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PODCAST

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

I’m Anna Runkle, also known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and I teach people to recognize and heal the symptoms of Childhood PTSD. Welcome to my podcast!I’m not a doctor or therapist; I know about childhood trauma because I lived it, and I discovered a radical approach to healing that focuses first on calming neurological dysregulation, which is common in people who grew up with abuse and neglect. In my podcasts, I teach about dysregulation – how to know if you have it, what it can do to

education self-improvement

All Episodes

14:35

What to Do When You Feel Like Running Away

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2025/01/15

Hardly anyone understands this, but when you spend your life pursuing people who aren’t into you and won’t commit to you – guess who’s the avoidant? You are. Even though you’re devastated when they reject you and you pine away for them after it’s over, there’s something about the way you *know* it can never work out that sets you free to love without reservation. You can love deeply, but keep your options open, and never feel trapped. But you'll always feel grief, which may be wearing like

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25:15

How to Spot and Heal Covert Avoidance

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2025/01/13

So many people are walking through life WANTING to solve problems of connection, and purpose and productivity and TRYING to do it. And they don’t even realize they’re doing this! But they’re holding their lives – and especially the PEOPLE in their lives – at arm's length. This is what I call “covert avoidance.” You LOOK like you’re engaged deeply with your life, but really? You’re distracted, you’re making plans and then canceling them, you’re setting goals and then wiping them from your

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93:57

A Few Crumbs of Love Will Never Be Enough

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2025/01/12

If you want a loving, committed relationship, you may be undermining that by having no-love, no-commitment FWB relationships. You may have been conditioned to believe that filling your time with meaningless s*x was OK, until magically, the love of your life comes along -- that you could just ditch the empty relationship at that time, and happiness would follow. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos about the ways past trauma (and especially neglect in

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19:27

How You Can Reduce the Emotional Intensity, and...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2025/01/10

It doesn’t matter what your avoidant partner tells you: If they are giving you the silent treatment – storming out, going AWOL for days or weeks at a time with no explanation, they are emotionally abusing you. And if you’re left feeling obsessed and frantic for little crumbs of communicaiton, I’m sending you a lifeline, to tell you – your trauma wounds have been activated, and from here on out, it’s going to be VERY hard to find any peace or happiness, unless the whole dynamic of your

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26:56

How to Stop Falling for Partners Who Idealize You...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2025/01/08

A pathological narcissist makes you feel like the most special person in the world, and then the next day, will discard you for the tiniest of reasons – and then they blame you. If you grew up with parents who sometimes cared for you and sometimes forgot about you – or blamed you, you may be especially vulnerable to this dizzy cycle with partners who idealize you, become emotionally abusive, and then throw you away. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who wants help

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15:09

You May Not Realize This Has Already Happened (Until...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2025/01/06

People talk a lot about being "trauma bonded" but most don't know what it means. They mistakenly think it’s when two traumatized people form a bond because they have that shared experience of trauma. And that happens, but that’s not what it means to be “trauma bonded.” In fact, the truth is much worse. Is this happening to you? In this video, I explain how trauma bonds develop, what the signs are that it's happening, and how to break free.Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the

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70:48

What to Do When You Feel Abandoned

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2025/01/05

Here’s the hard truth about trauma: Some of the things you didn’t get as a child, can’t be fixed directly. We can’t go back in time. We can’t be children again to receive the proper love and care we needed then. And we can’t save people we lost. But those of us with CPTSD CAN learn to fill our lives with love and support NOW, and start working on the triggers, and the distorted thinking, and the self-defeating behaviors that are the natural byproduct of trauma in your childhood. When you

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19:26

Childhood Trauma and the Fear of Speaking in Public

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2025/01/03

You’ve probably heard this: The most common phobia in the world is public speaking. An estimated 75% of people experience anxiety when they have to speak in front of people. When you add a history of trauma into the mix, well – if you watch this channel, you’ve probably experienced it yourself. Speaking in front of groups can be paralyzing. My letter today is from a woman whose fear of public speaking is a huge block to her career and her sense of confidence. Try the FREE Daily Practice

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16:43

When You Reach Out to An Ex, Be Careful You're Not...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2025/01/01

Getting closure after a breakup is a real thing. But too often, people in the grips of heartbreak use the word to justify attempts to reconnect, so they can get another chance to try again to be loved. But the reason they won't just say "I want another chance" is they want “plausible deniability" – they need cover for the fact that they are so obsessed they will tolerate rejection or worse, just to get that second chance. So how do you know when your desire for closure is genuine, and when

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17:03

It's Time! Here's How to Get Your Sh** Together

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/30

Of all the red flags I’ve learned to detect, there’s one that really makes my “danger” radar go off, and that’s when a grown man or woman says they NEVER want to grow up. What does that mean? In the people I’ve known, it means they don’t have their shit together – and they’re pretending that there’s this FUN reason why. In this video, I teach the signs that childhood trauma has kept aspects of your life stuck -- allowing the child in you to control the adult in you -- and what to do to get

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51:01

Stand Up For What Your Soul Knows You Need (4-Video...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/29

Your Childhood PTSD symptoms have likely created a lifetime of problems in relationships choosing unavailable people, clinging to bad relationships or avoiding intimacy altogether. But the reason you long for real love -- a "great love" even -- is because you were born to love and be loved. How does a person move past the hurts of the past and learn, at last, to love?How To Prepare For a Great Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED:

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22:18

How Shame Drives You to Obsess on Someone You Can't Have

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/27

Limerence is a weapons-grade obsession with other people you can’t actually be with. It blocks you from real love, and holds onto you like an addiction. People say limerence is a projection of who YOU really are, or a projection of the divine – but sometimes I think that toxic cloud of limerence might be generated by the ABSENCE left by your parents’ failure to truly see or love you. In this video I respond to a letter from a man who grew up in a family paralyzed by shame; now he's

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15:46

Quick Technique to Instantly Change How You See the...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/25

Many of you have been telling me you’re struggling with a feeling of emptiness right now, especially during the holidays. One person described it as a mix of sadness and "What's the point?" Maybe you're feeling depressed or lost, or as if things have gotten so bad that there just isn't any good in the world anymore. But there is good. It's all around us, even in the darkest moments, and I'll show you a ten-minute guided relaxation exercise that will allow you to connect that spirit of good,

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18:35

When Friends Push You Away, This Might Be Why

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/23

This is one of the WORST aspects of living with the effects of early trauma: You keep losing friends, but you don’t know why. If you were abused or neglected in childhood, I can almost guarantee you’ve had more than your share of ruined friendships. That’s what trauma in childhood so often does to us, long term it injures our ability to connect with other people -- for several reasons. You’ve probably been aware for a long time that connection is hard for you sometimes. And this is a

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22:10

How to NOT Let Negative People Drag You Down

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/20

Abuse and neglect in childhood can leave you with the conviction that everywhere you go, YOU are responsible for everyone’s feelings. If your family is miserable, you spend all YOUR energy trying to make them happy. If they’re angry, you try to help them see the bright side of things. If they start fighting with each other, you ruin your own peace by trying to be a peacemaker for people who don't want peace. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who needs a way out of tense and

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34:20

Why Long Distance, Unavailable People Feel Like Your...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/18

Almost everyone who writes to me here at Crappy Childhood Fairy was not SEEN or UNDERSTOOD by the people who raised them. Whether it was neglect or addiction or mental illness or death, that loss of the attention you needed, in order to have a center, to know who you even are – can create years and even decades of empty relationships and a painful quest for real love – even as you block that from happening by attaching to people who CAN’T love you. In this relationship, it’s for one reason

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15:41

What To Do When They Keep Ignoring What You Want

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/16

You can SET boundaries. But You can't make people respect them. Shocking, right? We’ve all tried to make other people be who we want them to be but if the other person is not inclined, it’s exhausting to try to make them comply. Some people are aligned with us and they’re going to cooperate with us anyway. It’s the ones who are not aligned with us, where everything gets jammed up. Because these people are not interested in our boundaries. In this video, I'll teach you what a boundary is,

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115:32

Why People Neglected in Childhood Don't Get Loved...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/15

Neglect by a parent (or the loss of them) can leave an emotional wound on a child that affects them all their lives. How many times have you fallen for someone, only to find that you weren’t valued, your existence was kept secret from someone's "real" partner, relegating you to the status of "side chick?" The consequences of this pattern don’t just draw you to the wrong person; the pattern leads to behaviors that drive away good people who would otherwise seek a relationship with you. In

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21:29

Look For These Signs and Then Don’t Compromise

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/13

The first months of a romantic relationship can feel like there’s a sweetness that moves through everything in your life.. like all your problems have been solved -- especially when you’ve been alone a long time. But soon, things aren't so perfect, and each person's flaws are revealed. This is when you need to know the signs of whether someone is truly a good match, and if both of you are ready for actual love. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who sees signs of trouble, and

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15:46

A Partner Needs to Know About Your Past -- But What...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/11

Past trauma is almost always a factor among people who find themselves in the s*x industry; in recovery, many people leave this line of work and start their lives fresh. But what happens when it's time to date? In this video, I respond to a letter from a former stripper who would like to form a relationship with a good man, but worries that telling him too early -- or not at all -- could end up sabotaging their future.Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download:

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