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PODCAST

Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Ready for practical and positive perspectives on conflict? Join host Jane Beddall, M.A., J.D., to explore ways to preserve and restore harmony by preventing or limiting conflicts that may damage valued relationships and to effectively resolve those that may occur. We will talk about elephants in the room, expanding pies, the problem with cookie cutters, and much more. If you don’t know what those things mean, you will enjoy learning about them. If you do know them, you will be able to expand your

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:04:08

Honoring humility

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/03/30

Humility is a concept that is misunderstood at times.Some believe that it suggests a low opinion of yourself, that it is a sign of weakness. In fact, the more accurate understanding is that humility is a character strength. It is an indication that you have confidence in your abilities and – better still – you lack the need to brag about yourself. You don’t need to be arrogant. Humility allows you to have better interactions with others – to have no need to show that you think you are better in some

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00:05:20

Creating a conflict mantra

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/03/23

My last two guests touched on the idea of using a personal mantra to handle conflict more effectively. Pattie Porter shared that, inside her head, she has several phrases that she has created to help her achieve centering and stabilization when she feels triggered in a conversation. Treena Reillkoff spoke of a mantra of gratitude, a daily acknowledgement of things large or quite small to be grateful for and to build resilience. Creating your own? Be positive, short, and personal.Do you have comments

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00:27:26

Treena Reillkoff on the book Grief & Fatigue,...

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/03/16

Treena Reillkoff works as a Trauma Informed Conflict Management and Resiliency Specialist. We discuss how specific tools, practices, and perspectives can allow us to recognize and nurture resiliency in ourselves and others. Treena is one of 106 co-authors, from 27 countries, and 11 languages who share their insights in the book Grief & Fatigue: Families & the Pandemic: Stories of Struggle and Hope, with proceeds from sales supporting Ukrainian refugees.You can learn more about Treena and contact her

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00:04:35

Lessons from Spring Training

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/03/09

At this time of year, Major League Baseball teams are engaged in Spring Training. What could baseball’s Spring Training have to do with conflict? I see a few lessons to learn about conflict prevention. There’s the very basic idea that practice makes us better – at virtually everything. Probably even improvisation. Definitely in handling conflict well.These games don’t count in the regular season standings. They are an opportunity to practice.They are a chance for the whole team, and parts of the

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00:05:26

Messages sent and messages received

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/03/02

My guest last time, Pattie Porter, talked about Verbal Akido. One point that Pattie made is that something that feels like an “attack” may not be intended to be one. As is true with so much in communications that don’t feel comfortable, I would do well to take a beat, pause for a moment, gather myself…. And think. First, why do I feel attacked? What is it in me that was struck? Next, it is a legitimate criticism? Is it valid? Now, how can I react? If it does hit the mark, can I acknowledge that to

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00:26:11

Pattie Porter on Verbal Akido, in theory and in practice

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/02/23

For nearly thirty years, Pattie Porter has helped people get better at handling conflict through her work as a coach, trainer, academic, and other roles. And her podcast, the Texas Conflict Coach, shared some of her wisdom. In the last few years, Pattie has become a student and practitioner of Verbal Akido. She shares with us its three steps – in theory and in practice. You can learn more about Pattie and her work, and contact her, through her company website,

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00:03:17

Battles of attrition

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/02/16

Usually battles of attrition are associated with violent clashes in wartime. One side tries to wear down the other, to wear them down, exhaust them. But these battles can appear in interpersonal relationships, too. In those situations, there can be a dynamic effect that can alter the relationship. The one who is being worn down can feel not just defeated, but resentful. If you think you are going to give in, maybe you should do that right away!Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or

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00:04:40

Getting emotional

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/02/09

It’s not unusual to hear the admonition “Don’t get emotional” in the context of conflict. What poppycock. We are humans and we have emotions. It’s far better to recognize that fact, to acknowledge our emotions, and to think about what they are telling us. We should, of course, avoid being ruled by our emotions. We tend to think that only negative emotions can come up in conflict. In fact, positive emotions can be present, too. It’s best to think about our own emotions with some care – and to avoid

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00:27:28

Kristin MacDermott on the Four Family Meetings program

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/02/02

Kristin MacDermott is the creator of the Four Family Meetings program. This approach allows families and the individuals within them to begin with a positive perspective through storytelling, move on to the essential topic of handling conflict, explore the importance of boundaries, and strengthen a sense of belonging. You can learn more about Kristin’s work here: https://www.macdermottmethod.com/resilientfamilystrategies.com. You can contact Kristin here: kristin@kristinmacdermott.com.You can learn

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00:04:01

“No, and” instead of “no, but”

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/01/26

In improvisation, “yes, and” is the idea that one person makes a statement and then – whatever it is – the next person affirms it and then builds on it. That concept has been applied to communication. I talked about “Yes, and” in communication back in Episode 24, published on June 12, 2019. Would “no, and” lead to a more thoughtful conversation than “no, but”? Does it sound less like a reflexive way to tone down a rejection? Less of an automatic response that shuts down further discussion. It's

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00:05:40

“Spare”, Prince Harry, and airing dirty laundry

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/01/19

From a conflict perspective, what was the point of airing the dirty laundry in Prince Harry’s memoir, Spare? Telling your own side of a story is a very common desire. Perhaps his intention is to raise his standing (and Meghan’s) in the court of public opinion – which may be working or may be backfiring. Harry has said that he is open to a better relationship with his family. There may be a worse way to promote reconciliation than a gossipy memoir showcasing bad behavior by everyone else. But it is

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00:24:52

David Tate on Conscious Accountability

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/01/12

David Tate is the author, along with Marianne Pantalon and Daryn David, of Conscious Accountability: Deepen Connections, Elevate Results. We talk about expanded awareness, deliberate intentions, informed actions, and being responsible for our impact.You can learn more about his work Conscious Growth Partners here: https://consciousgrowthpartners.com/. Connect with David on LinkedIn here:https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-c-tate-780683/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An

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00:03:50

Playing to your strengths

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2023/01/05

Last week, I was certain – if you looked – that you could find some successes with conflict in 2022. This week, I am equally confident that you can build on your strengths in 2023. For example, it may be that you are quite good at welcoming varied perspectives. Or you enjoy ensuring regular communications – even when there is no particular news to share. Perhaps you are comfortable speaking calmly in a tense group setting and encouraging others to take a breath before speaking out in a way they may

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00:03:57

Looking back and finding successes

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2022/12/29

I invite you to look back on the year and see what you did well, what you did right, regarding conflict. The positives can take a range of forms. There may have been a very good conflict: a situation in which tough issues were grappled with. A little tougher to see is the potential bad conflict that was avoided. A conflict may have been negative – yet less damaging than it could have been. If a conflict erupted that did do damage, did you find ways to repair that? Or to figure out how to avoid that

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00:24:56

Stephen McGarvey on how to Ignite a Shift

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2022/12/22

Stephen McGarvey is the author Ignite a Shift: Engaging Minds, Guiding Emotions, and Driving Behavior. We discuss motivation, the importance of being understood, and the impact of certain words. Plus, I ask Stephen this question: “Why is this not creepy and manipulative?" Listen to our conversation to hear his response. You can learn more about Stephen’s work and the book at http://solutionsinmind.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict

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00:04:57

Disappointment, expectations, and reality

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2022/12/15

Author and speaker John C. Maxwell is credited with coining this phrase: “Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality.” It’s usually more difficult to change reality than to change our expectations. In circumstances of interpersonal conflict, change is often the key piece in expectation. We should take a moment to look – realistically – at aspects of a desired change to understand what change genuinely can be expected. If we consider our expectations with care – and

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00:23:26

Josh Patrick on failing fast and cheap

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2022/12/08

Josh Patrick is a business consultant who has learned from – and continues to learn from – personal experience and work with clients, as well as reading, writing, speaking, and podcasting about the challenges business owners face.Business owners can face internal conflicts – engaging in behaviors that don’t serve them well. I talk with Josh about failing fast and failing cheap, the value of small experiments, and more.Josh’s weekly podcast is Cracking the Cash Flow Code. You can sign up for his

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00:04:02

Following up – to reinforce or to repair

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2022/12/01

When you have an infrequent in-person conversation, think back to it. How did it go? Most important, what can you do now to follow up to improve that relationship? What can you do to increase the odds of positive conflict (creative and collaborative) in the future?If you had a good talk, seize on that! Follow up with a visit, phone call, text, email, or even an old-fashioned letter or card. Mental telepathy does not count. On the flip side, if it didn’t go well – consider reaching out to repairwhat

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00:04:49

Recognizing salience bias

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2022/11/24

Cognitive biases represent shortcuts in our thinking and how we reach conclusions. You can learn about Overcoming confirmation bias in Episode 129, published on June 16, 2021. Managing availability bias is the topic of Episode 143, published on September 22, 2021. And Episode 176, published on May 11, 2022, is about Implicit Bias and the Implicit Association Test. There are plenty of other biases. Today, a few words about salience bias. In this context, salience means how prominent or emotionally

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00:05:35

In-person gatherings and online meetings

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2022/11/17

We are now coming into the time of year for traditional family gatherings. For many years, these in-person celebrations have been the time to tackle difficult conversations and make important decisions. Lots of families are coming together this season for the first time since 2019. In the depth of the pandemic, remarkable lessons came out of our need to shift away from in-person gatherings to online group conversations and meetings.Prioritize human connections when gathering in-person – whatever

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