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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

18:34

Torosaurus, the Perforated Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2023/04/04

(image source: https://bit.ly/3K1kgNM) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Torosaurus, a dinosaur very distinct from Triceratops regardless of what Jack Horner tells you in a wide variety of ways that I cannot think of right now. But Horner can’t win! We won’t let him! From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot chasmosaurine ceratopsian had the biggest known skull of any land animal in Earth’s history, which means it was either very full of itself or genius-level brainy. Except

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9:03

Tanidromites nightwishorum, the Crab of the Band...

Paleo Bites ·

2023/03/28

(image source: http://bit.ly/3ZjI592 and an edited stock photo)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Tanidromites nightwishorum, a crab named after the Finnish symphonic metal band that has nothing whatsoever notable about it and is thusly the first truly bite-sized Paleo Bites episode. We might have more of these to discuss species with very little info about them but are still notable somehow. I mean, it’s in the name of the show! From the Late Jurassic, this little decapod

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26:45

Herrerasaurus, the Lizard of Victorino Herrera

Paleo Bites ·

2023/03/21

(image source: https://fineartamerica.com/featured/herrerasaurus-ischigualastensis-sergey-krasovskiy.html)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Herrerasaurus, one of the earliest dinosaurs and yet still a rather big boi that I would not want to mess with. Look at dat boi! I’m hip, bro. From the Mid Triassic, this 20-foot carnivorous dinosaur was so primitive the closest we can get to its taxonomic placement is that it was a saurischian, or lizard-hipped. Looks like this boi was

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28:15

Coelophysis, the Hollow Form

Paleo Bites ·

2023/03/14

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Coelophysis-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Coelophysis, the archetypal early dinosaur despite some rather advanced features compared to earlier dinosaurs, one of which we’ll talk about next week! A bit of a sausage sizzle there for the listeners. From the Late Triassic, this 10-foot theropod was initially thought to be a cannibal, then it was found to not be, until it was found to be a cannibal once again! C’mon,

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26:06

Pezosiren, the Walking Manatee

Paleo Bites ·

2023/03/07

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Pezosiren)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Pezosiren, a hippo-like ancestor of manatees when they weren’t quite sea cows but sea-ish cows. Semiaquatic cows. Except not cows. From the Eocene epoch, this 7-foot sirenian mammal lived quite the peaceful life in its lagoon habitat, floating and grazing the fronds of seagrass… at least when it wasn’t being violently torn apart by crocodiles, sharks, and early whales. Mmm… sea

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21:42

Gigantoraptor, the Gigantic Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2023/02/28

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Gigantoraptor-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gigantoraptor, which, like the name suggests, is a gigantic raptor. A big Oviraptor, not Velociraptor, since they’re two totally different families. Pay attention. From the Late Cretaceous, this 26-foot oviraptorosaur browsed from trees and plucked poor creatures off the ground like the demonic ostrich it was. That’d be a much better name for it than “gigantic thief,” I

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17:40

Carbonemys, the Coal Turtle

Paleo Bites ·

2023/02/21

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbonemys)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Carbonemys, an enormous super predator that gives Raphael a run for his money in terms of turtle aggression and edginess. From the Early Paleocene, this 10-foot turtle chomped on crocodiles and fought giant snakes such as Titanoboa, which is freaking wild. A fitting start to the Age of Mammals; not with mammals, but with giant monstrous reptiles. Sort of like how the Age of Dinosaurs

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30:53

Iguanodon, the Iguana Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2023/02/14

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Iguanodon-pictures)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Iguanodon, a dinosaur that’s not an iguana nor known for its teeth, so its chosen name is a real mystery. From the Early Cretaceous, this 30-foot ornithopod was one of the first dinosaurs discovered and was a bulky bro for sure, able to get in some good licks and slashes with its spiked thumb and burly arms. What a real man! Toxic masculinity, ain’t it great? No, it’s not, not

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19:00

Protoavis, the First Bird

Paleo Bites ·

2023/02/07

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Protoavis) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Protoavis, a highly controversial fossil that might disrupt the entire evolutionary line leading to birds, but also, probably not. From the Late Triassic, this 1-foot reptile might have been an early dinosaur, another type of archosaur, or something completely unrelated, but one thing it certainly was not was a bird. Even if it was the actual progenitor of the avian evolutionary

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27:58

Mussaurus, the Mouse Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2023/01/31

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mussaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Mussaurus, a teeny tiny dinosaur in a family of giant dinosaurs, except those tiny fossils were actually of babies and the adults were fairly large anyways. Your one novelty was a lie, Mussaurus. From the Early Jurassic, this 20-foot sauropodomorph had a fairly cute name that was also fairly unrepresentative of its actual being. I mean, this was neither mouse nor lizard, and was far

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16:35

Tullimonstrum, the Monster of Francis Tully

Paleo Bites ·

2023/01/24

(image source: http://bit.ly/3QDvTx7) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Tullimonstrum, an anomaly and enigma in every sense of the word and proof that evolution has a twisted sense of humor. From the Late Carboniferous, this 1-foot… thing has been suggested to be from a multitude of different lineages. Personally, I think it was an alien. Some sort of terrible extraterrestrial race invaded Earth in the Late Carboniferous and this was the result. They didn’t take over the

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23:40

Dracoraptor, the Draconic Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2023/01/17

(image source: http://bit.ly/3ZuaOcH) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Dracoraptor, the very first Jurassic dinosaur known and a survivor of the Triassic-Jurassic mass extinction, the one everyone seems to forget for some reason. It was a multiple impact event, people! Probably. From the Early Jurassic, this 3-foot coelophysid didn’t really have much going for it, and probably is some offshoot of Coelophysis that made it past the extinction. This is more of an excuse to

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22:10

Phorusrhacos, the Wrinkle Bearer

Paleo Bites ·

2023/01/10

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/312366924155667804/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Phorusrhacos, the last hurrah of giant land-based theropod dinosaurs as top predators, ruling well after non-avian dinosaurs went extinct. That’s not funny, just cool, but then again these descriptions aren’t really funny anyway. From the Early Miocene, this 9-foot-tall bird was part of a group colloquially known as “terror birds,” which makes all the sense in the world, as I’m

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22:11

Oviraptor, the Egg Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2023/01/03

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oviraptor) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Oviraptor, the most unfairly judged dinosaur found fossilized with a bunch of eggs and thus was assumed to be stealing those eggs rather than nurturing their own. There’s no way this thing could actually be a good mother, now could it? From the Late Cretaceous, this 5-foot maniraptoran theropod had a cassowary-like beak and roadrunner-like feathers, making it quite bird-like in many

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20:16

Hybodus, the Crooked Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2022/12/27

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Hybodus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Hybodus, a seemingly ordinary looking shark that might have actually had a temporal range of nearly 200 million years because, evolutionarily speaking, it was perfect. Sharks, man. From the Late Permian to the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot hybodont fish had little spikes adorning its dorsal fins as its distinguishing feature, which I guess made all the difference in the world. I

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20:58

Microraptor, the Tiny Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2022/12/20

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microraptor)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Microraptor, a beautiful ebony gem that went butterfly-mode and had four wings instead of two. Show-off. From the Early Cretaceous, this 2-foot dromaeosaurid might have been capable of true flight, but also might not have, which would be embarrassing. You went through all this effort to have four separate wings rather than the usual two and you still couldn’t fly?! What a waste of

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22:25

Carnotaurus, the Meat-Eating Bull

Paleo Bites ·

2022/12/13

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Carnotaurus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Carnotaurus, a carnivore that heard all other dinosaurs end in ‘saurus’ so decided to change one letter to be distinctive. I respect the commitment to bare minimum effort. From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot abelisaurid theropod had two devilish horns and a grumpy personality, making it a big bully in the dino world. Honestly, if my arms were even shorter than T. rex’s, I

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20:17

Acrocanthosaurus, the High Spined Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2022/12/06

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Acrocanthosaurus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Acrocanthosaurus, perhaps the biggest and meanest predator before the mighty rex ever took its first stomp. From the Early Cretaceous, this 38-foot carcharodontosaurid was roughly the size of T. rex, had the spine of Spinosaurus, and the overall body shape of a Giganotosaurus, making it the ultimate amalgamation of the bad guy dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park franchise,

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21:46

Platyhystrix, the Flat Porcupine

Paleo Bites ·

2022/11/29

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platyhystrix) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Platyhystrix, an amphibian with the head of a frog, the back of a newt, and the sail of a Dimetrodon just for giggles. From the Late Carboniferous, this 3-foot temnospondyl swiftly swam and slithered with its sail-lined spine sticking straight out of the surface of the swamp. I’m good with my alliterations sometimes, I reckon. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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22:01

Minmi, of the Minmi Crossing

Paleo Bites ·

2022/11/22

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minmi_paravertebra) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Minmi, a cutesy wittle turtledillo with a cutesy wittle name, one of the shortest names of all dinosaurs if Yi and Zby weren’t a thing. From the Early Cretaceous, this 9-foot ankylosaur nearly got rendered invalid due to insufficient evidence, but thankfully the world was kind enough to provide fossils of other ankylosaurs in its area to prove its distinctiveness as a

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