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PODCAST

Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our

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All Episodes

35:18

72. Preparing for a Breakup

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/01/20

How do you prepare yourself for the difficult emotions of ending your relationship? Deciding to end any relationship can be a tumultuous decision — especially if you have no support. So, where can you turn for help? If you’re looking for a way to prepare for a breakup, Dr. Marie Murphy has some steps to help you navigate this process without fear and choose the best course for you. As she says, once your vision is clear and you have a better understanding of what you want, you can begin to take the

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27:43

71. When You Love Your Partner And You Still Want To...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/01/13

Do you want relief from your complicated feelings about monogamy? What can you do to get what you really want out of your monogamous relationship? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, there is no simple solution. The first step is to determine what you’re looking for from your relationship — but many people struggle to find that clarity. That’s where Dr. Murphy comes in. She has the strategies you need to get clear on your desires and configure the relationship that’s best for you. With her help, you can

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27:22

70. What Does It Mean To Be Selfish?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2022/01/06

What do you want other people to believe about you? And, do these opinions stop you from pursuing your true desires? The concept of selfishness may feel inherently bad — but does it need to be? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, in order to achieve what you really want from your relationship, you have to examine the definition of selfishness in your own life. Many people struggle with the idea of seeming selfish and instead choose to avoid their honest wants and needs. That’s where Dr. Murphy comes in

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24:24

69. Making Changes In 2022

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/12/30

How can you initiate change if you aren’t getting what you want out of your infidelity situation? What can you do to create a difference in your pattern of thinking as you approach the New Year? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you can make the changes you desire by permitting yourself to take effective action. As she says, you have to be willing to invest in the journey to achieve the results you long for in your relationship. By altering your mindset and taking the first steps forward, you can make

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27:51

68. Infidelity and Death

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/12/23

Are you struggling to let go of your old self and transform into who you want to be? In order to change, you must surrender to what you want in your relationship and in your life — and that can often cause a shroud of doubt. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, only death allows for rebirth, and a metaphorical death can help you embrace your new self and reach the outcome you truly desire. While the awareness that life is fleeting and unpredictable can be uncomfortable, it is helpful for examining your

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43:52

67. Choosing To Leave A Good-Enough Marriage for Your...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/12/16

Deciding to end your marriage for your affair partner can be complicated. It can leave you with feelings of discomfort and confusion about what you truly want. Fortunately, there are ways to gain more clarity about the best path forward in your infidelity situation. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, if you’re able to change your thinking, you can change your circumstances. Deciding to leave your marriage for your affair partner is not without its challenges. But to procure what you want, you have to be

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30:25

66. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Four: Dealing...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/12/09

Are you feeling conflicted and confused about your infidelity situation this holiday season? How do you distinguish between taking action because of your genuine desires and taking action because of your impulses? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, learning to refrain from overthinking and instead sitting still with your discomfort can help you reach the outcome you truly desire. While it’s essential to recognize your conflicting thoughts, it is also crucial to avoid letting the confusion manifest. Dr

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31:06

65. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Three: Putting...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/12/02

If you’re having an affair and want to change the situation, how can you overcome the fear of finding the right time — especially during the holiday season? Are you just avoiding the uncomfortable feelings about facing your situation? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, feeling uneasy should not prevent you from doing what you want. Purposefully learning how to deal with the emotions that make you uncomfortable can help change your mindset and become someone who faces fears and does not let fear dictate

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24:48

64. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Two: Being the...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/11/25

Is your current infidelity situation what do you want this holiday season? How do you find significance and clarity in what you want? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the meanings we assign to the holidays will determine our experience this season. How you think you should feel determines your behavior — and your behavior will impact the results you see in life. When you can master your thoughts and have a clear understanding of what you believe to be true, you have the power to take action. In this

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28:14

63. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part One

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/11/18

Are you feeling pressure and guilt about your infidelity situation with the upcoming holidays? How do you find a sense of relief from the thoughts clouding your mind? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the key to clearing your mind is understanding the meaning you assign to your circumstances. We are constantly giving meaning to our lives, but it is essential to separate the facts from our stories. Dr. Murphy suggests forming the habit of examining your thoughts and beliefs in more neutral terms, so you

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25:48

62. Making Difficult Decisions

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/11/11

Does making a decision about your infidelity situation seem like an unfathomable problem? How can you make the best choice for yourself in the present moment? Understandably, many people do not want to face the consequences of their difficult choices. They tend to identify the uncomfortable emotions that come with these decisions as unfavorable — but Dr. Marie Murphy asks: what if these feelings aren’t inherently negative? If you can recognize the inevitable discomfort of these emotions, you can

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25:57

61. Sex, Unhappiness, and Compromises in Marriage

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/11/04

Are you wondering if you’re compromising too much or not enough in your marriage? How do you know when you’ve crossed the threshold of unhappiness and need to make a change? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, our beliefs about what is possible determine what becomes possible. Your reality is what you make it — as long as you’re willing to put in the work. While it can be challenging to address your feelings and desires, Dr. Murphy suggests that changing how you approach your marriage or relationship can

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20:45

60. Dealing with Other People's Feelings

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/10/28

How are other people’s feelings impacting your emotions and choices? What would happen if you started taking responsibility for your own feelings? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s possible to take responsibility for your actions and feelings — without needing to feel responsible for other people’s emotions. The path to peace is discovering the power of your own thoughts and learning to let go of other people’s emotions. As Dr. Murphy says, no one can determine your feelings for you. It’s up to

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25:30

59. Is the Grass Always Greener?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/10/21

Are you questioning what you want out of your relationship? Society often hides the challenges of marriage, and many relationships don’t work out. But, how do you know which path forward is the right one for you? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people enter into a marriage with little to no idea of what marriage means to them. They may believe it is the only legitimate form of partnership — without knowing what they want out of that partnership. And, when a marriage doesn’t work out, many people

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27:06

58. Financial Fears, Divorce, and Infidelity

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/10/14

When you imagine the worst-case scenario about a change in your finances, you may be ignoring the critical question: do you want to continue a romantic partnership with your spouse? Many people struggle to make a change to their infidelity situation because of financial concerns. So, how can you start alleviating your fears about money? Dr. Marie Murphy suggests taking the fears head-on, investigating your true feelings surrounding financial change, and asking yourself: is the money worth your

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39:16

57. Re-Engaging in a Relationship After an Affair

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/10/07

Are you considering re-engaging in a relationship after an affair but unsure where to start? Whether you want to reorient yourself with a partner after a period of disconnection, or you just want to be on neutral ground before deciding to leave, Dr. Marie Murphy is here to guide you through the process. The first step is asking yourself if you truly want to re-engage with your partner. If so, Dr. Murphy’s strategies can help you manage unintentional thoughts, rekindle desire, and work toward the

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24:10

56. Cutting off Contact With Your Affair Partner

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/09/30

Are you trying to make changes to your infidelity situation, but are having difficulty dealing with the contradictions of your thoughts and desires? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the decisions surrounding infidelity may seem complicated — especially if you have strong feelings for your affair partner. But, if you don’t have a clear reason for ending or staying in your relationship, you will never have a clear answer. Luckily, there are some techniques to help you identify the desires and

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21:14

55. Contemplating Leaving Your Marriage

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/09/23

Does wanting to leave your marriage seem like an unsolvable problem? What do you do if the decision is unclear? It’s completely normal to have concerns and fears when contemplating divorce. But, according to Dr. Marie Murphy, considering leaving your marriage does not equate to getting a divorce. By taking the time to acknowledge your dissatisfaction with your marriage and work through your mixed emotions, you can find the solution that is right for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With

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27:25

54. Embracing Your Contradictions

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/09/16

Do you feel stuck in a cycle of conflicting thoughts and emotions? Contradicting feelings can be draining, confusing, and overwhelming — but do they need to be? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, in order to resolve these contradictions, you must first acknowledge the good parts of your infidelity situation. While it’s essential to recognize these emotions, it doesn’t mean they need to define your relationship. Dr. Murphy says that the best way to overcome these difficult thoughts is to have

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55:37

53. Divorce and Your Relationship with Your Kids with...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/09/09

Infidelity, separation, or divorce can have parents wondering if they’re harming their children. As a parent, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed — especially when you’re going through a big life change. But what if there was a way to navigate these tricky feelings and create a better relationship with your kids? As the Founder of Mother Flipping Awesome, Abigail Wald is here to help you overcome your fears about parenting. If you want to build a strong relationship with your children after your divorce,

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