The Covert Narcissism Podcast

00:31:19

Covert Narcissism: Who's Afraid to Disagree in Your...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/10/04

Covert narcissism often comes down to one simple question: who in your relationship is afraid to disagree? Renee walks through five everyday scenes: a restaurant, a mutual friend, the family dog, a wedding, and the car radio. Each one shows how a small difference of opinion can turn into an hour-long lecture, a loyalty test, the silent treatment, or an explosion. Over time, the person on the receiving end learns that staying quiet is the only way to keep the peace, and life becomes a constant walk

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00:28:32

Covert Narcissism and AI: Documentation, Court, and...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/10/01

What happens when an AI questions the story of someone who has spent years not being believed? In part two of this conversation, Renee and Anne Wintemute, founder of Aimee Says, look at how some AI tools push back on users in subtle ways, like "if it happened the way you say," and why that can feel a lot like gaslighting to survivors of covert narcissism.Anne explains how to move past validation to the question "now what?" and how survivors can use AI to organize journals, screenshots, and years of

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00:24:14

Covert Narcissism and Parenting: Why Does the Parent...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/09/27

Covert narcissism doesn't only show up between adults. It can shape how a parent relates to their own child. In this episode, Renee unpacks what happens when a parent can't hold the adult role in a disagreement, using a real client story about a mother who argues with her two-year-old daughter as though they were siblings.Renee traces this back to the same "on purpose" pattern she's experienced firsthand — where neutral, even funny moments get reinterpreted as personal attacks — and explores what

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00:27:07

Covert Narcissism and AI: Why Context Changes...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/09/24

Covert narcissism survivors are turning to AI for support, but what happens when it gets your story wrong? In this episode, Renee welcomes back Anne Wintemute, founder of Aimee Says, an AI tool built specifically for people who are in, or recovering from, controlling, manipulative, and abusive relationships. Anne explains why AI can only be as accurate as the context you give it, and why a missing detail can lead it to a conclusion that feels deeply invalidating to someone in narcissistic abuse

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00:27:50

Covert Narcissism's Fake Apology: Gifts, Guilt, and...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/09/20

Covert narcissism rarely says sorry out loud. Instead, it hands you a gift, plans a nice dinner, or turns on a sudden burst of affection — and calls it even. Renee Swanson breaks down why these gestures work like a reset button, closing the incident without ever offering the three things a real apology requires: accountability, humility, and vulnerability.She reads a personal story from her upcoming book, This Is Not Okay, about watching her own son learn to accept a Sonic slushie in place of an

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00:25:38

Covert Narcissism Recovery: Healing From the Echo...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/09/17

Covert narcissism recovery isn't just about understanding what happened to you — it's about finding your way back to yourself. In part two of this conversation, Renee continues talking with psychotherapist and author Amy Lewis Bear, picking up right at the emotional core of this discussion: vulnerability, and why it's often the very thing survivors of narcissistic abuse recovery are most afraid to offer again.Amy shares two powerful stories from her own therapy practice — clients who spent years

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00:32:11

Covert Narcissism and Circular Conversations: Why You...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/09/13

Covert narcissism doesn't always look like yelling or control — sometimes it's a completely ordinary conversation that somehow ends with you defending yourself against something you never said. This is what I call a circular conversation: every word you say gets fed through a filter that isn't listening to you, it's listening for a reason to feel attacked, or a reason to be right.Using real, everyday examples — a comment about milk, a text about being home around 6 — I walk through exactly how

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00:30:34

Covert Narcissism and the Echo Complex: Losing...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/09/10

Covert narcissism doesn't always look like screaming matches or dramatic blowups — sometimes it looks like a slow, quiet erosion of who you are. In this episode, Renee sits down with psychotherapist and author Amy Lewis Bear, who has spent nearly twenty years helping people through narcissistic abuse recovery and emotionally abusive relationships, and who has lived through this pattern herself.Amy is the author of From Charm to Harm: The Guide to Spotting, Naming, and Stopping Emotional Abuse in

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00:35:39

How to Spot Passive-Aggressive Behavior and What to...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/09/06

Last week, we asked whether passive-aggressive behavior is always narcissistic. The answer was no — but that still left a big question: how do you actually tell the difference in real time, and what do you do once you know?This episode gives you both. We go deeper into fear-based and care-based passive aggression — the kind that comes from being afraid of conflict, or from truly not wanting to hurt someone's feelings — and we talk honestly about how this pattern can show up even in survivors of

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00:28:07

Guilt-Free Living: Reclaiming Joy After a Covert...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/09/03

Did they make you feel guilty for taking time for yourself? In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee Swanson reads through real responses from her Covert Narcissism Group — the private Facebook community she started in 2018 — after asking members one question: what do you do now, just because you enjoy it?From napping and puzzles to solo walks, quiet mornings, and leaving the dishes in the sink, this episode explores how survivors of covert narcissistic abuse are reclaiming the small

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00:26:08

Passive-Aggressive Isn't Always Narcissistic — But...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/08/30

Ever asked someone "are you okay?" and gotten a four-syllable "I'm fine" that clearly meant the opposite? That's passive-aggressive behavior — and it's one of the sneakiest patterns to name out loud, because it's built to be deniable.In this episode, we break down the real signs of passive-aggressive behavior across relationships, family, friendships, and work — with specific examples you'll recognize immediately. Then we tackle the question listeners ask constantly: is all passive-aggressive

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00:28:27

Covert Narcissism The Types Keep Shifting (Same...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/08/27

What if the episode you already listened to still has more to teach you the second time around?In this throwback episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee revisits one of the most-requested episodes in the show's history — the original breakdown of the six types of narcissism: grandiose, vulnerable, malignant, communal, somatic, and cerebral. Instead of just replaying it, she reads back her own words from a year and a half ago and reframes them with everything she's learned since, including

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00:29:00

Covert Narcissism and Fight or Flight: 8 Tools for...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/08/23

Covert narcissism doesn't just create crisis moments — it leaves your nervous system stuck in a chronic state of hypervigilance long after the argument ends. You can get good at managing the spike, catching yourself mid-reaction, and still lie awake at night with your jaw clenched and your shoulders up around your ears for no reason at all.In this episode on narcissistic abuse recovery, Renee explains allostatic load — what happens when a nervous system adapts to years of walking on eggshells,

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00:37:13

Narcissist or Not? Decoding Red Flags in Dating Apps...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/08/20

Ever ignored a gut feeling on a date because you wanted to "give him a chance"? In this episode, I'm sharing a conversation from Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse — host Dr. Kerry McAvoy sits down with Dr. Jennie Young, a PhD linguist and creator of the viral Burned Haystack Dating Method, to break down how the words men use in dating profiles and early text messages expose who they really are before you've ever met in person.Dr. Young holds a PhD in rhetoric and discourse studies, specializing

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00:30:22

Covert Narcissism and Fight or Flight: 8 Tools to...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/08/16

If you've ever felt your chest tighten before your phone even finishes ringing, or braced for a reaction before you've said a single word — you already know what fight or flight feels like in a covert narcissistic relationship. It's rarely one dramatic moment. It's the accumulation: a grocery store phone call, an ordinary dinner plan, a night class — small moments that train your nervous system to expect danger from everyday life.In this episode, part one of a two-part series on fight or flight and

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00:28:08

Parental Alienation & Covert Narcissism: Protecting...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/08/13

In Part 2 of this CNG Community Chat, Renee Swanson continues the conversation with three parents navigating parental alienation and covert narcissistic abuse — this time focused on how to protect the relationship with the children they still have access to, and how to hold onto hope with the ones they don't. The conversation opens with a powerful explanation of why alienation happens the way it does: narcissists often break down the other parent first, creating chaos and instability, so they can

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00:23:11

This Isn't My Story Anymore. It's Ours: A Book for...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/08/09

This isn't my story anymore. It's ours.In this solo episode, I'm finally announcing something I've been sitting on for a long time: my book, This Is Not Okay: Escaping the Invisible Grip of Covert Narcissistic Abuse, is coming this fall. I walk you through the five stages this book moves through — the same stages so many of us move through on the way to healing from covert narcissistic abuse: recognizing, understanding, seeing, untangling, and reclaiming. I share what's inside each stage, including

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00:32:19

Parental Alienation & Covert Narcissism When Your...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/08/06

In this CNG Community Chat, host Renee Swanson sits down with three parents who are living through one of the most painful experiences a parent can face: watching a child be turned against them. This conversation covers parental alienation, covert narcissism, high-conflict divorce, and co-parenting with a narcissistic ex — and the very real toll it takes on the parent-child relationship.Each parent shares the moment they first recognized what was happening. One mother describes how truths that

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00:19:04

Covert Narcissism: Did I Make Him a Narcissist by...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/08/02

Have you ever discovered narcissism in your relationship, started reading everything you could find, and then panicked — wondering if you were the one who created the pattern you were seeing? In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee Swanson opens up about a fear she's never shared before: the worry that dwelling on covert narcissism had somehow manifested it in her marriage. She walks through the exact passages from Eleanor Payson's The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists that jumped

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00:39:52

Narcissistic Abuse & Predatory Behavior: You've Been...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2026/07/30

Narcissistic abuse and predatory behavior often hide in plain sight — and this episode pulls back the curtain on exactly how. In this special crossover conversation, I'm sharing an episode from Dr. Kerry McAvoy's podcast, Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse, featuring her conversation with Don Hennessy.Don Hennessy is an Irish psychotherapist who has spent decades working directly with abusive men and their partners, giving him a rare, firsthand understanding of how predatory control actually

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