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PODCAST

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship

Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Relationship Success — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples break free from dysfunctional toxic relationship cycles and build secure, loving, emotionally healthy connections.Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:✅ Healing from trauma bonding, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation ✅ Building

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

16:41

How to heal from a trauma bond? Part 1: The mirror...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/17

Part 1 on how to heal from a trauma bond. The episode is divided into two parts, so please listen to both for full info! In part 1 of this podcast episode, I delve into the topic of healing from a trauma bond. Have you ever thought of "why am I hooked into this painful relationship of a trauma bond but other people aren't? Or that other people seem to have the confidence to walk away from a relationship where they don't feel they're treated well (and yet I stay and justify

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14:07

What makes a happy and meaningful relationship? 3 key...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/13

In this podcast episode, I discuss the key to having a happy and healthy relationship, which is based on three pillars: my personal happiness, my partner's happiness, and the happiness of the relationship itself. The challenge lies in committing to these pillars and not falling into the trap of idealizing the relationship. Often, I may prioritize the relationship over my own well-being, sacrificing my happiness for the sake of maintaining it. Another issue is the lack of consistency and

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21:48

Sexual Intimacy and Anxiety: Performance Pressures &...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/11

Have you ever felt really anxious about "if you're any good in bed"? Well, navigating sexual intimacy with a narcissist in a relationship can be challenging. Many individuals struggle with trying to satisfy their partner who is never content and always demands more. This understandably creates anxiety and performance pressure - you fall into a spiral of questioning yourself and your ability from a sexual perspective, but then this expands to you questioning yourself as a whole.The

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13:16

"I'm still in love with my ex": Why you're not over them

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/10

In this podcast episode, we explore the experience of being unable to move on from a past relationship. The lingering feelings of love and constant thoughts about the person indicate a level of relational trauma. Our attraction to people is often based on what they bring out in us, tapping into deep emotions and patterns. These patterns are often formed during childhood based on our experiences with caregivers and shape our beliefs about adult relationships.For example, if our parents constantly

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16:24

Why you have to keep "fixing everything" and save the...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/10

In this episode, we delve into the dynamics of difficult relationships where constant difficulties prevail - because here's the truth. There is always someone who is a rescuer, someone who is a victim, and someone who is a persecutor. Chances are you have been a rescuer for a long time trying to save and fix people because they position themselves as a "victim". And if you don't save them - they persecute you.These roles of persecutor, victim, and rescuer can shift, leading to

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13:29

"No one else will want me": Why you're scared for it...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/08

In this podcast episode, I discuss the common fear of believing that nobody else would want to be in a relationship with oneself. I emphasize that this fear stems from feeling inadequate and unworthy, often due to experiences of criticism, rejection, or trauma in past relationships. We talk about the difference between mature love and immature love. Mature love is based on appreciating a partner's tangible qualities and loving them for who they are, while immature love stems from a need to fill

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14:40

"I feel sh*t and I don't know what to do". Here's an...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/08

In this podcast episode, I address the issue of low self-worth and offer you a four-step process to overcome it. Simply telling yourself to be more confident doesn't work and that the belief of not being good enough can be deeply ingrained due to past traumas, whether big or small. I challenge the common advice of loving yourself without needing the love of others, as it can feel frustrating and dismissive.The first step is for you to trace back to your earliest memory of feeling inadequate and

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10:18

My partner is the only one who can make me feel better

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/08

In this podcast episode, I discuss the issue of outsourcing emotional regulation to a partner and provide three key points to address this problem. Firstly, it is important for you to be aware of your emotions. Take a moment to pause, identify, and label the emotions you are experiencing. This self-awareness empowers you to understand what is happening and take appropriate action.The second point focuses on exploring the intention behind your emotions. Emotions serve as signals, conveying your

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6:23

Is my partner not interested in me anymore?

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/08

In this episode, we talk about what it is like when your partner all of a sudden seems less interested, distant, and withdrawn and you might be left questioning: is my partner less interested in me or are they dealing with their own issues? My response is: does it matter? You get the same level of contact from them - less affection, care, and communication in the relationshipUncertainty you feel leads to overanalyzing and walking on eggshells. The focus should shift to what is needed in the

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16:23

Why you justify your partner's abusive behaviours...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/07

In this podcast episode, I explore the concept of cognitive dissonance in relationships. Cognitive dissonance arises when we hold opposing beliefs about a situation, causing a struggle to find resolution. Using the example of Jane, who justified her partner's infidelity and hurtful comments, I illustrate how trauma bonded relationships often lead us to rationalize harmful behavior.I delve into the biological aspect of cognitive dissonance, where the bonding hormone oxytocin becomes associated

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24:07

Why do people DEPEND on staying in abusive...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/07

In this podcast episode, we explore the concept of trauma bonds and debunk common misconceptions surrounding them. I understand the struggle you face in trying to leave an abusive relationship despite the concerns of loved ones. Trauma bonds are a complex cycle of love and abuse where affection becomes entangled with criticism and neglect. Traits like high empathy, anxious attachment, or a history of childhood trauma can make individuals more susceptible to these bonds.The dependency on a trauma

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36:32

Police perspective: Why people stay in abusive...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/07

TRIGGER WARNING: Some reference to physical violence, domestic violence, aggression, and death.In this episode, the host is joined by John (alias), a former frontline police officer with experience in dealing with domestic violence cases. They discuss why people stay in abusive relationships from a police perspective, exploring both the legal and emotional aspects of the issue. John shares insights based on his years of handling domestic incidents, emphasizing the importance of separating the

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18:20

Why are narcissists attractive?

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/06

In this captivating podcast episode, I delve into the intriguing topic of narcissism and explore why some individuals like yourself find people with narcissistic traits attractive. Throughout the episode, I focus on the fragile sense of self that narcissists possess and how they employ self-inflation as a defense mechanism. Together, we examine the underlying reasons for this attraction, such as the allure of perceived success and the glimpses of vulnerability that narcissists reveal. We also

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13:23

Why your people pleasing tendencies is a red flag

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/05

In today's episode, we delve into the topic of people-pleasing tendencies and why they can be a significant red flag. Many individuals, including myself, often find themselves falling into the trap of people-pleasing, yet admitting to this behavior can be challenging. However, acknowledging and understanding our traits and tendencies is crucial for personal growth and living authentically. People-pleasers constantly prioritize others, catering to their needs, emotions, thoughts, and opinions to

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20:37

If you're an empath, you risk attracting & being...

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/05

The topic of why empaths are often attracted to narcissists is explored. People who identify as empaths have commonly grown up in environments characterized by criticism, judgment, aggression, and threats. These experiences have led them to prioritize others and work tirelessly to ensure their happiness, often neglecting their own needs in the process. This subconscious programming takes root during childhood. When entering relationships, empaths continue to prioritize others while suppressing their

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30:54

Why women stay in abusive relationships?

Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship ·

2023/07/05

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