality traits. The dark triad comprises narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Narcissism involves a self-inflated sense of superiority and vulnerability beneath the

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26:46

Trauma Bond Story: Healing from the long-term pain

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/08/14

In this podcast episode, I delve into the intricate process of healing from the enduring pain inflicted by trauma-bonded relationships. The discussion revolves around the lingering emotional turmoil and deep-seated negative beliefs that often persist long after such relationships end. The episode underscores the profound impact of these beliefs on your sense of self-worth and identity.I emphasize the significance of self-compassion in navigating this journey of healing. I shed light on the

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19:54

Why you convince yourself it is safer to stay in a...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/08/07

On the contrary to what people believe, you do not stay in a trauma bonded relationship because you're "stupid" or "don't deserve better". You stay because your subconscious mind is activated and creates all of the reasons why you should stay. Here are 3 big reasons that your mind is telling you why it is better for you to stay, than to leave.Firstly, people stay in these relationships because of a misguided sense of safety. Although the relationship itself feels

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38:19

Why men stay in abusive relationships: Shame,...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/31

In this podcast episode, Sarah is joined by David Jurasek, founder of Powerful and Loving Community of Men, Growing in Relational Leadership. They discuss the big question of why men stay in abusive relationships and explore the underlying reasons behind it. David, a psychotherapist, highlights the shame and stigma surrounding men in abusive relationships, making it difficult for them to seek help or talk about their experiences. He emphasizes the need for compassion and empathy from other men and

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17:35

10 Red flags you are in a trauma bonded relationship

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/24

Today I talk about 10 red flags you better watch out for that are signs of a trauma bonded relationship:1. Pace of the relationship - trauma bonded relationship tends to move super fast particularly due to the love bombing stage; while a stable relationship that is healthy in love moves at a slower and consistent pace.2. Communication is difficult - the person who is an empath mutes themselves and is quieter, not sharing their needs and wants; while the person who is critical and abusive (and holds

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22:20

Is a trauma bond stronger than love? 3 key reasons...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/20

In this podcast episode, I discuss the strength of trauma bonds in toxic relationships. I emphasize that trauma bonding can feel stronger than love, making it difficult for individuals to leave despite recognizing the relationship' being extremely unhealthy. There are 3 key reasons as to why a trauma bond feels stronger than love:1) Trauma bonds create addiction and dependency, similar to drug addiction, as individuals chase highs and become hypersensitive to stress. On a physiological level,

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29:47

How to heal from a trauma bond? Part 2: 5 exercises...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/17

Part 2 of how to heal from a trauma bond: 5 key exercises you can try out to begin your healing journey.Exercise 1: is all about somatic awareness. It's important to recognize that our unconscious and subconscious processes, which shape 95% of our behavior, are held in our bodies. When you feel triggered, pay attention to the physical sensations, like anxiety, in your stomach, chest, or throat. Take a moment to breathe deeply into those areas, get curious, and let your body naturally process

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