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PODCAST

Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

50:45

42. The Mindset of Pleasure with Danielle Savory

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/06/24

How does the way you think affect your sex life? What causes the excitement of a new relationship to fade? And, can changing your mindset create more pleasure in your relationship and life? According to pleasure expert Danielle Savory, you can transform the way you experience your relationship simply by changing how you think. As she says, people in long-term relationships often unintentionally eliminate the things that create desire and make the relationship exciting — but it doesn’t have to be

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37:53

41. Clarifying What You Want in a Relationship

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/06/17

If you aren’t getting what you want out of your relationship, what can you do to make a change? Couples therapy is one option, but it doesn’t always work for every relationship. Fortunately, there are other ways of improving your relationship and satisfying your individual needs. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, there is no simple, one-size-fits-all solution — and no one but you can tell you what you need. As she says, you’ll have to decide for yourself what’s truly right for you. However, there are

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49:39

40. Blow Your House Down with Gina Frangello

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/06/10

When everyday life is chaotic, difficult, or unfulfilling, affairs can offer an escape from reality. However, the deception of an affair isn’t always limited to the lies we tell others — trying to escape reality can also be a way of deceiving ourselves. According to author Gina Frangello, nothing is really an escape. She understands how, at first, leading a double life can feel exciting and intoxicating. But, while it may initially seem like a neat compartmentalized part of your life, your affair

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44:39

39. Healing from Heartbreak with Dorothy Johnson

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/06/03

Heartbreak can be devastating. And, it’s not just the loss of the relationship itself that is so painful — there are also messy feelings involved with the practicalities of untangling your life from someone else’s. So how do you move forward in a healthy way? Is there a technique for transforming your pain into something better? According to Breakup Coach Dorothy Johnson, you can turn your pain into power with the right tools and perspectives. As she says, your internal beliefs are much stronger

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41:58

38. Sexuality, Religion, and Shame with Melissa Hite

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/05/27

Unfortunately, sexuality and shame frequently go hand-in-hand, and religion’s messages about sex may be partially to blame. Even if you aren’t religious, you can still be affected by the messages that have seeped into society — such as the ideas that masturbation is bad or pleasure is wrong. So, how can you overcome these problematic frameworks and rewire your relationship to sex? As a Sexual-Spiritual Advisor, Melissa Hite helps her clients reframe their sexual response cycles and embrace their

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22:13

37. Discomfort, Drama, and Infidelity

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/05/20

Wanting relief from uncomfortable feelings doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. In fact, it’s a natural, human response. However, it’s important to determine whether you’re actually dealing with your discomfort or simply avoiding it. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, the short-term satisfaction you find through avoiding uncomfortable feelings is typically outweighed by long-term consequences. But, many people aren’t taught how to deal with discomfort in a constructive way. That’s where Dr. Murphy

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42:05

36. Good Enough Sex with Dr. Barry McCarthy

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/05/13

What does it mean to have good sex? Has science uncovered the truth about what feeds desire? And, is there a way to redefine your understanding of sexuality and rekindle a positive sexual relationship with your partner? According to Dr. Barry McCarthy, sexuality consists of three components: intimacy, pleasure, and eroticism. For a healthy sexual relationship to exist, those components need to be balanced and approached with realistic expectations. So, how can you start having better sex today? Dr

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32:21

35. Changes and Choices in Relationships with Yael...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/05/06

When a couple relocates for one person’s job, it can be difficult to adjust to the new circumstances. Yael Haklai-Neagu, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, knows from first-hand experience just how challenging that process can be. When she moved to the United States for her partner’s job 16 years ago, she had to overcome a number of difficulties — including the extra stress the relocation placed on her relationship. According to Yael, the individual who moves for their partner’s job (also

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48:32

34. Mindfulness, Music, and Relationships with Dr....

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/04/29

How can you lower your levels of anxiety, stress, and negativity? Is it possible to change how you feel by changing the way that you think? And, can you improve your relationships by learning how to be more present? According to Dr. Richard Gold, mindfulness and meditation are the keys to relieving your stress, boosting your mood, and even improving your relationships. He suggests that by changing how you think about your circumstances, you can affect psychological changes and form new pathways in

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27:28

33. How to Deal with Missing Your Affair Partner

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/04/22

Dealing with the loss of any relationship can be difficult, and the end of an affair is no different. However, because of the secretive and taboo nature of infidelity, navigating the emotional aftermath can be confusing and lonely — especially if there’s nowhere to turn for support. So, how can you manage that lingering sadness and find the right path forward? If you’re looking for a better way to deal with your emotions after an affair, Dr. Marie Murphy suggests that you begin by changing how you

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40:09

32. Money and Your Relationships with Christine Luken

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/04/15

Leaving a bad relationship can be scary when you don’t have the resources to support yourself on your own. But, figuring out how to manage your finances is only part of the equation. Dealing with your emotional entanglements with money can be just as challenging as you work to get yourself back on track—and prepare for future relationships. This was especially true for Financial Coach Christine Luken, who had to deal with the painful financial aftermath of leaving a seven-year relationship. That

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39:33

31. A Happy Life in an Open Relationship with Susan...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/04/08

You should never try and fit yourself into a mold of someone else's preferences. But, deciding to go against societal norms can be challenging. So, how do you know if a big decision—such as opening up your relationship—will be worth it in the end? When Susan Wenzel decided to try nonmonogamy with her partner, she struggled with a range of difficult emotions before finding happiness. As she says, we can’t know what the future holds, but we are responsible for our choices—including how we choose to

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57:11

30. Affair Recovery for Couples with Idit Sharoni

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/04/01

Recovering from an affair is a difficult and emotional process. From dealing with shame to deciding whether or not to move forward, many couples aren’t sure of how to begin healing. Wouldn’t it be helpful if there was someone you could turn to for guidance on your journey to a new and stronger relationship? After working with couples who were recovering from infidelity, Idit Sharoni realized that what they needed most was a roadmap to healing—so she created one. Although the path isn’t necessarily

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46:37

29. How to Have a Secret Affair

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/03/25

Most people would agree that your partner can’t fill every role in your life, but what happens when they’re unwilling to explore your sexual desires? If you love your spouse and don’t want to break up your family, do you simply accept going without and learn to live with suppressing your sexual needs? After spending years repressing her sexual desires and coping with feelings of rejection in her marriage, Nikki S. concluded that it was her responsibility to fulfill her own needs. So, she decided to

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42:32

28. When You're the One Who Cheats with Dr. Tammy Nelson

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/03/18

Affairs can be intoxicating, but they can also leave you feeling confused and ashamed once the excitement wears off. So, why do people cheat, and what makes an affair difficult to end? And, once you’ve been caught in your lie, how can you salvage your relationship? A lot of the answers for why we do what we do can be traced back to the chemicals flooding our brains. Much like being under the influence of a drug, our chemical response to a new or elicit relationship can make it difficult to see

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51:01

27. Recovering from Trauma in Relationships with...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/03/11

Getting out of an abusive relationship is extremely difficult, but the work doesn’t end there—not if you truly want to revitalize and reinvent your life. But, where do you begin when you’re ready to start over? Alta M. Felix understands how difficult it is to move on and begin to heal after surviving trauma. She has experienced firsthand what it’s like to rebuild after leaving an abusive relationship, and now she wants to help other women let go of the past and work toward a better future. With her

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31:07

26. Having an Affair to Save a Marriage

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/03/04

All relationships change over time, but how often do you renegotiate the rules surrounding them? What happens when a long and happy marriage becomes sexless? Do you have options beyond ending the marriage or compromising your needs? After spending time in therapy with her husband trying to deal with their differing sex drives, Janine came up with a solution. Instead of throwing away her entire marriage over one missing part, she decided to outsource that one aspect to save the rest. Now, she is in a

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47:04

25. Financial Infidelity with Adam Kol

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/02/25

Money is a taboo subject in any situation—but when it comes to relationships, talking about finances can feel downright impossible. With financial stress being one of the top causes of divorce, it’s no wonder that most of us would rather avoid the topic altogether. But, according to Couples Financial Coach Adam Kol, skirting the conversation often only makes things worse. With years of experience helping couples sort out the messy details around love and money, Adam Kol will be the first to tell you

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48:48

24. All About Ashley Madison with Isabella Mise

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/02/18

Why do people cheat, and how has the COVID-19 pandemic changed infidelity? Is it even possible to have an affair during a pandemic? And, is honesty always the best policy? Perhaps the answer isn’t as straightforward as society likes to presume. During her time working at Ashley Madison, Isabella Mise has learned that where there’s a will there’s a way. She has gained fascinating insights from conversations with hundreds of members who use the site regularly. As she says, people have affairs for a

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29:53

23. Deciding to End a Commitment

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/02/11

What power do commitments hold over your life? Are they positive, negative, or something to fear? And, once you commit, do you feel like you have to stick with it, regardless of the cost? What if the price you pay is your own happiness? Commitments are highly valued in our society, and they can be a powerful tool to help us achieve our goals. But what if we’ve committed to an outdated version of our wants and needs? For many, commitments are seen as something we’re obliged to stick with, whether

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