x

75% of people globally want unbiased news (Pew Research) but are concerned they're not getting that.

Get balanced coverage with Symby. See how stories are covered across diverse outlets and spot when one side covers a story the other skips.

PODCAST

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes

Welcome to If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

comedy improv

All Episodes

1:12:28

Protect Yourself From Becoming

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/04/07

Special guest Colette Arrand joins Niki, LB and John for our most vascular episode yet, discussing last weekend's Wrestlemania event and related issues, including which muscles are the "straight man" ones, Vince's new mustache, the dark secret hidden within the theme from Cheers, how Mario would fair in the UFC, LB's Pixar body count, multiple bad cruise options, and brother, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of

en

59:58

SXSW²: All Dogs Go to Heaven

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/03/31

LB, Niki and John reconvene for one of their furriest recording sessions to date, wherein they discuss performing wrestling moves on dogs, the events of All Dogs Go to Heaven 2, sexy birds, Niki's exciting new tech/multimedia conference, self-driving microphones, what a think tank is/does, an important thought experiment about cranking it, and if you can believe it, even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying

en

1:14:33

Rugrats Ego Death

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/03/24

Niki, LB and John reconvene to discuss another week's worth of pressing issues, including everyone's fun new lies, Tom Hanks' filmography, houseboats, what constitutes a "boat movie," LB's great Rick & Morty impressions, changes for a Survivor reboot, Jessica Rabbit, IRL Tommy Pickles, 9/11, and somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find

en

1:11:54

Dig Doug (Feat. Young Driller)

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/03/17

John, Niki, LB and Texas John gather for their regularly scheduled discussion salon, this week featuring such diverse topics as an XFL game that Niki watched, going to 7-Eleven, how many of those gold boys GDT has, edible arrangements, the creepy porno guy, The Office from TV, and I know this description is shorter than usual but trust me sweetheart, even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki,

en

1:10:49

The Ghost Union

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/03/10

Niki, LB and John set a new record for "time until talking about both Shrek and cum" on this week's episode, which also includes discussions of Kitty Softpaws, whether "animals in shoes" is an inherently perverse concept, LB's Megan Traynor theory [Editor's note: I refuse to look up how to spell her name, sorry], whether every movie is a sequel to every previous movie, Niki's sandwich saga, Driveycon travel logistics, and somehow my love, even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a

en

1:03:42

1-888-377-3773

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/03/03

Home from his trip to LA, John reunites with Niki and LB to settle some unfinished business from his vacation, including the volume of phone numbers within arm's reach at all times, buying a patio set at Cost Plus World Market, Kenny Loggins' voice acting career, a new rule for the podcast, motorized unicycles for white people, genuine takes re: The Grammy Awards, LB's on-air attempt at buying BTS Suga concert tickets, and sweet-cheeks, even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a

en

1:32:53

LIVE From the Cheesecake Factory

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/02/24

John, LB and Niki actually did the damn thing and recorded an episode inside the Cheesecake Factory at The Grove in Los Angeles, California.NOTE FROM LB: "IT'S BEEN OVER 5 HOURS SINCE WE LEFT THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY AND I STILL HAVE HEARTBURN. DON'T DO WHAT I DO. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES."Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve

en

1:04:47

Dick & Click's Chicken

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/02/16

oh snap it's a niki editthis week on the podcast we talk about ghost kitchens, city buses, and something else (even though i just finished editing the episode i don't remember). but it's a really good one i promise. give it a listen! tell your friends about the podcasti made a bitly link so you can just give your friends a jumble of letters to get to the show: bit.ly/iydcye Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

en

52:26

Way to Go, Jinger

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/02/10

LB, Niki and John combine their energy to produce almost two whole people's worth of podcasting ability, which they use to discuss having "the" doctor's appointment, KTLA's intellectual property theft from John and Niki, the Obamas not thinking "big enough," if the First Lady should be forced to host a television program, the Daytime Emmy awards, the current state of reality television on TLC, and sweetheart, somehow even more.Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating

en

1:00:23

Shrek's Constitutional Rights

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/02/03

With our producer Jordo in the icy hell of Texas' privatized energy grid, your hosts were free to bully each other, discuss NASCAR's Clash at the Coliseum, investigate the legal implications of Shrek, and explore the "worst fandom in history" bracket. [Update: Jordo is back from hell and has replaced the original upload with a properly mixed version. If you heard the first MP3, congratulations!]Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder

en

1:14:29

Shriek the Screaming Skeleton

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/01/27

Niki, John and LB experience true ego death within the bowels of "Design Toscano," where they discuss what a snifter is, whether Jesus will fit in the carry-on luggage, life after death, home furnishings available in "human bone finish," buck-naked Father Christmas, a multitude of sexy sculptures for your home or office, where "on the face does the face stop," temple maidens, and darling, somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos,

en

1:22:05

Snorkleman

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/01/20

John, LB and Niki bring a new set of issues to the table for discussion, including what qualifies as a broken bone, the film Risky Business, Don Cheadle's unsullied innocence, a special deal for new advertisers, how Jesus Christ figures into the whole alpha/beta/sigma thing, more than a decade's worth of forum posts about the cheesecake aboard Carnival cruises, and darling, somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of

en

59:42

Wizard of Monty Christo

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/01/13

Niki, LB and John settle in for an afternoon chill sesh, during which they: evangelize the gamification of the Catholic Church; discuss the possibilities opened up by the death of non-compete agreements; take a brief sojourn to the realm of artificial intelligence; investigate various objects with their senses; determine their personal The Picture of Dorian Gray-esque cursed objects; remember getting stuck out in public with your typewriter; and sweetheart, even more. Welcome to If You're Driving,

en

1:19:02

Also Zack Zathura

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2023/01/06

John, Niki and LB are back from break and positively bursting with a rejuvenated vigor for podcasting, which they immediately put to use discussing the perks of being LB's best friend, Niki's new hobby buying coins off the TV, a LOT of talk about erectile dysfunction commercials, where Dr. Pepper comes from, LB and Niki's New Year's Resolutions, "the Instagram showerhead," the specs for our first automobile, a new yaoi quiz, and honey buns, somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your

en

1:01:30

Avatar 4: Grohm Jabar

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2022/12/16

John subjects LB and Niki to a game show of his own design entitled What Happened in 2009?, which is exactly what it sounds like. This causes our intrepid trio to discuss the Avatar pentalogy, what kinds of shoes people wore on the Titanic (if any), bad question design, Balloon Boy, a very unorthodox use for a screwdriver, and kitten, even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our

en

1:14:15

Chegg, Cregg, Gregg or Pegg

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2022/12/09

John, Niki and LB return to the content mines to trudge up a fresh batch of insightful and witty conversations about prescient topics affecting modern society, including Niki's fun new game show, whether Huey Lewis is on Cameo, LB's fun new game show, John's fun new game show, everyone's favorite Price is Right games, dark dating show concepts, shooting four epic guns (perfect for families), the menu at Sapphire Las Vegas Pool Party Grill, and you bet your sweet bippy, even more.Welcome to If You're

en

1:06:02

Education City and Niki Grayson Birthday Special

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2022/12/02

It's Niki's bappy!! To celebrate, the gang returns to their ancestral birthplace, Education City, Qatar, for a regal symposium focusing on such diverse topics as procedural television shows, holographic airport women, the World Cup, DILF-era Bill Goldberg, Niki's ongoing malpractice issues, streaming from the airport, the latest Official Enemy of the Show declaration, and baby, even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our

en

58:07

Ask Your Dickensian Girlfriend Anything!

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2022/11/25

It's Black Friday here in the ol' US of A, and to mark this bleak occasion the Niki, LB and John discuss a wide range of unrelated topics, including Niki's new obsession with "miniature airplanes," digging a hole with Joe Biden, what days they have in Japan, the time a guy hit John in the face with his own cane, buying porn at the airport, how to start conversations with girl, how to start conversations with guy, and my sweet summer child, even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a

en

56:27

Palm Desert Boguscon

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2022/11/18

Niki, LB and John reconvene to navigate another week's worth of life's treacherous roadways, including who the next wave of biopics will focus on, starting a Patreon for the United States Armed Forces, LB's Xbox account, Jay Jay the Jet Plane, our Lord Jesus Christ, a show called "Mr. Bogus" that John watched as a kid, the importance of heating a pastry, and I swear to God, even more. Support merritt's book!! Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty,

en

1:11:59

Twitter Memorial Special

If You"re Driving, Close Your Eyes ·

2022/11/11

John, LB and Niki gather here today to pay tribute to one of the best/worst websites of all time, Twitter dot com, which is dead now. The gang also discusses where we should all go next, the best-ever day on Twitter, everyone's favorite tweets, a scam to become land owners in Scotland, "man's unpaid obligation to hardworking bees," the Criagslist forum dedicated to haiku, and I swear to God, even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and

en

169 results

Similar Podcasts

射後不理＃爽就好了

咪咪 & 淳淳

Therapy Gecko

iHeartPodcasts

百靈果 News

Bailingguo News

Old Time Radio Comedy

solgoodmedia.com

The Hard Yarns Podcast

Cameron Branch and Daniel Delby