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PODCAST

The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Renee Swanson, Bleav

Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

21:42

Snapshot of the Relationship with a Covert Narcissist

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/10/20

“I started this relationship looking for reasons to like him, but I ended it fighting against all the reasons that I hated him.” I have so many people voice this to me. You don't want to hate them. You fight against that for years, but your heart just keeps screaming louder.You spend years wondering what is wrong with you. Why can't you just focus on the good and move on? There are good traits and good days with them. I’m supposed to dwell on that, right? But why can’t I? What’s wrong with

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25:45

Trauma Bonding Part 2

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/10/18

Let’s remember what trauma bonding is - In a simple definition, it is when the one who has hurt you is the one you turn to help you feel better. Trauma bonding feels like, “you’ve broken me into pieces but you’re the only one who can fix me.” The more you reach out to this covert abuser for love, recognition, comfort, validation, support, reconciliation, or closure, the stronger the trauma bond becomes. You could even call trauma bonding a conditioned dependency. You have been conditioned to rely on

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18:29

Covert Narcissism and the Lack of Emotional Nourishment

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/10/13

People blow you off, saying you are making a big deal out of nothing. You’re just being too sensitive. You need to get tougher. You need to learn to stand up for yourself. But yet when you try, you get blamed for being the problem. So what's the big deal? Why am I spending a lifetime learning about covert narcissism? Because it matters!! Covert narcissists erase who you are. They rob you of your perspective, identity and personality.How do we stop this cycle? By giving our kids and our world

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21:39

Trauma Bonding Part 1 (Special Throwback Episode)

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/10/10

Why can’t I actually leave this relationship? I want to! I’m tired of being treated this way. I’m tired of the ups and downs. I want stability. I want peace. I want less drama. Why can’t I actually walk away? Why do I keep coming back? Why do I continue to give them another chance, over and over? What is wrong with me? Am I crazy? If this is you, what you are experiencing is trauma bonding. Trauma bonding keeps us tied to this person, no matter how badly they treat us. How does this work? Trauma

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19:34

The Covert Narcissist and Their Learned "Good" Behavior

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/10/06

I’m surrounded by narcissists. Is everyone a covert narcissist?Is every marriage affected by this? I can’t take anything at face value. Right now in today’s world, I feel like we can’t take anything at face value anymore. The news says one thing. Social media says another. At times, it truly feels like we are surrounded by a fake world. Covert narcissism is absolutely a part of this fake world. Covert narcissism is narcissistic traits hidden behind and covered up by learned good behavior. This

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22:31

Living in the Narcissistic FOG (Special Throwback...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/10/04

There is a reason that this word FOG always appears in capital letters now. It is an acronym for Fear, Obligation and Guilt. These words explain the progression of things for the victim of narcissistic abuse, and even more so with covert narcissistic abuse.The internal reaction of, “I’ll never do that again,” or "I'll never say that again," is the beginning of FEAR. Whatever it was that provoked that reaction from them that you just experienced, you will now avoid at all costs. Fear of their anger,

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17:21

Why is Narcissism Exploding?

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/09/29

Narcissism seems to be everywhere. You hear about it in so many families. Marriages that you thought were good, you learn that they are falling apart behind closed doors. Family members, friends, co-workers...everywhere you turn.Is narcissism on the rise? Yes! Why is this? There are many contributing factors. In this episode, I address a few of these reasons for this explosion in narcissism. The more we can understand, the more we can educate ourselves, the more we can help educate our children,

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22:19

3 Landmarks That Pushed Me Forward (Special Throwback...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/09/27

Last night, I was caught off guard with a question I had not really thought about. I was not prepared to answer this question about my journey with a covert narcissistic husband. Here's the question: Name 3 significant landmarks along the way. Three things that boosted me forward on this journey and got me to where I am today. At first, I only thought of external events. Things that actually took place on a specific day and involved people in my life. These events were what I named at the time. But

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15:49

Q & A With Renee Swanson and Her Covert Narcissism...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/09/22

Q & A With Renee Swanson and Her Covert Narcissism Podcast Journey Recently Renee had the opportunity to be interviewed about her journey with Covert Narcissism and how it led where it is today with the Covert Narcissism Podcast. Currently the Covert Narcissism Podcast is downloaded by hundreds of thousands of listeners each month, and has expanded from Renee’s guest room, to a studio, and from a small facebook group to group coaching and retreats that take place year round. The question on

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24:32

Covert Narcissism is More Than Just Normal Marital...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/09/19

It doesn't take long for struggles to show up when you are dealing with a covert narcissist, but we can easily convince ourselves that every marriage has its problems. We conclude that this is just normal relationship strife. But covert narcissistic behavior is more than this. You are not overreacting when you feel like this is a bigger deal than normal. Trying to talk ourselves out the issues we are facing everyday is detrimental to our health. It takes its toll emotionally, mentally,

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21:31

How to Counter the Effects of the Trauma Brain

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/09/15

Trauma causes post-traumatic stress disorder. This is literally the effects of the stress after the trauma, the remaining results of the trauma. Too much adrenaline in your system is extremely dangerous. Stress is a killer.What is stress? According to the World Health Organization, stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation. This just described your world when you are living with a covert narcissist. It IS having an impact on your brain. The good

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21:11

Everything You Say and Do Can and Will Be Used...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/09/12

I mean everything!! You never feel safe interacting with this person. This is why this particular type of abuse is so exhausting. While the abuse may not be constant, the risk of it is. The potential is always there. You never know with anything you say or do if it will set them off. When you are with a covert narcissist, everything you do gets used against you. Everything you say. Everything you do. Even every kind or compassionate act you do. In this episode, I give you personal examples from my

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20:14

Your Trauma Responses are Normal Responses

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/09/08

An emergency situation while hiking on the Appalachian Trail resulted in an extremely normal trauma response from me. Realizing the correlations between this trauma response and my past trauma responses to covert narcissism opened my eyes. My responses to trauma are normal responses! I'm not broken. I'm not over-reactive. These situations with a covert narcissist have been traumatic, and my system responded accordingly. I hope this personal story helps you to make the same connections in your

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19:55

Compare the Life of a Covert Narcissist With the Life...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/09/05

Are you trying to decide if all you are going through is "normal," or if it is fair and reasonable?In the last two episodes, I have talked about the codependency traits that so many victims have in common and the eternal victim role that covert narcissists play. These two things get trapped together so incredibly often. On one side, you have a person who does no self-reflection, no self-improvement, and no internal work. Instead they express out all the ways they have been hurt in life. The abuse

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19:47

Trauma Brain and Covert Narcissism

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/08/31

----more----There is an absolute fog that comes from dealing with covert narcissism. You struggle to think straight anymore, and the mind is running in circlesMany survivors ask me, "Is something wrong with me? Will I ever be normal again?" When you have been through a traumatic relationship, that trauma has an effect. I say trauma for a reason. This is not a normal relationship with its normal ups and downs. This is not a situation where you just grew apart There is an enormous difference

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32:17

Turning Your Life Around with Special Guest, Stephany...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/08/29

Meet an extraordinary woman , an attorney, recipient of the governor's award for advocacy with survivors of domestic violence, and international best selling author who triumphed over narcissistic abuse, with two marriages to narcissists behind her, she harnessed the transformative power of her mind and thoughts on her path to healing and personal growth. Her transformation came when she shifted from “why me” to “for me”. Hear her incredible story

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23:30

7 Ways to Protect Yourself from Covert Narcissism

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/08/25

Are you finding yourself reactive? Short-tempered? At least to them? Maybe even repulsed by their presence? This is a problem. This is the person living in my house, sleeping in my bed, professing their love to me, raising my kids with me, traveling with me. I can’t live like this. This has to change! How do I get my body to stop reaching to his presence?Even if you cannot get physical space from the covert narcissist in your world, you must begin the process of getting mental and emotional space

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23:26

The Eternal Victim Role of a Covert Narcissist

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/08/22

I hear so many people who have lived with a covert narcissist describe this person as a victim of everything. They can make everything be an attack on them or another way they got slighted.Covert narcissists love to play the victim role. They see themselves as an eternal victim. They will deny this of course. If you try to talk to them about it, then they will often react with sullenness and despair at how much your words are hurting them. Taking them right back into that victim role. Of course,

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18:51

Dealing With a Covert Narcissist

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/08/18

Dealing with a covert narcissist is different from dealing with people who are “narcissistic”. Most of the advice out there is just for dealing with people who are narcissistic, and that’s a lot of good information. There is a problem though. Covert narcissists don’t appear narcissistic. Covert narcissists are…not blatantly narcissistic. In fact, overall seem like a really good person - present as caring, kind, generous, involved in the community, loved by those around them, a great catch They

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19:55

How My Codependent Tendencies Led Me Straight to a...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2024/08/15

I now know the role that my own codependent tendencies played in creating this match. This match that I was convinced was made in heaven. This match that I truly believed was perfect. This match that was such a disaster. This match that nearly destroyed my own health and the lives of my boys. I realize now how much my own background played a part in all of this. How that very background could cause me to easily repeat this pattern, like so many do. So many victims leave one abusive relationship and

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442 results

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