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PODCAST

Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Ready for practical and positive perspectives on conflict? Join host Jane Beddall, M.A., J.D., to explore ways to preserve and restore harmony by preventing or limiting conflicts that may damage valued relationships and to effectively resolve those that may occur. We will talk about elephants in the room, expanding pies, the problem with cookie cutters, and much more. If you don’t know what those things mean, you will enjoy learning about them. If you do know them, you will be able to expand your

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:03:37

Generations, Cohorts, and False Assumptions – Part 1

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2026/02/05

We hear plenty of stereotypes about generations. In cohort theory, the emphasis is not on rigid boundaries set by birth years, but on shared experiences. Generations and cohorts themselves don’t necessarily get us into trouble. False assumptions do.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY®

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00:27:52

David Russell on Bridging the Generational Divide

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2026/01/29

David Russell joins me today. We talk about his book, Bridging the Generational Divide: Generational Perspectives on Money. David says that his book is intended as a guide for advisors who are navigating family wealth, values, and conversations across generations. I say that it has valuable insights for anyone interested in these challenges. Advisors who are not financial advisors, family members, and others. One of my favorite takeaways is the idea that our perspective is shaped not

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00:03:38

Triggers – direct and indirect

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2026/01/22

The direct ones are, well, direct. They are easy to see. Who wouldn’t be offended? Indirect triggers are trickier. If I know the other person well, I may have a good guess at their indirect triggers. I can try not to create problems. I can consider those indirect triggers when I speak or don’t – or act or don’t.If I don’t know the other person well, and I inadvertently hit an indirect trigger, I may know immediately, or not so soon. I could just assume that the other person is overreacting for no

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00:27:43

Mitch Abrams on anger, aggression, and assertiveness

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2026/01/15

Dr. Mitch Abrams joins me to talk about his book, I’m Not F*cking Angry!: adjust the flame to get what you want and need. We discuss the distinction between anger and aggression, and our perceptions of aggression vs. assertiveness. Plus, some helpful insights about apologies: as the person offering one and as the person on the receiving end. You can learn more about his work and contact him through his website: https://drmitchabrams.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest

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00:04:10

Fan favorites of 2025

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2026/01/08

Three brief episodes from me. It’s just a coincidence that they published three in a row in the summer.First, Episode 345, published on July 30, 2025, “Conversations, chats, discussions….” 4:23, http://bit.ly/40O1p1X.Second, Episode 346, published on August 6, 2025, “First you make a plan”. 4:27, http://bit.ly/4fA7hlG.Third, Episode 347, published on August 13, 2025, “… and then you get ready to pivot.” 4:13,http://bit.ly/4lyQEIr. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea

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00:03:58

When you are caught off guard

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2026/01/01

My most recent guests, Alice Driscoll and Louise van Haarst, talked with me about their book, Smart Conflict: How to have hard conversations at work. They introduced their Five R Model: Reflection, Regulation, Readiness, Response, and Repair. The very words “caught off guard” set the tone. You are on defense. It’s a difficult conversation. Because you didn’t see this coming, you do not have a response prepared for this particular situation. Alice and Louise have some sound advice: be ready with a

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00:04:02

When you are prepared to respond

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/12/25

My most recent guests, Alice Driscoll and Louise van Haarst, talked with me about their book, Smart Conflict: How to have hard conversations at work. They introduced their Five R Model: Reflection, Regulation, Readiness, Response, and Repair. Thinking about Response. There are times when you know the likely path a difficult conversation will take. You may know the other person well. Or you may have had a variation of this conversation before. Or both. A prepared response can prevent us from feeling

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00:28:58

Alice Driscoll and Louise van Haarst on Smart...

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/12/18

Alice Driscoll and Louise van Harrst join me today. We talk about their book, Smart Conflict: How to have hard conversations at work. Our conversation is in two parts. Last time, in Part 1, we covered the foundation for the contents of the book and discuss and overview of the five Rs of their model. This time, in Part 2, we continue with a deeper dive into those five Rs – noting that it is possible to jump in wherever it feels right to you in the moment. You can learn more about their work at their

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00:27:43

Alice Driscoll and Louise van Haarst on Smart...

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/12/11

Alice Driscoll and Louise van Harrst join me today. We talk about their book, Smart Conflict: How to have hard conversations at work. Our conversation is in two parts. Today, in Part 1, we cover the foundation for the contents of the book and discuss and overview of the five Rs of their model. And next time, in Part 2, we continue with a deeper dive into those five Rs – noting that it is possible to jump in wherever it feels right to you in the moment. You can learn more about their work at their

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00:04:55

VUCA becomes VUCAA, courtesy of Peter Schein

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/12/04

Way back in March 2020, I published two episodes about VUCA. VUCA V - U -C- A is an acronym describing a concept that was developed by the U. S. Army War College to describe the world after the end of the Cold War. A world that was more Volatile, V; Uncertain, U: Complex, C; and Ambiguous, A.Peter Schein talked with me in Episode 361, published two weeks ago, about his book, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling, which was published earlier this year.In the book, Peter refers

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00:03:54

Humility and Humble Inquiry: not quite the same

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/11/27

My most recent guest, Peter Schein, talked with me about his book, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling. Peter makes a distinction between Humble Inquiry and humility. The Humble Inquiry attitude does not require humility as a personality trait. Some of us do tend toward arrogance. Yet, that trait does not preclude the application of Humble Inquiry. Peter suggests thinking of Here-and-now Humility: accepting that there are times when we are dependent on each other for sharing

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00:29:45

Peter Schein on Humble Inquiry

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/11/20

Peter Schein joins the show to talk about his book, the third edition of Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling. Peter had previously written with his father, Edgar Schein, now deceased. We discuss the concept of humbly inquiring, instead of boldly telling, with the goal of building relationships. And we explore how Humble Inquiry is both an art and an attitude. You can learn more about Peter’s work at the Organizational Culture and Leadership Institute here:

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00:03:53

Holding off

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/11/13

“Holding off” may seem to be the opposite of jumping in, but there are some other angles.Holding off has a flavor of deliberate choice. I am thinking this through and reaching the conclusion that now is not the time. This is not the same as wimping out. It’s a decision based on a reasoned analysis. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me

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00:04:23

Jumping in

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/11/06

In the context of preventing and resolving bad conflict, “jumping in” will typically be a bad idea.Why? Because it is fast. That’s the whole point. Life today both prizes speed and forces it as the world seems to change faster and faster. The problem? Fast serves us well when being chased by a tiger, but not so well in many other situations. When we allow ourselves some time to actually think, with reason, our decisions tend to be better ones. Occasionally, jumping in is exactly the right thing to

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00:28:56

Buddy Thomas on Love, Wisdom, and Money

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/10/30

Buddy Thomas joins me to talk about his book: Love, Wisdom, Money: The Family Fiduciary’s Guide to Generative Wealth. We discuss the higher standards of being a family fiduciary and how family leaders become one. Buddy also describes the phases of the intergenerational wealth journey the families can be found in: Accumulators, Harvesters, Stewards, Survivors, or Heirs. You can learn more about his work and the book here: https://lovewisdommoney.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic

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00:04:20

To infer and to imply, part two

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/10/23

To infer means to guess or use reasoning. Another definition is to conclude or judge from premises or evidence.To imply means to suggest indirectly or to indicate something without actually stating it. I, the listener or reader, need to try to figure out the message that you, the speaker or writer, are sending. And I might guess wrong. Not only am I interpreting what I hear and read through my personal filter. I am also trying to read through the lines to understand what you are trying to tell

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00:05:32

To infer and to imply, part one

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/10/16

My most recent guest, Gerry O’Sullivan, talked with me about her process, The Journey of Inference. As she puts it succinctly: “Our Journey of Inference interprets the world of observable data according to our unique perspective or paradigm.”It’s clear from Gerry’s process and our conversation that our inferences can get us into trouble, precisely because we each carry a unique perspective or paradigm.Dictionary definitions of infer are, if not quite unique, not fully consistent.For example, one

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00:32:40

Gerry O’Sullivan on The Journey of Inference

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/10/09

https://www.osullivansolutions.ie/ You can also sign up for a free newsletter, view free videos, and get a taste of her book, The Mediator's Toolkit: Formulating and Asking Questions for Successful Outcomes (2nd Edition).Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach

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00:04:44

Analyzing criticism

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/10/02

Our initial reaction to criticism can be exactly that: a reaction more than a response. And it can be black or white.Neither of those things tends to help.Better. Remind yourself that very few things in life are genuinely black or white.Take a pause. Take a breath. Take a look at the criticism. No need to beat up on yourself or on the other person. View the criticism through a careful lens. One that includes analysis and also kindness to yourself and some grace to the other person. Do you have

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00:04:21

The Buddha’s response to rude or angry criticism

Crafting Solutions to Conflict ·

2025/09/25

In the story of the Angry Man, the Buddha illustrates how to disarm criticism based or anger or rudeness. A young man came to insult the Buddha, but the Buddha did not become angry or insulted. Instead, he calmly asked the man a question: "If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, to whom does it belong?". The young man replied that the gift would belong to the person who offered it. The Buddha then calmly responded: The young man replied that the gift would belong to the person who

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