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PODCAST

Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

31:06

65. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Three: Putting...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/12/02

If you’re having an affair and want to change the situation, how can you overcome the fear of finding the right time — especially during the holiday season? Are you just avoiding the uncomfortable feelings about facing your situation? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, feeling uneasy should not prevent you from doing what you want. Purposefully learning how to deal with the emotions that make you uncomfortable can help change your mindset and become someone who faces fears and does not let fear dictate

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24:48

64. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Two: Being the...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/11/25

Is your current infidelity situation what do you want this holiday season? How do you find significance and clarity in what you want? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the meanings we assign to the holidays will determine our experience this season. How you think you should feel determines your behavior — and your behavior will impact the results you see in life. When you can master your thoughts and have a clear understanding of what you believe to be true, you have the power to take action. In this

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28:14

63. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part One

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/11/18

Are you feeling pressure and guilt about your infidelity situation with the upcoming holidays? How do you find a sense of relief from the thoughts clouding your mind? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the key to clearing your mind is understanding the meaning you assign to your circumstances. We are constantly giving meaning to our lives, but it is essential to separate the facts from our stories. Dr. Murphy suggests forming the habit of examining your thoughts and beliefs in more neutral terms, so you

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25:48

62. Making Difficult Decisions

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/11/11

Does making a decision about your infidelity situation seem like an unfathomable problem? How can you make the best choice for yourself in the present moment? Understandably, many people do not want to face the consequences of their difficult choices. They tend to identify the uncomfortable emotions that come with these decisions as unfavorable — but Dr. Marie Murphy asks: what if these feelings aren’t inherently negative? If you can recognize the inevitable discomfort of these emotions, you can

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25:57

61. Sex, Unhappiness, and Compromises in Marriage

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/11/04

Are you wondering if you’re compromising too much or not enough in your marriage? How do you know when you’ve crossed the threshold of unhappiness and need to make a change? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, our beliefs about what is possible determine what becomes possible. Your reality is what you make it — as long as you’re willing to put in the work. While it can be challenging to address your feelings and desires, Dr. Murphy suggests that changing how you approach your marriage or relationship can

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20:45

60. Dealing with Other People's Feelings

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/10/28

How are other people’s feelings impacting your emotions and choices? What would happen if you started taking responsibility for your own feelings? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s possible to take responsibility for your actions and feelings — without needing to feel responsible for other people’s emotions. The path to peace is discovering the power of your own thoughts and learning to let go of other people’s emotions. As Dr. Murphy says, no one can determine your feelings for you. It’s up to

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25:30

59. Is the Grass Always Greener?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/10/21

Are you questioning what you want out of your relationship? Society often hides the challenges of marriage, and many relationships don’t work out. But, how do you know which path forward is the right one for you? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people enter into a marriage with little to no idea of what marriage means to them. They may believe it is the only legitimate form of partnership — without knowing what they want out of that partnership. And, when a marriage doesn’t work out, many people

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27:06

58. Financial Fears, Divorce, and Infidelity

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/10/14

When you imagine the worst-case scenario about a change in your finances, you may be ignoring the critical question: do you want to continue a romantic partnership with your spouse? Many people struggle to make a change to their infidelity situation because of financial concerns. So, how can you start alleviating your fears about money? Dr. Marie Murphy suggests taking the fears head-on, investigating your true feelings surrounding financial change, and asking yourself: is the money worth your

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39:16

57. Re-Engaging in a Relationship After an Affair

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/10/07

Are you considering re-engaging in a relationship after an affair but unsure where to start? Whether you want to reorient yourself with a partner after a period of disconnection, or you just want to be on neutral ground before deciding to leave, Dr. Marie Murphy is here to guide you through the process. The first step is asking yourself if you truly want to re-engage with your partner. If so, Dr. Murphy’s strategies can help you manage unintentional thoughts, rekindle desire, and work toward the

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24:10

56. Cutting off Contact With Your Affair Partner

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/09/30

Are you trying to make changes to your infidelity situation, but are having difficulty dealing with the contradictions of your thoughts and desires? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the decisions surrounding infidelity may seem complicated — especially if you have strong feelings for your affair partner. But, if you don’t have a clear reason for ending or staying in your relationship, you will never have a clear answer. Luckily, there are some techniques to help you identify the desires and

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21:14

55. Contemplating Leaving Your Marriage

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/09/23

Does wanting to leave your marriage seem like an unsolvable problem? What do you do if the decision is unclear? It’s completely normal to have concerns and fears when contemplating divorce. But, according to Dr. Marie Murphy, considering leaving your marriage does not equate to getting a divorce. By taking the time to acknowledge your dissatisfaction with your marriage and work through your mixed emotions, you can find the solution that is right for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With

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27:25

54. Embracing Your Contradictions

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/09/16

Do you feel stuck in a cycle of conflicting thoughts and emotions? Contradicting feelings can be draining, confusing, and overwhelming — but do they need to be? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, in order to resolve these contradictions, you must first acknowledge the good parts of your infidelity situation. While it’s essential to recognize these emotions, it doesn’t mean they need to define your relationship. Dr. Murphy says that the best way to overcome these difficult thoughts is to have

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55:37

53. Divorce and Your Relationship with Your Kids with...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/09/09

Infidelity, separation, or divorce can have parents wondering if they’re harming their children. As a parent, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed — especially when you’re going through a big life change. But what if there was a way to navigate these tricky feelings and create a better relationship with your kids? As the Founder of Mother Flipping Awesome, Abigail Wald is here to help you overcome your fears about parenting. If you want to build a strong relationship with your children after your divorce,

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25:12

52. Dealing with Other People's Opinions, Part Three

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/09/02

Are you seeking to free yourself from other people’s thoughts about your infidelity? If you’re having an affair, other people may cast a blanket of disapproval over your situation — and that can cause you to start forming the same negative opinions. But, do you really want to give someone that power over your beliefs and feelings? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s common for people to seek approval from others about their decisions. But it doesn’t have to be that way. As Dr. Murphy says, you get

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30:50

51. Dealing with Other People's Opinions, Part Two

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/08/26

What do you want people to believe about you? Other people’s opinions can have a powerful impact on how you perceive yourself. Different people will have positive and negative opinions, but when they are not aligned with your own, it's easy to devalue yourself. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, many people conceptualize their opinions of what is right or wrong as being fundamentally correct — but this is not always valid. Although it’s common to desire the approval of other people, it’s important to avoid

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50:13

50. The Joys and Sorrows of Adultery with Mona Lisa

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/08/19

It’s easy to feel encapsulated in an adultery bubble. With all the stigma around infidelity, where can you go to speak about the feelings you have? Is there a place to escape judgment and shame? Mona Lisa has created a safe space for adulterers, like herself, to connect without fear. For Mona, infidelity is empowering and provides her with a sense of freedom — but it is not without pain and other difficult emotions. She knows other people are navigating the same feelings, and that’s why she believes

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22:47

49. In Defense of "New Relationship Energy"

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/08/12

New relationships carry a special energy, often referred to as the “honeymoon period.” But what happens after the excitement wears off? Is the relationship doomed — or can this energy spark a long-term bond? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, “new relationship energy” isn’t always a bad thing. While it’s important to recognize its existence and role in your relationship, it doesn't mean that the romance is over once this excitement wears off. So, how can you continue to build a sustainable relationship

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19:07

48. Forgiving Yourself

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/08/05

Do you feel stuck in a loop of self-loathing? Are there moments in your past that you feel helpless to change, so you end up re-playing them over and over again in your head? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s important to stop blaming and shaming yourself and start releasing your own pain. While forgiving yourself doesn’t mean getting a free pass to abdicate any kind of responsibility, you can shift your focus to the more positive contributions that you want to make. This way, your past mistakes

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22:14

47. Being the “Other Person,” Part Three

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/07/29

Being the “other person” in an affair is complicated, to say the least. You fell in love with an amazing person, but are now stuck waiting for them to leave their long-term partner. With such difficult emotions at play, how can you choose the best path forward? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it’s easy to obsess over your partner’s decisions when you’re the “other person” in an affair. However, it’s important to remember that you have ultimate control over your life — and the decisions you make in

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47:18

46. Dealing With Other People's Opinions, Part One

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/07/22

People have opinions about everything. However, when those opinions turn negative and become directed at you, it can feel extremely uncomfortable. Sometimes it might seem easier to try and avoid the discomfort by hiding your true desires or beliefs. But that response typically isn’t what’s best for you. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, embracing discomfort is sometimes the only way you can truly start feeling better. Doing the right thing for yourself will occasionally result in judgment from others —

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