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PODCAST

The Worst Movie Ever Made

Join Chris, Rob, and Bob as they hilariously dissect the most cringe-worthy films to crown the worst movie ever. Between Chris’s alliterative nonsense, Rob’s skewed insights from South Park binges, and Bob"s unpredictable naps, you"re in for a wild cinematic ride. Enjoy dodgy bumpers, laugh-worthy clips, and Rob"s wacky ad reads. Decide their next debacle via Instagram votes. Dive into cinematic chaos every Wednesday. Discover more at www.theworstmovieevermade.com. 🍿🎥😂

tv & film film reviews

All Episodes

01:31:56

#69 - Hellraiser

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/10/19

We made it to episode 69 (nice!), so we HAD to talk about Hellraiser. Chris, Bob, and Rob blur the lines between pleasure and pain as they take down this pile of shit. Why do people love this movie? Sounds like empty praise from a bunch of pinheads, amiright? Mummy Cummies! Reverberated daddies! Box trauma! The full spread! Spinning barbed wire boards! Putting the Parliament out on the Persian! Frank fetish flashbacks! Lumps! Nourishing nectar of the niece! Cobweb cardiovascular blood vessel revival

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01:26:44

#68 - Anaconda

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/10/12

Riddle me this... what's sweaty, smelly, and coiled up in a pungent lump at the bottom of the toilet? If you answered 1997's Anaconda, then you're 100% correct. Though it turns out Roger Ebert was a massive fan (not even joking, Google that shit). Ice Cube is somehow the best actor, and John Voight is nothing more than a shiny sausage with an axe to grind and a scowl that's as flaccid as a microwaved hotdog at 3am (TM). Paraguayan person popping up in mid production! Lopez letting the ladies loose

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01:13:36

#67 - Mortal Kombat

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/10/05

We know October is spooky month, and we're going to get into all that good stuff next week. But in the meantime we wanted to boof you with the doozy known as Mortal Kombat! A childhood favorite of many, but a sweaty turd on the radiator for most. Weepy Western Unions! Flawed victories! Side boob central! Caucasian Raiden! Cage/Kang carry-on confusion! Prying open those soul holes! White lightning wet willy whispers! Unwilling mousse tousles! Large electrical disturbances with a side of vocal fry

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01:37:33

#66 - Cabin Fever

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/09/30

No introduction for Cabin Fever as we kick off Season 8. Let’s skip to the good part, AHHHHHH, AHHHH- AHHH-AHHHH…you know like that song. The TikTok song for the glow ups… Pinwheel piss casts! Pipelogic comes back with a vengeance! Rubbing your chauffeur’s penis! Unconsenting capture of canoodling couples! Funny haha finger in the fanny! Punching the blood clam! Child abuse! Kung Food! Convenient hog slaughter! Zombie people pooping people poop meat, and much, much more on This Week’s Episode of The

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01:23:55

#65 - The Crow

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/09/23

We're a day late, but we promise it's for a good reason... we had scheduling conflicts. But we're back with a vengeance with a good movie to close the season out! Back with a vengeance, you say? That sounds familiar. Like 1994's The Crow, perhaps? Chris thinks this movie is just "okay," but Bob and Rob deliver death blows that convince him to think it's still just "okay." That's fine. Can't win them all! But do you know who won over our hearts this week? The Crow. Brandon Lee. The revengencer of a

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01:25:30

#64 - Spice World

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/09/16

Spice up your world... every boy and every girl. Ahhhhhhhhhh..... Balled up Ferret muscles! Everest ostriches! Gray gregarious white men! Frenetic fandering! Jovial particle blasting! You say goodbye, I say hello by squeezing your honkers! Baggin Saggin Barry Bus! Seinfeld squares! Ben Stiller babies! Photographer toilet stalkers! Reverse turd burgling, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com

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01:22:02

#63 - Masters of the Universe

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/09/07

Chris impersonates a leprechaun, Bob's foolery hits its zenith, and Rob pretends to question his own mortality as if that wasn't already a weekly recurrence as the gang raids Castle Grayskull to dump on Masters of the Universe! Oh, how we used to spend our Tuesday nights before we started this show... Musical butt plug keys! Chromatose Krispy Kreming! Octode rectifiers! Shiny metal blinky things! Dubbed Dolph dialogues! Impossibly deep shafts! English adjacent accent impressions! Laughing at people

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01:16:20

#62 - Lionheart

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/09/01

*sigh* Lionheart... Let's get into it. Front foot fuckery! Joshua tree listening party! Raisinet nipple reconnaissance! Clanging and not banging in the penthouse! Sneaky peeky poos! Ass flattery! Attempted pool party murder! Crab puff safety protocol! Dropping the French bomb! Jean Claude Can Dammes! The full spread! Creepy crouchies! Bozo blasting! Roller blader waiters, and much, much, more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com We're on YouTube every

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01:22:44

#61 - Under Siege

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/08/24

This week we talk about 1992's Under Siege with none other than Steven Seagal. We learn that he's more than just a cook, and has like 9 purple hearts and is so awesome at everything. We also learn that Tommy Lee Jones might be wearing a hair piece... or is he? Listen to the show to find out. The truth may surprise you. Let's do this! Loony Poons! Hnghnughnugh on the bayou! Return of the horsefishes! Summer’s Eve eating contests! Night milk titty rewinds! Death dangling! Ocean motions! Nuke equity,

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01:26:50

#60 - Judge Dredd

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/08/17

Judge Dredd is the law! And we're subjecting ourselves to his chiseled jawline, and remarkable stature. Oh, how we've been humbled by this steamy loaf. Let's not dilly dally... here we go! Sloppy Sly slaw! Faulty pipe logic (again)! Sci-Fi Denial! Wanton destruction of small businesses! Tit to toe leotard ensembles! Celebratory starvation pacts! Stabby soliloquies! Leslie Shats, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com Now on

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01:25:50

#59 - Hot to Trot

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/08/10

What has three heads, smells like puke, and will probably quit podcasting forever after the release of this episode? If you guessed Chris, Bob, and Rob, you guessed correctly. We done did it, ladies and gents. Listen to the baffled bewilderment of your beloved hosts performing mental gymnastics trying to explain away any decision made by the people who put this one together. It doesn't make any sense. Here's the yelling part: Equestrian enjambments! Impressive fingers! Livid liquids! Cocaine Quills

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01:25:43

#58 - Geostorm

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/08/03

Armageddon, Interstellar, and The Day After Tomorrow walk into a bar. They see two brothers touch wieners while shaking the president’s hand. A daughter who has a total of 3 minutes of screen time is supposed to be the emotional anchor that holds it all together. Bartender says the title of the movie half a dozen times for no reason. Everybody is confused. If you're troubled by what transpired, you might as well have watched Geostorm. A movie that defies space, time, science, and our sensibilities

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01:25:18

#57 - Howard the Duck

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/07/27

Season 7 starts off with a bang as we hopefully end this George Lucas Streak. George Lucas, the man who's indirectly responsible for the MCU (we think!). Let's get right into it. Regions of demons! Casual bestiality! Duck dick TikTok! Locking in the flavor! The career manipulation of Bodacious Beverly! Satan's Sluts, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com Coming soon to YouTube!

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01:28:18

#56 - The Empire Strikes Back

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/07/20

It's our season finale, so that means we end with a good movie! That's right, episode 5. The one with all the great quotables, betrayal, romance, and action. This movie was so good, that Rob actually kinda liked it. Lots of great nerding out on this one, and we get to once again cleanse our palates before diving into another season of hot garbage. Let's get right to it. Animal igloos! Milky Androids! Severe Severings! Bob Foolery! A distinct lack of debate over intergalactic trade routes! Total yak

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01:34:30

#55 - The Phantom Menace

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/07/13

We know, we know... you're looking at the title, and thinking, "not that movie!" It's okay. There are some things to consider. For one, our podcast runs shorter than the actual movie, we actually have a structure and sense of direction to our show, and we'd like to think we're charismatic and exuberant in our delivery. Based on those stats alone, we're already doing a better job than the assholes who made this piece of shit! Here's what we're going to talk about: Jar Jar Jargon! Serendickity

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01:30:41

#54 - Cyborg

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/07/06

Gather round, and grab a seat. It's time for your hosts to tell you a story about absolutely nothing happening. This is our fourth movie featuring the legendary JCVD, and we don't know why. It's basically the same movie every time. Want the deets? Here they are! Strategic stump assault! Smuckity Huckerson! Spooky Cataracts! Top Heavy Boob Maneuvers! Rob's pizza ruins the show! Jim West Boot Knives! CyBORING results! The lost city of... Atlanta, Georgia, and much, much more on this week's episode of

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01:36:21

#53 - Battleship

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/06/30

You guys! We know you probably think that we're making a bold assertion that 1:36:22 of 3 guys bitching about Battleship has more entertainment value than the 2:11:00 runtime of the movie itself, but we assure you we know what we're talking about. What a festering shit-box of a movie. Where do we start? Botched burrito burgling! Cyborg strutting! Cops leaving paraplegics to die! Top Gun soccer knockoffs! Art of War of the Worlds! Rihanna! Thunderstruck Boomer Blasters, and much, much more on this

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00:27:55

Fireside Chat w/ Chris and Rob

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/06/29

Today's episode is brought to you by not actually being a real episode. Our beloved co-host, Bob, has gone missing, and last we heard from him, he was speaking in code through a balled up sock and kazoo from a pay phone in Montreal. We're going to record the real episode on "Battleship," tomorrow night once we reconvene, but we didn't want you, our beloved audience, to miss out on your Wednesday bad movie drive time banter. Chris and Rob talk about lots of stuff in this short and sweet chat. The

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01:25:46

#52 The Faculty

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/06/22

The boys go back to school with 1998's The Faculty. You know, that movie that got a bunch of grunge artists on their fall from grace to botch a Pink Floyd song for the soundtrack. There's so much to talk about, so let's get right to it. Body-snatchers rules! Flogging the Bishop! Lost tits in the locker room! Double pussy puke! Teacher's lounge water whipping! Diuretic space cocaine! Underbelly dermis tickles, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! Wow.

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01:30:10

#51 - Gotti

The Worst Movie Ever Made ·

2022/06/15

The boys are back in town, but unfortunately so is John Gotti. We crawled through every single inch of marble-mouthed dialogue... fuck, even the guy who writes captions for TUBI quit his job forever and has not been seen since. Let's get right into it! Badfellas! Hairpiece philanthropy! Junior Gotti's secret youth elixir! Spousal abuse! Cop hat takesey backsies! Proper penis assessment, and much, much, more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever made!

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